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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends The Cold is Quiet (L/M vignette - yep, *another* in the Temperature Series at long last)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obaona, Nov 30, 2004.

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  1. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Thanks for clicking. [:D]


    Title: The Cold is Quiet
    Summary: Eh. Strange. L/M. Maybe not technically a vignette, but close enough! :p
    A/N: This is gonna be long, so if you wanna skip, I understand. :p Many huge thanks to Michele (Jedi-2B) for beta'ing. [:D] No, this title was not provided by any reader (for which I sincerely apologize), but credit to the way the story developed still goes to Michele, who came up with 'Frosty the Jedi' and inspired this. This is actually the - third version (I had three completely different ones), I believe, in my tries to do that title justice, and I never quite got there. ;) Of all the Temperature vignettes, this is definitely the most 'out there'. ;) However, it still has temperature, physically and metaphorically. [face_batting]

    Is this the last? Hard to say. :p This thing doesn't die easily. 8-} I won't say no, not ever, but neither can I promise there will be another. ;) Chronologically, this is set between The Blanket Incident and It Was Cold. It is the 12th in the series. I am amazed and thrilled that even months after the last one, people still kept asking for another (I'm looking at you, kayladie O:) ). I hope you lovely people enjoy. [:D]

    Chronological Listing and Links of the Series: I am putting this here due to the fact that readers have posted on different stories with ?what?s this about a sequel??. :p Here are all the stories (including this one) in chronological order (not the order they were written): Cold Front, Breaking the Ice, The Blanket Incident, The Cold is Quiet, It Was Cold, If You Can?t Stand the Heat, Warming Up, It Got Too Hot, Kindling the Flame, Mara the Burninator, It?s Not the Heat, It?s the Humidity, and Heat Wave.

    Cover Art


    Feedback is, as always and ever, appreciated and adored. :)






    The cold is quiet, the quiet is cold.

    It doesn?t quite make sense that way, Luke thought, dazed and slow, but still functioning. Snow muffled all noise. It was an amazing soundproofing material. Nothing echoed, not like stone. Stone ? yes, that echoed, in huge caverns and high canyons.

    All considering, he felt it odd that snow was white. White was such a pure color; the color his sister wore.

    It felt inappropriate that white could kill. Black killed. Not white.

    Well, that was odd. What was that crunching noise? Luke opened his eyes with great effort, his lids refusing to cooperate at first, willing to bow against the pressure of the frozen water that had wet his eyes.

    Something startlingly red waved within his view.

    Now, what was red? Not black or white, certainly. Not killing, not [i]not[/i] supposed to be killing.

    Red.

    He
     
  2. Hananiah

    Hananiah Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 15, 2003
    Lovely Mara introspection going from alternatly being annoyed with Luke to worrying about him, great use of cold and the remp idea. I really liked it.
     
  3. Jedi-2B

    Jedi-2B Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    Wonderful job with this one, oba. It was my pleasure to beta it. Like I told you, I loved how you had Luke's thoughts fractured and halting, just as they would be when he was hallucinating. And loved how he noticed the colors, even if he couldn't bring them into reality. And Mara was very much in character -- worried sick that he might die, and yet berating him for worrying her.

    Now I guess Mara and Han can compare notes on thawing out Luke. I'm just glad she had her ship nearby, instead of a dead tauntaun. :p
     
  4. LukesTheMan

    LukesTheMan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2004
    ?I?m sorry for hurting you,? Mara whispers. ?Sleep. Just wake up.?

    Luke doesn?t nod, he smiles. ?Slapp?d me.?

    Another pause, and the green shimmers. Red and gray and green ? ?It always gets your attention,? she says.

    Her touch is more powerful now.

    All is quiet, but not cold.


    I really liked that! You do Luke and Mara so well. Another wonderful work!

     
  5. Jedikma

    Jedikma Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    What do you mean *another*? Isn't this # 12 which you promised almost a year ago? :D

    (cheeky ex-padawan)

    Love it Oba!!! But then I love all your temp series stories. :)

    Wonderful!!!

    ~Jedikma :)
     
  6. ThePariah

    ThePariah Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2003
    *GASP* MORE Temp??!!! :eek: And such a fantastic one at that!! Can this day get any better?!

    *explodes all over laptop*

    [Force_Ghost] Awww, now see what you made me do...what a mess. [/Force_Ghost] :p [face_laugh]

    This is just incredible, Oba. I love how you can say so much with so little. *is green with envy* But I can't be annoyed for long, you're just too good! [:D]
     
  7. Bri_Windstar

    Bri_Windstar Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 27, 2002
    Temp series addition!!!! :eek: :D *slobbers all over you* :*

    You know, actually, this one might by my fav (if i can remember all of them :p ) in terms of style and pacing. The writing itself, the structure, works very well for the story that's being portrayed. He's out of it, more or less, and his awareness is stuttered and halting, hazy. Hers is far more centralized, fast and flowing with urgency and grief; the way the apology and the cursing him comes rushing out of her parallels the way she's rushing to save him , like she's rushing to save not only him, but her chance with him (be it to apologize, their friendship, something more serious, whatever, just that chance in general).

    Uh, i mean, that was some gooooood shiznit, Oba. Word. :cool:

    *stops rambling* :p ;)
     
  8. MY-T-Chewbacca

    MY-T-Chewbacca Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 10, 2004
    That was really great! I will have to go and check out the rest of the series as well!
     
  9. TheCrazyRodian

    TheCrazyRodian Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2004
    Delicious.
     
  10. J_M_Bulldog

    J_M_Bulldog Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 24, 2003
    Ooooh, that was great obaona. Perfect addition to the Temp series.
     
  11. StarFighter5

    StarFighter5 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 25, 2003
    What a great vig. It goes perfectly with the rest of the series.
     
  12. Knight_Aragorn

    Knight_Aragorn Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2003
    I loved this story! Great characterisations and introspections... I love the way you get into Luke and Mara's heads so well. The description of the healing trance was interesting... I got a really clear image of what Luke was doing. Great job!
     
  13. AvenKiel

    AvenKiel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 18, 2003
    Oh, I love it! That's totally how I envision Mara cursing out Luke for being stupid. That's how she shows she cares. *sigh* [face_love]
     
  14. Kazzy

    Kazzy Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 17, 2002
    Very nice.

    I hate snow. It's all cold and wet. Luke doesn't seem to have much luck with it either. It's a good thing that Mara was around to pull him about of trouble!
     
  15. Lady-Hermione

    Lady-Hermione Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2003
    LOL! Perhaps it was not your intention, but I found this hysterical! I have a twisted sense of humor; forgive me. Everytime Mara thought something along the lines of "you damn fool", it just cracked me up. It was very sweet, though, because it's obvious that Mara's fierceness is derived from her deep care for Luke-- even if she wouldn't admit it at this point in time. ;)

    Very nice read! I get sentimental warm fuzzies whenever I see a Temperature Series addition. :)
     
  16. Ariapaige

    Ariapaige Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2002
    Yay! more from the temp. series! i agree with Lady-Hermione about the fuzzy feeling whenever i see a new post. i loved the Mara introspection portion the best, though Luke's musings on the nature of the perception of color was wonderfully descriptive. i hope this isn't the last, Oba. i still want to see Frosty the Jedi. heh :D

    ;) paige
     
  17. Jedi-2B

    Jedi-2B Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    i still want to see Frosty the Jedi. heh

    I think this is her version of Frosty the Jedi.
     
  18. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Hananiah: I don't think Mara could be worried without simultaneously being mad. :p I'm glad you liked it. :D Thank you!

    Jedi-2B: Thank you. [face_blush] Aye, the interesting thing is that I wrote Luke's part months before Mara's. :p I'm glad it seems real, though, I was trying really hard. :p Yeah, I think that's Mara's way - if someone is worrying her, it's that person's fault. At least, that's what she tries to convince herself. ;) Very much a person of denial, Mara. [face_thinking]

    And LOL! [face_laugh] I have to say, I'm happy as well, since that would be icky to write. :p Thank you! [face_dancing]

    LukesTheMan: Thank you. :D I heart Luke and Mara. ;)

    Jedikma: Hey! It's still 'another'! :p I'm glad you like this one, and the rest. :D Thank you. @};-

    ThePariah: ]-} :eek: :p . You are so weird sometimes, I hope you know that. ;) *pats Force ghost on the head* Aye, I've been experimenting a lot, I've noticed, with saying as much as possible with as little as possible. Given enough length, it's pretty easy to get something across, but in something short, it's much harder, imho. :D Thank you! [face_blush]

    Bri: *brushes off slobber* Hi, dearest. ;) I bet you were surprised when you saw this. [face_dancing] That's very interesting that you say that about the style and pacing. I was aware when I was writing this that this was not following the style of the other Temp vigs, and I wondered if it would 'fit' for that reason. In Luke's, I really wanted it to fit what he was going through, with the reader knowing more of what's going on then he did. Mara was fun, because it's this internal monologue where she's talking to him as she finds him and drags him back to the ship. I'm glad you liked the apology too, and got that out of it, because that's what I was going for, on a more subtle basis. I also wanted to have it be somewhat metaphorical, in Mara saving him from the cold - of loneliness. ;)

    Uh, I mean, thank you. ;) [:D]

    MY-T-Chewbacca: They're of varying quality, but a lot of fun nevertheless. :D Thank you! @};-

    TheCrazyRodian: Thanks, I think. :p

    J_M_Bulldog: Thanks! :D I'm glad it fits. ;)

    StarFighter5: I'm glad. :D I was worried that it wouldn't, and really, you readers are what tell me if it does. ;) Thank you! @};-

    Knight_Aragorn: I like getting into their heads, especially in new and interesting ways. 8-} Interesting that that part in particular stood out to you. Hm. Thank you. @};-

    AvenKiel: LOL, you're absolutely right. ;) I'm glad you could see this happening, and thank you. @};-

    Kazzy: Thanks. :) :) :) I don't like snow either, ick. And he is lucky! 8-}

    Lady-Hermione: Mara's part was supposed to be funny, though not necessarily in a laugh-out-loud kind of way. 8-} You're right, her cursing and berating does come out of a deep caring for Luke - and she'd never admit it. For all that she's so practical and blunt, she can really lie to herself, that girl. Sentimental fuzzies? That's interesting. :D Thank you! @};-

    Ariapaige: Hehe. :p Mara's part is definitely easier to understand, and shows more of her character than Luke's part does of his. I'm glad you liked all the stuff on color and the perception thereof, though. ;) Will it be the last? Who knows? I'm glad you've enjoyed - thank you. @};-

    Jedi-2B: You're right, it is. I tried so many times to get 'Frosty the Jedi' down as a humor story, and it just would not cooperate! [face_insanity]
     
  19. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    I can feel my eyes filling with tears, and I'm glad you're not going to remember this. It always gets your attention. That's why I slap you, you damn fool.


    The power of denial. :p Another winner oboana! :D
     
  20. Leia

    Leia Jedi Grand Master star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 8, 1998
    "Be here."

    But he had left. Before. Anger and no forgiveness leaves quiet.


    I loved this. [face_love]

    Swift and smooth, firm and soft, it should be no more than a transfer of power if one considered the Force to be only that, but it was so much more, and people were more, and this could be like nothing else.

    I heart this as well! [face_love]

    Awesome job, obaona. Luke's confused thinking was perfect. And of course, you've gotta love frantic!Mara. ;)
     
  21. kayladie97

    kayladie97 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2003
    [face_blush] Well, better late than never right? I saw this when you first posted, didn't have time to reply and then I lost track of it. Bad me! :p

    It is the 12th in the series. I am amazed and thrilled that even months after the last one, people still kept asking for another (I'm looking at you, kayladie

    :* I'm lookin' right back at you, oba!

    The Temperature Series still rates as some of my all time favorite fanfics, not just L/M fics, but fics period! I liked this very much, although at first I thought you were doing Luke on Hoth and I was wondering how in the heck you were going to get Mara into that scenario! [face_laugh]

    I liked your use of colors in Luke's POV very much, especially the bit where he sees green and knows for certain that it is Mara that's rescuing him. [face_love]

    I loved Mara's worried, angry rambling SO much! That was very in character for her, to be concerned about him and be mad at him for making her concerned about him. And you still managed to work the slapping theme in there. Very nicely done! :D

    Don't think I'm not gonna still bug you for more, though... ;) :p
     
  22. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    leia_naberrie: Indeed. :p Thank you! :D

    Leia: Thank you. :D @};- That first part from Luke's POV was fun to write - very abstract, about the colors and all. :p I'm glad you liked Mara's part as well. ;) That part was a lot of fun, because channeling angry!Mara is just cool. :cool: Thanks! :D

    kayladie97: I was wondering when you were going to show up. :p

    Wow! [face_blush] One of your favorites? :D Really? :D That's so cool. ;) Luke on Hoth? LOL! :p Yeah, that would have been tricky to manage with Mara involved. :p I kept picturing Luke as a snowman, that's how I came up with this (blame Michele, please).

    The part with the colors was fun. Very different, I surprised even myself, but fun. :D Mara's angry rambling really just came out very easily. The hardest part was fitting in all the dialogue that was from Luke's POV. Of course I had to work the slapping theme in! For the last story? [face_batting]

    You want more? :_| 8-} :p Thank you. [:D] @};-
     
  23. Master_Vicky

    Master_Vicky Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 29, 2003
    That was really cool. (no pun intended) I liked it.
     
  24. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Master_Vicky: Hehehe. :D Thank you. @};-


    [face_coffee]
     
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