The Dark Ages: an insiders story with Member interviews, by Barbra Walters

<< Edit: I forgot to mention, this is purely a humorious thread. No intention of making fun of members is to be had, just sort of what a 20/20 special on the JC might look like. Once again, I'm not making fun, just posting Barbra Walters 20/20 interviews. Enjoy! >>


Hello, I?m Barbra Walters.
Cyberspace, the most immense and world spanning network on the entire globe, capable of downloading internet pornography or buying stocks.
But most commonly used for chatting, chatting with other people, and to some degree, chatting with Star Wars fans, fans who like most want to simply talk about how good Natalie Portman would look in a golden bikini.
But one place had intelligence and persaearance above all else, a place where messages on Star Wars where traded daily, this place is the Jedi Council.
Countless members around the world logged in and talked, about things mostly.
At one point, things where so good that it was referred to as the Golden age.
But tonight we will examine the darkness enfolding the humble message board, the Dark Age.
A time in which junk of every topic and scope is posted with astounding frequency, this is our show tonight on 20/20.

As I logged on to the JC under the name Jedi Walters, a new thought came to my head, why not interview the more prominent and common members of the JC?
Why not scrap my whole interview with Clinton and do a small story about this dismal message board, with questions against such respected members as Epic, and Jotun Denal?
This is our show, so sit back and grab your remote. Tonight is part one of 20/20?s weeklong interviews with the JC and its view on?the Dark Age.

Our first interview is with the administrator of the JC, and all around groovy latex Gonk knight, Yoda the all Powerful?

Barba Walters: Mr. Yoda, you claim to be the most intelegent poster on the entire JC, rather others have given that reputation to you. Do you agree with this title?

YTAP: Enough snake soup have you? Want more do you?

Walters: THE SOUP IS FINE! *Ahem* as I was saying, what is your opinion on the whole dark ages situation?

YTAP: Evil it is?the darkside resides in it. Ban them we could, but then we will have destroyed all for which we have fought and suffered.

Walters: What is wrong with you? Do you have a grammar problem or something?

YTAP: Problem? Heee heee hee! Most on Council would be lucky to have the kind of grammar I do. Teach them we try, Arty Ewok writes up good grammar, but failes he does, fails at teaching the members to speak like 4th graders.
1st grade intelligence most have, little time to type grammar.

Walters: I see? Do you suppose this is a problem at the core of the dark ages?

YTAP: A damn I do not give, funny it is. Laugh we do, laugh at their horrid messages. Funny it is, heee heee.

Walters: You?re just escalating the problem sir, do you not realise that?

YTAP: Do I care? No I don?t, care I do not! Need more soup you do?

Walters: DEAR LORD! NO MORE OF THAT SOUP!

YTAP: Hate it you do?

Walters: NEXT QUESTION! What members are pulling together? What members in your opinion are doing all they can to make the JC a better place, free for all the little kiddies to run and play amongst?

YTAP: None, all bored and not caring they are. Funny it is, drunk as hell some are.

Walters: Ugh?what about the fellow admin, Epic?

YTAP: Good poster he is, admin though? Difficult to see this was, not know did I.

Walters: I see?where have you been? Did you even know that Chyren is back?

YTAP: Know this I did not, not really care did I.

Walters: It is this kind of attitude that is bringing the JC down you know.

YTAP: Heee heee! Funny it is! That face you make, look so pitiful to your young eyes?

Walters: Forget it! This interview is over!

With those final words said, I struck back out into the cold of the council, wishing in my heart for a place to lodge in, a place to call my home for the night. I was granted the passage of bumping into a friendly stranger known as farraday. After much convincing, I prompted farraday int

 

:-D


Good Job man!

 

That was an amazingly good rendition of YTAP.

 

LMFAO!

 

Thanks Jotun!

I thought so too JH...lol

Hey Karrde, thanks for the reply!

Keep an eye out, part 2 tonight: Epic and Jotun Denal.

 

I feel I have inspired this in some way.

*bows to Tellesto*

This was hillarious.

 

I have to admit, you did.
lol
Great, now I'm going to jail for infringing on the Zeny movie copyright.

 

Nah.

I loved it. Although I hate Walters, this was great.

 

LOL!
I dislike her too, but we'll see how she deals with Epic and Jotun...*evil glare*

 

LOl.

 

Hey guys, new post in a few minutes.
Part 2: Epic and Jotun Denal.
I just gotta have a few people proof read it first.

 

<< Hey guys, sorry this took so long. I needed some opinion on the 2nd interview, and the people involved. Hope you enjoy! Once again, no intention of making fun is to be had...well...except towards Barbra Walters >>


Part 2: fear a loathing in the JC.

Interviews: Tellesto, Jotun Denal, and Epic.


Hello, this is Barbara Walters, welcome back to 20/20.
On our last show we had interviews with some of the more prominent members of the JC, who turned out to be total idiots.
But on a new note, our ratings dropped severely, we lost to that peppy teen drama Dawson?s Creek.
Well, I?m not gonna quit now, yeah I?m gonna keep going.
You hear that Cronkite? This is for that damn fruitcake at Christmas last year you Cheep ******!
Go ahead fire me! I?m right here!
*Sniff* On tonight?s show we have Jotun Denal and Epic.

(Man walks up and whispers something muffled in Walters? ear).

What? We have 20 minutes of that Tellesto interview? What the hell is wrong with you editing morons?
Yeah ok fine, its all good.
Well show him first, then Epic and Jotun.

Walters and Tellesto interview: JC Community 10:30 PM, Wednesday.


Walters: So Tellesto, what do you think of this Dark Age.

Tellesto: Its ok, I?m working towards building a better community. A place where cyborg bunnies will rule the day and all will have a free clone of Natalie Portman.

Walters: That?s sick!

Tell: Eh, what are ya gonna do bout it?

Walters: What do you feel, resentment?

Tell: About what?

Walters: Towards your fellow posters.

Tell: What the hell are you trying to pull Walters? Did Cronkite put you up to this?

Walters: Screw it?just forget it.

As you can see, my attempt to pull apart Tellesto and reveal his inner feelings did not go well.
But, I have high hopes for Jotun Denal, another of the JC?s most frequent members.
I?m not gonna comment on his posting, I?m just gonna show you the interview.

Jotun: Woah man?we?re on a soundstage!

Walters: Yes that?s right Jotun. So, what are you?re feelings.

Jotun: Towards what?

Walters: Your fellow posters.

Jotun: The female ones are hot.

Walters: Ok.

Jotun: Impeach Churchill!

Walters: Yeah?great.

Jotun: Another question?now?

Walters: Oh yeah, sure. What do you like to post?

Jotun: Well, mostly threads that make people laugh, and at times threads that make one another post in coherence with one another. What matters in the end are not weather we have 4 stars or even 3. What matters is that we can look into our soul and allow that to flow into our hands, thus writing something truly beautiful about us. In the end is that not what life is about?

Walters: That?s very beautiful Jotun.

Jotun: This is me??> (_I_)


Walters: Right. Anyway, what sort of forums do you post in?

Jotun: Mostly the Community, girls post there. So I figure what the heck.

Walters: I see?

Jotun: You know, that Trika chic?

Walters: yeah?

Jotun: SHE?S MY GIRLFRIEND!

Walters: Great, super.

Jotun: Anyway, as you where saying.

Walters: What members truly inspire you?

Jotun: Well Son of the Suns for one, Zenythus and Big Bad Yoda Daddy. Ummm, Angelic Sith, Jedi Jade, Trika Kenobi.

Walters: I see?what do you think of female posters?

Jotun: I really like them, they have a bright future under the Community, with my guidance of course.

With that I ended the interview, soon Jotun tried to grab my butt.
So I moved on, to the next interview, our humble friend and poster at large, Epic.
Through his daring and inspired posts we see a glimpse of perhaps a future golden era.
We laugh and cry with him, mostly laughing when he falls of his pet Kangaroo.


Walters: Hello Epic.

Epic: Hiya.

Walters: Oh my, this is such a thrill. I can?t believe I?m in the same room as Epic himself!

Epic: You?ll get used to it.

Walters: I suppose.

Epic: You have some questions for me?

Walters: Yes, I do.

Epic: Fire away.

Walters: Ok?umm gee. Would you mind toning down your admin colors, they seem to be dilating my eyes.

Epic: No.

Walt

 

Walters: What about the banning that takes place in that thread, is it ethical?

Epic: Why should I care?

LOL!!

 

Hee heee.

 

LOL--Good stuff! Will there be any interviews with sockpuppets?!!

 

LOL!
No, sorry.
The next interview will be with Modal Nodes Freak and Jedi Master Beal..
I suppose I could make Beal a deranged and poor sockpuppet.

 

Uppers!

 

LOL!
Thanks Jotun, maybe I'll gather the gull to post another interview.

 

Why is it that I always miss the funniest threads?

Great work on this, Tellesto!

 

i didnt even read it.ha ha.

 

Great! How many of these are there going to be?

--Mr. P

 

If I get the gull to make em, two more.
Any suggestions on whom I should tackle next would be welcome!

 

lol!

Interview me!

DarthNut,
the nuttiest guy around.

 

...


Yeah, alright.
You and Zenythus are next up, maybe JEA along.
I'll post it morrow...keep an eye out folks.