The Dark Man (Lame title, I know) JA Updated 10/1

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by KenobisGirl, Sep 28, 2001.

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  1. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Title: The Dark Man
    Author: KenobisGirl
    Rating: PG-13, maybe?
    Timeframe: Obi is 15
    Summary: A familiar character shows up to do some damage on our dear boy... It's just a lame excuse to have some fun with Obi and Qui.
    Disclaimer: Darn! I forgot, I'm not Lucas! I don't have 3 billion dollars in my pocket... Darn! Pretty much everything in this story of mine belongs to that one rich guy... So don't sue! I was really bored...
    Archive: Sure! All ya have to do is ask!
    Feedback: Hmmm, it would be nice!

    Part 1:

    Obi-Wan Kenobi ducked as the other Jedi's lightsaber slashed over his head. For the third time that day, he was battling. His Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, didn't seem to be satified with his fighting skills lately.

    His opponent struck again, and as he blocked the blow, he decided to take the offensive. He leapt high into the air and slashed down as he jumped, but, wearing a blindfold, he missed and landed off balance. His opponent took the adavntage and aimed low with his lightsaber.

    Obi-Wan managed to block it and his adversary was caught off guard. Obi-Wan's strength knocked his opponent to the ground and with a startled cry that sounded familar, the lightsaber flew out of their hand. Obi-Wan thrust his lightsabre down near his opponent's neck and kept it there.

    "Enough! YOu may remove your blindfolds."

    Obi-Wan heard his Master's accented voice from the sidelines. Obi-Wan took off his blindfold and watched as his opponent lifted theirs off their head. It was his best friend, Bant!

    "Good match," she said winking. Obi-Wan nodded, his chest heaving.

    "Come, Padawan," Qui-Gon said, "Master Yoda has a mission for us. We are to investigate rumors of a 'Dark Man' on the planet Zaro. I will fill you in on the preliminaries once we are on our way."

    Obi-Wan nodded, then grinned at Bant. The small Jedi followed his tall Master out of the training room. He fervently wished he could change into a fresh tunic, but his Master seemed to be in a hurry....

    "Uhhh, Master, I know we're in a hurry, but I smell gross..."

    Bant's soft laughter echoed in his ears as he exited the chamber.

    TBC... :D

    ****************************************

    Any questions? Comments? Stuff to throw at me? Let me know! This is my second try at fanfic, so don't be mean... Pweeease? More later, as soon as I can blow up my school and make homework against the law... J/k! More later! Whoa, that's a short post! Sorry!
  2. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
  3. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Well, the word "damage" has caught my attention, so *cough* do your worst!
  4. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Lame title or not must have more and quickly.PEACE Ewen
  5. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Thanx, both of you! :D

    I will write more soon! :D
  6. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    "A familiar character shows up to do some damage on our dear boy"....

    Sounds like a good read to me!!!
  7. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
    hmmm I don't don't know. wwwweeellllll Ok you pulled it out of me


    can you see I'm in a hyper mood?
  8. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
  9. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    Hey I've seen lamer titles :D and this story has caught my intreset so post more please.
  10. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Thanx, Felicia!

    Geeez,I am so POed right now! That "Torture in Fics" is really getting on my nerves! Some people are saying that I'm a bad person and that I shouldn't be reading and writing torture, because I may start doing that myself.... Take a look and support our cause!

    http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=4183289&start=4232642

    Anyways, I am in the process of fixing up the next post, adding stuff, etc. and I should have a post up tonight or tomorrow afternoon. Thanks again for the replies!
  11. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
    I know I sounded really mad when I was posting
  12. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Cheryl, do you mean on the torture fics thread? You should read what I wrote.... Sheesh! I wanted to smack that guy...

    Anyways... Yeah....
  13. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    I went to that thread and I posted my opion! I'm all for tortureing our two favorite jedi!
  14. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Thank you, Felicia!

    I got an apology! Yay!
  15. Jedi-Faith Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 2000
    star 2
    Good start :D More soon?

    I'm not very fond of what's been said at the torture "discussion"... Some of the points brought up are rather irrelevent or blatantly biased and really unfair to authors.

    I honestly hope that it doesn't deter anyone from writing. Keep sharing your talents; we'll keep reading :D
  16. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    I totally agree. I hope authors don't stop writing torture. And you know some of the things we write about like child abuse, rape, ect aren't we as writers reflecting somewhat of the world as it is today and writing about it, making people aware of it is a way of dealing with it. I don't know that was just on my mind and I don't know if it even made sense.
  17. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
    yeah I was talking about that. Man, that guy... I won't say it


    then that person wrote in say if we didn't calm down they would lock it I was about to say "Good! close it!"
  18. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Cheryl- Yeah, same here! "Good riddance! Close the filth!"

    But that person wrote me an apology on e-mail and now she's offering to give me sites w/ Obi torture *Gasp* And I'm thinking, "If you hate torture so much, then why do you know good torture sites? Hmmm." Anyways, I hope everyone had a nice weekend! I'll post tomorrow... I promise! :D

    JediFaith! *Ashley waves enthusiastically* Your site is the best archive for fics! Thanks for the comment!
  19. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Well, here it is! The next post! Goody! I think this one is really iffy. I was in a hurry when I revised it. Anyhow, Enjoy! Thanks so much for your comments!!!! Sorry it's so short!

    *****************************

    Their ship, the Crystal, was large and luxurious. There were many rooms to explore and lots of entertainment for the restless. Obi-Wan vowed to visit every single one of the game rooms before the end of their 3- day trip.

    After each visit to a room, the young Padawan always found himself being chased by about a dozen screaming, giggling young girls.

    After Obi-Wan had narrowly escaped another gang of flirty females of all species and ages, he ran into the quarters he shared with his Master. The young Jedi swiftly locked the door and leaned against it, sighing with relief.

    His Master?s softly accented voice came from the small bedroom.

    ?Having a bit of a problem, Padawan??

    ?Oh, Master, you wouldn?t believe!?

    *********************************************

    Obi-Wan sat on his sleepcouch, staring out his portal window. He heard a knock at his door.

    "Come in,? he called. Qui-Gon stepped into the room.

    "We are due to land in 15 minutes. You should get packed,"

    "All right," Obi-Wan answered, still staring out the window.

    "Is something troubling you, Padawan?" Obi-Wan turned around to look at him and Qui-Gon could see that his green eyes were troubled.

    "I have a bad feeling about this mission; I can't quite figure it out."

    *********************************************

    The two Jedi stepped off the landing platform and onto the planet Zaro. Zaro appeared to be a small planet, it?s inhabitants were mostly humans.

    A small, round man met them at the landing platform. He stepped forward eagerly.

    "I am honored to meet you, Jedi!" He said, shaking their hands excitedly.

    "I am Qui-Gon Jinn and this is my Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi,? Qui-Gon replied.

    "Call me Joff,? he replied, still brimming with excitement. Joff's smile may have been welcoming, but Obi-Wan didn't like the feelings the Force was giving off.

    "Follow me to your quarters, they're not far,"

    On the way to their quarters, Obi-Wan noticed how bare and deserted the planet was. Obi-Wan could see a few abandoned warehouses in the distance.

    "Ah, here we are,? Joff, said, interrupting his thoughts. They had arrived at a large, stone fort.

    Then Joff left them.

    "Have a nice day,? he said pleasantly over his shoulder.

    TBC... :D
  20. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Ummm, UP? No readers? *Wail!* Was it that bad? *Sob*

    One question, does anyone know how to change the subject line to say "Updated 10/1"? Lemme know!

    I need feedback!!!!! :D
  21. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
  22. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Well, it wasn't -bad-, but it wasn't ... you know ... Obi-Torture.

    And as to showing the update in the title, I think you have to click on the first post to edit it, then edit the subject line.
  23. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
    Girls hah hah hah you would see me in that group
  24. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
    Oh mind if I can get those sites from ya? :D
  25. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Thanks, Jane!

    Cheryl,
    I never got those sites from that person... Hmmm... I'm gonna go bug 'em about it!

    More later! :D

    I would be the leader of those groups of girls! Hehe... ;)
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