Beyond - Legends The Death of Tsavong Lah (humor)

Yeah. Spoilers for Destiny's Way.


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They found him in the living room, sitting on the couch. "Um, Tsavong," Lord Shimrra began, "we have some unfortunate news..."

Tsavong Lah, the renowned and feared warmaster, glared up from the teddy bear held in his arms. "What could be possibly be worse than Mr. Snuggles losing his rear end?"

"Well, we were reading this book, see..." Shedao began.

"Destiny's Way, to be precise," Nom Anor added.

"...And it seems that..."

With an angry sigh, Vua Rapuung thrust the open book into Tsavong's hands. "Read it for yourself, you halfwit."

Tsavong blinked, took the book, and began to peruse the pages.

Three minutes later, a wail went up through the house, an unearthly shriek that never was and never will be heard by humanity ever again. Dogs barked, children screamed, civilians ran for their lives, and the occupants of the house flooded into the living room to attempt to call the hysterical warmaster.

"It's okay, Tsavvy," Vader said, patting Tsavong on the shoulder. "It's only a book after all."

Through tear-filled eyes, Tsavong managed to glare at Jaina. "It's all her fault, by golly!"

Anakin, however, was grinning from ear to ear, along with Chewbacca and Shedao Shai. "Welcome to the club!"

"But you three had worthy deaths! Honorable ones, where the author elaborated dramatically! And I, Tsavong Lah, one of the greatest leaders of the Yuuzhan Vong military, receive nothing more than 'Jaina stabbed him in the throat. He died.'" Tsavong sniffed indignantly.

"There there, dear," Padmé said, patting the top of his head. "You're the fourth one here to die and live through it."

"Seven, actually," Luke spoke up. "No wait, eight. Um, nine..."

"In the New Jedi Order series, silly," Padmé snapped. "Now, Mr. Lah... when we fall off the horse, what do we do?"

Tsavong sniffled. "Hug our teddy bear?"

Padmé sighed. "Close enough. You'll be fine, dear. Trust me."

"Will I be able to hang out with the homies when I'm who-knows-how-old like you?"

Padmé blinked, forcing a smile. "If you want to, I suppose..."

"YAY!"

As Tsavong skipped out of the living room merrily, and the rest of the household returned to whatever they were doing beforehand, no one heard the last thing Padmé muttered under her breath:

"Heaven forbid that boy is alive long enough to even have homies..."

 

LOL! Poor Tsavong, wonder how he'll feel when Jaina pops up. I'm sure one of the rejects would be thrilled to get close enough to her to have a knife\lightsaber\fork or whatever put in their throat by her.

 

MUAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA ~! I love it!

Tsavong Lah, the renowned and feared warmaster, glared up from the teddy bear held in his arms. "What could be possibly be worse than Mr. Snuggles losing his rear end?"

That's my favorite. *cackles*

 

Anakin, however, was grinning from ear to ear, along with Chewbacca and Shedao Shai. "Welcome to the club!" Ohhh yeah, baby. I was waitin' for that. Ah, good ol' Tsavong...sheesh, he wasn't gushing over Mr. Snuggles in every line! Whodathunkit.

 

ROTFLM*AO!!!!!!!!'


that was hilarious!

 

OMG, lol. I don't know who I pity more, Padme, or Tsavvy!

 

Luney: Yes, the Rejects would be masochistic enough...

Tenel-Ka: Why thank you! The idea of a hideous warmaster with a teddy bear has always been somewhat of an obsession of mine.

Sebbums: Tsavong had his own rear end to worry about to gush over Mr. Snuggles in this case.

JAGSGURL: Thank you!

Jaina_Solo: Pity them both. And also pray that they don't kill each other.

 

::laughs::

Pretty awesome.

 

Wonder how the supreme overlord would react to his death. Great story. Just what I needed.

 

Priceless

 

ROTFLMAO! Only you would come up with something as twisted as this, Fruity. But then, I suppose I need only look at the various entries in the S/S saga to know how twisted things can get. I wnder what the Supreme Overlord's reaction to The Unifying Force would be...



Force be with you,

Tych_sel