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Before - Legends The Disabilities Challenge Entries

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Idrelle_Miocovani, Aug 11, 2005.

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  1. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Feb 5, 2005
    Here you will find entries for [link=]The Disabilities Challenge[/link].

    [b]The Challenge[/b]

    Write a fic, any length, any form, any board, any character, that deals with disabled people ?human or non-human. Their disabilities can be birth defects, or they can be gained later in life after an accident. The disabilities can also be either physical or mental. If they are mentally disabled please do not called them ?retarded? or any other harmful words associated with those who are mentally handicapped.

    The characters can be either OC or canon ? you could write a fic about Padmé being severely harmed and breaking her spinal cord, becoming paralyzed.

    The disabilities have to be very severe if they are physical ? examples are total blindness, total deafness, loss of most of the senses, parallelization etc. You can use spina biffida and cerebral palsy of examples of birth defects.


    An important note: the challenge has changed a bit -- it is now a group of challenges. The second challenge is now up. Please see the Disabilities Challenge thread in Resource for more details. :)

  2. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Feb 5, 2005
    Here's a started one for the Before the Saga. I've never posted a fic here before; hope you like this one. It's very AU.



    His face was laced with many red slits and cuts that are oozing yellowish-white pus. His eyes were reduced to two puffy, black-and-blue slits and the side of his nose was squashed into his face and blotted with a mass of dried blood. His legs were crumpled and deformed ? a jagged piece of white bone had pierced his kneecap and rose out like a dagger plunged through the back of his leg. It was a grisly sight. Beneath the many slashes and cuts, his skin was nothing more than a blackened and bruised hide that sported large, thumb-sized swellings. Inside those swellings bubbled a life-threatening poison.

    Qui-Gon Jinn stood worriedly beside the table, anxiously peering at his Padawan?s face, searching for signs of life. There were none.

    He glanced at the medical droid at his elbow. His face had a bleached look.

    ?Is there any hope for him?? he asked quietly.

    The medical droid?s voice was mournful. ?There is, if we act quickly. Those swellings must be sliced open and the poison drained ? otherwise, he will die.?

    Master Jinn turned away from the droid and looked at his inert Padawan. He couldn?t stand to see him like that ? he had been like the son he had never had, and it was his fault Obi-Wan was in this state.

    His Padawan was moved into surgery. Qui-Gon watched unflinchingly as the swellings were sliced open and greenish liquid rushed out. The poison was quickly caught and the Jedi Master shuddered as he thought of the state Obi-Wan was in.

    This was all his fault. If he hadn?t insisted on taking the mission, they would never have run into those monsters on Illysis. They had both received wounds, but Obi-Wan was now perhaps dying and all Qui-Gon had received were a few gashes from the monsters? claws that had been treated easily enough.

    Hours after the surgery to remove the poison from Obi-Wan?s body, Qui-Gon sat in the recovery room, waiting for a report from the medical team. When the droids approached him, demanded to know immediately his Padawan?s condition.

    ?He is alive,? the first medical droid said quickly, ?and in stable condition.?

    Qui-Gon breathed a sigh of relief.

    ?But he will be changed forever, Master Jedi,? the droid continued.

    ?What do you mean?? Qui-Gon asked.

    ?The poison leaked into his brain and has deteriorated the nervous system. Luckily, we managed to extract it before it caused anymore damage that would result in death, but he is paralyzed, he doesn?t know who he is and he will never be able to talk again.?

    Qui-Gon turned away, aghast. He couldn?t believe it.


    Though Obi-Wan was now severely handicapped and damaged beyond repair, he was still Qui-Gon?s Padawan. Though he would never be able to learn anything from Qui-Gon again, the Jedi Master was committed to looking after him for the rest of his life.

    They returned to the Jedi Temple and Master Yoda immediately attempted to revive Obi-Wan through the Force, but he could not make a connection. Shaking his green head, Yoda calmly addressed Qui-Gon.

    ?Grievously injured, he is,? the little, old Jedi Master said.

    ?Then there is nothing we can do for him?? Qui-Gon asked uneasily.

    Yoda shook his head. ?No, there is not. His abilities to use the Force, abandoned him they have. No connection can be made. Unique, this is.?

    ?Master,? Qui-Gon said, pained, ?if there is nothing we can do for him ? I will look after him. It is my duty.?

    Yoda nodded slowly. ?Indeed, it is.?

    The first few days, Qui-Gon was unable to make any contact with his Padawan. Through the tiny slits in his puffed-up eyes, Obi-Wan observed him, his head drooping on his chest. Working with him day and night, Qui-Gon eventually managed to find a way to communicate with him and slowly, they created a kind of sign language that was helped along by Qui-Gon?s words and Obi-Wan?s slurred moans.

    The years passed and all Qui-Gon could ever do was look after his Padawa
  3. FelsGoddess

    FelsGoddess Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Sep 5, 2004
    a jagged piece of white bone had pierced his kneecap and rose out like a dagger plunged through the back of his leg. It was a grisly sight. OUCH! I've got bad knees. I'm feeling phantom pains.

    =D= I'm glad Qui-Gon stayed with him.
  4. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Feb 5, 2005
    Thanks, FelsGoddess! [:D]

    I hope to see more responses in Before soon!

    ::runs back to the awards::
  5. obscurity

    obscurity Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 6, 2005
    That was truly a very unique story. Sad, but...

    Gee, I loved it. :_| You should take this idea and expand it, I think, turn it into a three-part short story... show us some in-depth moments between the two of them.

    So sad. In-character, too. Vague, but perfectly so, and it doesn't sound incomplete.

    Impressive, Id.
  6. Krayus_Korianis

    Krayus_Korianis Jedi Master star 1

    Jul 22, 2005
    Breathtaking, it pained me to picture Ewan Mcgregor in EP 1 looking like that=D=
  7. Kudzu

    Kudzu Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 18, 2005
    Title: I Didn't Want to Stop the Music

    Author: Kudzu

    Timeframe: Pre-TPM

    Characters: Anakin Skywalker, OCs

    Genre: Philosophy

    Summary: In innocence, there is also purpose. A blind singer's philosophy on life and his experience with a small slave boy that would one day become the second-most powerful man in the galaxy.

    Disclaimer: Unofficial, Anakin Skywalker character property of Lucasfilm, etc etc.

    Epigraphs: "Time may change me / But I can?t trace time" - David Bowie, ?Changes?
    "My gift is my song, yeah / This one?s for you" - Elton John, ?Your Song?

    In memoriam of Ray Charles, a true American hero.


    It was dark; it was always dark, and if it wasn?t, how could Raan Bucahr ever tell?

    Blind since early childhood, Raan had nonetheless developed a keen proficiency for two things: philosophy, which was almost in no way hindered by his condition; and music, which was slightly more challenging considering his lack of sight. But the two talents blended well, and Raan soon found himself a band.

    Tonight?s gig was on some Outer Rim dustball called Tatooine. Raan had never heard of the planet before and he didn?t expect to ever hear about it again. But these were his clients - a Hutt named Gardulla and her guests - and apparently, they were throwing some big party as a fundraiser.

    And so, as Raan had learned to do as someone very young, he just sang.

    He sang from his heart and from his soul. He played his handheld, keyed opisaln and the [i]thrum[/i] of its notes burned the air around him, filling it with some great and wondrous energy and power. This was music the way Raan played it, and this was the way that he saw.

    He sang of the injustices of the galaxy: from difficulties with women to the oppression of corrupt governments. He sang of all these injustices, but he never mentioned his blindness. He lived with it. He had been coping with it for too long to ever lament it - and in some ways, the only injustice was that not everyone could see the world as he did, not through sightless eyes but through music and through the harmonically attuned ear.

    Life was different for someone like Raan Bucahr. He?d always known it. Some might say that he walked through life as if it were a dream, carefree and casual.

    Raan knew better. He had dealt with life as anyone else at the age of five would, and life had decided that living normally was too easy a thing for him. His blindness had been a challenge and a hurdle. He had overcome.

    Now life was different. Life would always be different, and his vision was all the clearer for understanding this. He was to be, and not to want. His family hadn?t been able to afford optical implants when life stole away his natural eyesight at age six. It had been fifteen years before he could even dream of having enough money to spend on them.

    It was five years after that point, and Raan Bucahr had grown so used to his life as it was that he didn?t care to [i]want[/i] anything else. [i]Whatever else[/i] came, as it did with any person in the galaxy - but he chose to let it come naturally.

    ?You live in your own little world,? someone once informed him. ?You are absorbed in your own doings and your own thoughts and feelings.?

    It might have been true. But somehow, Raan Bucahr expressed these things in his song and his music. They must have brought joy to people as they brought self-interest and wonder to his own self, or he wouldn?t be here today.

    And Force, he wanted to be here today! Anywhere that he could sing a note or play a tune - because for him, that was what life was. He occupied himself with it even when there wasn?t an audience watching - and maybe there was, because if Raan was in his music, how would he ever know? When he sang and when he played, his own music filled his ears.

    It was the greatest feeling in the world.

    There had been one incident where he had simply gone somewhere and decided to begin singing. And then he had began playing, and his music flowed from him as it rarely ever did, so>
  8. Commander-DWH

    Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus star 4

    Nov 3, 2003
    Kudzu, I reiterate my love for your piece.

    And now here's mine, a KOTOR-era interaction mainly between Carth Onasi and my OC, Leiraya Moran. Dedicated to my good friend Lauren, who was, without a doubt, the inspiration for this piece, and is an inspiration to me. :)


    No Such Thing as a Partial Person

    It all started when Carth heard a muffled cry coming from the general direction of the ?fresher.

    He hopped out of his seat and quickly made his way towards the source of the sound. He swung open the ?fresher door, only to find Leiraya crumpled in a heap on the ground, face screwed up in pain, holding her left knee. The shower was still running, and a trail of soap ran from her hair to the drain. She looked up when she heard him come in, and he could see she was doing her best to hold back the tears.

    ?What happened??

    She took a ragged breath. ?My knee? it went out? I need to get ice on it, but I can?t get up??

    ?Here, let me help.? He grabbed the robe she had left lying nearby and handed it to her to put on. She quickly wrapped it around herself, and tried to stand. She could only put weight on her right leg, however, and she couldn?t catch her balance. She managed to grab the wall before she went all the way down, but it took Carth pulling her upright to get her back into a normal position. Reaching down carefully, he scooped her legs up and carried her out of the ?fresher.

    Bastila ran up to them. ?What?s going on??

    ?I?ve got a slight knee problem,? Leiraya tried to say lightly, but it was impossible to miss the strain on her voice. ?Knight in Shining Armour over here is just giving me a lift.?

    ?Slight problem?? Bastila raised an eyebrow. ?Do I want to know how not slight it is??

    Leiraya grimaced. ?Probably not.?

    ?Right.? Bastila nodded. ?Well? do you need anything for it??

    ?Something cold. Preferably something I can wrap around it.?

    ?I?ll see what I can do.? She scurried off to see what the ship?s medkits had stocked.

    Carth carried Leiraya back to her bunk, and set her down as gently as he could manage. She still winced in pain, but to her credit, she didn?t make any cracks about it. She simply grabbed her pillow and put it under her knee, then lay back and let the tears run silently down her cheeks. Bastila strode purposefully into the room moments later, cold compress in hand.

    ?Thank you,? Leiraya said gratefully, gingerly placing it on her knee. Her breath caught and she closed her eyes for a moment, then she sighed. ?Thank you.?

    ?It was not a problem.? Bastila stood for an awkward moment. She had not yet managed to get along with the other woman, but it was also not her practice to be rude to an injured person. ?Do? do you need me to help with anything??

    ?No, I?m fine, thanks.? Leiraya simply held the compress in place.

    ?Well, then? I guess I?ll be back later to see how you?re doing.? With a small smile, she turned and exited the room.

    Carth watched her exit, then looked back at Leiraya. ?So? what exactly did happen??

    Leiraya took a deep breath. He was not going to like this. ?My knee? has issues.?

    ?Issues? What kind of issues??

    ?It?s a birth defect.? She sighed heavily. ?The groove where your kneecap is supposed to fit in? Well, I don?t have one. The joint is in pretty bad shape, in spite of all the Healers? efforts. The only way to fix it is to get a replacement knee. But they only last for a good 10 years, so I?m too young to get one.?

    ?And it just happens to go out. At random.?

    She shrugged. ?More or less. I can keep it under control most of the time, but this time it decided to go out rather spectacularly.?

    Carth just sat there for a minute before speaking. ?And when were you planning on letting us know about this??

    ?Well?? she trailed off, not really having an answer. ?I guess I was hoping it wouldn?t come up.?

    ?That?s an awful lot of hope to stake a mission on.?

    ?Hey now,? Leiraya sat up on one elbow defensively. ?First of a
  9. Kudzu

    Kudzu Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 18, 2005
    Aww, that was sweet. Carth's like a nice-guy Han Solo. I love it. =D=
  10. VadersMistress

    VadersMistress Jedi Knight star 6

    Apr 7, 2004
    Idrelle: Wonderful job! I really love the whole idea (my brother is disabled). A very interesting and superb piece.

    Kudzu: =D= Great job! A wonderful entry.

    Commander-DWH: Wow. A fabulous piece!

    Fantastic job, guys! Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to more great entries. =D=
  11. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Feb 5, 2005
    Kudzu: Wonderful!

    Commander-DHW: Brilliant work!

  12. Krayus_Korianis

    Krayus_Korianis Jedi Master star 1

    Jul 22, 2005
    All awesome pieces of work.=D=
  13. JOINME

    JOINME Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 25, 2005
    wonderful stories!

    Very very impressive, and very original.

    Really enjoyed reading. :)
  14. Renton Kenobi

    Renton Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    May 24, 2000
    Here is my entry for the challenge.


    Title: If I Ever Leave This World Alive -AU
    By: Renton Kenobi

    Disclaimer: Lucas owns Star Wars and I don't. The group Flogging Molly owns the song "If I Ever Leave This World Alive," no copyright infringement is intended on either part.

    Summary: In the end, Qui-Gon remembered the love he had for them both.

    Author's Note: Okay the time frame would be two years before TPM, so Obi-Wan would be roughly 23 as is Anen. If you haven't read my AU fic entitled Secrets Kept, Anen is the child of Qui-Gon Jinn. And so no one is confused when Anen is addressed as "Butterfly," it is her nickname given to her in the events of Secrets Kept.

    Rating: PG

    Dedication: In loving memory of my Grandmother who passed away from Alzheimer's Disease three years ago.


    My own father doesn?t even know my name.

    To look at him you wouldn?t know how sick he was. He looked as he always had to me, it was only when he spoke to you did you fully understand what was wrong with him. The day he told me and Obi-Wan what was going to happen to him plays over and over again in my head.. The disease wasn?t uncommon, it was a disorder called Neuro-deterioration. The disease is characterized by the progressive intellectual deterioration which leads to amnesia, loss of movement, and of recognition. The deterioration of Qui-Gon?s mind would eventually lead to his death. Obi-Wan did not take well to the news that Qui-Gon gave the two. He stormed out of the quarters, not wanting to accept the fact that in a few years the closest thing he would ever have as a father may not even remember Obi-Wan ever being a part of his life. I remember when the door slid shut behind Obi-Wan; my father broke down in tears and asked me to sit next to him. Sitting next to him he grabbed my hand and told me something that I will never forget.

    ?Anen I this is going to be hard on you both. I know that,? as I reached up with my other hand and wiped his tears away he said softly. ?But know that I may not remember your name or why you are in my life. My love for you and Obi-Wan will never go away. Just know that to the end I will love you both very much.? As he finished I wrapped my arms around my father?s massive shoulders and consoled him as he did for me so many times before.

    When it started taking hold of him, it was just as if he was being a little forgetful. Not remembering where something was located, where he had placed a data pad, and so on. But as the months fell off the calendar my father?s mind slowly went until one day he freaked when Obi-Wan and I entered his living quarters.

    He thought we were there to rob him.

    Every child understands that one day they will become a care giver to their parents. But never in my wildest dreams would I have to explain to my father who I was every day.

    I came to visit him every day. Obi-Wan came to see him as often as he could between missions. He had been knighted before the disease took total hold of my father. I could still see the tears running down my fathers face as he cut his apprentice?s braid from behind his ear. Partially from the pride, partially by the understanding that within the year he would not remember this day or Obi-Wan. It was hard for Obi-Wan to see Qui-Gon like this, but he kept hold of his composure in front of him, not wanting to upset him or me. Some days I think he is getting better, knowing that it is only a comforting lie I am telling myself to help me through the really hard days. Once when I came to visit him he called me by mother?s name, mistaking me for my mother who died when I was just an infant. I didn?t correct him, it was the first day he had smiled since we put him in the care of the healers. Most days were spent in silence, others he asked me about everything. Knowing as the months pressed on our time together grew short, I cherished every moment with him. The good and the bad. As I walk into his room this morning I find him sitting in a hover chair watching the traffic outside. Alice, the healer aid that sh
  15. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    Idrelle,Kudzu,Commander-DWH, and Renton Bravo to all the authors for coming up with such diverse and well done pieces for this challenge! =D=
  16. JOINME

    JOINME Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 25, 2005
    Fantastic addition to the challenge Renton! =D=

    It was very sad :(, but very heartwarming and touching.:_|

    It's the love that lives on... :)
    You really captured their different emotions wonderfully.

  17. Renton Kenobi

    Renton Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    May 24, 2000
    Thanks! I'm actually really tempted to take that story and make a full length out of it. To really capture all the emotions you do go through when a family member has alzheimers, would be for great character development. ^_^
  18. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Feb 9, 2002
    Oh man these are so good, I may have to give this a shot as well.

    Renton: Yours was positivly heart breaking! *sniff* loved it though
  19. Renton Kenobi

    Renton Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    May 24, 2000
    Thanks Arwen :)
  20. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Beautiful and heart-wrenching, as we always expect from you, Renton. :):(
  21. LilQui-Gon

    LilQui-Gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 29, 2004
    OMG Renton! I actually cried. :_| I really loved it. [face_love] But still... :_|
  22. Renton Kenobi

    Renton Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    May 24, 2000
    Thank you! :)
  23. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Feb 5, 2005
    Oh wow... that was beautiful, Renton Kenobi! ::sniff::
  24. Force-sensitiveLyn23

    Force-sensitiveLyn23 Jedi Master star 1

    Aug 27, 2005
  25. Force-sensitiveLyn23

    Force-sensitiveLyn23 Jedi Master star 1

    Aug 27, 2005
    Here's mine.


    As long as Asha could remember, she had been different. She had distant memories as a baby of people coming to her house, strange people, with bulging bags of medicines and cures. But they never worked. Now, 13 years old, Asha knew what was wrong with her. She had diabetes. She knew that whenever her friends had Figda candy, she couldnt have any. She knew that she had to give herself shots twice a day, and check her urine to make sure it didnt have any signs of illness. But that never stopped Asha from doing anything. She was Force sensitive, a Jedi padawan. Hardly anyone knew about her illness, not even her master. In fact, the only person that knew was her best friend, Camille. And now Asha was going on her first mission. She was so exicited!! But if course, she hid it, as a good Jedi would. But when the council had called her and her new master into the council room, she had barely been able to contain her happiness. Now she was getting ready to climb into the Senate transport that would take her to the planet of Collery. In Collery, there was civil war. The two tribes, the Ca's and the Li's, were fighting over a piece of land. For many years, they had lived peacefully but seperatly in different ends of the planet. But there was a piece in the middle that they shared, and they both wanted it!! Asha, her master, and 2 other Jedi teams boarded the transport.

    When they arrived in Collery, the first thing they did was meet up with there informer, Mikka Leyah. She was one of the few peace activists fighting for peace on this planet. Then they decided to walk around and see what the situation was. They split up into 3 teams of masters and padawans. As they walked around without their masters, the padawans walked straight into the middle of a fight between members of the 2 tribes. Quickly they drew there lightsabers and tried to make peace. In all the excitement, Asha forget to give herself the insulin shot she needed. Finally they realized they would not be able to make peace by themselves. So they got out their ComLinks and contacted their masters. They tried several times but it wasn't working. So they went back in the fight and began to break up the fighting men by using their lightsabers. By the time they got them all split up, they were exhausted. As they countinued to walk through the dying city of CAha, they witnessed and helped to break up several other fights. Asha was so tired she thought she would die. They walked another step and ran into a platoon of fighter droids. They got out their sabers and started to deal with them. It was hard work. Asha was a great fighter and took out 2 droids in 2 shot. Then she fell to the ground, panting.

    Her fellow padawans rushed to surround her. The 2 of them managed to finish off the rest of the droids. Then they tried again to contact there masters and the temple. Finally, they got it to work. 30 minutes later, the masters rushed up to where she was laying. Siar Lo, a good healer, bent over her and started to see what was wrong. She asked what was wrong but Asha couldnt speak. " Let's get her to the temple'. When they arrived, 12 hours later, Asha was barely breathing. " Please be okay". But none of the medics could figure out what was wrong with her. Finally Camille rushed into the room. " I know whats wrong with her". When the medics asked why, she replied breathlessly " Well Asha told me not to tell but she's gonna die. She has diabetes. She must have not taken her shots!! If she dosen't get some sugar in her body now she will die!!". They medics quickly walked around the Temple looking for sugar. The only person who had any Figda candy was one of her worst enimies. she refused ti guve the candy until she heard that unless she got the candy, Asha would die!! She hated Asha but she didnt want her to die. When Asha got the candy her breathing resumed but she was so weak she couldn't get up. When everyone was gone from her room her master came in. " Asha why didnt you tell me??". " Asha started to cry, whi
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