JCC The Elevator Thread: 1 person gets out alive

Are you calling them fat?

 

She has fat bewbz.

 

No, just talking about the elevator.

 

If Guy ever even had the upper hand he'd probably realize that put him in a position of totally unjustifiable dominance and promptly give up. i_d's got this in the bag.

 

Literally not one person says Even might be able to kill Kendra.



Even's carcass - to the bottom of the elevator shaft! And Kendra goes to the Grand Lobby At the Center of All Elevators, to await another elevator death match.

The next match-up: tom and Ghost, in a rickety, 40-year old elevator with a flickering ceiling light. Who survives?!

 

Ghost is caught summer dreaming by the flickering light. Sensing an opportunity, tom busts out his rap skills, which he uses with lethal efficiency.

 

tom would win. He would strangle Ghost to death with a wry smile, and fascinated eyes as he watched the life force drain away. He would also get an erection.

 

Yeah, there's no way that tom doesn't come out the victor here, given his considerable charm (which could be used for evil in this elevator of DOOM) & mic skills.

 

tom wins.

 

Tom for President

 

Hooray for Tom!

 

I see that I died without being able to defend myself. *sigh* Oh well.

 

Way to give Zapdos more fodder.

 

Summer LOSER

 

Another unanimous decision! tom raps Ghost to an early grave at the bottom of the elevator shaft.

Now for the next match-up: solojones and Sith-Lord-Gunray, stuck in an empty cargo elevator for 96 hours before someone emerges when the doors finally open. Who is it?!

 

"Hi, I'm Rachel -- pleased to mee---"
"I SET A FIRE IN YOUR FLESH!!!"

//lights her up

 

SLG would win, but would take three weeks to slowly, slowly, slowly kill sj off. Not because she couldn't do it more quickly; but because making it last and making it hurt are more enjoyable to her.

And she'd enjoy every minute.

And that's why we need moar SLG.

 

SLG grabs SJ by the hair and smashes her face into the the lift wall repeatedly, continuing long after Rachel is dead, her face a pulpy mess, and echoes of her teeth hitting the ground still fill the air. The entire time SLG has a grin on her face and down south it's like Niagara falls.

 

I'll say this for solojones' chances: if she could write, envision a scenario to which she'd be the victor, then she's got a chance.

 

Except SLG would use either pen or keyboard to end SJ the second she started on it.

I don't think you understand, Tunes. SLG will **** you up.

 

SLG can filet a b/t¢h in 4 words or less.

 

Ender Sai No, old bean, I understand perfectly: given that this is an obvious hypothetical situation, all I said that there's a chance of that particular scenario playing out, a chance that for whatever reason, SLG's off her game, and thus giving solojones just enough time to make that scenario possible. A chance isn't an absolute certainty, bonehead. Perhaps I could have fully implied that, but given the nature of these hypothetical scenarios, you run the risk overthinking things via a lengthy post, as is the case with my rebuttal here.