Beyond - Legends The Emipre's Hand

Here's another awful fan fic I wrote a year ago- Hand of the Empire. R&R it here, or PM me a review. Well, here it is.

STAR WARS
THE EMPIRE?S HAND
BY YODAMAN

AFTER THE NEW REPUBLIC AND THE GALACTIC EMPIRE HAVE REACHED PEACE, A NEW ENEMY ARRISES. GAGELIC PALPATINE, THE SON OF EMPOROR PALPATINE, HAS STARTED A REBELLION AGAINST THE NEW REPUBLIC, CALLED THE HAND OF THE EMPIRE?
IT IS A RUMOR THAT THE HAND OF THE EMPIRE HAS MADE A CLONE ARMY THAT IS MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY STORMTROOPER AND BATTLE DROID ARMY, AND IS READY TO TAKE ON THE NEW REPUBLIC, BUT THE NEW REPUBLIC DECLARES IT AS JUST A RUMOR AND NOTHING MORE?
EX-REBEL GENERAL, LUKE SKYWALKER, HAS JOINED HIS FRIENDS CHEWBACCA, LANDO CALRISIAN, MARA JADE SKYWALKER AND THE SOLO FAMILY IN AN ATTEMPT TO DESTROY THE EMPIRE?S HAND, BUT THEY WILL FIND MORE TROUBLES THAN MEETS THE EYE?
CHAPTER ONE
THE DOOM SUN
Gagelic Palpatine went to the Doom Sun, a battle station the size of the Death Star. It was also an orbiting city for Imperial citizens. He wanted to see if the station was fully operational. Almost everyone in the Hand of the Empire was scared of him, especially because he wore Darth Vader?s armor. When he got to the station, he had a private meeting with his second-in-command, Kir Kanos.
?Is my Doom Sun ready, yet??, said Gagelic, while making his Darth Vader breathing noise.
?It is?, said Kanos, ?but I have a plan. We will hide it from all Rebel intelligence by destroying Rebel intelligence- on Courasant, home-world of the New Republic.?
?But we need to test it on a planet?, said Gagelic.
?I have a plan for that too, Gagelic?, said Kanos. ? We can test it on Tattoine. Most of the Rebel scum there are top officials, responding to the accident we caused. It will be perfect, and I caused the radiation leak just for this purpose.?
?I like it?, said Gagelic. ?We should send an army of Clone Troopers to Tattoine to keep them busy. From now on, Kannos, call me DARTH PALPATNE!
************************************************************************
Luke was on Tattoine, speeding in a landspeeder. He was on his way to Mos Eisly on a very important mission to the New Republic: to evacuate Tattoine for terraforming, due to a global radiation leak. When he got there he saw his friend Han Solo, doing his job of watching the evacuation. His sons, Jacen, Jaina and Anakin Solo were on a mission to help them find someone with lots of ships who would help them, since they didn?t have a lot of ships. C-3P0 was controlling ground traffic with his droid pals, R2-D2 and K-3P0. Princess Leia Organa Solo was talking to the Falleen governor of Tattoine, Olag Ulaik.
?How?s things been going??, said Luke.
?The same?, said Han Solo, ?we?re getting 5,000 people out in 30 minutes?.
?How many people have you got out in total??, said Luke.
?We?ve gotten out 120,000 people out in 5 days?, said Han, ?but that?s only 1/100th of the population, and at the rate we?re going, that?ll take a 1.3 years, and we only have a month left to do it.?
?You should tell these statistics to Leia and Olag.? When they told Leia and Olag, they were shocked.
?We?re using all the transports we?ve got?, said Leia, ?we need more.?
?I don?t have any?, said Olag, ?because we Tattoine?s a scattered planet, and there is no military. We need a race that could help us out with this transportation stuff?. Then, a swoop gang came and trashed a place. They killed a couple of Rodians, ripped off Leia?s shirt, and set a transport on fire. Then, a man with armor came in on a swoop with an ASP-7 droid.
?Guys?, said the masked man, ?it?s about time you paid for your crimes.?
?Not at the handssssss of you, sssssisssssssy!?, said one of the swoopers. Then, the masked man shot two of them at the same time (he had 2 blasters in his hand). Then, the ASP shot the remaining biker with the machine guns on his swoop.
?Thanks?, said Han, ?but who are you?? Then the masked man took off his mask, revealing who he was.
?I am Jax Doxen?, said the man, ?and this is my droid, Flipper.
?Hi?, said Flipper.

 

Whaddya mean, "awful?" This had good dialogue. I'll keep reading.

 

Upping this because I want more.