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Beyond - Legends The Empie's Revenge (Part I, Chapter I)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Bravo, May 2, 2003.

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  1. Bravo

    Bravo Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Sep 10, 2001
    Infomations: Hello. I am new at the Fan Fic boards and although I have been writting Fan Fics for about three years, I have had no success. Each Fan Fic I create has parts of the old Fan Fics, some starting from my first Fan Fic.

    I will say that The Empire's Revenge is the best Fan Fic thus far that I have had. Unlike my other Fan Fics, it looks like this one may be completed. I will say that Part I is dragged out and goes on and on. But, this is due to two main reasons. First, I had to set the background for the rest of the story. And secondly, it was my fist Fan Fic I have done in a while. I have started on Part II and I will say Part II is much better then Part I. This is due to the fact that I was able to slow down and since the background was set, I was able to write more freely and more like I wanted to.

    Unlike some other Fan Fic and professional authors, I write without a set plot. This means, what ever comes to mind gets written down. This has it's ups and downs. It's good because it makes the story, in some ways, unpredictable (sp?) for both the readers and the author. It is bad that without a set plot, the story is very hard for the author to write and in some places, the story does not make sense. So, in Part I and starting as a firm base, I am starting to have some plot and some goal for the story. Like I said, Part II should be better then Part I, but, this does not mean Part I is teriable (sp?).

    Name Error: There is a name error in Part I and in the first 10 chapters or so of Part II. In a mistake, I put down Daniel James. Well, Daniel goes with Russell, the name being Daniel Russell. James goes with Andrew, Andrew James. Once I caught the error in Part II, I fixed it ASAP. Although there are still errors in Part I, maybe one or two in Part II.

    Disclaimer: Star Wars was created by George Lucas. All charcters in the story come from Geoge Lucas's Star Wars Trilogy and from a few Expanded Universe Books that include, but not all, X-Wing: Rouge Squadron, X-Wing: Wedge' Gamble, Timothy Zahn's Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, The Last Command, and The New Jedi Order series of books.

    Character ideas, personalities (sp?), and actions come from these books and their charactes and action. I am not trying to copy anyone else's work, just taking ideas from the books and movies and putting them into this Fan Fic to give it the Star Wars feeling.

    Main Plot Infomration: The backgound for this Fan Fic, with premission from the Game Master, comes from [link=]The new DARK TIMES (35 years after ANH)[/link].

    Author's Note: Although Part I is finished and Part II is in the beginning stages, feel fee to post replies as you would with any other Fan Fic. Comments and ideas will be taken into consideration when typing the rest of Part II and the remainder of the Fan Fic. I hope you enjoy the Fan Fic.

    Note: I tried to post all of Chapter I and it did not post; it said "no message". Maybe there was too much to post, I don't know. I am gonna only post pat of Chapter I.

    Bravo Team

    Jason Bravo (human male from Corellia)
    Jim Jonesy (human male from Corellia)
    Timothy Wilkins (human male from Carratos)
    Darren Williams (human male from Dellalt)
    Bob Smith (human male from Chandrila)
    Jack ?Nerd? Neil (human male from Coruscant)
    Andrew James (human male from Onderon)
    Daniel Russell (human male from Ord Mantell)

    Han Solo (human male from Corellia)
    Leia Organa Solo (human female from Alderaan)
    Wedge Antilles (human male from Corellia)
    Lando Calrissian (human male, planet unknown)
    Dash Rendar, Smuggler (human male from Corellia)

    New Rebellion Military
    Admiral Tobasee (Mon Calamari male from Mon Calamari)
    General Joseph Smith (human male from Zhar)
    Kyle Katarn, Jedi Master / New Rebellion Grand General (hum
  2. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo

    CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jul 1, 2000
    Whoa...thats a LONG Chapter.

    Perhaps you should section each chapter? You'll probably wont scare away readers in the beginning with these extremely long posts then.

    Bookmarks to read later when he has time
  3. Bravo

    Bravo Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Sep 10, 2001
    CmdrMitthrawnuruodo! How are you buddy? Long time no see. And you are right about the long post. I was just thinking about that. And the scary thing is that it is not the end of the chapter! Chapter 1 is very very long. That is the downside of chapter 1, it is very long. But, I like how it started, with a battle.


    The Rebel and Imperial fleets fired endless volleys at each other, starfighters chasing each other between the deadly storm of energy and projectile weapons.

    ?Admiral, sir, we count a total of 60 Rebel vessels: 2 Imperial-II Star Destroyers, 10 Defender Star Destroyers, five of the old Rebel Assault Frigates, five MC-80B Mon Calamari Star Cruisers, five old Imperial Strike Cruisers, five Corona Frigates, 10 Majestic Heavy Cruisers, seven Republic-class Star Destroyers, 3 Endurance Fleet Carriers, 5 Warrior Gunships, and 3 MC-90 Mon Calamari Star Cruisers.?

    After the sensor officer had given his report, the Captain looked at the Grand Admiral. ?The Warrior Gunships, no doubt, are escorts for the Endurance Fleet Carriers, which will stay back from the main battle and act as refuel and recovery vessels.?

    The Grand Admiral said nothing, so the Captain went on. ?Admiral, sir,? His voice went to a whisper so no one else could hear, ?The Rebels out number us three to one. Further more, we have troops deployed on Mon Calamari and most of our support ships pounding Mon Calamari from above. Our ships on Mon Calamari are trapped, thus the enemy out numbers us three to one.?

    The Grand Admiral held up a hand, talking at a normal voice level. ?No more, please, Captain. Watch and learn. We have served for too long together to know that we have lost a battle because of numbers. The enemy is attacking with force; we will counter attack with less force but with better moves. Remember, all a battle is, really, is a big checkers or chess match. We can still win and we shall win.?

    After a few moments of silence, the two returned to view the battle. The Imperial fleet was deploying in groups, each group defending itself. Exactly what the Grand Admiral wanted. A united defense line would break in the middle or be flanked. Defensive circles had covering fire all the way around. The three major groups of Imperial ships were close enough to each other to cover each other?s flank. This tactic would not hold for ever, the Grand Admiral knew, and he was already planning his next move.

    ?Captain, sir,? A voice called from the comm station, ?Imperial Army Troopers, supported by Stormtrooper units and Imperial Navy Special Forces have secured several islands and cities. Rebel defenses are starting to crumble. All planetary shields are down.?

    ?Thank you, Lieutenant.? The Captain said.

    ?Yes, sir.? The Lieutenant replied back.

    ?What now?? The Captain asked the Grand Admiral.

    ?Sensors, read our forces down, please.? The Grand Admiral said out loud a she turned back to the bridge?s view port.

    ?Yes, Admiral. Imperial Forces are as follows: 5 older Imperial Star Destroyers and 10 Imperial-II Star Destroyers engaging the enemy with support from 10 CR90 Corellian Corvettes, 10 Corellian Gunships, and 5 Lancer Frigates, a total of 40 ships. In orbit and or in the planet of Mon Calamari?s atmosphere, 8 remaining Victory Star Destroyers, 3 remaining Victory-II Star Destroyers, two older Imperial Star Destroyers, two remaining CR90 Corellian Corvettes, and three remaining EF76 Nebulon B Escort Frigates, a total of 18 ships.?

    ?Of the number deployed on the planet, how many ships have we lost?? The Grand Admiral asked.

    ?Two Victory Star Destroyers and six CR90 Corellian Corvettes in the planet?s atmosphere and two Victory-II Star Destroyers and two EF76 Nebulon B Escort Frigates in orbit around Mon Calamari.?

    ?And in the space battles today, before this battle?? The Admiral asked.

    ?Two Imperial-II Star Destroyers, two CR90 Corellian Corvettes, our only three Bulk Cruisers, and our only three Carrack Cruisers.?

    ?Thank you.? The Grand Admiral returned his attention to the space battle ragging
  4. Bravo

    Bravo Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Sep 10, 2001
    Added Credit: Deadly Alliance: After the Vong, created by StarBreaker12


    Tycho Celchu saw first hand the destructive power of the Imperial ships. Although the Imperials were tough at the Battle of Endor, they had only fought because of Emperor?s Palpatine?s control through the Force. Once the Emperor had died, the Imperial Fleet declined into a mob. But, at this battle, the Battle of Mon Calamari II, the Imperials fought with passion that had not been seen since before and around the Battle of Hoth. It was clear that Dark Jedi and Sith had a hand in this, but they just made sure the Imperial Fleet was acting as one, not like at Endor where they acted as a massed mob.

    Where is Jacen and Kyp? He thought to himself as he watched the battle from an Imperial-II Star Destroyer called Rebels? Home.

    As he watched on, he saw that the Rebel pilots were being killed one by one. Where the Rebels got one kill on an enemy starfighter, the Imperials got three kills, or so read the battle information. He had ordered all starfighters to fly in flights of three, but even that didn?t help. Whole squadrons were being split up, mixed starfighter classes and pilots from different squadrons teaming up, not really knowing each other that well. It was a mess and there was no way out of it. It had been one hour since the suspire Rebel attack on the Imperials? left side had started. It looked as if the Rebels were losing all their spirit, their fighting drive.

    The two Imperial flanks, reinforced by 6 Imperial-II Star Destroyers and 2 Victory Star Destroyers started to sweep around the thinned and poorly armed Rebel flanks. As the Rebel flanks gave way rather quickly, the Rebel ships started to fall back slowly. The Imperial center, reinforced by 6 older Imperial Star Destroyers and 4 Victory Star Destroyers also came forward, slower then the flanking forces though.

    Soon, the 3 Endurance Fleet Carriers and 5 Warrior Gunships would be engaged. When that happened, the enemy would have almost completely surrounded the Rebel forces.

    Then, being dragged out of hyperspace a little bit behind the main battle, the Rebel reinforcements arrived.

    ?Sorry for running late,? Kyp Durron said over the military channel shared by the Rebel ships, ?Traffic.? He said, adding in that small joke to lighten up the situation somewhat.

    2 Imperial-II Star Destroyers, 5 older Imperial Star Destroyers, 3 Defender Class Star Destroyers, and 5 MC-80B Mon Calamari Star Cruisers came to the aid of the Rebels. Although not a huge force, they did have enough Jedi to do a Jedi Meld.

    Kyp Durron said through the Force to all the Jedi on all the newly arrived Rebel ships to get ready. Then, the Battle Meld started. Swarms of Rebel starfighters raced to encounter the growing Imperial threat, as the capital ships followed, slower then the starfighters, to reach the Rebels flank to prevent it from being flanked.

    The Grand Admiral stood at attention, waiting for Darth Maximums? report from the Sith Master?s private chamber within the tower part of the newer Imperial Star Destroyer.

    Finally Darth Maximums opened his eyes as he sat on the throne like chair. ?Rebel reinforcements have arrived, Admiral,? He said, his voice dark and with a commanding tone to it, ?They have Jedi in capital ships and a few in starfighters. This does not matter, Admiral. You will defeat the Rebels here today, correct??

    ?As you command, Darth Maximums. I have another trick for these Rebels.?

    ?Good, Grand Admiral Neta. I will keep these Jedi busy for you. They will not matter in your tactical planning.?

    ?As you command, sir.? The Grand Admiral repeated. ?Is there anything else, sir??

    ?Yes,? Darth Maximums said, ?I have heard our landing forces have hit a strong defensive line.?

    ?Correct.? The Admiral said, knowing where Darth Maximums would go with this.

    ?It?s time we make our presence felt. Deploy my Stormtroopers to Mon Calamari. They are better trained then these Imperial Stormtroopers and Imperial Army Troopers. The R
  5. Bravo

    Bravo Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Sep 10, 2001
    I think I am going to have this thread locked. From the lack of replies and just from reading my own Fan Fic, I can see that Part I is prolonged and really not needed. I'll start with Part II and a new thread. Part II, as I have stated, is better.

    Can a moderator please lock this thread? Thanks.
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