The Empire Strikes Back - In Glaswegian.

MAINT TITLE: GLAS GOW
Episode the Vs
The Lucky Strikes Match

Act One, Scene One;

Panning down to the tarmacaddam of a road through a snow bound housing estate, a double-decker bus suddenly roars into view. Out of the passenger windows on the bus, three separate cans of superlager are chucked onto the snowy embankment.
Nearby, on a snow-covered football pitch, we see Sheepshagger, getting a piggyback from a giant, idiotic, lumbering Tong-Tong.
Sheepshagger slows his Tong-Tong to a standstill. He brings a viewmaster to his eyes and turns it. Then he dials his mobile with one hand.

SHEEPSHAGGER
These peectures of yer maw are somthin' else Honner! By the way, some chank aw a bus jist rolled by, 'n that, 'n three cans o' super jist fell oot it! Bagsy they cans! Over 'n oot!

Suddenly, as if from nowhere, a giant, pissed Grampa punches Sheepshagger's Tong-Tong to the ground and starts kicking the ***t out of the two of them.

 

ANH isnt finished yet.

 

We have an usurper in our midst!

 

But I sense a presence...
one I have not felt since......

wait a minute.

yir free to take on "the Polis crack doon"" but ye can bugger aff and get yirsel a different icon.

God sakes...., I go on holiday for a week and me face isn'y my own

ps

hello Scotland, I'm on holiday, yoor no....

 

Feck off ya bawbag!

Hey...yous off next Monday & Tuesday?

 

Yep off for Her Majesty but there will be nae street parties around my house

 

I'm sorry for usurping your thang. I am Lizardmonkey - so I thought a photo of the most famous Lizardmonkey of all would be appropriate.
Sorry I started the ESB translation ahead of you. it was the bastard in me that did it. Feel free to use the material I have produced for your own script.
Love and Glasgow Kisses
LM

 

oh no, MonkeyLizard old chap.... carry on carry on.....

the whole experience of doing "Yiv Nae Hope" has left me and Padawan quite artistically drained... and we're no even finished the thing yet...

Please. Feel free to take on translating Empire into our fine native tongue. The Scottish Jedi Cooncil board is getting noticeably livelier and it would be a mortal sin to discourage any such endeavour.

However, I am going to have to fight you for the icon.... Georges Square bus queue, next Saturday, 2.30am, nae chibs.