Before - Legends The Exilious Ones

The Exilious Ones are a group of force useres that were created by Xanatos. They have all the force powers of a sith and jedi, and some unheard of powers such as freeze, disaster, wall crawl, fly, destiny alter (only been used by Xanatos), and many others. The exilious have eight red lines on the body part(s) that is the most in-tuned with the force. If they are good with using their hand(s) and eye(s), there will be four on each. The exilious started ,in secret, while Xanatos was a sith. When his master found out that he was training another, he threw Xanatos out of the sith order. Another reason that he was thrown out was that he started a mining corperation without his master's permission. While on the planet of the exilious temple, he ran across his old master and OBI-Wan. Upon this he killed him self by jumping into a pool of acid. While going down, he altered Qui-Gon's life. After the death of the Almighty Xanatos, his apprentice (the legendary Darth Angarius, relative of the jedi master Plo Koon)captured many sith and jedi. This was to make the exilious race larger and stronger. The exilious has it's own council and representitives on the senate. The council consists of Darth Angarius, Darth Endring, Darth Hedes, Darth Necrotia, Darth Severas, and Darth Judgementcho. The senate representitives consists of Darth Endring, Darth Necrotia, and Darth Lazius. The mining corperation was for building an underground temple. The exilious also has it's own bounty hunters, they only have six red lines for they are not true exilious yet they have many of the powers. In the underground temple, there is no electricity because their lightsabers are completely forcepowered and any other electrical items will turn off. And their enemies will not be able to see in the dark, all the exilious use force sight while they are there. Now that the exilious are up and running, a rumor has started (after the galactic empire was destroyed) that there is a man known as THE IMPENDING DOOM, he is said to be stronger than Xanatos. If only the exilious could find him, he is also a jedi and sith killer. It is said in the legend that if the exilious find him and convert him from his force usage to theirs, then he will bring ultimate ballance to the force by killing all jedi and sith. Killing all jedi and sith is the number two priority of the exilious. The number one of course is findind THE IMPENDING DOOM. The only reason the exilious were created was to seek revenge on all jedi and sith. Even when he was a sith, he had plotted to kill his master and have higher power.



















I hope everyone liked this, please reply with ideas and any thoughts for The Exilious Ones......... please reply.

 

This looks interesting but reads like a plot summary. I would suggest fleshing this out.

 

meaning?

 

seriously what does that mean

 

Hi DH,

Like LP said, it sounds like an interesting idea. What I think LP meant (and I know you'll correct me if I'm wrong, LP! ) is that what you have here sounds like the synopsis you'd read on the back of a novel. You need to develop it more - add descriptions and dialogue like you would read in an actual book.

Maybe take a look at some stories around here - see how they put together their plot lines and how they structure their works. Also check out the Resource board and find the threads for newbies and beta readers. They'll be able to help you out. Good luck!

 

oh i understand...i'll get to work on it, me and my friends have been workin on storylines