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Before - Legends The Eyes of a Father- a series of Obi/Qui snapshots *UPDATE 8th May!*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Stella_Ripple, Aug 30, 2005.

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  1. Stella_Ripple

    Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2005
    Summary: A series of snapshots in the lives of Obi Wan and Qui Gon
    This first one explores a brief mushy moment in a stressful mission (Originally it was meant to remain just that...buuut, I have a stray bunny that wants to see something beside the inside of my head- so it would be v. encouraging to see if anyone's interested)

    Notes: This is my first attempt at an SW fanfic, so any responses - be they critisims or comments- would be appreciated. Thank You :)

    Title With You
    Author Stella Ripple
    Genre Mush
    Timeframe JA obi is 17
    Notes Just a lil moment between my favourite Master and Padawan
    Disclaimer Nope, still not mine *sigh*


    ?Tell me Padawan,? Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn put forth conversationally, ?how is it we always end up in these...ah, situations??

    All around them, blaster bolts sped through the hangar bay creating a multicoloured queue of lights above their heads, whilst every now and then, the ground shook and metal vibrated as the energy canons fired another round.

    Said padawan looked up briefly from the blaster he was reloading. ?Just lucky, I guess,? cerulean eyes sparkled mischievously; he was well aware of his master?s stance on the subject of luck. ?Or perhaps it?s the Will of The Force.?? he continued his teasing, accurately mimicking his master?s sombre intonation on the last four words.

    Qui-Gon was forced to smother a laugh, but was unable to completely hide the slight twitch on his upper lip, ?Brat.? He grumbled half- heartedly. Taking stock of the laughing eyes set in the dishevelled face so near his own, his gaze softened and he added, more seriously, ?Where would I be without you??

    ?Probably enjoying the comfort of the royal suites, with His Most Excellent Noble Prince of Pompousness at your beck and call.? Obi Wan replied half jokingly and half guiltily.

    His mentor was quick to notice the trickle of shame that had filtered through his apprentice?s playful tone.

    In a rare display of ?spontaneous emotion, Qui-Gon grabbed the padawan braid that trailed the youth?s shoulders and held it in a strong grip.

    ?Padawan mine, never, never doubt for a moment that I would rather spend these months with you on this Force-forsaken rock, than an eternity amidst the luxuries of the Chancellor?s Palace without you.?

    Gone was the serene Jedi, in his place was a man of intense emotion and flashing eyes, the eyes of man of passion, of a man who knows what it is to love, the eyes of a father.

    Obi Wan found himself unable to speak in the face of the unadulterated love that came shining through the usually stoic visage, he didn?t?t need to. His expressive eyes, that for a moment became a bit too bright, maybe from the reflections of blaster bolts that surrounded them, said it all, and more.
     
  2. Star_Drifter

    Star_Drifter Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Gone was the serene Jedi, in his place was a man of intense emotion and flashing eyes, the eyes of man of passion, of a manwho knows what it is to love, the eyes of a father.

    Obi Wan found himself unable to speak in face of the unaldulterated love that came shining through the usually stoic visage, he didn?t need to. His expressive eyes - eyes that for a moment became a bit too bright, maybe from the reflections of blaster bolts that surrounded them- said it all, and more.


    Now that is really sweet! [:D]

    You're doing a very nice job for a first fic! =D=

    And, I can't wait to read more, please! [face_batting]
     
  3. JOINME

    JOINME Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 25, 2005
    That was beautiful!

    Very sweet, the Master's love for the Padawan, which of course would be equal to the love of a parent for their child.

    Wonderful first fic! =D=

    I can't wait for more from you!

    Please PM me with updates if you can! If you can't, I'll keep an eye out. :D [:D]
     
  4. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    That was quite sweet. I loved the banter between the two. Good job.
     
  5. Jennifer_Lyn

    Jennifer_Lyn Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2005
    Wonderful job, congrats! I look forward to seeing more of your work soon!
     
  6. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Wonderful work! I'll be looking for more from you! =D=
     
  7. corellian-jedi

    corellian-jedi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Nice work![:D] *melt into a puddle at the last few paragraphs*

    I'll be watching this one!
     
  8. Stella_Ripple

    Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2005
    Star_Drifter: Thank you soooo much for being the first to review and put to rest the fears and second guessings of a paranoid newbie [:D]
    I?m glad you liked the mush- I was afraid I might have gone overboard and Mary-Sue-ish

    JOINME: I?m glad you could see the love between Master and Padawan- which is what I hope to explore in this series. Thank you for the encouraging words and of course I?ll PM you (but have a little patience with the newbie- I had to go away and figure out how to after your review) :)

    Dianethx: Thanks, from you that means a lot

    Jennifer_Lyn: Thank You. Hopefully the next post will be up soon, its all planned out- now for the easy part- I just need to write it :D

    VaderLVR64: I?ve been a Lurker of your fics for sometime now, and I?m honoured such a talented writer enjoyed my little attempt

    corellian-jedi: Yay! a mush lover! *hands over a freezer* Please revive yourself in time for the next post ;)
    By the way, I love your stories Mirage and A circle in the water- can?t wait for the updates- please PM me when you update either, if you can

    Thanks to everyone for giving a confused newbie some warm fuzzy feelings [:D] and motivations to continue this further and for reducing me to somewhere between being a puddle and a hysterically laughing maniac 8-}
     
  9. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Awww what a sweet snapshot! Just the right amount of mush and banter all mixed in together :)


    Welcome to the boards!
     
  10. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Very lovely! [:D] I love mushy moments.

    Looking forward to more!
     
  11. stormqueen874

    stormqueen874 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2005
    Cute, cute, cute! I can't wait to see what else you've got in store for us; this was just so adorable! I love little moments between Obi and Qui like this, and it was well-written. I love their banter in this, how they're able to make jokes despite the danger around them.

    Bravo! Hope you update soon!
    Stormqueen
     
  12. LilQui-Gon

    LilQui-Gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2004
    How lovley! =D= Can't wait for more.
     
  13. BottledUpInside

    BottledUpInside Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2005
    This is really good for a first fic, a tad short, but very very good. More?!? =D=
     
  14. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 1999
    Ooh, very nice. [face_love] I love Qui-Obi fics that show a loving father-son relationship. I'll definitely be watching this one, it's off to a promising start!
    More soon? [face_batting]
     
  15. bek

    bek Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    ?Padawan mine, never never doubt for a moment that I would rather spend these months with you on this force forsaken rock, than an eternity amidst the luxuries of the Chancellor?s Palace without you.?

    Gone was the serene Jedi, in his place was a man of intense emotion and flashing eyes, the eyes of man of passion, of a manwho knows what it is to love, the eyes of a father.


    That was wonderful! :) I enjoy reading fics with Qui and Obi having a familial relationship. Great job with this. I can't wait to read more! :)
     
  16. PadawanKaterina

    PadawanKaterina Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 1, 2005
    Gotta love mush. [face_love] More please. [face_batting]

    I have a question. Why are they using blasters and not 'sabers? Just curious.
     
  17. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004


    It is always nice to see a bit of mush where Obi and Qui are concerned.

    You have done very well in capturing the moment and sincerity between (Father and Son)

    Well Done=D=
     
  18. Stella_Ripple

    Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2005
    Layren: Thank you, glad you liked it.

    Maychorian: I love mushy moments Me too!! :D

    Stormqueen: Thank you, I?m glad you like the little moment. I?m still trying to get used to the characters, so it?s a relief to know I haven?t made them too OOC. Hopefully you?ll like the next shot just as much!

    LilQui-Gon: Glad you liked it. Hope the next one suits just as well.

    BottledUpInside: I?m glad you think so. I know it is a little too short, hopefully the next shot will be a little worker, not sure when it?ll be up though, sorry!

    Baster: Thank you, I?m glad you liked my first attempt at the Obi/Qui relationship.

    Bek: I?m sooo glad you enjoyed those bits, I really liked writing them, but was a little afraid I?d gone overboard (is there such a thing as too much mush?) :D

    PadawanKaterina: Yes you do, and I?m very glad YOU do! Thanks for dropping by. About the blasters and not sabres thing, partly because it felt right at the time :D but the main reason is explained in another story I?m thinking about, and since I may never get it out, I might as well say the key word is ?undercover? ;)

    Gilkenny: Yay! Another mush lover- can?t have enough of those! Thank you, I?m relieved to see my portrayal of the master/pad wan relationship is being so well received :D



    Thanks to everyone for the wonderful, encouraging reviews. I'm working on the next post, but due to some tech problems and an increasing amount of schoolwork :( it may take a while.
     
  19. TRADMIC

    TRADMIC Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2005
    Gotta love the sweetness, and glad to hear there will be another post!
    put down the schoolwork and post stories!
     
  20. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Very amusing, true, and sweet.
     
  21. obi_webb

    obi_webb Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 4, 2005
    I was very impressed with that! i too, am a mush lover so i enjoyed your snapshot very much. very sweet=D=
    you also have me intrigued about the whole qui gon and obi undercover thing you mentioned. i'd love to see you write that! (but i'd happily settle for another random qui/obi snapshot.:)

     
  22. Kestrel_Kenobi

    Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2005
    Sis! Just found this and really liked it! I love Obi/Qui together. Keep me posted!
     
  23. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Hadn't seen this before. That was quite lovely, I hope there'll be more up. :).
     
  24. Stella_Ripple

    Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2005
    TradmicYes Ma'am! *tosses school books out* Actually I'm working on a couple of short stories, but I'll come back to this eventually
    Darth IshtarThank You. Its great you think so!
    Obi WebbSo glad you liked the mush! It's my favourite part (if you couldn't guess :p )!
    KesThanks a lot! Glad you liked!
    Healer LeonaGlad you caught it this time around! As I said, it may be awhile till I get back to it, but in the meantime I've got plenty to keep me busy!

    Thanks to EVERYONE for reading!
     
  25. kenobiwanobi

    kenobiwanobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 26, 2005
    Beautifully written- I love it- Please tell me that you intend to write more stories

    -May the force be with you--[face_peace]
     
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