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  1. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    Something happened to the forum before so this story got deleted a few times. Anyway, here's my first REAL attempt at a fan-fic. Don't be too harsh! This is just a start, it'll get better, trust me. :)
    ---------------------------------------------

    The Republic ship tore through space, headed for the looming ship ahead. Inside, was Lucas Southring, one of the most renouned Jedi Knights in the service of the Republic.

    At thirty-five years old, he was at his prime, and he had a few nice ways of showing it off. He had light blue eyes that were kind and cold at the same time, sometimes his stare could turn a volcano into a glacier, yet sometimes it could even soothe a crying baby. He had short, dark brown hair, and a medium build. Even though he was a strong man, his body became more and more uneasy as they got closer to the ship.

    He cautiously watched as the battleship got closer, as more of the detail of it's markings could be seen. Yes, it was a battleship, that much was clear, but the Treatise with the Confederation controlled planets had clearly outlawed all warships in Confederation controlled space. No doubt something had gone awry, and that's what he was here to find out.
  2. Herman Snerd Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 1999
    star 6
  3. Darth McClain Arena Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2000
    star 6
    Great start, Jedi Knight Anakin!
  4. Whiskey in the Jar-Jar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2000
    star 4
    So far, so good
    So...keep going
  5. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    Thanks, here's the next one.
    ---------------------------------------------

    The ship got closer, and he could hear faint sounds from the cockpit. The ship shuddered as it broke through the shield into the landing bay. Lucas's eyes darted around space, so if something did go wrong, he would have a logical escape route, if no ships shifted positions or formations. Something was not right here, and Lucas felt it. He felt the full wave of it, a disturbance in the Force that would shake down a leviathan.

    Lucas could not shake it off, but suddenly realized that the pilot, a half-human half-droid named MG-88, was standing before him, hands on his hips, waiting as patiently as his short-fuse patience would. Lucas cracked a small grin at the thought of the droid blowing his stack at the troopers in the hall.
    That would be a sight to see. He thought to himself. Although he was a Jedi, he was more laid back. than the others, much to Yoda's disapproval.

    He stood up from his seat as EmmGee pressed a button to lower the ramp. Lucas pulled his hood over his head and waited for the ramp to lower and for the vents to blow off the excess landing steam before he exited into the hangar. MG-88 strode over to the waiting mechanics and began an analysis of the repairs to the ship from the perilous journey to the battleship.

    The hangar was medium sized, with a small line of benches by one side under a window (from a guard office, perhaps), flanked on one side by a red-striped security door.

    There were three other ships docked there, one of a peculiar circular shape, with half an octagon protruding out of one side, surrounded by windows. Probably the cockpit. The other was a immissble blend between a Republic cruiser and a Nubian J type 47. Whoever built that, He thought. Had to have had one too many Rodian reds in the design stage.

    Otherwise, the hangar was mostly empty, save a few heavy lifter droids, busy at work lifting red and green cargo boxes from the circular ship, mechanics, a few security droids chatting about the newest models, and...

    Military men??

    It seemed like a unit of a militia was lined against the wall on the left side of the door, at ease and chatting with each other.

    Possibly on leave... or maybe stationed here...

    But then he noticed it. Rifles. Heavy rifles. Each one of them had a rifle slung over his shoulder, right next to a cameoflauge supply pack.

    Well, so much for negociation on their part...

    This was not going to be easy.

    ---------------------------------------------
    Tell me if you like it! If you want more, just ask.
  6. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
  7. Tellesto Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 1999
    star 5
    Your getting skilled with each addition!
  8. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    Whoops how dandy... my computer crashed WinWord... how fun. Look like I can't post until tomorrow. Sorry.
  9. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    Here's the next page!
    ---------------------------------------------

    Lucas turned around as an officer (or what looked to be in officer in that tight suit. Then again, he did have his rank insignia right on his shirt. Golly gee, call it a hunch.), who greeted him with a tight smile.

    "Good day, Jedi. I am Officer of Operations Pa'tan of the World Confederation."

    He saluted. Lucas bowed slighly.

    "I am Lucas Southring, Jedi in the service of the Republic."

    They began to walk to the bridge, Luxas in large strides, the officer in somewhat nervous steps. Lucas started to take note of everything around him, even the littlest droid pressing buttons, knowing that it would serve his memory well, as he had learned to do.

    The officer became more nervous and brought up the new subject about the state of affairs. Lucas listened patiently.

    "As you know, Yuni IV is a part of the World Confederation. They take part in a trade and commerce operation between other planets and theirs. A few centuries ago, a sacred artefact of theirs went missing. It recently, about a week ago, turned up at a nearby planet."

    Lucas nodded as he listened, all the while carefully watching the militia lined against the wall.

    Too agressive. He though.

    "It was declared such a piece of art," Pa'tan continued, "that it was transferred to the center of the Confederation. Yuni IV begged for it's retrieval, but the Confederation didn't allow it."

    Lucas looked startled. "Why not? If it's important to them, it should have been returned to them, under article 7.5, subsection 2 of the Confederation's Treatise with the planets it covers."

    Pa'tan glared at him, suprised. Quickly enough, he deducted that this Jedi knew too much. Much too much.

    He cleared his throat and swallowed before he started again.

    "Ah, yes well, the Confederation doesn't bargain with terrorists. A few days later, Yuni fanatics stole the artifact and returned it to their homeworld. So, as you see, we have the legal backing to invade them, as stipulated by the Treatise."

    Lucas nodded, if reluctantly, and Pa'tan strode off to the bridge to "Notify them to be prepared for his arrival.", although Lucas noticed a hint of fear in his voice. He glanced around the hangar another time, now watching the little droids work around the hangar. He turned his attention to EmmGee, who was now in a heated argument with the mechanics (as usual). Lucas took a deep sigh and dropped down into one of the padded benches on the side of the hangar, still carefully watching the militia.

    Too agressive. He kept saying to himself. Too agressive.
  10. juwannajedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Anakin,

    I've been reading your stuff on Ultra-stressed. I think this is even better than what you've been writing there. I like it.
  11. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    Thanks juwannajedi! Here's some more... It gets kindof TPM-ish, but that's the way I think it has to be... When you imagine the bridge, imagine the Who Wants to Be A Millionaire set, but the seats surrounding it are controls, attended by people, the floor is... well the floor, and the middle is the chair, and the screen in back of them is a window into space.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Pa'tan nervously stepped into the bridge. The bridge was very large, larger than most ships. On the cicumference of the circular bridge was meters of controls, attended to by hundreds of people. Overhead was a glass dome looking out into space, and the floor was a grate over a glass floor, with red lights shining from underneath it. It was the most elaborate ship in the Confederation's fleet at the time, and they took great pride in it.

    Pa'tan stepped down to the ground level, a floor etched with a spine-tingling design-- the Mark of the Sith. He moved to a chair standing alone in the middle, facing the window to space. He cleared his throat before speaking, first in a squeak, then regaining his normal tone.

    "M..." The words could not form in his mouth. It was as if his tounge was snared by the figure in the chair, as if fear had grabbed his throat and would not let go.

    The figure looked on. Pa'tan eventually found the power to speak in his dark, looming fear that surrounded him.

    "M...my lord?" He squeaked.

    The figure did not move, did not show any signs of acknowledging him. Pa'tan was silent for a moment, then the figure spoke.

    "What is it?" It spoke in more of a growl that a word, something that could only be made by a creature of the dark, one that would slink through the night to find it's prey. It did not move, yet seemed to wait patiently for Pa'tans answer.

    "The Republic.... ambassador... is a Jedi." Pa'tan said, barely more audible than a whisper.

    The figure let out a low growl, sending Pa'tan back a few steps.

    "I figured as much. Get rid of the Jedi scum."

    Pa'tan froze. "My lord, our troops.... they will be no match for him!"

    The creature moved his hand over a button on the throne, and it spun around at a painfully slow pace.

    Then Pa'tan saw him.

    He was a Sith, no doubt, a creature of the Dark, a disciple of the Dark Side, a prophet of fear. It was adorned in pitch black robes, covering him from head to foot. The only thing visible was his face, a frightening visage.

    His face was a tatoo of different designs, each one of them having some meaning in the religion of the Sith. It could be made out to be a dragon became one with him, a vision so frightening, Pa'tan could not bear to look him in the eye.

    In a low growl, he spoke, revealing his sharp pointed teeth for an instant.

    "Do as I command you, officer."

    The officer bowed and quickly strode away, shaking as if an earthquake were occuring inside his body.

    While he walked back towards the entrance, he accessed a nearby communications panel. He set it for the frequency of the commander of the militia set up in the hangar.

    The communications crackled and sparked. "Yes sir?" The commander answered.

    "Orders from the Master." He glanced back over his shoulder, taking one last glance at the Sith Lord.

    "Take care of the Jedi."


  12. Lilith Demodae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 1999
    star 4
    Hey, this is good stuff, Anakin. Keep it going.
  13. Darth McClain Arena Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2000
    star 6
  14. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    Now we're going to cut away from Lucas for a while... Be warned, this is long.

    This part is mostly by a good friend of mine, so bear with me...

    And to imagine Anakin, just think of Jake Llyod as Anakin in TPM, that should do ya. And this Yun isn't the Yun from Jedi Knight, just a name, as Anakin isn't the Anakin from TPM.
    -------------------------------------------------------

    Far away from Yuni IV, past Coruscant, far away from Kashhykk, lied the beautiful green planet of Aldeeran. In a small village on that planet, Rohan Ambrai stayed. It was Lucas's home planet, and the homeworld of his son.

    Rohan sat in front of a holo-table. He sat crossways from the table, tapping his finger lightly on it?s surface as he spoke to the image in the holo. Rohan was in his early thirties, with light brown hair sweeping down his back. His concerned blue eyes were fixed on the holo, unaverting except to the sound of birds and children playing outside.

    Although he wasn't his usual self. Lucas away for longer than he should've been, and Rohan was worrying about his friend. Lucas was his best friend, one he had gone through temple training together and grew up together. Now his kind eyes were clouded with worry.

    He was talking with his apprentice, QuiGon Ka'il. He was very young, no more than twenty-two or twenty-three years old. He had alert green eyes that seemed to be looking every which way at once. He had dark brown hair, cut in a short Padawan haircut, but not as short as the others. It was parted down the middle, and his Padawan braid hung over his right shoulder.

    ?Something is wrong, QuiGon. There has been no transmissions. He was due to report in by now.?

    ?Perhaps so, Master. I sense something? something I can?t quite put my finger on?? He mentioned, contemplating.

    Rohan nodded. He knew never to doubt his Padawan's instincts, he had been with him too long.

    ?I sense it also? I will give him another day, then I will go myself.?

    ?Yes Master,? he nodded, then grinned. ?His son will be no doubt anxious to hear of his wellbeing.?

    Rohan smiled as he recalled the small child he met earlier. Strong in spirit, he had the potential to become a Jedi, potential enough to convince Rohan that Lucas was right ? he should be trained. He was a small boy of about eight, with blonde-brown hair that mostly covered his face. He was a sweet person, always eager to help people that he happened to pass by on the way to get groceries.

    ?No doubt. I?ve finished the tests, QuiGon. He can become a Jedi.? He smiled as he remember how much the council liked the boy. He even brought Adi Gallia a present, a small gem stone necklace he carved himself. He seems to think as if everyone around him was family.

    "I thought as much. Do you think the Council will approve him? He is after all, eight years of age."

    Rohan frowned. "I don?t see a problem. Anyway, forget Anakin for a moment. You must concentrate on your training right now. The trials are next week."

    QuiGon nodded, and gave a little grimace. He didn't like the thought, but it seemed to come back and haunt him every 10 minutes.

    ?I am up against stiff competition.? He implied, with more than a little sigh.

    ?I know you will pass the trials, QuiGon. Have faith in yourself, be at peace with the Force? and you shall pass.?

    QuiGon obvoiusly was disurbed and anxious about the trials, then silently bowed as the image flickered slightly.

    "May the Force be with you, Master." He said, smiling.

    "As with you, my young Padawan."

    QuiGon's image faded with a flicker, and Rohan sighed, preoccupied with many thoughts. He silently strode to one of the windows. Staring out, he saw Anakin at play with some of his friends, playing tag. He grinned at the sight of the young boy, with so many years ahead of him, so many experiences, so many...

    "Memories?"

    He turned as he heard a voice behind him. He grinned as Yun stepped up to the window beside him. He grinned.

    "I'm not that over the hill yet!"

    Yun was a Jedi also, dressed in simple black clothing. His lightsaber hung visibly off his belt. He had short black
  15. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    To da top! Please comment, positive and negative. That's the only thing that's gonna keep me going. And if any of the great authors from Ultra-Stressed are reading this, I would REALLY like your feedback. You're my author idols.
  16. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
  17. Darth McClain Arena Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2000
    star 6
    Great! Keep it up, Anakin!
  18. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    Sorry, but right now I have a really bad case of writers block, so I'm not going to post until maybe tomorrow. Thanks for your comments guys!


  19. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
  20. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    Am I the only one reading this? Top.
  21. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    I'm getting discouraged and wondering if I should continue writing this, since it seems to creep back to the second page without me bumping it back up. *Sigh* I intended the story of Lucas Southring to be in 3 stories, this to be the first. If anyone wants me to continue, you gotta tell me. I also can post some non-SW short stories I wrote, if you guys want me to.
  22. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    Let me try a small post from the school computer...
    ---------------------------------------------

    Lucas pulled his head from his hands long enough to hear a small mumur from the militia near the wall. They glanced over at him menacingly, and it made Lucas worry.

    Then they pulled their rifles out and aimed it them at him.

    Uh oh.

    They fired, red lasers flashing through the air, and quickly meeting with a green lightsaber blade, and flying back to the start point. Three of them went down from deflecting laser blasts, and the two others charged at him. Lucas spun around, taking out the first, and twirled his lightsaber high and then low, cutting the other down. He deflected more lasers, and called upon the Force to push one into the wall, knocking him unconcious.

    I don't have time for this. He thought to himself. As he downed the last troop, he carved in the large blast door next to the benches and jumped through. He cut through another trooper and threw one more into a bunch of his compatriots. His green lightsaber flashed in a blur, so quickly that the troopers did not know he was even wielding the ancient weapon. Another swift move and the corridor was cleared.

    The alarms blared in the bridge, drowing out the usual drone of computers. The officers ran frantically around, trying to release more troops. The figure still sat motionless in his chair, glaring out into space.

    The captain approached him, frantic.

    "Sir, we should release the war droids."

    The figure acknowledged him without moving, and spoke quietly yet menacingly.

    "Kill him."
  23. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    mad.gif mad.gif mad.gif Ok, since nooone is reading this, replying, or generally caring about this except maybe one or two people, I am ceasing work on this thread. It doesn't seem if anyone cares if this thread exists or not, as noone is reading it an I am the only one posting. mad.gif
  24. Maija Darklighter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2000
    star 2
    Keep going! Keep going! Im reading!
    I just found this thread today *cronch at the corner* you're not still mad?

    Darklighter
  25. Jedi Knight Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 8, 2000
    star 1
    I guess I'll go on... not today though... too busy. mad.gif
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