The Fandomenace....We have your bacon

Noom, you know me to be a fair person and a fierce competitor. Do not try to jack up the price in a bidding war. You will have your 1 million credits and whatever bonus my generosity sees fit to pay. You will also have my gratitude for a job well done and you know my gratitude is worth a lot more than mere credits in a bank account. I am a powerful being and I can be an ally or your worst nightmare, it is your choice. I think you will make the wise decision and work with me rather than against me. This Rodian's money cannot do the things for you that I can.

 

<i>continued from above </i>

...melts into Beenca Spunpatch's kiss like a warm chinook wind on Tatooine, their open mouths entertwining tongues. Tallon breaks off for a moment to look at his lady love and trill his mouth in a foreign purr into her left ear. She looks back at her rogue with wide eyed surprise. He speaks her language. She rubs her furry cheek against his, kisses him again, and purrs into his own ear with the truly welcome greeting of her system, Cathar, her clear eyes sparkle. Mmmmm, Tallon, she whispers, rubbing her cheek on his sleeve. Tallon sighs and slowly shakes his head at his good fortune.
He must remember to thank the Sprinkle Empress, but right now he can only think of the purring Catharian in his arms.

 

miss beenca
i've descussed termns with too-mi-shu
and he has agreed to 1,500,ooo credits
match it plus your favors and his head is yours.
get back to me in 3 standerd days
noom : out

 

Noom you have a deal. You know I will be a great friend to you if you take care of what I need.

 

Tallon takes leave of his purring lady love after many hours of tasting her sweet justice. He is far beyond grateful. Being the mercenary, he is absolved to work his way up the Empress's chain of command and be attentive to Beenca, but also with a slight bend towards some recompense, with the ultimate goal of fueling his desire for adventure.

Slipping out of the safehouse and into the sparse streets of Kuat, he goes to see an old friend who helped him before. However on his way to the repair doc's, his senses reel him back to reality. In a moment, he is surrounded, held by his arms, and struggling against his bonds, Tallon sees the fist arcing towards his solar plexus that is impossible to halt.

Tallon crumples his weight to the ground and sprawls, moaning in pain. "I've come to collect what you stole from me, privateer..." says a voice through the fog.

His assailants pull him around a corner and out of sight of some curiously strained faces. "Dammit, Karrdegamer, what do I have to do to keep you in check? Didn't you see those Krakkian agents over there. El Puerco would have made mincemeat out of you and served your hide up rare."

Tallon looks up and sees the face of Toonbuck Toors. "Did you have to hit me so hard, woman?"

 

(screams of a neimodian heard in background)WHAT? I hear rumblings about taking someone's head? And I am not invited in on the Hunt? How dare you swine.

 

Beenca was sleeping peacefully in Tallon's arms and dreaming sweet dreams. She suddenly bolts up in bed and realizes that Tallon is gone. Beenca is filled with dread thinking that something could be wrong. She tries to contact Tallon on his personal commlink but there is no answer. She then tries to contact the bagboy guardsman she assigned to protect that stubborn Kuati. The guard responds that there is trouble and his commlink shorts out.
Beenca is up and dressed and out the door in a flash. She thinks to herself how smart it was to have tracking devices put on all her elite guards and on Tallon himself. For some reason that man can't stay out of trouble. Why couldn't he just stay in bed with me? Why is he out and about where he can get into trouble? "I'll have to have a talk with that man when this is all over.", she says out loud to herself as she hurries to his side with her blaster drawn.

Beenca rounds the corner and sees someone punching Tallon and dragging him into an alley. She runs after the assailant and is about to fire on them....

 

Tallon rubs his pecs and holds up a hand to Beenca. "Not so fast, kitty," rising now with a hugh burst of emotion, Tallon pulls his legs under himself, jumps to his feet, and scrapes a devastating set of blows to the faces of the creatures who hold him. His elbows rip into their nasal passages, sending them reeling in a backwards sommersault. "I got my own claws to use," he said. Beenca is openmouthed at his agility, while Toonbuck scowls. They rub their jaws in agony. "Forget Texas style, these creeps will only be able to eat chopped BBQ for a while." Turning to Toors, Tallon points an accusatory finger. "Next time, knock before entering."

 

Toonbuck points an accusatory finger back at Tallon, yelling, "Next time your head is about to be vaporized, I may not be there to save your sorry tush!" She turns and walks away, while the henchmen writhe in pain and roll away into the darkness. Tallon turns to his kitty love and says, "Beenca, thanks for coming in time. I don't know if I can trust that tentacle-mouth. I know I can count on you in a pinch." He pinches her lovingly on her hindquarters. "Shall we go check out the 24C41? I'm hoping we can continue our tet-a-tet later, on board, if the dang thing is fixed."

 

Beenca is furious when she arrives in the alley, but her anger melts into relief when she sees Tallon safe. She addresses him sternly trying to maintain her businesslike appearance in public.
Tallon, why do you insist on putting yourself in these dangerous situations? Now that you are working closely with the Sprinkle and Bacon smuggling networks as well as your own BBQ smuggling operation you shouldn't have to be in situations where you are vulnerable. I am working on a plan that with your approval and Minacia's will get El Puerco off of your back. I also want to check into your "friend" the Senator Toonbuck. I don't trust her in the least. I don't know if she is interested in you personally, or if she is leading you into a trap for your enemies. Either way she is not going to achieve her objective. All I know is I had the worst feeling when I woke up and you were gone. I knew you were in danger. By the way my repair squad has reported significant progress on the 24C41. They still have some work to do on some upgrades that I ordered installed, so we can adjourn to my transport for now to discuss the many subjects we have to work out.

 

The senator being disgusted with all this lovey dovey stuff pulls out the firehose and turns it on both Beenca and Tallon. And lets then have it at full force.

 

Tallon grabs his delectible furry companion by the waist, and jumps inside the now closing reactor bay doors, shoves her thru and into repair bay, just before the torrent of water hits them fully. Barrelrolling to the floor, he's drenched like a wet rat, as the water pounds on him, but before the doors slam shut, he grins with playful glee and fires his blaster at the cocky senator, which misses the hose's metal nose cone, but instead the shot ricochet's off a wall and hits a pit droid on the rear, which forcibly plummels the droid a few meters onto the hose squarely with a clang, sizzling water into steam and cauterizing the carbosteel fibers of the hose shut. The water now binds at the end of the clamped-shut hose, exuding into a slow dribble. The repair bay blast doors reopen. A soaked, and half angry Tallon walks out. Jealous, are we, DuSine? Or just feeling left out of the party?

 

*As he draws his blast sword and slyly eyes the bulge forming in the hose and the approaching Tallon* Neither Tallon, I just do not feel that it is proper ettiquite or manors to be doing that sort of activity in public. *He plunges his blast sword into the bulge in the hose caused by the water pressure and directs a new higher force, bruising, stream of water right at Tallon's nether regions. He smirks wickedly* I personally think that someone needs to cool off a bit.

 

"That's brisk, baby." *soaking in a backwards sommersault* " Hey when are we going to join forces again? *tumbling backwards at the onslught of water with a maniacle grin* Didn't we fend off an attack by some Quintumvirates and Kowakkians back on Coruscant? *firing a shot from my blaster at his own nether regions, which misses the senator, hits the coiled hose on the wall, severing the hose at the source and sealing the water off. The hose drops off the wall like a limp noodle. I tumble back into a standing position and walk with a determined gait towards the senator, looking at him intensely* so let's stop playing around with each other's nether regions and let's bang some baddies heads together, hmm? I'm hungry. How 'bout some BBQ, my friend? *slapping the back of his buddy Senator DoSine with wet aplomb and laughing joyously* I know where there's a great place nearby, and perhaps we can use the dirty plates for target practice. I need to improve my lousy shooting.

 

*puts his blast sword away* Sounds good to me Tallon. Although do they offer my homemade bantha poodo?

 

If they don't, we can certainly convince them to add it to the menu.

 

personal hologram to beenca
sorry for the delay bounty just remembered my
daughter na noom is having her 1 year
birthday party tomarrow and have been homeworld bound for a while but next week i should have shu well in route to u in 5 standerd days

noom out

 

Most definitely Tallon, I just completed a batch myself adn it is wonderful.

 

Beenca, DoSine, and Tallon gather their belongings and all walk into the Rocket Red Hot and Blue. Delicious Barbecue smells start wafting into the air. A servodroid asks them if they want smoking or non-smoking, but they look at each other with curiously humorous indignation before answering in the affirmative, yes, they would like their barbecue smoked.

"This place is reknowned in this part of the galaxy for the best meat. Trust me you'll know when you taste it," Tallon grinned.

In the corner of the BBQ diner, underneath a hologram on the wall of the Max Rebo Quintet, sit a familiar face with one not so familiar. One is hunched over the plate with undulating tentacled mouthings as the saucy meat ripples into its maw. The other creature sitting across from her narrows the slits in its eyes as the three friends approach the table. It lifts its head to speak in a reptillian fanged hiss in a thinly veiled warmth.

"Tallon, so glad you could make it," the lizard-thing hisses with a maniacal grin. "Ssssit down and join ussss, old friend, have a beer, let us-ss-ss talk business-ss-ss."

Tallon feels a wrench of vertigo, and without a moment wasted, he instantly whips out his blaster, teeth gritting in abject hate, and points it at the Kowakkian lizard creature he knows to be El Puerco, sitting next to, of all people, Senator Toonbuck Toors.

 

Beenca draws both of her blasters after seeing her man draw on the one known as El Puerco. She thinks to herself in that split second that there is no way any being is going to harm her Tallon....

 

The reprehensible scum of an evil lizard Kowakkian was known by many names. ElPuerco was just one of them, used for the bacon and barbecue trade he held tightly in his fist.

Dragonsmouth was another, used by Toonbuck Toors to describe the hot, spicy bantha poodoo sticks he controlled with a ruthless hand. He controlled everything and everyone in his path. Zitter was its given name, and only Tallon knew that. "What do you want, Zitter?"

"Your control. Now. Thisss moment." It was not known for being slow, and especially in this scenario, and it drew its turbolazer blaster faster than the Catharian, and fired.

The bluewhite flash licked her slacks and a burning smell of fur and clothing mixed in the air. Beenca crumpled to the floor, grabbing her leg and writhing in agony, holding her thigh.

"That's for messing with Noom on that DuRakkian bacon plant, fff-ffeline," it hissed.

Beenca looks at the lizard from the floor with her fangs showing in rage, now realizing where the direction from the highest bidder came to that bounty hunter. Hundreds of innocent duRakkians paid the ultimate price in that explosion.

"So you used Noom." Beenca hissed back.

Tallon drops his own weapon and picks up his kitty in his arms, screaming for a medic and a bacta tank. His mind goes back to the time just 14 hours ago when they went to the secret location on the Eno One River, and by the hicoryoak trees and the rushing waterfall joyously tumbling over the rocks, they began to pledge their bond, consumated their love and married privately on that spot. The hollyhoneysickle vines perfumed the air.

Reality is washing back to Tallon as he wakes himself from the memory. Beenca waves Tallon off with a don't-worry-it's-just-a-flesh-wound dismissal.

ElPuerco laughs a meniacal hissing laugh, its forked tongue licking its lips. "Get up. We have lotssss of business-ss-ss to diss-ss-cuss."

Several Kowakkian thugs come out of the shadows, each with blasters trained on the three friends.

The Rocket Red Hot and Blue BBQ joint is not used to this kind of shenanegans, and soon the staff of the BBQ replies to the threat in a hail of clicks, sizzles, and hums of lightsabers, blasters, and servodroid miniturbo cannons whereupon an uneasy truce enters in.

Toonbuck Toors gets up from the table and wings Tallon, but Beenca is unable to respond. "You idiot, Tallon, you're going to blow this opportunity."

Tallon replies, "I thought I could trust you.
Toonbuck. Why are you with this bacon grease thug?"

ElPuerco replies, "I'm going to make you an offer, and lisssten once. You are going to work for me. For eonssss the Kuatan guild of privateerssss were once feared in the galaxy for their swiftness-ss, but no longer. My team of crack baconian and barbecueian nabbers have an eye on all the pork linksss. I want you to convince your guild of piratessss to merge with my team. If you do, then you'll have a post in my command. If you don't, you and all your friends-ss will be s-sssorry. "

"You have 24 hourss-ss. here's my com ssignal address-ss." The entourage of the Kowakkians turn and leave.

"Zitter." Says Tallon.
"Yes-ss?"
"You are an evil, manipulative, worthless piece of work, and a lowlife scumbag. I'll see you die before we give in. The entire might of the Sprinkle Empire may come down on you, but not before I get my hands on your scrawy little reptillian neck and wring the life out of it. You hurt my lady love and killed hundreds of DuRakkians for your filthy greed. Go to Kartawk."

"Sssuch bravado," said the Kowakkian with an upturned eyelid. "You're telling me to go to Kartawk? I already own it." It spins on its jackbooted heel and leaves.

The medic arrives with a portable bacta tank and attends to Beenca's wound.

 

In rage the senator draws his blast sword and suddenly several of toonbuck's mouteh tentacles are writhing on the floor along with her arm. "You piece of kowackian slime how dare you." He then procedes to charge after the retreating Kowakians and shows them why Du'Rakians are considered the best swordfighters in the galaxy. After killing all but zitter, he corners the kowakian monkey lizard. "How dare you. Attack the Du'Rakian bacon processing plant. For the deaths of the Du'Rakian citizens, you shall pay with your life." A tremendous battle erupts where there is large ammounts of property damage and much bodily injury as both of the combatants "discuss" the situation. Finally after an hour of combat, zitter realizes that he is overmatched and pulls a stun grenade and drops it on the ground while bounding to a rooftop. The grenade goes off and the Senator is caught in the area of effect and drops like a sack of bricks. Zitter has already fled toward s his transport and flees the planet leaving the senator unconscious on the ground in the middle of the devastation caused by their duel.

 

Before the medics arrive, Beenca is trying not to show her loving man how much pain she is in. As she is lying there on the floor in Tallon's arms, she manages to gather all of her strength to get off one blaster shot at El Puerco. She is fading to unconsciousness when she sees that her shot connected with the lizard's shoulder....

 

Tallon cradles Beenca in his arms and kisses her deeply, tears streaming down his face midst the chaos around him and as she fires her blaster and wounds the object of everyone's hatred, he says to Beenca, "Great shot kitty, that was one in a million!" She shakes her head no, and nods, that was one for you, Tallon, but I didn't nail the slimeball. I only needed one shot. She passes out into unconsciousness.

Just before the lizard gets away on his transport and blasts off, holding its shoulder oozing a puke green blood, it turns and bares its trademark look of distain, an intense look that could melt cobalt through its slitted eyes.

Tallon knows that if there is going to be any peace left in this sector, he'll have to seek it with some help from others...

 

Zitter steps off of its transport, green ooze dripping from between its slimy fingers on its shoulder, and into its lair spiking waves of Kowakkian gasses to ease its pain, but not its fury. It reviews a deck of multicolored companels that monitor his contriband runs of bacon thru the sectors, noding at the comlink sending in data that confirms what he knows is true. It controls more and more pork links, and now it sets out in its plan for the team of Spunpatch, DoSine, and Kaaardgamer... a dastardly plan that will set into motion the final battle for supremacy over the Sprinkle Empire,
It starts with Toonbuck Toors. It wires her in the medic vac to get out there and execute the plan. Toonbuck nods in agreement. The comlink is broken...

The Kuatan medic attends to Beenca Spunpatch and Tallon Kaardgamer. She awakens with a newfound seething at this wretch of a lizard that wounded her and her love. Seeing that she was ok, he steps away after getting the comaddress of the ithorian.

Tallon taps his wrist comlink and makes a call to the one he never thought he would contact. Noom, are you there?