JCC The Fecal Force

Discussion in 'Community' started by SLR, May 25, 2004.

  1. ask-the-younglings Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2004
    star 5
    [face_laugh]
  2. Krusty_the_Clone Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2006
    star 4
  3. Mortimer_Snerd Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    Long, stringy, and burning turds today, accompanied by a symphony of farts.

    Good day so far.

  4. Eeth-my-Koth Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2001
    star 9
    Had what looked like solid logs, but when I flushed there was a brown explosion as if the logs were stuffed with firecrackers.
  5. Mortimer_Snerd Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    That gives me an excellent idea as to how I should deal with the dog turds in the back yard.

  6. Krusty_the_Clone Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2006
    star 4
    Just don't stand too close
    or get somebody else to stand next to it.
  7. Only-One Cannoli Ex-Mod

    Member Since:
    Aug 20, 2003
    star 7
    I thought you people might appreciate this - I was at my first day of work today, and someone walked in front of me then very loudly and wetly crapped their pants. :( Wish I was joking.
  8. SLR Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 20, 2002
    star 5
  9. duende Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2006
    star 5
    you should feel blessed!
  10. Mortimer_Snerd Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    Yesterday and today my turds have very light in color...kind of a light beige...the kind of color I would paint a kitchen.

    They also sank like stones. Odd.

    I once sat next to a guy on the subway who wetly crapped himself...it was stellar.

  11. block Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 5
    Did you high five him?
  12. Mortimer_Snerd Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
  13. Krusty_the_Clone Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2006
    star 4
    I've a turtle head licking the back of my knee. Might need to get rid of it.
  14. Mortimer_Snerd Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    This morning's dump was magnificent! It was almost orange in color and had the scent of a thousand rotting carcasses in a swamp. It took two flushes to get the toilet to gulp it all down, and I am proud to say that there is a massive skidmark on the back of the bowl waiting to be observed and appreciated by the kids when they get home.

  15. block Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 5
    It normally takes a lot to gross me out, but for whatever reason, reading about orange turds while eating mac-n-cheese was damn near gag worthy today.
  16. Jack1138 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2005
    star 5
    Saturday afternoon was strange. I went to the movies with family and friends to see Transformers 3. My stomach was rumbling through the film.

    We go out for lunch afterward and I cannot wait any longer. Thing is with this place is that music is played over the PA system and is a bit louder in the restroom.

    So as I am going to conduct 'business' Dire Straits "Money for Nothing" starts to play. Very strange.

    "I Want My MTV....." The song is building up as I am. As soon as the main riff hit my rear end exploded. It was messy and not too cool. (Pizza and beer NEVER come out well.)

    This place had REALLY thin paper. I will never hear this song the same way again! [face_laugh]
  17. BLACKJEBUS Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2002
    star 4
    My dump this morning was strange... it had the color and consistency of chunky peanut butter, and it formed a curled pile in the bowl like it was coming out of a soft-serve ice cream machine. This strange poo also burned my anus slightly, and it's difficult to say if it was a peppery chemical in my turds, or if the chunks scraped my anal o-ring.
  18. Mortimer_Snerd Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    Lol!

    Sorry Andrew. In reality though, it's probably best to not peruse this thread while eating. That said, this has been a busy few days. I went scuba diving on Thursday, and canoeing and snorkeling yesterday. Lots of time in and on the water, so at the end of the day it's time to eat. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your pov) my water activities always seem to include a lot of beer and marijuana, so when it's chow time we wind up desperately needing greasy burgers or burritos, and they never fail to produce epic toilet art.

    Today's dump was darker in color and dense. It was like pooping lead. It stank up the bathroom pretty good, but the most enjoyable part was that intense feeling of relief. Almost, but not as nice as the post-orgasm feeling.

  19. BLACKJEBUS Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2002
    star 4
    A nice thick mud snake crawled its way out of my rectum over the lunch hour today. I wish I had a scale to weigh myself before and after, because I bet that sucker was at least 2 pounds.
  20. duende Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2006
    star 5
    stool has been extremely soft-to-liquid for a full 48 hours now, and has fully torched my anus (this due to several successive meals incorporating red peppers and various hot sauces). it has been a pleasurable experience, but i'm looking forward to my output regaining its usual firmness.
  21. Mortimer_Snerd Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    Over the past few weeks I've had what I like to call "evening plops." I've found that I usually take a dump around 7:00pm, and I am often visiting my friend Scott around that time, as we're more than likely returning to his house after an afternoon on the boat. It's been wonderful making a semi-habit of crapping in his unvented bathroom and leaving the door open so he may enjoy the aroma.

    Yesterday I entered his bathroom at about 7:30 and found that he had removed the toilet paper in anticipation of my usual gift. I was annoyed, but had to congratulate him for an excellent move. I will now bring toilet paper with me when I go to his house.

    I haven't the heart to upperdeck him yet.

  22. EBSaints Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 29, 2002
    star 6
    A few weeks ago, we brought my 4 year old to see a play "How I Became a Pirate." Anyway, there's part of the play where the other pirates are teasing the captain because he sleeps under the poop deck. My son has been talking about the poop deck ever since.
  23. BLACKJEBUS Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2002
    star 4
    I took another spicy, anal-searing crap this afternoon. It looked unremarkable, but the smell was absolutely grotesque. It made me think of a semi truck losing its load of raw eggs in a garlic farm on a hot day.
  24. Mortimer_Snerd Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    "You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to." -- Louis C.K

  25. BLACKJEBUS Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2002
    star 4
    My poop this morning was mushy, yet very easy to wipe. It was a satisfying experience. It smelled like there was saurkraut in it.