JCC The Fecal Force

I just ordered the last copy of that book from Amazon. Review coming soon.

 

I eagerly await this review.

In other news, I had a very farty morning, as I usually do as my bowels prepare for the daily release, but today's morning dump consisted of small stringy sinkers. The bouquet was foul enough but the overall sense of relief was...unsatisfying.

 

Last night I ate barbecued jerk pork loin with some grilled corn and a home made salsa. I was delicious.

A few minutes ago I crapped out a squishy, hot turd that felt like a spicy milkshake. My anus feels like I used it to open a bottle of tobasco sauce.

 

I open all of my condiments that way.

 

My anal sphincter is too loose to actually open one.

 

I discovered goji berries a couple of days ago, they have made my crap a little softer than usual.

Evil.

 

How about a jar of pickles?

 

Am I going nuts or did Darth Horax post a page or so ago?

 

I'm afraid I might lose the jar.

 

Got the book. Leafed through it. Looks quite promising. Never thought of some of these dumping positions.

 

Every relationship eventually comes down to this.

 

Evil.

 

I wanna marry that girl. She's my hero.

 

I'm sorry, you can't. That's my girl, and she's spoken for.

(She had me at "CUPPA CHEESE!")

 

My poo has been really hard the last couple days--makes it hurt when it comes out.

On the bright side, I'm eating lots of Craisins today in hopes that helps get things flowing! Mmm sweet deliciousness.

 

ouch!!!!!

 

My poo has been really hard the last couple days--makes it hurt when it comes out.

On the bright side, I'm eating lots of Craisins today in hopes that helps get things flowing! Mmm sweet deliciousness.

 

Still?

We had Chicken Kiev last night and this morning all of its buttery goodness came out in the form of light brown, foul-smelling, "blast-pop" sinkers.

 

Interesting. That posted again, a day later.

Anyway, it has gotten better. I had a nice, long, cleansing **** this morning.

 

I dropped a turd the other day that had a face.

 

What I left in the bowl this morning can best be described as "gravy spray."

 

My crap this morning was stringy, and looked a lot like I squeezed out an entire tube of dark green toothpaste into the toilet.

 

Jesus Christ this still exists?

Hmm, I am a founding member and yet I have chronic stomach problems and see a Gastroenterologist. I dishonor you, and myself.

 

Jebus, was it the glossy, smooth kind, or the gritty substantial kind? As for today, I have crapped twice. Once this morning when I woke up (didn't even have coffee yet) and exploded out about four thin potato-like turds, and then again after work I let out a less satisfying long soft log that sank to the bottom and only stuck out of the drain a few inches, so that I could not properly guage the length of the turd.

Also, OBK!!! Where have you been?!