Discussion in 'Community' started by SLR, May 25, 2004.
Gah, Yellow Submarine.
Today's was practically eternal. Twice I had to visit the cold cold outhouse, as the home I'm working on has no toilets/water service yet. I shall describe it as "The Neverending Story."
Today, I'd say "Gone in 60 seconds". I was in and out of that bathroom in less than a minute. Quite a feat considering the size of dump that I took.
"Take Aim and Fire" by GG ALLIN.
Double points for a song by a guy who took the majority of his dumps on stage in the middle of a concert.
And proceeded to throw the excrement at his audience.
Today's Fecal Matter Expulsion will forever be known as "Dark Water".
Children of the Corn.
On Golden Pond...
yup, that's all I've got for today.
Good ideas: garlic, "Thai hot" drunk noodle chicken
Bad ideas: apple juice, curry, and chocolate within a 1/2 hour time frame.
Had a cake with black black, super black frosting.
next day the bowl was bluish green.
"Monster in a Box" best describes what happened today. At every jobsite I work on there's an outhouse, as usually there are no functioning toilets installed yet, so we (the workers) get to experience the joy of pooping in an outhouse. Anyway, this morning the water in the outhouse was frozen over and I let slip a big steaming behemoth of a turd. I heard it hit the ice with a hollow "plop" followed by a slow fizzing melting noise as it slowly ate its way through the ice and sank into the murky blue...which I was able to watch as well.
It was nothing short of glorious.
beautiful. i don't think i've ever pooped in an outhouse, but i've hit up plenty o' porta-potties. there's something really wonderful about portas.
Yes portas are great.
Anecdotes like that make me wish I was back in college.
Yesterday morning I was working at my desk and felt the need to take a big dump. So I went to the bathroom stall to drop the kids off at the pool.
While I was quietly sitting on the toilet, butt relaxed, and had a long thick brownsnake halfway pushed out of my colon, the fire alarm suddenly went off. LOUD! In my startled state I clenched my anus, which "sucked" that long thick turd right back up my butt.
I couldn't re-crap it out while the alarm was blasting away, and I felt a considerable amount of pain on my o-ring. So I quickly wiped and hobbled, very uncomfortably, outdoors to the muster point. After we were let back inside the building, my butt ached and I couldn't poop again for a couple of hours. This has only happened to me once before, but that ruined my day.
I feel genuine sympathy for you man, but that made me laugh really hard.
Today's dump was like a never-ending stream of green oatmeal.
It didn't have much of a smell, though.
I must have been a naughty boy this year.
I've had the craps all day.
My dump this morning looked like I emptied a jar of jumbo pickles into the toilet. It smelled like an open carton of milk that was left in the sun for a week.
Your turds were green?
Yup, my turds were green.
Last night at around 10:00 pm I had a horrible bout of diarrhea. There was abdominal pain, farts, rancid smells, and I used up an entire roll of toilet paper before having to have a shower to properly clean myself. It was awful.
You should write romance novels man.
Today I was doing the post-Christmas chaos clean-up, and trying to locate all the stray Legos and little plastic things/parts of toys that made their way through the house over the last few days, and I had the urge to poop. Not just the standard "I gotta go" type urge, but the sudden "If I don't stand still and cross my legs there's gonna be a mess" type of urge. After enduring that sensation twice, I stopped what I was doing and high-tailed it to the toilet. It was one of those dumps that began its exit before my pants had reached my knees and my buttocks had touched the seat. Also it was soft, but explosive and came with a feeling of relief akin to coiling out a big log, yet when I looked back afterward, there was only a mass of cloudy brown water with a few bergs and clumpy little floaters. I'm sure the greater mass was hidden beneath the murky surface of the water, but to experience such a joyful sensation and be rewarded with little visual was just a wee bit frustrating.