JCC The Fecal Force

Discussion in 'Community' started by SLR, May 25, 2004.

  1. Eeth-my-Koth Chosen One

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2001
    star 9
  2. TahiriVeilaSolo69 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2002
    star 5
    So...I had to leave work today early because I haven't pooped in 3 days. I went and got some fruits and veggies at Whole Foods during my planning period and then suddenly...extremely painful pressure on the colon. I pretty much ran home and unleashed operation Colon Blow part uno as soon as I walked in. I even had to strip down naked for it from the poop sweats.

    Tell me of your stories in which you have had to leave work early, end a date, etc because of the poops.
    Eeth-my-Koth likes this.
  3. Eeth-my-Koth Chosen One

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2001
    star 9
    I poop at work like a true man.
    My commute home is too long. I don't want the poop sweats while stuck on a crowded train.
  4. A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Riot Deterrent

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Aug 19, 2003
    star 7
    ^^ Sounds glorious ^^. (Tahinisaucewhatevername)

    Aside from ingredient-related color changes or whatnot, I am still the most regular guy I know. It is business as usual twice a day... where I catch up on my reading. This week's wonderpalette came courtesy of sitting at a sushi bar til midnight pounding Oshinko. It had the comparable effect of dropping glowsticks. High friggin art.
    Last edited by A Chorus of Disapproval, Mar 15, 2013
    Mortimer Snerd likes this.
  5. TahiriVeilaSolo69 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2002
    star 5
    I just don't have enough breaks throughout the day to poop. I have a solid 3.5 hours in the morning of straight teaching, then lunch, then around 1.5 hours of teaching and then planning. On Wednesday and Friday I have a planning period in the morning but sometimes the colon isn't ready to poop! gah!

    @A Chorus of Disapproval: Call me Eden
    Last edited by TahiriVeilaSolo69, Mar 15, 2013
  6. harpua Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 8
    How are you able to leave work with that kind of schedule? Do you go to the office and ask them to call a sub in because you've got to take a monster ****? :p
    Last edited by harpuah, Mar 15, 2013
  7. Todd the Jedi Mod and Sitcom Dad of SWTV

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2008
    star 5
    I recently found out that a friend of mine never poops anywhere but his house. He doesn't have OCD or germophobia, so I cannot explain this odd occurrence.
  8. A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Riot Deterrent

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Aug 19, 2003
    star 7
    I drop at work. I work from home. I may or may not be typing this from my "library".
    TahiriVeilaSolo69 likes this.
  9. TahiriVeilaSolo69 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2002
    star 5
    Well...I am very comfortable with my fellow English teachers and I straight up told them what the situation was. Then they were able to scramble together to cover my last two classes today. One of my colleagues has been texting me about how the dump is coming along. To be honest, I spend more of my day with them than with my man (:().
  10. Mortimer Snerd Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 27, 2012
    star 4
    The only thing that makes me want a smart phone would be to update this thread.

    With pictures.
  11. Eeth-my-Koth Chosen One

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2001
    star 9
    How is that a bad thing? I know your man. He's like a giant walking turd.
  12. TahiriVeilaSolo69 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2002
    star 5
    But I like to snuggle him, even though he acts like a turd sometimes.
  13. A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Riot Deterrent

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Aug 19, 2003
    star 7
    That final time I was banned from here, I actually got the banscreen while sitting on the toilet. Fitting, in a sense...
  14. TahiriVeilaSolo69 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2002
    star 5
    SHUT UP! I had the same thing happen to me!!
    Healer_Leona likes this.
  15. anakinfansince1983 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2011
    star 7
    Is his name Paul Finch?

    Put a laxative in his mochaccino so he has to **** so badly that he does it in the ladies' room.
  16. AAAAAH Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2012
    star 4
    some blackmailers have threatened to place feces-contaminated cans of red bull in grocery stores in order to punish red bull for some reason. i have never consumed red bull but i would absolutely drink it from a can slathered with fecal matter.
    Arawn_Fenn likes this.
  17. Mortimer Snerd Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 27, 2012
    star 4
    So I made chili the other day. I had six hours to do crock-pot chili, but I forgot to soak the beans overnight. I had to do the "quick-prep" method and boil the beans for five minutes, which of course didn't work well and even after six hours in the crock-pot my chili still had somewhat undercooked beans. Not crunchy, but not soft either.

    If you love to fart like I do...I mean really love to fart, prepare beans this way. They're not as much fun to eat but the results are worth it.
  18. AAAAAH Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2012
    star 4
    i heard a guy release a nine-second-or-so fart today. it was like a fart sentence - started up high and slowly, slowly went down in pitch. then at the very end, there was a short flourish that made me think of an exclamation point at the end of the sentence. it was quite brilliant. i wish i understood what that fart was saying.
  19. Mortimer Snerd Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 27, 2012
    star 4
    Reason # 976 why I totally love my girlfriend: Whenever I Dutch Oven her she usually does it back. One time she put a little too much effort into her rebuttal (I used that word on purpose) and sharted. Amidst her shrieks of horror and the running to the bathroom, there was still laughter.

    The ring is almost paid for.
  20. AAAAAH Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2012
    star 4
    do not ever let her go.
    Mortimer Snerd likes this.
  21. Mortimer Snerd Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 27, 2012
    star 4
    I shan't. I used that word on purpose too.
  22. Arawn_Fenn Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2004
    star 7
    That seems a tad presumptuous.
  23. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    I don't have any cool poop stories. :(
  24. JangoMike Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 13, 2003
    star 4
    I was once a member.....long ago.....
  25. harpua Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 8
    Poop Calculator!

    My Stats:

    Number of times you have gone poop in your lifetime:
    18,829
    times


    Number of poop logs you have produced in your lifetime:
    62,136
    logs

    Number of times you have had explosive diarrhea:
    941
    times


    If we stacked your poop, end to end, it would have reached the top of the Empire State Building:
    5
    times


    Number of times you have sharted:
    9
    times


    Number of times you have wiped:
    94,146
    times


    Amount of toilet paper used:
    1,883
    rolls


    Number of trees killed by pooping if you don't use recycled paper:
    1.88
    trees



    Number of times you have flushed the toilet:
    19,771
    times



    Amount of water you have used from flushing:
    31,633
    gallons



    Amount of times you have ran out of toilet paper before you finished wiping:
    160
    times



    Amount of times you have farted while pooping:
    33,893
    times



    Amount of times you have clogged the toilet
    103
    times



    Amount of days you have spent pooping:
    105
    days

    Last edited by harpuah, Jun 12, 2013
    Frank T. likes this.