JCC The Fecal Force

I'd post the link but I have a feeling it'd be just a touch too graphic for these boards, even though it's not technically outside the boundaries of the TOS. I figure why risk it. Anyway just google "monkey rapes frog" and click on the first youtube link that pops up.

You will not be disappointed.

Provided you're a depraved and soulless degenerate like me who does well with a bit of schadenfreude.

 

I've just watched some chimp-frog lovin'... nature is srsly messed up!

 

AWESOME strongman competition today. I got 4th place in the under 90kg (200lb) category in a very strong field. Laurence Shahlei, 2x Britain's Strongest Man was referee and said the top competitors are good enough to win national events. Proud to have gone toe to toe with them and to have given them a run for their money! Feel like I've been hit by a truck right now but I have a huge smile on my face :-D

Oh, poop, yeah... right before these events there's always a rush for the toilet. It's a primal thing. High adrenaline; the body flushes in case of wounding.

 

congrats, pete! sounds like you're on your way!

i pupped a big six-incher a little while ago. reddish-brown in color. i love dropping these because when you flush, they spin around like a pinwheel for a bit, then are bent and broken in half as they are pulled into the s-bend. fabulous.

 

What's not so fabulous is hauling out the toilet brush and cleaning up the skid marks that they leave behind.

 

For the past few years I have been taking my iPod into the washroom with me to listen to music with and now I can't take a dump without it. I have been unwittingly conditioned by Apple to need their products for bowel movements. Well played, Steve Jobs. Well played.

 

Double post

 

Triple post

 

Who has time for that?

I just pee them off the next time I'm in there.

 

My poops have been less glorious since I had the flu.

 

And the bits that don't come off with pee have earned the right to stay. Over time they form what's known as a 'patina' to the connoisseur.

Edit - given that I've decided this doubles as the strength & conditioning thread (because lifting and pooping are gentlemanly) EVERYTHING HURTS LIKE A *******'S *******. Now work is finally over I'm off to find the strongest over-the-counter painkillers I can lay my hands on.

 

Hi Dave, Hi Pete.

 

Hey Harps!

 

Like a boss.

 

I've taken the week off from the gym and cut my food intake to about 2500kcal/day. Poop volume has suffered... can't wait to get back and start eating properly again tomorrow.

 

I've got a good one brewing right now, trying to hold off until I'm prairie dogging for maximum effect.

EDIT: Here's a funny fecal related story I just happened upon. Warning - language!

Evil.

 

That's a great idea, reserve it 'til you've got a record breaker. Reminds me of a Derek and Clive record.

**extreme language and offensive content warning**

 

^ mods, I'm using tapatalk, seems to have embedded even though I posted as a link... can you fix?

Tender folk of the JCC, do not hit play in the meantime, thx

 

lol, what?

It ended up coming out in three pieces, each about 5 inches long and narrower than the last. But is was in there so long that now I feel empty without it.

Evil.

 

A few of my friends hold world records for kettlebell sport, grip strength and deadlift. I've started too late to be world class in a strength sport but maybe I can get into the guinness book with some kind of herculean pooping feat... where's my thinking/pooping cap?

 

That is a noble goal.

Evil.

 

I just pooped and I gained weight. WTF.

 

Announcement today that the statue I've been modelling for has won a prize. Just a little maquette/sketch at this point but the prize is a wad of cash to produce a half size bronze to go on permanent display at a gallery in the city.

It's meant to be Odysseus as a beggar on his return to Ithaca but I like to think of it as me offering a handful of invisible poop to the world.

 

Poop.....rocket fuel

 

I'm thinking about starting up a poop blog with pictures on tumblr or some other blogging site. Would you guys be interested?

Evil.

 

Poop boards!

 

Hi Harps! (I won't post the huggy emoticon, but rest assured I am sending big hugs anyway!)

So...today I got to work and let out what was giving me trouble on the drive in. The problem was that I was the first person in the building and I had to disable the alarm. I have only 60 seconds to do so, and I had to stop halfway across the warehouse to do the cross-legged-keep-the-turd-in pause for about 20 seconds before I could safely walk again.

I made it without the police being summoned, but it was close. I may be a few minutes late tomorrow and not risk another close call by pooping at home.