Arena The Fifth Basketball Draft (Winner: Point Given!)

It's About Damn Time (IADT) roster:
Wilt Chamberlain '62/'63
Wilt Chamberlain '68/'69
LeBron James '12/'13
Charles Barkley '87/'88
Chris Paul '08/'09
Anfernee Hardaway '95/'96
Kawhi Leonard '15/'16
Scottie Pippen '98/'99
Ray Allen '10/'11
Horace Grant '91/'92
Serge Ibaka '13/'14
Michael Redd '02/'03

G League:
Anthony Bennett '13/'14
Brian Scalabrine '04/'05
Darius Miles '01/'02
Andrei Kirilenko '03/'04

Arena: American Airlines Arena (Miami)
Head coach/player/de facto GM: LeBron
Assistant coaches: James Jones, Mike Miller, Big Z.

Minutes in parentheses:
PG:
Chris Paul '08/'09 (38)
Anfernee Hardaway '95/'96 (10)
LeBron James '12/'13 (0)

SG:
Kawhi Leonard '15/'16 (20)
Scottie Pippen '98/'99 (14)
Ray Allen '10/'11 (14)
Michael Redd '02/'03 (0)

SF:
LeBron James '12/'13 (28)
Kawhi Leonard '15/'16 (12)
Scottie Pippen '98/'99 (8)
Ray Allen '10/'11 (0)

PF:
Charles Barkley '87/'88 (38)
LeBron James '12/'13 (10)
Horace Grant '91/'92 (0)
Serge Ibaka '13/'14 (0)

C:
Wilt Chamberlain '62/'63 (30)
Wilt Chamberlain '68/'69 (18)
Horace Grant '91/'92 (0)
Serge Ibaka '13/'14 (0)

 

Should have them up tomorrow, if my lunch hour cooperates.

 

A Shaq of the Clones

Arena: NBA on TNT set
Coach: Shaq
Assistant Coaches: Steve from Stranger Things, Ernie, Kenny, Kazaam



Since I can't have Suns Shaq I'll drop Kevin for the preseason match to create this line-up:

PG: Shaq 94-95 (48 min)
SG: Shaq 99-00 (48 min)
SF: Shaq 04-05 (48 min)
PF: Shaq 09-10 (48 min)
C: Shaq 10-11 (48 min)

2016 Honorary Cavs Championship Bench

PG: Kyrie Irving 16-17 / Ty Lue 98-99 / Larry Drew 87-88
SG: Mo Williams 02-03 / DeAndre Liggins 12-13
SF: JR Smith 04-05
PF: Richard Jefferson 02-03 / Richard Jefferson 11-12 wearing a t-shirt of Lil Kev's face instead of a Warriors jersey
C: Kevin Love 16-17

Friends of Shaq Who Might Also Be Doctors

Giannis Antetokounmpo 16-17
James Erving 80-81

Chuck

Chuck 96-97

 

Los Angeles Courtsiders


Arena:







Coach:






Starters:

PG/SG: Magic Johnson, '86-'87 (32 minutes)
F: Elgin Baylor, '61-'62 (20 minutes)
C: Hakeem Olajuwon, '93-'94 (30 minutes)
SF: Tracy McGrady, '04-'05 (19 minutes)
PG: Oscar Robertson, '70-'71 (15 minutes)



Bench:

PG: Mark Price, '88-'89 (12 minutes)
PF: Dennis Rodman, '96-'97 (12 minutes)
C/PF: Nate Thurmond, '67-'68 (10 minutes)
SG: Dennis Scott, '91-'92 (5 minutes)
C: Chris Bosh, '11-'12 (10 minutes)
SG/SF: Vince Carter, '06-'07 (0)
C: Steven Adams, '16-'17 (8 minutes)
SF: Adrian Dantley, '82-'83 (0)
SG/SF: Andre Iguodala, '07-'08 (0)
PG: Chris Paul, '13-'14 (15 minutes)
SG: Tyreke Evans, '14-'15 (0)

 

Only thing I could spot wrong on the spreadsheet was Eric Bischoff is the Assistant Coach now instead of Alex Jones. But yeah, let's keep Pop on as well, if only for the possibility of a fistfight during every timeout (btw, the sponsor you assigned us is brilliant. Keeping that, too.). Oh and Jordan is 88-89, not 98-99. But it's not like the typo is an eligible year anyway.

new World order

Starting lineup:

C - Moses Malone (1978-79)
PF - Kevin McHale (1986-87)
SF - Larry Bird (1984-85)
SG - Kobe Bryant (2005-06)
PG - Michael Jordan (1988-89)

Bench Mob:

C - Brad Daugherty (1991-92)
PF/C - Kevin Garnett (2007-08)
SF/PF - Billy Cunningham (1969-70)
SG/SF - Rick Barry (1974-75)
SG/SF - Glen Rice (1994-95)
SG/PG - Manu Ginobili (2007-08)
PG - Jason Kidd (2002-03)

G-League:

C - DeMarcus Cousins (2016-17)
PF/C - Paul Mokeski (1984-85)
PG/SG/SF - Grant Hill (2004-05)
PG - Derek Fisher (2013-14)

It was torture putting Hill in a suit for the time being. Pistons Hill would've gotten some playing time for sure. Just couldn't not play Ginobili.

Minutes assignment:

PG - Michael Jordan 88-89 (30 min), Jason Kidd 02-03 (10 min), Manu Ginobili 07-08 (8 min)
SG - Kobe Bryant 05-06 (30 min), Glen Rice 94-95 (10 min), Michael Jordan 88-89 (8 min)
SF - Larry Bird 84-85 (28 min), Rick Barry 74-75 (20 min)
PF - Kevin McHale 86-87 (24 min), Kevin Garnett 07-08 (16 min), Billy Cunningham 69-70 (8 min)
C - Moses Malone 78-79 (28 min), Brad Daugherty 91-92 (20 min)

Excited to see if Daugherty can hold his own against the mob of Russell, Gilmore and Moses. Should be one helluva test.

 

Pre-Season Power Rankings

(8) a star war

Tim Hardaway (1990-91)
Lebron James (2008-09)
Anthony Mason (2000-01)
Scottie Pippen (1994-95)
Vin baker (1996-97)
Hedo Turkoglu (2007-08)
Artis Gilmore (1982-83)
Dennis Rodman (1993-94)
Rick Barry (1971-72)
Jeff Green (2009-10)
John Stockton (1990-91)
Karl Malone (1990-91)
Dikembe Mutombo (2000-01)
DeAndre Jordan (2014-15)
Elton Brand (2006-07)
Tyson Chandler (2006-07)

This feels a lot like Lebron in Cleveland the first time around. If I sit and look at the pieces individually, I can convince myself that it adds up to something more. But when I compare it to the pieces on the other teams around it, it comes up a little bit short. I can't find anywhere - Backcourt, Frontcourt, Depth - where I value this team as significantly having an advantage. The pieces might work well once assembled, but I have my doubts - it feels like a jigsaw puzzle with nothing but corners and edges.

(7) tom

Steph Curry (2015-16)
World B Free (1984-85)
Alonzo Mourning (1999-00)
Jimmy Butler (2016-17)
Ray Allen (2000-01)
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (1976-77)
Tracy McGrady (2002-03)
Isaiah Thomas (2016-17)
Yao Ming (2006-07)
David Robinson (1993-94)
Buck Williams (1982-83)
James Harden (2011-12)
Jeff Hornacek (1995-96)
Allen Iverson (2000-01)
Danny Manning (1992-93)
Anthony Davis (2014-15)

I do think the immediate depth on this team is one of the two best out there - Kareem and Harden as your sixth and seventh men just seems criminal. But, when I look at the other starting backcourts, I think Iverson and Curry start to fall a bit short, and I don't think the Frontcourt is spectacular when compared to the other teams. That's just simply because some of the other frontcourts are that damn good. I might have some recency bias and undervalue Tracy McGrady, forgetting just how good he was in his prime, driving down this rating. Also, can't deny, I'm probably rating your team this low because I hate Steph Curry.

(6) heels1785

Chris Mullin (1991-92)
Tim Hardaway (1996-97)
Derrick Rose (2010-11)
Artis Gilmore (1980-81)
Glenn Robinson (2000-01)
Steve Francis (2004-05)
Bill Russel (1963-64)
James Harden (2016-17)
Tim Duncan (2001-02)
Tony Parker (2008-09)
Julius Erving (1975-76)
Kevin Durant (2013-04)
Pete Maravich (1976-77)
Moses Malone (1982-83)
Bob McAdoo (1974-75)
Baron Davis (2003-04)

This was such a difficult team to evaluate. Compared to everyone else, the Frontcourt is just about average. The back court is just about average. The offense is just about average. The defense is just about average. The bench and depth is just about average. If you don't do anything significantly worse than the other teams, will you get beat often? If you don't do anything significantly better, will you win that often? This has the making of those teams that have a .333 win percentage, but a positive point differential - losing the close, tough games. But, could easily flip that, right?

(5) DarthTunick

Nate Thurmond (1967-68)
Mark Price (1988-89)
Chris Bosh (2011-12)
Dennis Rodman (1996-97)
Oscar Robertson (1970-71)
Magic Johnson (1986-87)
Elgin Baylor (1961-62)
Dennis Scott (1991-92)
Hakeem Olajuwan (03-04)
Tracy McGrady (2004-05)
Vince Carter (2006-07)
Steven Adams (2016-17)
Adrian Dantley (1982-83)
Andre Igoudala (2007-08)
Chris Paul (2013-14)
Tyreke Evans (2014-15)

It feels odd rating this team so low when it has my favorite backcourt in the game. Seriously. Oscar and Magic. That's the stuff that games like this are made for, to be able to think about those two running the show together. And, it's not that I don't like the Frontcourt, it's just that I like a few of the others ones a good bit better (though, again, I might be criminally underrated T-Mac). I worry a bit about the bench here, especially if foul trouble happens.

(4) LloydChristmas

Richard Jefferson (2011-12)
Kevin Love (2016-17)
Kyrie Irving (2016-17)
Shaquille O'Neal (2004-05)
Giannis Antetokounmpo (2016-17)
Tyrone Lue (1998-99)
Shaquille O'Neal (1999-00)
Shaquille O'Neal (1994-05)
Shaquille O'Neal (2010-11)
Charles Barkley (1996-97)
Richard Jefferson (2002-03)
Deandre Liggins (2012-13)
Mo Willaims (2002-03)
Dr. J (1980-81)
Larry Drew (1987-88)
J.R. Smith (2004-05)

From an entertainment standpoint, this team takes the cake. However, we can't overlook the potential negative that should come from Shaq and Shaq starting at 1 and 2. And yet, we also can't undersell the incredible paint presence and rim protection that comes from having Shaq and Shaq and the 4 and 5. Not that you'll use it, but behind the five Shaqs sits a pretty nice treasure trove of depth and talent - Dr J, Gianis, and Kyrie make a nice change of pace. I do wonder if we'll see Shaq feud with himself, and inevitably make a freestyle rap asking himself how various parts of his body taste.

(3) Dark Lord of the Empire

Wilt Chamberlain (1962-63)
Anthony Bennett (2013-14)
Lebron James (2012-13)
Horace Grant (1991-92)
Michael Redd (2002-03)
Wilt Chamberlain (1968-69)
Penny Hardaway (1995-96)
Ray Allen (2011-11)
Scottie Pippen (98-99)
Kawhi Leonard (2015-16)
Brian Scalabrine (2004-05)
Serge Ibaka (2013-14)
Adrei Kirilenko (2003-04)
Charles Barkley (1987-88)
Darius Miles (2001-02)
Chris Paul (2008-09)

Coinflip on ranking this one 2nd or 3rd. Love the Frontcourt of Lebron/Barkley/Wilt. Just fantastic. like the immediate bench of Wilt/Scottie, too. Love that you had some fun, too, with picks like the Asthmatic Fat Ass and the White Mamba. I have some questions on the starting backcourt, but again - mostly because the other teams have some absolutely phenomenal backcourts.

(2) Wang Chi

Rick Barry (1974-75)
Brad Daugherty (1991-92)
Glen Rice (1994-95)
Michael Jordan (1988-89)
Paul Mokeski (1984-85)
Kobe Bryant (2005-06)
Grant Hill (2004-05)
Larry Bird (1984-85
Kevin McHale (1986-87)
Kevin Garnett (2007-08)
Moses Malone (1978-79)
Manu Ginobli (2007-08)
Jason Kidd (2002-03)
Derek Fisher (2013-14)
Billy Cunningham (1969-70)
DeMarcus Cousins (2016-17)

My second-favorite backcourt, which gets you the nod for 2nd. Kobe and MJ together is a thing of beauty. I debated dropping a bit because I'm not as high on Bird/McHale in the simulator, but ultimately, found some reassurance in a still-good but not quite peak KG on the bench.

(1) PointGiven

Kevin Durant (2016-17)
Shawn Kemp (1998=99)
Dwyane Wade (2008-09)
Bob Love (1969-70)
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (1971-72)
Jerry West (1969-70)
Dwight Howard (2010-11)
Paul Pierce (2002-03)
Elvin Hayes (1968-69)
George Gervin (1979-80)
Drazen Petrovic (1992-93)
Russel Westbrook (2016-17)
Deron Williams (2008-09)
Wilt Chamberlain (1965-66)
Blake Griffin (2013-14)
David West (2007-08)

In my eyes, this team is the favorite. In a "league" with lots of great frountcourts, I consider Durant/Kareem/Wilt as the best, and I didn't need to think about it. The immediate help from the bench is middle of the road, but the scoring from Westbrook/Wade is phenomenal. The biggest threat to this team might be Kevin Durant quitting on them to join a team that beats them, any time they lose a game or a series.

 

Fake Bill Simmons planning on making an appearance after the "Pre-Season" games. Drop your questions to him via PM, they might make an appearance in the mailbag.

 

FA opens after preliminaries right? Changing Stockton to 88-89 and dropping Vin Baker for Moncrief, 83-84.


ABSOLUTE UNIT
Head Coach: David Morgan-Hewitt
Assistants to the Coach: Wyatt Koch, Wide Kyle
Arena: United Center, Chicago
Sponsor: http://tinyheadedkingdom.com/

Starting Five
1) John Stockton, PG (Jazz, 1988-1989)
2) LeBron James, GF (Cavaliers, 2008-2009)
3) Scottie Pippen, SF (Bulls, 1994-1995)
4) Karl Malone, PF (Jazz, 1990-91)
5) DeAndre Jordan, C (Clippers, 2014-2015)

Pre-season Squad
Tim Hardaway, PG (Warriors, 1990-1991)
Sidney Moncrief, SG (Bucks, 1983-1984)
Dennis Rodman, PF (Spurs, 1993-1994)
Rick Barry, F (Nets, 1971-1972)
Elton Brand, F (Clippers, 2006-2007)
Tyson Chandler, FC (NOLA, 2006-2007)

G-League
Dikembe Mutombo, C (Sixers, 2000-2001)
Jeff Green, PF (Thunder, 2009-2010)
Hedo Turkoglu, SF (Magic, 2007-2008)
Anthony Mason, PF (Heat, 2000-2001)

 

Yes. The order is:

Preliminary/Preseason Matches
Free Agency and Trades
Group Play
Playoffs

 

Pre-season Minutes for ABSOLUTE UNIT

PG) 1. John Stockton, 37min; 2. Tim Hardaway, 10min
SG) 1. LeBron James, 26min; 2. Sidney Moncrief, 20min
SF) 1. Scottie Pippen, 37min; 2. LeBron James, 11min; 3. Rick Barry, 0min
PF) 1. Karl Malone, 21min; 2. Elton Brand, 17min; 3. Dennis Rodman, 10min
C) 1. DeAndre Jordan, 30min; 2.Tyson Chandler, 18min

 

I'm fine with being rated low. This that moneyball. This that Role player paradise. This that defenses winning championships.

 

I chose it because it has the most capacity to fit your large sons.

 

And the Pre-Season Tournament, brought to you by Hogwarts' Sorting Hat begins in Chicago ...

It's About Damn Time 106, ABSOLUTE UNIT 102
Play-by-Play
Box Score

ABSOLUTE UNIT needed a stop in the final minute to give themselves a chance to win this game. Ultimately, they couldn't get one, allowing It's About Damn Time to escape with the win.

Pulling within 2 with 51 seconds left, ABSOLUTE UNIT could get no closer, as Charles Barkley and Wilt Chamberlain each scored buckets to cancel out two field goals from LeBron James, and keep them at bay. A pair of free throws by Chamberlain with 5 seconds left added the final margin, with James missing a three at the buzzer that would have narrowed the gap, but not changed the outcome.

ABSOLUTE UNIT will rue their free throw shooting, hitting only 60% (12-of-20) from the Charity Stripe, in a game where they outshot It's About Damn Time 53% to 49% from the field, and 22% to 18% from downtown.

It's About Damn Time were lead by a monster game from Charles Barkley, who poured in 19 points and pulled down 12 rebounds - five of them on the offensive glass - while adding 5 assists. LeBron James just missed out on a Triple Double, scoring 16, grabbing 11 rebounds, and dishing out 8 assists. Wilt Chamberlain - the starter -0 added 28 points and 12 rebounds, while Wilt the Reserve as held to 4 points (and 3 turnovers) in his 17 minutes.

For ABSOLUTE UNIT, their Lebron lead the way with a near triple double of his own, scoring 18, grabbing 8 rebounds, and dishing out 8 assists. Scottie Pippen added 22 points, 8 rebounds, and 7 assists, while John Stockton dished out 12 assists and scoring 10 points.

With the win, It's About Damn Time will go to the Grantland Memorial League for Group Play, while ABSOLUTE UNIT will be sent to the Talents in South Beach League.

 

We only get one game? I thought it was a series.

 

And the Preseason rolls on, this time to the set of the NBA on TNT (Theoretically located in Richfield, OH)

the honolulu humuhumunukunukuapua a 110, A Shaq of the Clones 82
Full Box Score
Play-by-Play

As it turns out, starting Shaquille O'Neal five times is a big problem. For the team of Shaqs, at least.

While the Five Shaqs powered their team to an impressive 60-51 rebounding an edge and an astounding 20-5 edge on the offensive glass, the team shot just 34.7% from the field and - predictably - struggled from the charity stripe.

Their opponents, meanwhile, had no such issues, shooting 48.8% from the line, and scoring inside and out. David Robinson lead the way with an efficient 25 points on 8-of-12 shooting from the field and a perfect 9-for-9 from the foul line, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar added 12 points, 15 rebounds, and 7 assists from the bench, and Allen Iverson, Tracy McGrady, and Steph Curry all scored in double figures as well.

Mistakes plagued A Shaq of the Clones, as they were pressured into 14 turnovers, including 10 steals from the honolulu humuhumunukunukuapua a. Kevin Love had a particularly bad night to forget, jacking up 6 triples, and missing all but one of his nine field goals, while turning it over twice. Shaquille O'Neal was the leading scorer with 15 points and 9 rebounds, with Shaquille O'Neal adding 14 points and 10 rebound, and another 13 poitns and 11 rebounds from Shaquille O'Neal.

With the win, the honolulu humuhumunukunukuapua a goes to the Grantland Memorial League for Group Play, while A Shaq of the Clones will be sent to the Talents in South Beach League.

 

DAMNIT KEVIN WHY WERE YOU PLAYING UR NOT A SHAQ

 

He lost it for you.

 

Four out of five Shaqs in serious foul trouble. They lack discipline!

 

This might be my favorite sentence I've ever typed on these boards, FYI. Even with the typo.