Saga The Fighting Kind: Captain Rex/OC, Romance/Drama, COMPLETE as of 5/19/14

Congrats on the win as well. Brenna and Rex rocks.

 

Thank you so much for all of your support!

 

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@Nyota's Heart: Thank you again! I'm so glad you're enjoying this story. YOU rock! ​

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Chapter Twenty-Four​

Two weeks later...

As much as Rex enjoyed spending the night with Brenna, there were usually a number of obstacles that prevented such a thing; on this particular evening, it was Marliss' imminent return from her shift rotation. Far sooner than he would have liked, Rex found himself kissing the brown-haired woman goodbye at her door, trying not to linger too long.

It was difficult.

Finally they parted and she gave him a look that was edged with regret, which he figured was mirrored in his own eyes. “So, I'll see you tomorrow?”

“Definitely...matter-of-fact, I have a surprise for you,” he added before bending his head to kiss her again. When he was able to pull himself away, he gave her a half-smile that he knew she would appreciate.

“Sweet dreams,” she said with a smile.

“They will be,” he replied, feeling a thrill of satisfaction as she flushed under his gaze. Flirting was not something he ever thought he'd be good at; as it turned out he was a natural. Another kiss on her cheek, then he turned away from her and began to make his way down the corridor that led from her cabin, which had become quite familiar by now.

Actually the entire rhythm of his and Brenna's relationship had become natural; when he wasn't needed elsewhere he was able to spend time with her, even if it was only in the observation room or a brief meeting anywhere they could, for as long as they could. The pattern of his life, while never boring, had suddenly become agreeably familiar.

If he hadn't been a soldier fighting in an increasingly desperate war, life would have been about as close to perfect as he'd ever considered it could be.

The War. It dogged his steps, closer than any shadow, and the thought of the fighting turned his mood dour. Although things had been on a fairly even keel since Halmad, with no other major battles taking place save for a few minor skirmishes that were easily manageable, every time that Rex drew his blasters, he couldn't stave off the doubts and questions that had never ceased to gnaw at him and had only become more insistent in recent months.

When Rex reached the barracks, he was greeted with a number of sounds he'd not heard in a long time, sounds that made him frown and give a deep inhale as he squared his shoulders before entering the room. The moment he slipped within the rows of bunks, his eyes fell on a group of troopers in the far corner, armored and not, standing in a loose circular formation and letting out a selection of jeers, yells and “atta-boys.” As he crossed the room, Rex's pace was swift; he couldn't see who was fighting whom, but a moment later he heard...

“Good one, Tup!”

With a grimace that he immediately forced back behind a veneer of calm, Rex approached the disorderly group and barked out his words with every bit of authority he could muster. “Stand down, troopers!”

Instantly, every clone in the room quieted, and Rex elbowed his way through the ranks to the two men at the center of the group who had broken apart but were still facing one another, crouched low and breathing heavily with anger in their eyes.

The moment that Tup's gaze fell on Rex, a look of chagrin swept over the younger man and he straightened into a formal posture. As for the Spaarti clone – Four Four, if Rex remembered, the fellow from the first batch of Spaartis that Ahsoka had 'named' – he shot Tup a final glare but saluted the officer, who stood between them for a moment, studying each man.

While it wasn't uncommon for clones to settle internal disputes with a one-on-one match of this kind, such things were usually done out in the open area of the training room and sanctioned with the presence of medics and commanding officers to ensure that nothing got out of hand.

What was happening here felt darker somehow and Rex felt the hairs on his nape rise with unease. This caused him to cast another glance around the room, and he noted the absence of his more experienced men: Jesse, Coric, Chopper and Kix among them. Actually, he realized that the group was made up of mostly the Spaarti clones, most of whom didn't – to his knowledge – even have names yet. He'd also noticed that none of them seemed inclined to change the fact.

When Rex felt certain that his voice wouldn't belie the anxiety he felt at seeing his men fight in this manner, he gave Tup and Four Four his sternest glare. “What in the void has gotten into you two? No,” he added, raising his hand as Tup opened his mouth to speak. “It was a rhetorical question, Tup. You'll get a chance to speak your part...after I-”

“Captain Rex.” Appo's voice slid ahead of the lieutenant as he entered the room, but Rex chose not to turn in acknowledgment. “Is there a problem, sir?”

“I've got it covered, Lieutenant,” Rex replied as the other trooper came to stand beside him. He gave Tup another glare, and the younger man's eyes dropped. “Fighting of this kind is inexcusable,” Rex said, looking between Tup and Four Four, the latter of whom remained expressionless. “We're all on the same side; there's enough out there trying to kill you without you taking up arms against your own brother when we're on the ship.”

He paused, letting the words sink in. Tup's expression remained one of chagrin, but Four Four still seemed untouched. Finally, Rex sighed. “If there was an issue you wanted to settle, why didn't you call for a one-on-one?”

Tup scowled, an expression that had become more and more common of late. “Sir...he said that we were traitors for killing a Jedi on Umbara.”

Around them the others shifted; fighting back his own surge of ire at the words, Rex noted that the Spaarti clones' faces seemed universally righteous, while the few of his older men who were present looked about as insulted and angry as he'd seen them recently. When Rex turned his attention back to Four Four, the Spaarti clone did not meet his eyes. “Is this true?”

Four Four lifted his chin as if with pride, but said nothing.

“He's just a shiny, Captain,” Appo said suddenly, stepping between Rex and Four Four, lifting his hands as if to quell any agitation. “He obviously doesn't have all the facts. Besides, sir, Tup here should have known better and kept his cool.”

The lieutenant punctuated the words with a sweep of his eyes over Rex, the look in his eyes somehow accusatory without being insubordinate, despite the fact that he was bordering on favoring one clone over another. Circled as they were around Rex and Tup, the Spaarti clones seemed to be closing in on the other troopers for one moment as they gave swift nods of assent, and the captain felt something uncomfortably like a warning twist in his gut.

But he'd be damned if he'd let Appo's words be the last. “Rest assured, Lieutenant,” he said, emphasizing the title just enough. “Both Tup and Four Four will be dealt with accordingly. Three days of extra drills, and I want every inch of this billet spotless by noon tomorrow. Is that understood?”

Tup gave a crisp salute.

The other trooper inclined his head towards Appo, a look of mild confusion on his face. In response, Appo shook his head. “Sir, his designation is CT-95-3744. 'Four Four' means nothing to him.”

There was a note of irritation in Appo's tone that was unsettling to Rex, but what caused him to blink in surprise was the fact that the Spaarti clone had turned away the simple nickname that Ahsoka had so freely offered. In all his days, he'd never seen another clone refuse to accept something that should have been an honor. He could see that Tup was startled as well but he refused to even glance around the room to see if any of his other men were reacting in a similar manner.

Rex only allowed his surprise to register for an instant. He nodded to Four Four – who would remain so in his mind, not “CT-95-3744” – and ignored Appo before turning his eyes to the rest of the gathered troopers. “Dismissed.”

At the curt word, they began to disperse, but the feeling of division lingered.

*​

As Brenna watched Rex walk away from her, she spent a few moments speculating on what his 'surprise' could be; naturally, she had a few things in mind, but the smile he'd given her was not one of his teasing ones, but rather the kind that he got when he had something pleasant to share.

Anyway, she knew she'd find out soon enough, so she re-entered her cabin and headed for the 'fresher to get a shower in before Marliss returned from her shift. Once she'd finished, Brenna dressed in her sleep-clothes and settled onto her bed, pulling out her comlink as she did so. For a moment she stared at the small device, then gave a deep sigh as she entered the familiar code. She'd put this off for far too long.

“Brenna?”

When Jensine Damaris answered, it took Brenna a moment to reply. “Hi, Mom. How are you?”

There was a long pause, after which her mother spoke again. “I'm well. How are you?”

“Can't complain.” Brenna winced at the mundane words, then took a breath and tried to push through the awkwardness. “How are the quagga? How's the foaling season going?”

“It's going well enough,” her mother answered. “The quagga are the same as they've always been; I'm sure you remember.”

Biting back a sigh, Brenna tried again. “Caith said that things are quiet out there. Has everything been okay? In the past, you've never had trouble with keeping good ranch-hands on through the season.”

“I'm perfectly capable of running things around here; you don't need to concern yourself about me, Brenna,” Jensine replied in a curt tone. There was a pause, then to Brenna's surprise, her mother added: “But I appreciate your concern.”

The conversation continued in a similar fashion for a few more painful minutes, though at each awkward pause, Brenna strove to remind herself that it was a good thing that they were on speaking terms again. After one particularly long pause, Jensine cleared her throat and spoke, forming the words with great care. “When you get back, I'd like to see you and Irini.”

It was an approximation of her earlier request, and Brenna thought that Jensine had repeated it in order to reiterate that she was still hoping for a reconciliation of a sort. Additionally, she recognized the faintest edge of nervousness to her mother's voice, as if she was afraid Brenna would say no. The only reason she heard such a thing was due to the fact that she was growing used to listening for such minute changes in someone's pitch; it happened after spending so much time in the company of clones.

The realization that Jensine was nervous touched her, so she replied back as quickly as she could. “I think that'll work, Mom.”

“I want things to be different, Brenna,” Jensine said suddenly. “I know that there have been...problems between us, but I want to change that. If you want to as well,” her mother added, almost as if what Brenna wanted was simply an afterthought, and she tried not to feel annoyed that Jensine hadn't apologized for nearly disowning her daughter after Brenna had left home against her wishes. No, Jensine Damaris was not the most considerate woman, but she was family, after all, and Brenna thought again that it was best to try and move on from past hurt.

So she took another breath and imagined her daughter playing at her mother's house, nestled at the foot of Zephyr Mountain. Iri would probably love the kriffing quagga, despite the fact that Brenna herself had never been overly fond of the equines. “I do want to.”

Silence, followed by a noise that could have been a sigh of relief, after which her mother told her to take care of herself. Nothing other than those words was offered, but after the transmission ended, Brenna felt a little bit lighter.

However, her next thought caused the feeling to fade slightly; the coming reconciliation with her mother made her think that it was truly time to tell Rex about Iri's father being a clone. Things had to change, she right along with them, and she also thought that she had to move on from past hurt to truly be able to move forward. While she hoped that the truth of Iri's father wouldn't harm anything between them, she thought that Rex might read something into her reticence to tell him, something that would make him uneasy about her or their relationship.

The thought made her uneasy.

Rex was not Tucker, or her first love Arcas; he was unlike any man she'd ever known, but she couldn't shake the anxiety that at any moment – at the slightest sign of trouble or the moment he tired of her – he'd want to bolt as well, just as the others had done. Until now, it was a risk she found she was unwilling to take.

But that too, had to change.

*​

The next day, Rex met Brenna at her cabin earlier than he'd planned and dressed in his armor, both of which seemed to startle her; when she opened the door, he noted that her hair was uncombed and her feet were bare, and he had to chuckle at the way her eyes widened when she took sight of him. “Rex?”

Highly amused at her expression of surprise, he gave a swift nod. “Glad you remembered.”

At her chuckle, he tilted his head to the side, indicating the corridor from which he'd come. “I know I'm early, but things were set into motion sooner than I thought they'd be. I guess you need a few more minutes, anyway.”

“Depends,” she replied, her voice wary. “What are we going to do?”

In response, he patted his DC-17s that were slung on his hips. Brenna gave him a look of confusion and he smiled. “Target practice.”

“Rex...”

She didn't look pleased at all, but although he felt a flare of apprehension he pushed on. “Brenna...you live on a warship,” he said as he held her gaze. “If something unexpected were to happen, you'd be completely vulnerable. Remember Ithor?”

At her grimace he nodded again, though he felt his features softening as he looked at her. “It would make me feel better if you had some idea of how to protect yourself with a blaster, should worse come to worse.”

For a long moment he could see the debate in her eyes, and he watched as they slid to the blasters at his hips before turning back to his face.

“Okay,” she said at last, a faint tremor in her voice. She also wore the expression of someone who was filled with self-doubt, and he had an urge to quell the feeling.

“I can't offer you much, Bren,” he said suddenly, reaching for her hand. “But I can provide you with the means to keep yourself safe. It'll be fine,” he added as she nodded again, a resigned look on her face. “I promise.”

A quarter of an hour later, they were in the all-purpose training room aboard the Resolute; the low, wide space was able to be converted for a multitude of uses, from a makeshift shooting range to a simulated battlefield. To ensure that there would be no interruptions, Rex had reserved the room earlier; right now the two of them were alone.

After he set up the targets – starting her off at an easy five meters – he made his way back to the brown-haired woman and pulled one of his DC-17s free of its holster to explain the necessary components, such as the safety. As he did so, she eyed the blaster with trepidation, though she accepted it after a moment, keeping her hands well away from the trigger as she looked it over.

“It's on the lowest power setting, so even if the safety was off and you accidentally shot me, you wouldn't cause more damage than a bit of a burn,” he said as he watched her study the weapon, noting that she was careful to hold the muzzle away from either of them. “On the highest setting, this'll cut right through a tinny – or armor, for that matter. I've made a few mods to amp up the firing rate, though they'll burn through power-packs a bit faster.”

She looked up at him, her eyes falling on the ammo-pack on his chest. “That makes sense.”

Rex nodded to the target, a large, rectangular panel of durasteel with a faint outline of a humanoid. “Care to give it a shot? No pun intended.”

“Sure.” She held up the blaster with her right hand and squinted towards the target, which made Rex want to chuckle. Despite the fact that he thought he did a fair job of withholding his amusement, she gave him a mock-glare. “If you brought me out here just to make fun...”

“Here,” he said, stepping forward towards her. “Let me show you the best way to go about this.” Standing close to her back, Rex wrapped his arms around her, taking her hands in his own sot that he could position her fingers around the blaster, all while telling her in what he was doing as he did it and savoring the warmth of her body along his own “These are one-handed weapons, but since you're new to this and your hands are smaller than mine, I recommend supporting your trigger hand with the other.”

With that, he wrapped the fingers of her right hand just behind the trigger, then cupped her left beneath the right, so that it was gripping tightly. “Good,” he said into her ear, noting the faint inhale she gave at his breath against her skin. “Now, spread your legs a little bit and keep your knees slightly bent to absorb the impact. This thing will pack a wallop when you fire.”

As she did as he instructed, she exhaled again and flicked her eyes his way, an uncertain expression still on her face. “I feel...strange.”

Rex gave her the most appraising look he could manage, given the fact that they were almost cheek-to-cheek. Brenna clutching one of his trusted blasters was an unusual sight; she looked completely out of her element, but he appreciated the fact that she was trying because she knew he wanted her to. While a part of him was loathe to think she'd ever need to use the weapon for any reason, it really did set him at ease – at least a little bit – to know that she was willing to learn, despite the fact that she was uncomfortable right now.

“You look very capable,” he said at last, giving her hands a light squeeze with his own. “Just be sure you shoot the target and not the handsome fellow in the armor.”

“Then you should probably stand in front of it,” she replied, looking ahead again and squinting towards the target as she aimed. “I'll be lucky if I can hit anywhere near that thing.”

“Both eyes, wide open,” he corrected, trying to resist the urge to kiss her cheek. He really did want to teach her how to use the pistol, but her proximity was distracting him more than he'd been prepared for. “You can't see anything if you're barely peeking.”

She nodded, her eyes opening fully. Still close to her, Rex took a quick assessment of her stance before he spoke next. “Okay, I'm going to disable the safety and step back; after I do, I want you to aim as best you can, then squeeze off a single round.”

“Right,” she said, her eyes glued to the target with all the intensity of a shiny, which made him smile.

Because he couldn't stop himself any more, he planted a swift kiss on her cheek. “Good luck,” he murmured in her ear, feeling no small amount of satisfaction as she flushed and nodded. As he reached forward to disable the safety with a flick of his index finger, she took a breath; when he stepped back, he watched her check her aim at least three times before her finger pressed the trigger with a light touch as she fired a single shot.

It went wide, but not as badly as he'd thought it might; she, however, was nearly knocked backward from the force of the blast, right into his waiting arms. As she turned up to him, he gave her a look of mock-sternness. “Didn't I warn you of the wallop?”

“You weren't kidding...wow,” she said, righting herself while continuing to hold the weapon at arm's length. “My hands are tingling.”

“The concussion of the blast will do that. Eventually you get used to it,” he explained, nodding to the target again, which was now sporting a charred mark on the outer edge. “Care to try again?”


She glanced down at the blaster, then up at him again. “Only if you keep me from falling over.”

*****​

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Next time: more practice, a bit of Ahsoka, and yet another surprise!​

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Thanks for reading! ​

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So, The Fighting Kind won Best Epic (Before/Saga) at the most recent fanfic awards! A massive THANK YOU to everyone and anyone who nominated and voted for this story. You are amazing, and I'm thrilled that it's been enjoyed. ​

 

LOL A very practical gift for Bren. Shows the depth of caring. Love her courage to break old patterns of doubt and emotionally holding back. I am happy she is willing to try trust and moving forwards. The other batch of clones seems very much like a clanging cymbal of discord and perhaps something more ominous?

 

@Nyota's Heart: Yep, Rexter is nothing if not practical! I'm glad you're enjoying Brenna's development; she's working hard to break out of old patterns. ​

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Yeah, the Spaarti clones do not bode well for the future...​

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Thanks for the comment! ​

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*****​

Chapter Twenty-Five​

They continued the practice for well over the half-hour that Rex had allotted, and he was pleased to note that Brenna's aim only improved the longer she held the weapon. While she would never rival even the rawest shiny, he thought that maybe – after many more training sessions – she would be able to hold her own.

Should things get to that point, anyway.

After she managed to hit the target several consecutive times, she paused and fingered the blaster, a pensive look on her face. “Rex...I need to tell you something...”

Something caught in the center of his chest, like a stone being dropped into a pool of still water, and he nodded once, waiting. However, a frantic chirruping sound made her give an uncharacteristic swear, and she actually glared at her comlink. “Kriff...it's my boss. Looks like it's urgent...” She blew out a breath of exasperation and met his eyes, handing him the blaster as she did so. “I have to go. I'm sorry.”

Rex shrugged away the uncertain feeling as he holstered the weapon. As much as he wanted – okay, needed – to hear what she had to say, duty came first. Always.

“It's fine, Brenna. Go,” he said, leaning forward to give her a swift kiss on her cheek. She still seemed unhappy, and he wanted to reassure her, somehow, so he gave her fingers a squeeze. “Call me when you're free and we'll catch up again.”

“Okay,” she replied, wincing as her comlink chimed a second time; there was one more second of debate in her eyes before she looked his way again, then wrapped her arms around his armored waist and gave him a deep kiss, the kind that pushed everything else from his mind.

When she pulled back she cast a last look his way, then slipped out of his arms and from the room, leaving him alone. For a few seconds Rex watched her go, then glanced back at the target stretched out before him. There was little point in remaining here but he still had a bit of free time, which he'd hoped to spend with Brenna; he was sure he had work to do in the interim, but a part of him was reluctant to move from this spot for reasons he couldn't say.

In the next moment he figured out why, because a familiar voice caught his attention. “You okay, Rexter?”

When he looked up, his eyes fell on Ahsoka, standing at the side-entrance to the training room; leaning against one side of the doorway as she was, he thought that she seemed a bit uncertain to approach. The realization made him wonder how much of his and Brenna's interaction she'd seen, then he decided it didn't matter.

“Getting there,” he replied as he took a few steps towards her, closing the gap between them. When he met her at the door, he thumbed towards the exit on the other side of the room where Bren had gone. “A little target practice. She needs it.”

There was a hint of a sparkle in her eyes as she shook her head. “You don't have to explain anything, Rex,” she said with a faint, almost embarrassed smile that made her seem younger than she was. “I had a feeling about the two of you that time on the bridge, and then when I saw the cake in your office, remember? I just wanted to say that you seem...happy.”

Despite her embarrassment, he could tell that she was genuinely pleased for him, so Rex smiled back. “I am, kid.”

“Good,” she replied with a nod. “Brenna seems...nice. I don't really know her, but I'm...that is, you two...” She gave a sigh of irritation, as if she was frustrated with herself. “You both seem...happy. And I'm glad. You deserve it, Rexter, you really do.”

“Thank you, Ahsoka,” he replied, giving her a warm look. “It's good to hear that.” There was a pause while he considered the best way to phrase the question he wanted to ask, then he raised a brow at her. “How's the comlink working out?”

She flushed again, but it was in a different manner than before and he recognized the curve of her smile because he'd seen a similar expression on Brenna's face, usually when she thought he wasn't looking and she was finding him particularly charming.

Ahsoka cleared her throat then gave Rex a grin that hid nothing. “It's...really great, actually. Will you thank Brenna for me, please?”

Despite the fact that the smile she'd given him was nothing but happy, he felt a flash of protectiveness for her. “He's treating you okay, right? I mean...” He grimaced and shook his head. “You're...happy as well? He makes you happy?”

Her answering laughter was bright. “When I want him to be, he's a perfect gentleman...and yes, he does make me happy.” At his lifted brow she rolled her eyes. “I mean, he's an idiot sometimes, but he's...nice to be with, all the time.”

“As long as he doesn't bring you around any more Mandalorians,” Rex muttered, shaking his head.

Ahsoka chuckled again. “Oh, he knows not to ever pull anything like that again. But it's okay, Rex. Right now he's working on Coruscant. We've even managed to see each other in person a few times, when the Resolute is in the Core.”

Rex nodded, absorbing the information, but neither of them said anything for a moment. Finally she sighed and looked around the empty room, then back at him. “I still don't know what I'm going to do about the Code. Master's been so distracted lately, I don't think he's even noticed if anything's different with me – if anything is different, I guess.”

“I haven't seen much of him, either,” Rex replied with a frown, thinking over the latest bits of intel he'd read. “He's pretty much left us to our own devices, especially with all of that talk of potential sieges in the Outer Rim.”

“Well, we'll just have to step in and take care of everything, won't we?”

He had to smile at her wry tone. “As usual.”

*​

Several days later, Brenna was restless.

Seated in her office, she had mountains of faulty access codes to sift through, but her attention was far away, on the planet of Andara that the Resolute was currently orbiting.

Rex and the rest of Torrent had been called dirtside shortly after her impromptu weapons training; currently, they were working to route a Separatist invasion of the capitol city, Utare. Through what she could tell – and it wasn't much – there was some type of hostage situation which the Jedi were trying to diffuse, while Rex and his men had the task of keeping the civilian population safe from a host of droids that the Seps had brought.

GAR action channels were heavily encrypted, but she had been able to easily slice into one of the common ones that the clones used in order to listen into the battle, something that she found herself doing more and more of late.

“Three rollies, up ahead!”

“I see them! Get those cannons up here!”

“Man down! We need a medic...where's Coric?”

Through it all, she held very still, pressing her headphones to her ears harder with each passing moment; if she tried to pick Rex's voice out of the chorus, she'd be immediately lost, but if she let the voices wash over her she could distinguish his at once. “Jesse, Chopper, Doubletake: flank your squads around those rollers and get ready to open fire. Tup and Faze – droid poppers at their center.”

She was always struck by how steady he sounded, even while he was shouting; there was never any fear in his voice, only calm control, because that was what his men needed in a leader. When he returned to her – not if, she refused to think, but when – she would understand, again, how much the fighting affected him for all that he tried to keep the feelings at bay.

But for now there was nothing she could do besides wait...and worry.

A horrific noise rocked her in her chair, and she winced as the shouts of the clones were all but obliterated by the sound of the explosion. For a moment there was only crackling static, during which her heart went to her throat and her hands pushed the headphones tight against her ears; after a moment the voices returned, Rex's among them, and she exhaled, hoping to force away the knot in her stomach with a few, deep breaths.

As the minutes passed, it appeared that the worst of the fighting had ebbed, so she told herself that she had to stop eavesdropping and get to work. However, as she removed the headphones, her eyes fell on her comlink, which was buzzing angrily against her desk. She grabbed the device and frowned at what she read from her roommate: Bren, come to our cabin. Urgent.

Her first thought was that something had happened to her daughter and from there, the following thoughts quickly spiraled out of control: Iri was sick or injured and Caith hadn't been able to reach Brenna's own comlink for some reason; something had happened to her brother and Edme...

Without another thought, Brenna hurried out of her office and down the corridor, her steps as quick as she could make them as she navigated the twists and turns of her sector, trying to call Marliss the entire time and getting no response.

Even though her worries for Rex had fled from the forefront of her mind, adrenaline was still racing in her veins, so any pace short of sprinting was unthinkable; the moment she was out of her work-sector, Brenna rushed for the nearest turbolift, gritting her teeth at the interminable ride and trying to message Marliss to get an idea of what the kriff was going on.

Every second that ticked by, every beat of her heart echoed in her ears. Was her daughter okay? What had happened? She never should have left Iri, never should have taken this job so far away, no matter how well she was paid. If something happened to Iri...

She didn't know what she would do.

Heart pounding, Brenna forced herself to inhale and exhale in a steady rhythm, thinking of Rex's incongruous battle-calm and wishing that she was capable of such a feat. She tried to call Marliss again. There was no reply. The moment the lift doors opened, Brenna raced in earnest to the door to the cabin she and Marliss shared. She reached the door in record time, slammed her fingers against the lock panel and burst into the room, her breath coming in gasps.

“Where is she?” Brenna nearly choked as Marliss moved to greet her. “Iri! Is she okay? Did Caith call? What happened?”

Marliss' face was pale, but she shook her head. “Iri's fine, Bren. It's not...that's not why I called...” She trailed off and nodded across the room, to a spot behind Brenna's shoulder. “It's him.”

Brenna's heart was still thundering in her chest, but in that moment her movements felt slow and gelatinous. As she turned, she caught sight of familiar gray armor, her eyes falling on the blue, T-visor of Tucker's helmet from its place clipped to his belt. When she met his eyes her mouth opened but no words came out.

“Hey, Bren.” His gaze on her was the same: intense and filled with emotion. Tucker hesitated, then flicked his eyes to Marliss before he handed her a small object that Brenna recognized as her roommate's comlink. “Thanks for your help, Miss Menin. Can we have a second, please?”

As Marliss hurried out of the cabin, Brenna managed to recover. Her daughter was fine – she'd still have to check in with Caith, just in case – but right now she was having trouble quantifying the sight of Iri's father standing before her, his eyes fixed on her face. Finally she swallowed and managed to find her voice. “Tucker.”

“I'm an idiot,” he said suddenly, making a move to step forward.

Brenna instinctively stepped back, crossing her arms before her chest as she did so; both of the actions renewed her the ability to form simple words. “That's a good start.”

A pained look crossed his face, but he nodded. After a moment he cleared his throat and gave her a very small smile. “You look really good, Brenna.”

He paused, then glanced down at something in his hand; a closer look showed her that he was clutching one of her pictures of Iri. “Our girl does, too. Irini looks just like you...she's beautiful.”

“So you did get the messages I sent.”

The sharp edge to her words made him wince, but he nodded again. Silence. Brenna took another breath because she was starting to tremble and wanted to calm down. “I've thought about this moment, you know,” she said after a beat, watching his gaze flicker with hope. “A lot. I've wondered what you would say to me if we saw each other again, but I really have no idea, Tucker.”

She exhaled and injected as much steadiness into her voice as she could and refused to drop her eyes from his. “What are you waiting for?”

“I'm so sorry, Bren,” he whispered, his throat moving in a swallow. “I just...I panicked, you know? I wasn't ready to be a parent...it was a total shock...”

“I remember,” she replied. “I was there, too. I felt the same way. But why have you tracked me down, now?”

Glancing down, he fingered the picture in his hand for a moment, then looked back up at her. “They're dead. Os, Crane and Burr...Brenna, everyone I ever cared about is dead, except you and her.”

Despite her anger, the mention of his squad-mates made her features soften. “I heard about your brothers. I'm sorry...they were good guys.”

He nodded and took a shaking breath, then ran a hand through dark hair that was longer than Rex's but still military-short. When his eyes fell on her again, they were filled with something that she remembered too well. “I've missed you. I've thought about you, every day.”

“Me too,” she replied. “Thought about you, I mean.”

“Have you?” he asked as he looked at her with a familiar gaze, one that was edged with hope.

Brenna frowned and narrowed her eyes, watching as his face fell. “Tucker...why are you here?”

Fear was plainly written on his features while he formulated his reply, and she could see that he was trembling as well; it was an incongruous sight when paired with the bulky Katarn armor that had always made him seem invincible. “I want to...change things, Brenna. I want to do what's right for you and Irini.”

The words made her blood freeze even as hot fury threatened to choke. “Get out.”

“What?”

Shock crossed his face, but she ignored it; all of the anger and frustration that she'd felt for him, the emotion that she'd tried to set aside since her daughter's birth, it all came flooding back and she found that she was shaking with barely restrained fury. “Get out. Now.”

Tucker paled, but took a breath. “I'm not leaving until you hear me out, Bren.” There was a debate on his features, and he reached for her, but she evaded him and stepped backward again, her heel hitting Marliss' bunk. He froze and looked at her again. “Brenna...I want things to be different. Can you just-”

“No, I can't,” she replied, keeping her arms wrapped about her waist tightly enough to prevent him from seeing that she was trembling. “I don't care what you want, Tucker. Yes, maybe our lives could have been different, but you ran. You left us both, and you don't get another chance to fix things, now.”

His grip on the picture tightened, and she watched the flimsi-pic wrinkle beneath his gloved hand. “But can't we-”

Reaching forward, she snatched it away from him, the movement fast enough to catch even him off-guard. “That's not how it works,” she said as she smoothed it out, trying to find a semblance of calm by looking at her daughter's smiling face. “You can't just show up out of the void, not having seen or spoken to me in almost three years, and expect me to just cooperate.”

“Brenna, I know that I hurt you, but-”

“I don't care about that,” she replied as she slipped the pic in her pants-pocket. “I'm fine, now. But Irini is another story, entirely. You walked out on your daughter, Tucker. Your child.”

His head ducked for an instant; when he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “I couldn't handle it, back then. But I can now. Bren, I'm stronger than I was. We can do this...we can make it work. I just need you to give me one more chance. That's why I wanted to find you. I thought, if I could just make you see-”

“Tucker...”

“Brenna, I love you,” he said simply, meeting her eyes with the look that had once set her heart to racing and made her body shiver with desire. “I love you and I want to be with you and with our daughter.”

The words made Brenna want to hit him, hard, but she knew for certain that if she moved her entire body would fall to pieces. “You don't know what love is, Tucker. If you did, you wouldn't have run away.”

“Then I want to learn.” He looked at her, pleading in his gaze. “Please...”

“It's too late.”

She watched him flinch at her words, though he recovered a moment later. “I...just want to fix what I broke.”

That was her undoing. Adrenaline swept through her veins again, her arms unfolded from her chest and she felt heat rise to her face as she stepped forward. “This isn't a blaster you can put back together, Tucker; I'm not one of your Verpines. You can't 'fix' this...you can't replace what you've thrown away.”

With each word her voice was rising in pitch, and she knew that she was moments away from losing the final vestiges of control, but she didn't care. “I can't believe that you thought you could just show up and sweep me off my feet again, like I would forget-”

Tucker was shaking his head, hands raised as if beseeching. “Just give me a chance, Bren. I know that I screwed up...but I'm here now, and I want to make it right-”

“Brenna.”

It was a clone, but it wasn't Tucker's voice. Turning towards her now-open door, Brenna's eyes fell on Rex, standing at the threshold, his gaze fixed on her and his fists tight at his sides.

*****​

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A/N: Next time, more of Tucker and Rex's thoughts on the situation. ​

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Tucker turned out to be one of my favorite characters, though he seems like a major di'kut right now. ​

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Thanks for reading!​

 

Rippin' smokin' laloga! Wow, I second every word Brenna said, although as a couple things are shot, as a parent that's a different matter. Naturally trust will have to be earned there. How much did Rex hear and what is he gonna make of it? I know Brenna was going to reveal before they were interrupted in the first scene. Seriously on the edge of my seat.

 

@Nyota's Heart: Thank you for the comment! The wait is over. ​

*****​

Chapter Twenty-Six​

Earlier...

Missions where no one died were few and far between, and Rex had felt like celebrating.

It was Ahsoka who'd suggested that he leave the planet once the fighting had ended. Rex had been prepared for at least another few hours dirtside, collecting the wounded and picking up the pieces of the battle's aftermath, but his friend had all but insisted he return to the Resolute; behind her eyes, there had only been a desire to see him happy. She'd joked that she could order him to leave, but he'd chuckled and said that wasn't necessary.

The return journey had been swift. He'd considered comm'ing Bren ahead of time, then decided to surprise her instead, thinking that maybe she could forgo her work and skip out a bit early with him. Maybe they could return to her cabin, he could feign being exceptionally dirty from the battle, thus necessitating the need for a shower...not that either one of them needed an excuse to be close, but he knew how much she liked it when he flirted with her.

So it was with a relatively light heart that he'd made his way to her office, wishing for one silly moment that he had flowers or something else he could present to her instead of a dust-coated kama; but she hadn't been there. Puzzled, he'd tried to comm her – no response.

That was when he'd thought to make his way to her and Marliss' cabin. Perhaps she'd been sick and had to leave early. The thought struck him that perhaps something had happened to Iri and she'd been called away, which was enough to quicken his pace.

But when he'd reached her door and heard her shouting...

Thankfully the door was slightly open, because otherwise he would have instinctively shot his way through, whether he knew the lock-code or not.

It took him a moment to wrap his mind around the scene that greeted him. Brenna was shouting at a clone – a commando, by the looks of his armor – and Rex realized immediately that he'd never seen her truly angry before; her hands were shaking, her face was flushed and her eyes were ablaze as they remained fixed on the other clone's face.

When the commando spoke it took Rex all of three seconds to process the reality behind what he was witnessing. “...but I'm here now, and I want to make it right-”

Later on, Rex would not remember saying her name, but he knew he did because they both turned to look at him. Brenna's mouth was open as if she was about to reply to the commando, but when she spoke it was only Rex's name, and even then it was more of an indrawn breath. “Rex...”

The commando – Rex searched his memory and recalled her saying that Iri's father's name was Tucker – glared at the newcomer like he had the right. “Who the haran is this?”

“The man who's about to knock you off of your sorry shebs.” At Rex's sharp words, both clones made to lunge towards each other, but Brenna stepped between them, angling herself so that she was closer to Rex than to the commando – Tucker – whose eyes narrowed as he froze in place.

A moment later the lines of anger across the commando's face deepened as he spoke again. “So you replaced me, is that it? Or do you just have a thing for clones?”

Standing before him as she was, Rex could see that Brenna's hands were trembling with what he assumed was fury, but when she spoke her voice was remarkably steady. “Rex has nothing to do with this, Tucker.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Tucker's words were dark and he shot a look at Rex, the meaning of which was clear. She's mine. Back off. “You don't need me if you have him.”

“There are a whole host of reasons why I don't need you,” she replied. “But Rex isn't one of them. You need to leave. Now.”

Tucker scowled at Rex again; in response, the captain stepped closer to Brenna, not touching her but offering silent support. As much as he wanted to speak – or preferably, to beat the commando into a bloody pulp – something urged him to wait, to watch. If Bren needed him he would fight for her in a heartbeat, but he felt that this was her fight, not his.

Not yet, anyway.

In the meantime, Rex held the commando's gaze, silently daring him to do something stupid and noting with a swell of satisfaction that the other man's glare deepened. Give me a reason, he thought as he gave a minuscule shake of his head. Give me a reason to strike you down, you miserable, low-life, shabla excuse for a man...

“You're making a mistake, Bren,” Tucker said suddenly, breaking the stare and looking back at the brown-haired woman. “I'm her father.”

“You're the man who got me pregnant,” she replied in a flat voice. “You're not a father. You were right about that, at least. Leave,” she added, the word hard as durasteel. “Now.”

There was a moment where Rex watched the commando's body tense as if he were about to spring forward or do some other stupid thing, but the other man only clenched his jaw and stepped for the door. Too bad it looked like he was going to leave quietly, because Rex thought that he really would have preferred a chance to deck the commando at least once. Or twice. Three times, maybe.

Tucker paused at the door, and inclined his head towards her again, his mouth opening. In response, Rex felt his body shift forward, imperceptibly. Four – no, five – good swings, and he'd start to be satisfied.

But Brenna's voice shoved the commando out of the room with more force than even Rex's fists could have mustered. “Just go, Tucker.”

The commando shot Rex a final, dark look, then stepped across the threshold. The moment he was gone, Brenna stepped forward and activated the lock on the door panel, then she turned and leaned her back against the closed door, sliding to the floor before she put her head in her hands and went very still; moments later, he heard a soft, hiccuping noise and realized that she was crying.

Uncertain of what exactly he was supposed to do – or think, for that matter – Rex approached her and knelt by her side, placing a tentative hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

She nodded wordlessly, and he watched as she swiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater before she looked up at him. “I should have told you.”

Aside from anger, he wasn't quite sure how to feel about the situation. Jealous, maybe. Sifting through his feelings for the emotion, Rex didn't find it. Perhaps he should have and indeed, after a moment he felt a flare of...something, but it wasn't jealousy for Tucker and what that clone had done with Brenna. Examining the feeling, Rex realized that it wasn't jealousy, but it was a familiar kind of longing, a desire for something that he was probably never meant to have, but wanted all the same. Something that Tucker had thrown away.

None of that was her fault, but he still would have liked to know that Iri's father was a clone. Rex didn't know much about relationships, but he knew about honesty. So he was quiet for a moment before he nodded. “Yes, you should have.”

There was a pause as he watched her collect herself further, then he added: “Why didn't you?”

“Because I couldn't...” She frowned and scrubbed at her face with her sleeve again, then took a deep breath. “I couldn't lose you, too.”

“Lose me?”

Brenna shifted, bending her knees in front of her and hugging her arms to her chest. She didn't look at him when she spoke. “When I told Tucker about Iri, he left without looking back. Before that, after I fell in love with Arcas, he left me as well. They always leave, and I couldn't...” Her eyes closed and she took another breath before sliding her gaze back to him. “I couldn't risk it with you, Rex.”

Something like anger flared within him, sharper then he'd felt in a long time, and he thought of the commando that she'd ejected from her room. “You thought I would act like...like him? Like that piece of osik excuse for a clone?”

Her eyes closed again but she said nothing. Rex exhaled through his nose, working to keep his voice calm and thinking that he was failing. “We're not all the same, Brenna. Tucker's actions don't carry over to mine. I thought you...” His throat went tight, but he continued in a dark voice. “I thought you knew that.”

The kneeling position he was in had started to make his legs tingle, so Rex rose, thinking he needed to leave the room anyway, because it was starting to feel stifling in here. Moving...he had an overwhelming urge to be moving, somewhere far away, somewhere dark and dangerous where he could lose himself in the shadows.

But as he stood, something seemed to snap within her; she stood up as well and reached for his gloved hand, at last meeting his eyes as she spoke. “I do know that you're not all the same, Rex,” she whispered, holding his gaze. “Of course I do. It's just...I made an awful mistake in trusting Arcas, and again – a worse one – with Tucker. I took this job on the Resolute to try and make it right, but...”

At this, she paused. Her hand was clutching his and he could feel that she was trembling. “But, what?”

“But I made another mistake,” she said at last, still holding his gaze. “The moment I realized how much you meant to me, I should have told you about Tucker. I shouldn't have kept that from you, but I couldn't risk it. I'm not strong enough to go through all of that again, not with you. Rex, I never meant to fall in love with you, but I did, and I just couldn't risk losing you like I lost them.”

Rex's limbs were frozen in place because her words had taken away his most basic motor functions. As it was, he thought he'd heard her wrong, and needed clarification. “What did you say?”

She gave a small, confused shake of her head; thankfully, he could still speak, even if his legs wouldn't move. “You said...'love.'”

A pink flush crept to her cheeks, but she did not drop her eyes from his as she nodded. “Yes, Rex. I love you.”

Now it was his heart that wasn't working properly, it was beating much too fast, the frenetic pace making him dizzy; it was difficult to breathe, to think, and all he could do was gawk at her as the anger fled, replaced by complete and total bewilderment. “How do you know?”

Brenna lifted their joined hands and placed his over her heart so that his fingertips were resting on her collarbone. “I just do. I feel it, here.”

As Rex looked at his own hand, half-thinking that it didn't look like his for some reason, his mouth opened, but no sound came out. How would he know if the words he wanted to say would be true? How did he know anything at all, especially when it came to something like love, something that was the opposite of what he'd been bred for? War, death, fighting: they were his arenas, not love.

Beneath his gloved hand he could feel her heart beating a curiously fast tempo, and he realized that her eyes had not once dropped from his while he'd been thinking.

“It's okay,” she added with a soft smile that would – he thought – be the last thing he would ever want to see if he had the choice. “I didn't tell you that I love you just to hear you say it back; I said it because I wanted you to know. You don't have to say it back if you're not sure, because I know that you'll mean it, if you ever do say it.”

This answer at least, he knew. Rex shook his head. “When.”

Her brows knitted in confusion, so he reached up and placed his other hand over hers so that both of his were pressed over her heart. “Not 'if,' but when.”

Right before he kissed her, Rex had to amend his earlier thought; it was the way she was looking at him, right now...that would be the image he kept in his memory forever, that would be the last thing he saw right before he died, if he was lucky enough to be given a choice.

*****​

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A/N: Other readers have expressed concern for Tucker, and I don't blame them. Tucker is in a really unfortunate situation, but he did have a hand in the making of it; Brenna's not without fault, either. Neither of them are "bad," they just made some poor choices and are suffering the consequences.

It's important to me that my characters are not static, that they have depth and dimension, flaws and good points alike. I love hearing what you think of them!

One of the reasons I enjoy writing angst and drama is that they make the "good times" that much better. Hopefully Bren's reasons for not telling Rex about Tucker sooner are clear, as well as what exactly Rex was angry about. If not, please let me know.

Thank you for reading!


Next time: sparring lessons with the boys, (and considerably less angst.)

 

Oh, Laloga! Fantab! Rex's reactions -- to Tucker and Brenna's feelings Very insightful and true that her not telling was more a reflection of her own experiences than a conclusion about Rex's trustworthiness. I'm doing a Saga-era fic-prize, with Rex as a secondary character, and it's all I can do not to give Bren a mention LOL

 

@Nyota's Heart: Thank you! I'm glad this rang true. And I'm flattered you like Bren so much! (I do too, but I'm pretty biased...)​

*****​

Chapter Twenty-Seven​

Two weeks later...

Since Brenna had – apparently – taken to the shooting lessons so well, Rex had mentioned that he wanted to instruct her in some of the basic principles of hand-to-hand combat; despite her protestations that she was no warrior, he'd been quite insistent and she had eventually relented, if for no other reason than to make him happy.

The afternoon of the first session, as she was getting ready to meet Rex in the clones' gymnasium, Marliss stepped out of the of the 'fresher of their cabin, blonde hair pulled back from her face and dressed in the clothes she wore to exercise. Brenna paused in the midst of lacing her shoes and gave her roommate a startled look. “Didn't you have a shift today?”

Marliss smiled; the expression was quite dazzling, especially when paired with her fair hair and slender frame. If she hadn't been so kind – not to mention understanding about letting Rex and Brenna have the run of the cabin more often than not – Brenna might have had the urge to hate her a little bit. “I called in a favor. I thought I'd come with you, learn how to throw a punch or something else useful.”

There was an edge to her tone that Brenna recognized, so she gave a chuckle. “Ah, that's right...Fives is going to be there, isn't he?”

At her words, Marliss' features shifted to mock surprise. “Is he? Hmm...I didn't know. Did you mention that?”

Brenna laughed outright and reached down to finish lacing her shoe. “I know he hasn't been around a whole lot lately, but you two seemed to hit it off during the sabacc game.”

“He's...interesting,” Marliss replied with a shrug, leaning against the bulkhead as she watched the brown-haired woman. “He's got a good sense of humor...”

“So the kama has nothing to do with it?” At this, Marliss frowned in confusion, which made Brenna chuckle again. “The skirt-thing some of them wear. Rex has one, too.”

“Oh, yes,” Marliss drawled, nodding in understanding as her eyes lit up. “The kama. Well, it's nice to look at, I guess. Not that I've been looking or anything, but I might have noticed it, once or twice.”

“Of course,” Brenna replied, trying not to laugh again as she looked back down at her shoes. “Just don't call it a 'skirt.' He won't appreciate it. I learned that the hard way.”

A few minutes later, Brenna and Marliss made their way several levels down to the clones' sector, where the soldiers' gymnasium was located. It felt a bit odd for Brenna to be down here, as she and Rex had mostly kept their interactions in other areas of the ship, but she found that she was interested to know everything she could about where Rex and his brothers spent their time.

The gymnasium was not as large as she'd imagined, but it was well-stocked. A wide array of workout equipment, machines, weights and various other accouterments were spread through the main section, along with a number of clones, many of whom she recognized at least in passing by now. All of them offered the civilians surprised but friendly smiles, their eyes perhaps lingering a moment too long on the female newcomers in the way of men who hadn't spent much time around women, but there was only benign interest in their gazes.

Brenna heard one hushed whisper that sounded like “the Captain's girl,” but she couldn't be sure, and anyway it didn't matter when she spotted Rex, standing with Fives off to one side of the room. Both men were dressed in their navy-blue fatigues and were overlooking a large area, empty except for a rubberized mat and a few practice dummies that she figured were in place to absorb punches and kicks. Rex was facing away from her, so it was Fives who marked the civilians' approach and tilted his chin, causing the blond man to turn her way.

When he looked at her...

Well, her heart did more than skip a beat. It leaped, cheered, shouted with joy. I love you, Rex.

It didn't matter that he hadn't yet said the words back; she could read them plainly enough in his eyes. Right now, as he smiled and moved to meet her, she felt strangely giddy, like her feet weren't exactly making contact with the floor and any moment she'd discover that the artificial gravity generators on the Resolute had been compromised.

They met several paces from the mat and while she wanted to fall into his arms, she held herself in check because she didn't think that he would appreciate such a display in front of his men; instead, she decided to kiss his cheek or something else innocuous, but he startled her by reaching for her hand, pulling her towards his chest and giving her a swift but very fierce kiss against her mouth, strong enough to make her breath short.

“You're late,” he murmured by way of greeting when they pulled apart, smiling down at her; in response, Brenna shrugged and leaned up to kiss him again.

“That's my fault,” Marliss replied, standing between the couple and Fives, a broad grin on her face as she watched Brenna and Rex. “I slowed her down when I asked to tag along.”

“You came down here without asking for permission?” Fives shook his head, tut-tutting under his breath. “That's certainly against protocol, Miss Menin.”

At this, the blonde woman shot him a deadpan look. “I rarely ask for permission to do anything, ARC-boy.”

Her words caused Fives' brow to lift, unabashed interest written on his face. As the four of them convened in the center of the training mat, Brenna noted that the ARC trooper seemed to have an extra bounce in his step in front of her roommate, even going so far as to flex his biceps as he walked; she shot a look at Rex, who rolled his eyes and gave an infinitesimal shake of his head.

While the women stood to one side, Rex and Fives faced one another with the captain explaining some basic principles to get them started.

“Now, since neither of you are – hopefully – going to be involved in actual combat,” he said, his eyes falling on Brenna as he spoke. “Fives and I are going to demonstrate a few basic moves that should help you evade or escape capture; afterward, we'll show you how to inflict a bit of damage to an attacker, should the situation escalate to that point.”

“When in doubt,” Fives added with a raised brow at Marliss. “Go for the groin.”

“Er...or the eyes,” Rex said, frowning at the ARC in a way that made Brenna want to chuckle. Fives smirked; Marliss tilted her head but kept her expression neutral, waiting. Within a few moments, the clones were facing one another on the mat while Rex explained everything as it happened, urging his brother to move slowly and distinctly so that the civilians could see what was being done.

The first few movements were simple enough to follow: Fives would lunge for Rex, who would catch his arm or block his fist with a deft motion that Brenna thought she could manage easily, should she have to. As he'd been during her blaster-training, Rex was a remarkably patient teacher, explaining what was about to be done, demonstrating it in real-time and then doing so in a kind of slow-motion, so that she and Marliss could see exactly what they would need to do to replicate.

“This is an effective move if your attacker is trying to choke you,” Rex was saying as Fives wrapped his hands around the captain's neck, the violent picture belied by the ARC's continued suggestive winking at the women. Naturally, Rex remained calm and unaffected, having apparently decided to ignore Fives' antics. “A swift, firm push underneath the chin – preferably with enough force to jar the nose – is a good way to break his concentration and give yourself an opportunity to get away. Fives.”

The ARC had been baring his teeth in a feral, overly-aggressive fashion, which was making both Marliss and Brenna start to snicker, along with several other clones in the gym who'd stopped by to watch. At Rex's sharp tone, Fives' faced relaxed and he flexed his fingers, “tightening” his grip around the captain's neck. “Right. Choking you now, sir.”

Rex shoved the palm of his right hand forward, catching the ARC under his jaw and forcing his head backward with a swift motion that – had he been applying as much force as Brenna knew he was capable of – would have likely caused severe injury to the other man. As he did so, Rex glanced at the civilians. “See how it immobilizes him? It's not a very complicated move, but it's quite effective when done properly.”

“Unless your opponent is an ARC trooper,” Fives grunted, then neatly slipped out of Rex's hold, drew back his hands and dropped his shoulders as if to pummel himself into the other man. “Watch how it's done, ladies.”

Fives had the briefest advantage of surprise, so there was a moment where he was able to shove Rex backward a few meters. However, Brenna watched with admiration as Rex appeared to gather his strength before sliding beneath Fives' torso and flipping him up and around, causing the ARC trooper to nearly lose his balance and fall to the mat.

Not to be outdone, Fives recovered his feet and vaulted himself at the captain, making to strike a blow at Rex's jaw with his fist; rather than duck, Rex angled his body along the trajectory of Fives' fist, which made the other man to stumble forward, though in an instant the ARC was whirling around to lob another punch, this time managing to hit Rex's stomach.

From there, the sparring devolved into a brief tussle. Jesse, Tup, and a few others had appeared as well, offering jeers and “atta-boys” at the ensuing struggle.

It didn't last long; Brenna noted that Rex's tactics were less aggressive than Fives', but there was no lack of skill or strength in his movements. She also noticed that he seemed to try and make use of many of the evasive maneuvers and grips that had already been demonstrated, as if to show Brenna and Marliss “real-world” examples of how they could be utilized.

Fives was equally skilled, but she thought that perhaps he was a little distracted by Marliss, who'd kept her eyes on the ARC the entire time. The endgame arrived when Fives tried a particularly complicated kick-punch combo that failed when Rex swept his feet out from under him, causing the ARC to fall to the ground, his back pinned under the captain's knee.

Rex muttered something in Mando'a that Brenna couldn't discern and Fives replied in kind, after which both men got to their feet. For a moment the two soldiers stood facing each other, panting slightly, then Rex straightened and cast a subtle glance at Brenna as if to gauge her reaction; when she beamed, he gave slight nod that she thought was meant to be casual, but she could see the pleased half-smile that crossed his face even as he ordered the rest of his men to disperse.

By contrast, Fives was preening in front of Marliss, who was watching him with a raised brow. Perhaps he'd lost the “match,” but she could tell that her roommate was duly impressed with the trooper; based on the grins he kept shooting her, Fives knew it as well.

“Anyway,” Rex said as if nothing had taken place. “Those are a few moves to get you started. Pretty basic stuff, but – as you saw from our demonstration – quite effective. Now, I'd like each of you to try.”

“They can fight each other,” Fives added, waggling his brow at Marliss. “Show us how much they've learned.”

Rex frowned, but Marliss simply rolled her eyes. “Come here, Fives; I think I've figured out the easiest way to take you down.”

Brenna could see the debate in Rex's eyes, but she shook her head and stepped towards him even as Fives practically bounded over to her roommate. “Start with the backwards grip-thing,” Brenna said as she braced her legs beneath her. “I think that was my favorite.”

At his lifted brow she flushed and shook her head, which made him grin as he reached for her. Even as he “attacked” her, it was more than a little distracting to have him pressed close to her, his arms around her torso. However, after a few moments she was able to concentrate on what she was supposed to be doing, and she was actually able to slip out of his grasp, though she knew he hadn't been really trying.

As she was about to tell him to not go easy on her, Fives' voice broke above the ambient sounds of the gym. “Is that all you've got, Marliss? Is that the best you can do?”

Looking over, Brenna saw that the ARC trooper was bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet, offering quick but harmless jabs at her roommate as Marliss avoided the movements. There was a smirk of his face and his eyes were flashing with delight, probably because he had all of Marliss' attention at the moment, even though Brenna could see that the blonde woman was starting to become irritated with his antics.

“I would tone it down if I were you, Fives,” Marliss said, sidestepping to avoid another blow. At her words, Rex shot Brenna a cautious glance, but she shook her head. Her roommate was more than capable of dealing with Fives.

The ARC trooper grinned at Marliss as he approached again. “Oh, yeah? If I don't, will you pin me?”

Marliss moved surprisingly quickly, considering that this was her first lesson in hand-to-hand combat – that Brenna was aware of, anyway. As the others watched, she struck a sharp knee-jab to Fives' groin, causing the clone's laughter to immediately cease as he yelped and crumpled to the mat, his hands dropped to cover the area from further injury.

“Haar'chak,” he hissed, sucking in his breath as Marliss stood over him, hands on her hips. “Kriffing son of a...”

“You said 'go for the groin,' didn't you?” Marliss replied with raised brows. “I was just following your instructions.”

In the corner of her eye, Brenna could see the other clones in the gym exhibiting varying degrees of pained and sympathetic looks, though more than a few were chuckling and shaking their heads. He'd been asking for it, after all.

Beside Brenna, Rex was one of the men who was wincing. She glanced his way and gave him a knowing look. “Just so we're clear, you've done nothing to warrant a knee in the crotch.”

“Glad to hear that,” he said, his expression smoothing as he reached his arm around her waist.

Beyond them, Fives groaned again.

*****​

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A/N: Apparently, I'm not too old to enjoy a "shot to the groin" bit. Ah, well. Maturity is overrated. ​

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Next time: another battle...​

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Thanks for reading! ​

 

Laloga! This was just pure and simple fun Nothing like hand to hand combat /sparring verbally aka flirting to liven up an afternoon. Marliss and Fives are just cute together even though they probably wouldn't admit to the 'together' thingy

 

@Nyota's Heart: Yay! That chapter was meant to be a nice, fun little break before the next bout of angst. Mar and Fives turned out to be quite the pair...​

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Thanks for the comment! ​

*****​

Chapter Twenty-Eight​

Later that week...

Rex was tired.

He'd left quite a bit behind on the world of Derra IV, including most of his energy and a significant amount of blood, taken from a gash on his upper thigh when his armor had been compromised by a slice of shrapnel. His ears still rang with the sounds of blaster-fire and thermal dets, the electronic dampers in the clones' buckets having been temporarily disabled by a few Seppie EMP grenades.

Once the battle had been won, he'd allowed himself to be loaded onto a hover-stretcher to be returned to the Resolute, as his leg hurt too much to put any amount of weight on at the moment. But it didn't matter, because – as he'd messaged to Brenna – he'd be fine. A meal, a few days of rest, perhaps a nice massage or ten, and he'd be good as new.

Derra IV had not claimed any of his brothers, and for that he was nothing but thankful.

In one way he felt callous for the feeling, as a number of the Spaartis had been lost, but in another he didn't feel as...connected to them as he did to the men he considered his true brothers, to Jesse, Tup, Kix and the rest who were on the gunship with him as the pilot waited for clearance to take off. The engines of the LAAT/i whined, as if the vehicle was as impatient to leave as the men it carried, but Rex – lying on the gently floating stretcher – felt a strange sense of calm.

Well, not so strange, not when he could recall that Kix had injected him with enough painkillers to keep him lying here, still and useless. Rex wanted to scold the medic for doing so, because he was fine, really he was, and there was no reason to incapacitate him when he had so much to do. This thought prompted him to try and lift his head so that he could find and reprimand Kix, but his body didn't listen to him and continued to just lie still. Rex struggled for a moment more, then decided he should probably acquiesce to the meds, this one time.

Eyes closed, bucket resting next to his head as if standing sentinel, he shifted his focus and listened to the melody of his brothers' voices, letting their words trickle into his mind because it was good to hear them speak.

Tup was standing at his right shoulder, his voice still filled with battle-churned adrenaline, and Rex figured that the lad would be fast asleep the moment that he stepped into the barracks and crashed from the hormone-high. “I can't believe we pulled that one off. I thought we were going to get blown into oblivion after the Spaartis started setting off those booby-traps.”

“They kept right on going, didn't they?” Coric replied from his place at Rex's left side. “They may not have had the sense to avoid the traps, but they certainly had enough energy to push through them.”

Jesse spoke next, giving a soft grunt of assent before he changed the subject: “We could have used Fives for this one. Too bad that di'kut's off doing his fancy ARC stuff right now.”

By the unusually solemn tone of his voice, he was exhausted; Rex recalled that the tattooed clone had done quite a number on a pack of droiddekas, and made a mental note to honor his actions in front of the others.

As soon as he could get up.

“Appo's been working them pretty hard in the sims. I guess he got them motivated.” Coric sounded skeptical.

Jesse gave a snort. “That's one way of putting it. I've heard they're all like that, all the Spaartis who've been pushed into the GAR in the last couple of weeks.”

“So this is normal, now,” Tup replied in a quiet voice. “It seems...wrong, doesn't it?”

There was a pause, during which Rex heard more brothers step aboard the gunship; as he'd done since the fighting had ended he mentally tallied them, adding a name and a face to the treads he could recognize and frowning when he realized that it was Coric who'd been limping, and again when Chopper expelled his breath with a pained hiss as he sat down somewhere to the left.

Present and accounted for, all. Injured, but alive. Rex breathed a sigh of relief and thanked whatever gods lived on Derra IV that it was so.

A soft touch at his left thigh, at the site of his injury; Kix had wrapped his leg in bacta-packs, but was probably still concerned with infection. Jesse spoke a moment later. “The captain's out cold, isn't he?”

“He should be,” Kix replied in a dry voice. “I gave him enough painkillers to make him sleep, but I think he's being stubborn. As usual.”

“Captain, you did enough out there to keep us safe...now you need to rest.” Tup's tone was concerned and vaguely chiding, and Rex felt a pat at his shoulder. He wanted to speak, but knew that any words he could get out would be blurry and useless.

Damn that medic.

The pitch of the gunship's engines shifted from a whine to a louder, throaty buzz, and Rex heard the blast doors close. Moments later, the pressure around him changed as the transport lifted from the dirt and began to make its way to the upper atmosphere, where the Resolute was waiting.

Where Brenna was waiting. No doubt she would be worried for him, but he couldn't quite remember if he'd sent his message to her before or after the meds that Kix had forced on his person. Hopefully before; she'd commented in the past about getting nonsensical messages from him, reading him some of the more entertaining ones, the ones that had made her laugh, but only after she'd assured herself that he was okay.

Among other things, Rex was grateful that he was returning to her once more. With that thought – plus the fact that he couldn't really hear anything that the others were saying over the droning engines – he fell back and allowed sleep to overrun his body and mind.

*​

Brennn: mm fine. Scratch leg, nobad. Kixpatchedme up welll. Backs oon.

Furrowing her brow, Brenna studied the message that Rex had sent her; it was easy enough to decipher what he meant, but she found that she didn't care for the thought that he'd been injured enough to require heavy medication.

But he was alive and he was returning to her. For that she was nothing but grateful.

A moment later her comlink buzzed again: Miss Damaris, it's Kix. Rex is – as I think he tried to tell you – just fine. He caught a bit of shrapnel in his leg, but he's on the mend and should be good as new after a bit of rest.

Her throat caught at the mention of “a bit of shrapnel,” but she was touched beyond measure that Kix had thought to alert her of Rex's condition, so she hurried to reply.

Thanks, Kix. I'm glad he has you to look out for him. I hope you made it through okay, and the others as well.

There was a pause, then she had to smile at the medic's reply: We're all in one piece, Miss Damaris. Thank you.

*​

When Rex woke up, everything in his field of vision was painfully bright, so he knew that he was back on the Resolute, in the medbay. Even so, it took him a few moments to orient himself, squinting his eyes against the harsh glare of the lights above his head and trying to make out the figures of those in the beds that surrounded him.

It was quiet, but not pleasantly so. It was not the kind of quiet that accompanied wounded men who were resting, but a more permanent kind.

It was the quiet of the dead.

Terror caught in his throat for an instant, because he could have sworn that none of his brothers had fallen on Derra IV – he'd been the only one who'd been injured enough to wind up here, hadn't he?

Rex fought against the sluggishness of the painkillers, and after a brief struggle was able to raise his head and look around. As his vision cleared, he realized that he didn't recognize anyone who was in the other beds of the medbay. Disliking the fact, he gave a few hard blinks, as if he could force recognition into his brain, and – thankfully – after another moment or two he frowned to himself as he registered the fact that it was Spaarti clones who filled the beds around him. They were silent, every one. Some were sleeping, as evidenced by the steady rise and fall of their chests. Some were awake, staring at the ceiling with eyes that appeared to see nothing. Some were dead.

He recognized them at once, for their bodies had been completely covered with sheets, and his frown deepened. The dead were not supposed to remain in the medbay; standard operating procedure dictated that they be cremated immediately upon returning to the ship, their armor distributed among those who were left or returned to Kamino to be processed and recycled.

“Captain.” Kix's voice was soft, familiar, but was a marked contrast to the silence of the surrounding clones. The medic was at his side, his eyes glancing over Rex's form with a practiced sweep. “You should be asleep.”

“Why are there dead men here, Kix?” Rex was sure to pitch his voice low, so not to disturb any of the others.

Kix's expression remained calm but he gave a deep sigh and a very small shake of his head, the kind that you never wanted to see on the man who was in charge of your health. “From what I heard, the incinerator locked up...from overuse. I didn't ask for more details.”

The captain stared at him for a moment, then looked back around at the others. Not a single of the Spaarti clones seemed even a little interested in the conversation, even though he felt a bit sick to his stomach. “How many of them didn't make it back?”

There was a weighted pause. “Over half of the Spaartis that came down with us fell during the battle.”

“Over...half...?”

Kix nodded, then grimaced and rubbed at his forehead; Rex noted the shadows under his brother's eyes. “I'm sorry, Rex. I always seem to be the one to give you the bad news.”

“No, Kix,” Rex replied, shaking his head. “It's not-”

“It is. It's my duty.” Kix offered him a wan smile, then thumbed towards the doorway. “They only just left about a quarter of an hour ago – Commander Tano, Jesse, Tup and some of the others – I told them that you weren't supposed to be awake for another few hours. Figures you'd try and prove me wrong.”

Rex chuckled, but he didn't know if it was because he actually wanted to laugh, or because he was trying to prevent himself from crying. He glanced around at the Spaarti clones again, his brow furrowed. “Offhand, do you happen to know the casualty numbers for the Spaartis in other units besides ours?”

There was a pause while Kix considered, his expression the one of a man who was trying to think of a tactful way to phrase his words. “About the same, from what I've heard. But the GAR keeps refilling the ranks with more of them like they've done with Torrent, so it hardly seems to make an impact on the units' effectiveness.”

Although Rex had been expecting a similar answer, the words still struck. He nodded once, thinking that maybe he should try and comm Cody later, to see if the commander's experiences with the Spaartis had been similar. With that, he gave Kix a warm look. “Thanks for watching over me – again. I know I'm a terrible patient.”

“Yes, well, I'm used to your kind of terrible, Captain,” Kix replied with a smile. “And I'm happy to help.” There was a pause, then he cleared his throat. “I hope you don't mind, but I comm'd Miss Damaris to let her know that you were okay; I wasn't sure if you'd managed to send her a readable message or not.”

Casting his memory back, Rex thought that he had sent her a message, but he was certain that it had been post-meds, so there was really no telling what he'd said. Hopefully nothing too alarming. He smiled at Kix and nodded. “Thanks, vod. Did she reply back?”

“She did.”

He hated that she worried for him while he was in combat, but he knew that it would happen whether or not he liked it. “How did she seem?”

Kix shrugged. “Worried, if I had to guess. But she...” He paused again, and Rex noted with amusement that the other clone's neck had started flushing. “She thanked me. She said that she hoped I was okay, and the others as well. It was...very kind.”

At his words, Rex felt a rush of something that was like affection, but far, far stronger. Not only did Bren care for him but she cared for his brothers as well, which never ceased to surprise him for all that he should have been well-aware of the fact by now.

I love you, Rex.

Did he love her?

It was the million-cred question. As much as he wanted to say the words back, he felt disingenuous if he didn't truly know that they was real, that he truly meant them. Sometimes he thought that he knew, but he wasn't one-hundred percent certain; he wanted to be certain, when it came to Brenna.

When, he'd said to her. Not if. He meant that, because he knew that it was a matter of time.

Time. He just needed a little more time to think about it, to make sure.

After a moment, Kix cleared his throat and shot Rex a knowing look. “Captain, you're to remain here until I clear you, and I don't want you even thinking about putting any weight on that leg until the bacta has had a chance to do its job – another ten hours, at least.”

“Kix-”

“No, Rex,” the medic said, deliberately dropping the honorific, which was how Rex knew that he was about to get an earful. “You're under orders. You're not to leave this bed until I clear you, is that understood?”

Rex had been opening his mouth to object, but Kix silenced him with a very sharp glare that would have been worrisome had they been against one another on the battlefield. “Rex, if the next words out of your mouth are anything but 'yes, Kix,' I'll toss your shebs back in the bacta tank faster than you can say 'five hundred and first.'”

There was a pause as Rex snapped his jaw shut, exhaled through his nose, then said: “Yes, Kix.”

He couldn't resist adding a glower, but Kix's expression had smoothed again. The medic nodded and moved to step away, tossing his next words over his shoulder. “Get some rest, brother. You need it.”

After sending another message to Brenna, letting her know he was still okay and – this time – coherent, Rex did just that. Perhaps he could sleep most of the next ten hours away.

*****​

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A/N: This is one of my favorite chapters. I love "post-battle" scenes, when everything is sort of relieved and quiet, and the Kix/Rex convo always makes me smile. (Medics! What's not to love? ) Rex's message to Brenna amuses me as well. ​

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As always, thanks for reading, and don't be shy about leaving a comment. ​

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Next time: more aftermath of Derra IV, and a conversation with Appo.​

 

Enjoyed the Kix/Rex exchange & Those Spaartis seem to have a serious design flaw. Rex's thoughts on having time -- being in the midst of frequent battles, it's a very dicey thing from one day to the next.

 

@Nyota's Heart: Yeah, the Spaartis are going to spell future trouble, that's for sure. They were an interesting element to explore, story-wise, though. ​

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You're absolutely right; there's no guarantee that Rex *will* have the time he feels like he needs. Sigh.​

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Thanks so much for the comment! ​

*****​

Chapter Twenty-Nine​

When Rex's eyes opened again, it was to the sound of Appo's voice.

“I'm glad to see that you're still in one piece, Captain.” The familiar 501st blue was something of a comfort to Rex's eyes, but the tone of the other man's voice was unsettling in a way that shouldn't have been, and Rex couldn't quite figure out just why it was so.

Bucket tucked in the crook of his arm, Appo considered the captain for a moment before adding: “Command was impressed with our work on Derra IV; there's word of another promotion for me.”

It hurt to move, but Rex managed to sit up so that he could speak with the other man. “I'm glad to hear that, Appo. You've earned it.”

“You could have one too, sir,” Appo said as his eyes fixed on Rex's face with something like hope. “If you'd allow it.”

It was true; he'd been offered promotions before – a number of times, actually – but Rex had always turned them down. Leaving Torrent behind was unthinkable, and his loyalties had only become more firmly fixed on his men in recent months, despite the fact that the larger-scale brotherhood he'd always known seemed to be shrinking away to nothing.

“I'm fine where I am, lad,” Rex replied with a shake of his head.

Dropping his eyes, Appo said nothing for a beat, and Rex was struck with the realization that the other clone's expression had shifted to one of regret, though after a moment Appo nodded and glanced over Rex and the bio-bed with a curious look. “You were the only one in the company who wound up here, weren't you, Captain?”

“I was. Thank the Force for that.”

Appo made a noncommittal noise and nodded again, but the gesture was vague this time, as if his mind was far afield. Rex indicated the Spaarti clones who were spread through the room; by now it seemed that all of the dead men had been removed so only the living remained. “So many of them fell today, Appo, but they manage just fine with the training sims, from what I understand.”

“Sims are just that, sir,” Appo replied with another shrug. “Simulations. Not reality, where things rarely go as planned, or even close to it. They aren't equipped for battle as you and I are because their strength is in their numbers.”

Perhaps Rex's expression gave away more of his surprise than he'd meant, for the lieutenant shook his head and spoke with hesitation. “Sir, I know you haven't been around them as much as I have, but they're bred to be...expendable, in a sense.”

For a moment Rex was flabbergasted to the point of being speechless. Based on what he'd heard from Ahsoka and Kix, he'd formed an opinion that perhaps the Spaartis were...off in some way. Additionally, Rex knew that Appo was working to bring them up to par, but failing.

Personally, Rex thought that it was because the way that the GAR kept bringing in more and more Spaartis seemed to suggest that those in charge preferred to replace the clones who'd fallen rather than see that those who survived received better training. It was beyond frustrating, but since the matter had been taken out of Rex's hands, he had to focus his attention on keeping the men who remained under his care alive and well.

But he'd had no idea, no idea at all, that the lieutenant's mindset was so...impersonal.

In the manner of most clones, Appo seemed to catch on to the captain's thoughts, and he gave a shake of his head. “With respect, sir, they're fulfilling their purpose, just as we are. Surely you can understand that.”

There was no warmth in Appo's voice, only resignation of the Spaartis' lot, and the look in his eyes made Rex think that he'd admitted defeat – if only to himself – and accepted the Spaarti clones' supposed “expendable” nature in lieu of trying to get them to be more than they were programmed to be, which – Rex thought – is what he would have done had he been in Appo's place. Even if it was a futile effort, it was worth it.

But Appo didn't seem to feel this way. This understanding saddened Rex beyond measure, while at the same time it strengthened his own resolve to ensure that his own brothers were never thought of in this callous fashion.

As if in confirmation of all of this, Appo spoke again, his tone almost pleading. “I know how this sounds, Captain, but you and I both know that some calls just aren't ours to make. Sir, it's not for us to say that things should be otherwise, nor is it our place to pass judgment on the way things are right now.”

It struck Rex that perhaps the younger clone had come seeking validation of a sort, for he had been put into a difficult position. However, if Appo truly believed that the Spaartis were expendable, Rex knew that nothing he could bring himself to say would be a comfort to the lieutenant.

That in mind, Rex held Appo's gaze for a beat before he replied. “I guess that's one way of looking at it.”

He said nothing more after that. After another few moments, Appo gave a salute, then turned on his heel and exited the medbay. The moment he was gone, Rex exhaled and leaned back into the pillows, his eyes on the lights above his head as Appo's words circled through his brain. As he did so, the thought occurred to him that perhaps it was too late for the rest of the army to be considered anything but cannon fodder.

No, he thought with a shake of his head. All of our brothers are men, not drones. They're not expendable. Every life mattered. It was not what he'd been trained to believe, but rather a truth he'd come to understand on his own, and he didn't have it within him to think otherwise.

Despite this, he didn't think that there was anything he could do about the Spaartis, but Rex knew that for his vode, his brothers, he would never stop fighting.

*​

By the time Kix cleared him to leave the medbay, Rex was chomping on the proverbial bit; of course he had a thousand things to do, all sorts of post-battle matters that had to be addressed, but as soon as he stepped out of the medbay in his off-duty fatigues, the very first thing he did was make his slightly limping way to Brenna's office. She'd messaged him while he was asleep, saying that she'd be working late, but he found that he couldn't wait until she was done with work to see her.

The moment that the office door slid open and he saw her familiar form standing on the other side of the threshold, it was as if something heavy and oppressive that had been sitting on his chest evaporated, and he exhaled in relief. She smiled – a beam, really – and reached her arms around his neck, drawing him into the small room without a word.

After a few breathless moments, after he'd tasted her and absorbed the scent that was wholly Brenna, he smoothed back a few errant strands of hair that had found their way across her face. “I missed you.”

“I can tell.” She was grinning as she leaned up to kiss his cheek. “I missed you, too.”

Rex glanced at her consoles and then back at her. “Are you busy? Is it alright if I stay here for a few minutes?”
“More than that, I hope,” she replied, watching as he eased himself into the extra chair that she always kept free of clutter now. “How bad is your leg? Didn't you need crutches or anything?”

He shook his head, watching as she slid into her customary place before her desk. “Not this time, happily.” She didn't look convinced, so he patted his upper thigh and gave her a half-smile. “Takes more than a bit of metal to stop me, Bren.”

At his words, she made a noncommittal noise, but he could still read the worry in her eyes. However, she nodded and glanced back at the myriad screens; for a moment he watched her work, noting the way that her fingertips flew over the streams of data that made no kriffing sense to him and thinking how thankful he was to have returned to her again.

After a little while she paused in her work and reached into a drawer beside her to rummage through the contents. “I have something I've been meaning to give to you, if you'd like it,” she said as she searched. “Something that Caith sent me...here you go.”

She pulled out several sheets of flimsi and handed them to him. They appeared to be transferred images, likely from her datapad, for he recognized Iri's artwork at once; the scribbled lines of trees and mountains reminded him of the pics of Alderaan he'd seen both in her office and her cabin. “I thought you might like one to hang in your office,” she added as he flipped through the pictures. “No offense, but it's kind of...bland in there.”

Most of the pictures appeared to be landscapes, though there was one towards the end of the stack that caught his attention. It was of a large tree whose trunk took up most of the entire page; its leaves were several vibrant shades of green that looked suspiciously like tiny fingerprints, and the trunk itself was made up of swirling browns. In the branches, he could see splotches of yellow in a rough, circular shape, which he took to be the Alderaani sun.

It was messy; it was beautiful. He studied the fingerprints and idly skimmed his own index finger over one of the more distinct ones, noting the vast difference in size. The child who'd made this was a child of a clone and of Brenna; even though he considered himself nothing like her father – nothing like Tucker – genetically...well, Irini could have been his, had things been different.

It wasn't a thought, or a realization. It was a kick in the chest, aimed directly at his heart.

His child.

Rex exhaled and tried to push the thought aside as a silly fantasy, because that's all it was. There was that longing again, the one that he recognized as something that he'd felt in the presence of Cut and the other man's family; however, then it had been faint compared to right now, while his finger hovered over Iri's tiny prints.

Bren was quiet while he looked; after a moment he glanced at her and held up the tree. “This one...are you sure you don't want it?”

She shrugged, but he could see that she was pleased. “I have the rest, and you really do need something in that office of yours.”

Nodding, he set the tree to the side for him to take with him when he left. As he did so, he noticed a picture on her desk that he'd missed, somehow. Like many of the others, it was of Brenna and Iri, both of whom were grinning; in this one, the little girl was seated in her mother's lap and before both of them rested what he reckoned was a lifeday cake with a single candle at its center.

“This is nice,” he said, reaching to pick it up and get a better look. “Her first lifeday?”

When Bren's eyes fell on the pic, he watched as regret crossed her face; her hand trembled as she took it from him and studied the image for a moment before replying. “Sort of...this is from the last time I saw her – right after I took this posting, about six months ago – which was quite a while from her actual birthday. The Resolute was close to Alderaan and I managed to sneak away for a few hours. Since I missed her real birthday, Caith and his wife threw another party so I could make it.”

Rex felt his eyes widen as he looked back at the pic; now that he knew the story behind the image, he felt a pang of sympathy for the brown-haired woman sitting close to him. “It's been so long since you've seen her.”

“I used up all of my leave after she was born,” Brenna replied, eyes still on the picture in his hand. “Didn't I ever tell you?” He shook his head and she took a deep breath before continuing. “After I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I wanted to have the baby on Alderaan, but since we're only allotted a small bit of leave I needed to wait as long as possible before I left my posting on the Temerity.”

She gave him a look that was supposed to be wry, but there was pain behind her eyes. “Iri arrived a bit sooner than I expected, so I had her in the medbay of the Temerity, then spent about three months on Alderaan with Caith, getting her settled in.”

“Three months?”

Brenna inhaled and nodded; he got the sense that she was fighting back a wave of sorrow, so he reached for her hand, squeezing it gently in a silent encouragement to continue. “It wasn't nearly enough time...but I had no other choice. I miss her,” she added, shaking her head and looking at him. “More than I can ever really say.”

“I'm sorry,” he replied, the sympathy he'd felt before joined by an accompanying sense of helplessness because there was nothing he could do that would ease this kind of pain. “I didn't mean to bring all this up...”

“No, it's important for you to know,” she said with a faint smile. “Iri's my life, even when I'm so far away from her.”

There was a pause as she watched him set the pic back on her desk, then she gave a small shake of her head. “She arrived about three weeks early. I was so worried, but the med-droid did very well and there were no complications during her birth, which was a blessing. Unless,” she added with a tired laugh. “You don't count twenty-two hours of labor as a complication. I wasn't thrilled with it.”

Rex felt his jaw unhinge as he gaped at her. “Twenty-two hours...? That's how long it took Iri to be born?” At her nod he leaned back in his chair, his mind reeling with the implications. “I never thought...I mean...it seems like it should be...faster.”

When she heard this, Brenna chuckled and squeezed his hand. “Thankfully, I don't remember much of the pain after the drugs started working; what I do remember is that it hurt like hell before that, and how terrified I was. And I remember wishing that Caith or Edme could have been with me, but since Iri took all of us by surprise, they didn't make it to the Temerity in time.”

As she mentioned her brother and sister-in-law, she did not say Tucker's name, but Rex thought he could hear the words anyway, and something dark and angry coiled within him at the thought. “So you were alone?”

“The med-droid was there,” she replied with a shrug, but Rex was already shaking his head.

“Tinnies don't count.”

Another chuckle escaped her at this, though it was somewhat forced. “Then yes, Rex. I was alone.” She was quiet for a moment, then began to toy with the hem of her shirt with her free hand as she continued. “It didn't matter by the end because I was so exhausted, and the moment she was in my arms everything else fell away. She was...perfect. She is perfect.”

Brenna gave a sigh as her grip in his hand relaxed just a bit and her gaze became distant. “And later...the first time her eyes opened and looked at me...I became someone new, someone better than I was before she came into my life. It's hard to explain,” she added, shooting him an unreadable look. “She makes me want to be better, all the time. So while I do wish that I'd had someone there, someone whose hand I could have held, it worked out in the end.”

Still trying to wrap his mind around what he'd learned, Rex knitted his brows as he glanced at their joined hands. “Why did you want to hold someone's hand?”

“Because it hurt so much,” she replied, her voice soft. “And I was so scared...I just...” She blinked and shook her head. “It would have been nice to squeeze someone's hand. I think I would have felt less alone, maybe been less afraid, even if the other person couldn't have done anything but be with me.”

Here she gave a light chuckle, though she was still blinking rapidly. “I would have probably broken Caith's hand if he'd made it there, anyway. I'm pretty sure I had a death-grip on the bio-bed's railing.”

Something in her words struck him, so Rex lifted up their joined hands and nodded to her querying look. “Squeeze,” he said to her.

“What?”

“As hard as you can,” he urged, eying her hand with intensity. “I want to see something. Come on, Bren...don't hold back.”

As he said the words, he shot her a smile; after a moment he felt pressure from her hand in his, hard enough so that her fingers tightened around his palm and he could see her arm trembling with the strain of her effort. She had a pretty decent grip; he could have outmatched it had he wanted to, but that wasn't the point, because Brenna's story had made him realize something.

On the battlefield he was surrounded by brothers, with support by the Jedi and the rest of the GAR; at rest on the Resolute or on an Republic base, he was still close to other people. While on missions of any kind, he at least had a few others with him – even Coric had been with him on Teth. Hell, even in the relative privacy of his office he was never more than a comm away from his brothers. Even in the depths of his dreams and nightmares, there were other clones.

The understanding struck him that in all his days, he had never been completely alone, not like she'd been, and he felt a strange mixture of pride and sorrow: one for her strength and the other for what she'd had to endure on her own.

After a few moments he nodded and she released his grip, sitting back in her chair with an amused look as he rubbed his hand. “Not bad,” he said with a raised brow. “But I'd be okay, I think.”

“What do you mean?”

Rex took a breath and reached for her again; he slid his chair so that his was wedged as close as possible beside hers and met her eyes as he spoke. “I wish I'd been there. Bren...what Tucker did...I wouldn't have-”

“I know,” she replied, blinking. “Rex, I know you wouldn't have.”

“But it wouldn't be because of obligation or some sense of duty,” he continued, feeling his mouth grow dry, because he knew what he was going to say, and because all of a sudden he was terrified. “It would be because I wanted to be there, for our child, for you, and for us – for the family that we'd be making. It would be because I love you, Bren.”

With that, he reached his free hand to cup her cheek, working to ignore the way his heart was hammering against his ribs and trying to muddle his thoughts. “I don't know much right now, but I know that whenever I'm away from you, all I want is to be with you again. I know that we're taking precautions to make sure that you don't get pregnant, but if you did – I know that I'd be happy. Terrified, but overjoyed as well, because I love you, and if it were up to me, I'd never spend another second away from your side.”

Her lips parted but no sound came out; finally, she gave a sharp inhale, then extracted herself from his grip she she could fully embrace him, coming out of her chair and nearly falling into his lap as she did so. In return, Rex wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her as close to himself as he was able and drinking in her scent, memorizing the feel of her body against his own and savoring it all.

After a moment she pulled back and tilted her face up to him, her brown eyes wide with joy. “Say it again?”

Why had it been so difficult to say, before? He'd known all along – he must have known, somewhere in his mind – and he thought that she had as well, which was why she'd never pressured him to reply sooner.

“I love you, Brenna Damaris,” he replied with a smile, though it was mostly at himself and at his prior reticence, because now the words fell out of his mouth with ease. She grinned back at him as he said it again and again, until the words faded to a whisper, then to nothing at all when he pulled her into a kiss that was unlike any other they'd shared so far.

*****​

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A/N: Finally! Took him long enough... ​

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Next time: an interesting conversation with Anakin, plus...other stuff. (Vague enough for you? )​

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Thanks for reading!​

 

Appo's observations and reactions -- Interesting. Brenna's story about Iri -- awwww! But the rest ... SQUEEEE! Melty melt. That was worth the wait.

 

@Nyota's Heart: Aww, thanks so much! "Worth the wait;" always lovely to hear. Thank you for you continued support and encouragement! You're all kinds of awesome! ​

*****​

Chapter Thirty​

Several days later, Rex was in the tactical room of the Resolute when General Skywalker found him. The Jedi moved almost silently, but Rex had trained his ear to pick up even the smallest of sounds; when he caught the familiar cadence of the general's boots, he glanced up from the readout of Bimmisaari he'd been studying and offered a salute to his CO. Nodding, the sandy-haired Jedi approached the holo-proj, and they stood together, watching the slowly rotating image of the planet that had recently fallen under Seppie control.

After a few moments, Skywalker shot the clone captain a glance. “How's it going, Rex?”

“The refugees from Bimmisaari have all been accounted for, sir,” he replied at once, indicating the readout of the planet's surface. “In the nick of time, too, as their colony was overrun with clankers by the time we were ready to bang out.”

A faint chuckle from the Jedi made Rex's brow lift. “I meant with you, Rex. Personally.” At Rex's look of surprise, Skywalker elaborated. “I've heard...talk that you've found a special someone.”

Talk? What kind of talk? Of course his men gossiped nonstop, but Rex had been fairly certain that specific details of his personal life had not reached the upper echelons of command. Ahsoka knew some of it, but she was not in the habit of spreading gossip. Nevertheless, he figured he ought to say something in reply.

However, when Rex opened his mouth no words came out, which made the general chuckle again. A knowing look on his face, Skywalker nudged Rex's armored side with his elbow. “Man-to-man: you're...er...being safe, right?”

“What?” Flummoxed, Rex didn't even think to add the customary “sir;” indeed, all he seemed capable of doing was slamming his jaw shut so that he wouldn't sputter in confusion – any more than he already had, of course.

Skywalker gave a thoughtful frown, the kind which Rex could never tell if it was serious or not, no matter how long he'd spent in this particular Jedi's company. “I hope I don't have to explain that to you.”

This was too much. Way, way too much. Rex shook his head rapidly, perhaps more than was necessary. “Er...no, sir. No instruction necessary about...that.” Shab, that sounded idiotic.

In response, Skywalker chortled and slapped the captain's armored shoulder. “Relax, Rex. For kriff's sake...I'm just kidding.”

Almost immediately, the other man grew quiet and solemn as he continued to study the clone; the strength of Skywalker's eyes on him gave Rex the uncomfortable impression that the Jedi was peering directly into his brain. Finally Skywalker cleared his throat and glanced back at the readout of Bimmisaari, still rotating before them. “I should tell you, though...”

He trailed off, grimacing, and Rex felt his own curiosity spiking despite the fact that he was less-than thrilled with the intense, personal turn that the conversation had taken. “Sir?”

Skywalker sighed and shook his head. “It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, Rex. Love someone, I mean.”

With this, he cast the captain a look that was unlike any Rex had ever seen; he seemed...vulnerable, almost. It was passing strange, as Rex had seen this Jedi take down legions of droids with just a wave of his hand. He'd seen Skywalker battle countless foes, seen the expression of battle-fervor take a hold of him where it should have been kept at bay by calm control, as was the case with Jedi like General Kenobi. He'd seen this man mete out death and destruction like he was born to it.

But he'd never seen him look quite so scared.

Except, Rex realized suddenly, a handful of times; if he cast his memory back, each occasion had one thing in common, one person whose life was at stake. Senator Amidala. Of course; the pieces were all there, waiting to be fit together. Rex tried to keep his face from revealing his thoughts and instead focused on his feelings for Brenna so that the Jedi wouldn't pick up that the secret was out.

Given the general's next words, it must have worked.

“It's even more difficult than being a Jedi,” Skywalker added, shaking his head and frowning, the look of fear dissipating instantly, replaced with conviction. “But it's worth it. Love is worth every bit of hardship a man can face, because loving someone – and having them love you back – it makes you stronger, Rex. Makes you better. Gives you something real to fight for, something to help you find your way when everything else around you is dark.”

His mind reeling from the implications of what he was hearing, Rex was only able to respond with a meager, “Sir?”

The Jedi gave a sigh, and shook his head. “Nevermind. Rex...look, just forget all of that; I'm tired, I guess. Anyway, all I wanted to say that I'm...happy for you. Whoever she is, she's a lucky lady.”

There was silence for a moment, then Rex nodded and met the Jedi's eyes when he spoke. “Thank you, Anakin.”

Another pause, then the general's face transformed again, revealing a cocky smirk as the other man patted his saber-hilt, resting on his belt. “I was also glad to hear about this, because I used to think that you were angling for my Padawan.”

Despite the jovial words, there was the faintest threatening edge to the Jedi's tone, heightened as Rex watched his gloved hands brush the weapon at his side. Even so, the captain was able to keep his reply light. “Not on your life, General.”

*​

Later that evening, Brenna was seated cross-legged on her bunk, freshly showered and preparing to watch a vid that Caith had sent her, when the door to her cabin opened; since Marliss was at work, she knew that there was only one other person who had the lock-code. With a smile, she sat up as Rex entered her room, locking the panel behind him before he stepped over to her. Brenna leaned up on her knees; Rex knelt down, and they kissed a greeting.

Neither one said anything for a few moments, until he pulled back so that he could set his bucket down on the edge of her bed; after rolling his shoulders – giving the slightest wince as he did so – he sat beside her and began to remove his armored plating, nodding to the datapad. “Is that from your brother?”

“It is,” she replied, activating the playback and rested the datapad in her lap. “But I don't know...”

Her words trailed off as Iri appeared, giving a toothy grin as she waved into the holo-camera. “Hi, Mama!”

In the background, Brenna could hear her brother gently directing the little girl as she began to hold up an assortment of pictures that she'd drawn and painted. Each one was explained in great detail, with Caith asking Iri to describe the colors, as the transmission threw everything into a blue wash. As she watched the recording, Brenna held herself very still because with each word from her daughter, her own heart seemed to tighten with longing.

Suddenly, something warm reached across both of her shoulders; Rex had removed most of his armor and had slid closer to her, pulling her to his side. Without a thought, she leaned her head against his shoulder and they watched the rest of Iri's message in silence.

It wasn't a particularly lengthy recording. When it ended – with Iri waving again, saying “bye, Mama! Love you!” – Brenna took a few deep breaths to collect herself. She leaned up and cast a grateful look at Rex, who'd been watching with unabashed interest.

“She'd be wasted as a tree,” he said after a moment, looking down at her. “I think she'd make a better artist.”

This made Brenna laugh; she nodded and sat up farther, smoothing back her hair and smiling at him. “Me too.”

He gave her a half-smile, then rose to remove the last of his armored pieces that remained on his legs. As he did so, she rubbed at her wrists – they ached sometimes after long hours of data-input – and watched him. “How was your day?”

“Strange,” he said, glancing her way once he'd stacked his armor in its customary place beside her bunk. “I had an...interesting conversation with General Skywalker.”

“Interesting, how?”

He paused, then lifted a brow at her. “He wanted to talk to me about my personal life.”

Brenna felt her mouth fall open a little bit in surprise, but she shut it abruptly. “What? Why?”

The bunk shifted as he sat down again, and once more when he reached forward and drew her wrists closer to him; as he spoke, he frowned down at her skin before he began to rub small circles – with just the right amount of pressure – over the areas that she'd been favoring. “It's not really a secret about you and I,” he began. “I think he just wanted to offer some advice, in his own way.”

Force, he was good at this. The tight ache in her muscles was loosening beneath his touch, and she fought to keep her eyes from rolling back in her head. “Advice?”

Rex exhaled and she felt his breath warm against her skin. “It started with what I believe was going to be a 'safety' talk,” he said, giving her a knowing look when she glanced at him, alarmed again. In response, he shifted his touch to her fingers, starting with the base of each and moving up to the tips, causing her eyelids to flutter. “But since I'm – thankfully – well-versed in that area he...told me about love. How's that? Better?”

He'd released her hands; she was still tingling from his touch, so much so that it was an effort to speak normally. “I thought that Jedi weren't allowed to love? Your turn. Turn around.”

As he did so, he frowned, the expression indicating nothing so much as consideration, though his eyes closed when she slid open the fastenings of his body-glove at his back, moved the black fabric aside and began to knead his shoulders. “In my experience, the Jedi are just as susceptible to emotions as anyone else...”

He trailed off as she found a collection of knots in his right shoulder-blade, and began to work them loose, pressing her palms against his warm skin and rubbing small, tight circles to relieve the pressure.

“Maybe,” she said after a moment, trying not to chuckle when something popped under her touch, causing Rex to exhale and drop his head forward. “But they seem so...aloof, you know? Separate and distant. Admittedly, I haven't worked with them as closely as you have.”

“They're mortal,” he managed to say, though his words were halting as she found another spot of tension in his neck and focused on relieving it. “All-too mortal. They...make...mistakes...”

When she leaned back, he heaved a sigh and turned to regard her; his body-glove was hanging off of his frame in an odd, haphazard manner, making him look a uncharacteristically unkempt. Brenna couldn't help but smile at him as she added: “And they fall in love, I guess. At least, Skywalker does.”

Rex made an ambiguous noise in the back of his throat and reached for her, drawing her close into a kiss. When they parted she cleared her throat. “I was thinking about sneaking some food in from the mess. Are you hungry?”

The half-smile that he gave her was filled with intent, and she felt her cheeks flush even as she grinned at his answer. “Not for food.”

*​

Two weeks later...

If nothing else, Brenna thought that her aim had improved, though she attributed the fact entirely to Rex's patient instruction rather than any natural ability with a blaster.

“Good shot, Bren.” Marliss sounded impressed, and when Brenna glanced over to where her roommate and Fives were standing in the practice-room, she noted that the other woman wore a look of admiration.

Fives, who'd been hovering by Marliss, let out a low whistle. “Not bad – for a civvie.”

Even though it was often difficult for them to find time to be alone together, Rex had made it a point to see that she practiced with the blaster as much as she was able, in addition to the unarmed self-defense lessons. While she hadn't been a fan of the lessons in the beginning, Brenna found that she felt a certain kind of satisfaction in knowing that she could shoot relatively straight and disable a grown man with only her bare hands. Or try to, anyway.

But Rex was patient, always. And while she enjoyed the more romantic aspects of their relationship, there was something incredibly endearing about his desire to make sure she knew how to protect herself. As was always the case with him, actions, not words, were the things that revealed his true self.

Even so, his admission of a few weeks ago still made her grin like an idiot, every time she heard the words.

Apparently, the lessons were paying off. The target she'd been aiming for was now sporting a scorch-mark near its center, evidence of her increasing comfort with the weapon, so she glanced at Rex with a raised brow. “What do you think?”

“Two inches to the left and you'd have had it,” he replied, and she could read the satisfaction in his eyes as he nodded. “A marked improvement.”

“Much better than Mar over here,” Fives added with a nudge at Marliss' side as he indicated her target, which was empty of scorch-marks...unlike the wall behind it, which had more than a few.

The blonde woman arched her brow at the clone. “I can aim when it counts, ARC boy.”

“Yeah, don't remind me,” Fives replied with a grimace as he stepped away from her. “I don't want to think what you'd do to me if I ever truly pissed you off.”

Brenna missed Marliss' reply, as in that moment her comlink began to buzz; when she pulled it out of her pocket, she noted that the display indicated that there was an incoming holo-transmission from Alderaan. Her brow furrowed even as her throat went dry. Had something happened at home? Was Iri okay? Frowning, she took a few steps away from the others and activated the message, only dimly noting the fact that Rex was tracking her movements.

When Tucker's familiar image bloomed before her, all other thoughts fled from her mind and she had trouble understanding just how and why his Katarn-armored figure was seated at Caith and Edme's kitchen table. “Tucker?”

At her hushed exclamation, Rex was at her side, Fives and Marliss having remained in the distance but probably listening to every word. However, she hardly noticed because a strange sort of dread had began to curl inside of her; she knew with certainty that whatever was going to pass from this moment was not going to be good.

There was a pause, and she couldn't tell if it was the connection or if Tucker was hesitating; she watched as his eyes flicked to Rex and narrowed slightly, but when he spoke his gaze was on her completely. “Bren.”

“Why are you on Alderaan?” There were too many questions, but she figured this was as good a place as any to start.

“I need to talk to you. Alone.” The last word was said with a pointed look towards Rex.

Beside her, she could practically feel Rex frowning, but she kept her eyes on the commando before her. “What's going on, Tucker? Just tell me now.”

“No, it needs to be in person,” he added, shaking his head. “Bren, I need to talk to you face-to-face. I think you should come here.”

Heat and ice warred within her veins, as if she couldn't decide whether to be angry or frightened. “That's ridiculous, Tucker. You know I can't leave the Resolute.”

Tucker gave a sigh that was – she thought – a little pained; however, in the next moment he straightened and seemed to steel his gaze. “I wish you would,” he said in a calm voice that was too deliberate to be genuine. “There's a lot I want to talk to you about.”

Fear began to take over, evidenced by the fact that something cold was stirring within her gut and the way that her throat felt tight. “Where's Caith? Let me speak with him.”

At this, Tucker shrugged and glanced around the kitchen with a casual motion before looking back at her. “No one's home right now but me; I did a brief recon of the place last night and let myself in this morning. By the way, our daughter is so beautiful,” he added with a deep sigh and a smile, the kind that used to make her heart stutter. “She looks just like you, but I can see a bit of myself in her as well.”

“Tucker...what are you saying?” It was an effort to keep her voice calm, but she managed somehow; within, however, she was filled with roiling emotion that continued to sway from fury to fear. Rex put his hand on her arm, which was when she realized she was shaking.

The commando shook his head. “I've already said it, Bren. I want you to come here, to Alderaan. I want to talk to you, and I want to see you and Iri together, because we have to figure this out, one way or another.”

“Tucker...you can't do this,” she replied, her voice trembling. Rex slid his hand down and squeezed her fingers as she continued. “It's not a game. You can't just demand that I drop everything and come see you...I don't-”

“I know it's not a game, Bren,” he said with another shake of his head. “But you need to know how I feel, because this is too important to me to just let it go. I have to try to make you understand.”

“Tucker-”

“I'll see you soon, Brenna.”


The transmission died.

*****​

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A/N: Next time, Bren's got a choice to make. ​

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Thanks for reading! ​

 

Hi, the first scene made me chuckle. Anakin's advice was well-spoken and well-timed, apparently, considering what comes later. The reciprocal massage was melty sweet. Then came ... I'm like: Tucker's lost any and all rights to ask nicely of Bren, much less demand. Got some nerve. Time for figuring out how to make the two of them work is way past toasted.

 

@Nyota's Heart: It was nice to write a sort of "buddy" moment between Anakin & Rex; I really think they got close over the War, and Anakin is in...let's call it a "unique position" to offer some advice. ​

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You're right about Tucker, lol, but he hasn't quite figured that out yet. ​

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Thanks so much for the comment! You rock, as always! ​

*****​

Chapter Thirty-One​

For a moment she was frozen in place, despite the fact that her heart was beating remarkably fast and her breath was short. Then she heard Rex's voice, quiet but heavy with alarm. “Bren?”

Fives and Marliss had forgone any semblance of allowing privacy, and had gathered around her and Rex as well; her roommate put a hand on her shoulder. “You look like you're about to pass out...do you need to sit down?”

“I have to go,” Brenna said suddenly, giving a small shake of her head. “I have to go home...”

“Is Tucker a threat to your daughter?” Rex's words were dark.

This broke Brenna out of her trance; she looked at the man she loved and frowned in consideration. “No. Even though I don't know what he's playing at right now, he was never cruel or violent. He's just...”

“Desperate.”

The word hit so close to home. She remembered the feeling well and she nodded, watching Rex's jaw tighten. All of a sudden there was too much to do and she hardly knew where to start. “I have to talk to my supervisor,” she said after a moment. “Maybe I can beg off some more time...something. I don't know...I have to pack, and try to charter a ship...and Caith! I have to call him...”

Marliss squeezed her shoulder. “Go see your supervisor and call Caith on the way. I'll start packing your things.” She glanced at Fives, who nodded; together they hurried toward the exit, and Brenna idly wondered when they'd gotten so close.

“What can I do?” It wasn't Rex's voice, but rather the warm press of his fingers as they laced with hers that brought her mind back to the present.

“Come with me?” she asked after a moment. “Not to her office, but maybe on the turbolift ride...for moral support.”

Without a word he nodded and they began to make for the nearest 'lift, outside the practice-room; once they were on their way to her work-sector, she called Caith, then Edme. Receiving no answer, she sent them each a quick message to relate what was going on – adding that she didn't want any authorities involved. It had occurred to her that Tucker had defected; if so, she had no wish to see him carted off to Kamino...or find out just how far a desperate man could be pushed.

After she did so, Rex shot her a look that was probably meant to be very calm, but she could see the agitation in the lift of his pulse. “Do you think he'll try to...take her away?”

Brenna's throat caught at first, but after a moment she shook her head. “I don't think so, Rex. But to be honest...I don't know him that well. We only knew each other for about six months before I got pregnant and he left; before that, it was...” Her cheeks grew warm and she swallowed. “It was very casual.”

Rex glanced back at the panel of the 'lift. “I didn't realize...”

“Of all the people in the galaxy I could have chosen to be linked to for the rest of my life,” she said suddenly, tugging his hand just a little so that he turned and met her eyes. “Tucker isn't on the list. Not even close. Rex, I never felt...I never loved him. I might have liked him – a lot – but it wasn't real. It wasn't like this.”

His fingers were still laced with hers, and she held up their joined hands. “It wasn't love.”

He gave a quiet exhale and nodded, but said nothing else; just then, the doors opened and she was faced with a long hallway, stretched out before her. “I can take it from here; I'll be back at my cabin as soon as I can,” she said as she stepped out of the 'lift. “Will you...?”

“I'll meet you there,” he replied with a nod. He seemed to consider something, then reached for her, giving her a fierce kiss against her mouth; the action seemed to say that he held no grudge against her for the mistakes of her past that were still catching up with her, it seemed. However, while she welcomed the kiss and the meaning behind it, it also served to remind her of what she could lose if things went badly, as she suspected they might.

The kiss ended and she moved away from him, turning to hurry down the corridor, alone.

*​

Once she was gone, Rex activated the 'lift panel, setting it for her level. Once he felt the thing moving, he leaned back against the wall and rubbed at his forehead, because he figured that he knew what was going to happen. She'd said that she had no more leave; she'd said that civilian contractor jobs were highly sought-after, with many folks looking to earn a good bit of cash in exchange for work that wasn't terribly difficult.

Rex knew very well what she had not voiced: if Brenna left the Resolute, she might not be able to return.

As the 'lift hummed beneath his back, he tried to shake the thought away. It was speculation, at best. Perhaps there was some kind of contingency that the GAR offered in case of a family emergency...worrying would serve no purpose other than to upset himself and her; he knew that she needed to focus all of her attention on what was best for her daughter, not what he wanted.

Where Brenna was concerned, her daughter came first. It was something that he understood: caring for something – someone – more than you cared for yourself. It was also one of the things he loved about the brown-haired woman: her resolve to give her child the best possible life, despite the odds that either of them faced.

But if she left...

Well, it would hurt like hell, and he knew that losing her would bring about a kind of pain that he didn't know how to combat.

It was growing difficult to breathe, so Rex forced himself to seek out his battle-coolness that had served him so well in the past. He refused to give into the thrumming anxiety that was welling within him because he needed to be strong for her; on top of everything else, it would be that much harder for Brenna if she knew that he was close to breaking-

Useless. Rex gave in and slammed his fist into the wall of the 'lift with enough force to create a small dent; while the stinging in his hand didn't solve any of his problems, at least the pain gave him something else to focus on, and the dent he'd left brought a tiny measure of satisfaction.

When the turbolift paused at her floor, Rex tried to swallow his apprehension as he hurried to the room that she and Marliss shared, punching in the lock code without a thought. Inside, Fives and Marliss had been true to their word, and were in the process of packing a suitcase and canvas backpack with a variety of clothing and other items. Well, more to the point, Marliss was packing and Fives appeared to be offering assistance where he could, which seemed to include staying out of the way and handing her things that she requested.

As Rex entered the room, they each froze. “She's with her supervisor now,” he said before either of them could ask.

Marliss nodded, then gestured to the wall behind Brenna's bunk, where a multitude of pictures were hanging. “I don't want to pack everything until we know for certain...” She trailed off and shot Rex a sympathetic look.

Until we know if she's coming back. Rex nodded and scanned the wall, taking in the various pics; mostly they were of Brenna's daughter, but there were several with images of Alderaan, of sweeping mountains and wide, grassy plains surrounded by dense forests. His gaze lingered on one in particular that featured a craggy mountain in the background, with an azure-colored lake in the foreground, surrounded on all sides by verdant growth. Upon closer inspection, he could make out small shapes at one edge of the lakeshore – some type of equine, he reckoned – in addition what appeared to be a structure in the distance.

It was a beautiful place, wild-looking and windswept, and for one moment he was struck with a mental image of himself, Bren and Iri, walking along the side of the lake. He imagined that the air would be cool – especially with the wind – but that the sun would be warm on their backs, and on their hands, which would be joined.

Perhaps it was a fantasy, especially with the way things were looking now, but suddenly Rex wanted that image to be real more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life. In the past, he'd never allowed himself to expend much energy on idle fantasies because they were just that: fantasies. There was no place for such things in his world, where so much was dependent on his attention being solely on his duty; for someone like him, a longing for things that could never be were merely a distraction, an impediment to his job, and as such could cause much more harm than good in the next battle.

The thought occurred to him that his former “crush” on Ahsoka had been a way to cope with this aspect of his life. Back when he'd harbored romantic feelings for the young Commander, even in the deepest corners of his mind, even on the rare occasion when he'd allow himself a moment of fantasy, he'd never truly believed that something could – or ever would – happen between himself and Ahsoka.

Jedi Code and their differing ranks aside...it was widely known that Togruta and Humans could not successfully reproduce. Even if on the wild, off-chance that a relationship between himself and Ahsoka could have happened, they never would have been able to have a family.

From where Rex stood now, caring for Ahsoka would have been much easier than loving Brenna, with whom he could have a such a thing.

A family.

Something inside Rex fractured even as the understanding bloomed; suddenly, it was as if years of denying himself even idle fantasies had caught up with him so that the things he wanted – the things he'd never allowed himself to want – filled his entire being, completely and totally. But it was not a fierce, fiery longing like passion, because it was bigger, better, more. It was too much for one man to contain. It was pervasive, complete and all-encompassing, and he realized at once that this was what he desired: a future with the woman he loved and her daughter, a future that he could work to shape into a family.

As the realization swept over him, the GAR started to feel more and more like a dream, while the ideals he'd once fought for seemed so far away, smaller and less tangible than even the tiny creatures in the picture.

“That's Zephyr Mountain,” Marliss said, pulling him out of his reverie, making him blink at her in surprise. “It's where Bren's grew up. I think her mother still lives there.”

“It's lovely,” he replied, even though the words felt small when coupled with the magnificence of the image and what it contained. “She's told me a little bit about it, before.”

The blonde woman nodded, then gave him another look that was filled with sympathy. Her mouth opened, but before she could speak the door to the cabin hissed open, and Brenna stepped inside. No one spoke as she activated the lock, nor as she turned to face them. The moment that her eyes met Rex's he knew that the news wasn't good, and he was torn between wanting to punch something again and wanting to embrace her; he chose the latter, crossing the room in a few strides and pulling her close.

“It's not as bad as it could be,” she said after taking a deep breath as if to calm herself before looking up to meet his eyes. “Since I don't have any type of leave, I was told that I'd have to essentially quit my post on this ship, and then reapply for the position later; the odds of me getting back on the Resolute are slim, but since I have experience in combat situations, like on Ithor-” she added, nodding to Fives. “-the GAR will likely see fit to put me on another ship. I just don't know if I can come back to this one.”

“That's not so bad,” Fives said in a hopeful voice. “It's better than an outright 'no,' isn't it? There's a chance.”

“And you can still keep your job with the army,” Marliss added. “You won't be walking away from that, at least.”

Still in Rex's arms, Brenna glanced around the room at the bags her friends had packed, then shot a smile at Fives and Marliss. “Thanks for your help guys, but I think I have it from here.”

“Sure, Bren,” Marliss replied with a nod, though she hesitated in the next moment. “When are you leaving?”

Rex felt the movement of her body as she sighed. “Tomorrow morning a transport that was scheduled to drop off some supplies is going to give me a ride to the nearest GAR base; from there, I'll be able to charter a flight back to Alderaan.”

Tomorrow morning. It was about when he'd been expecting, but it was too soon, nonetheless. Several minutes later, after Fives and Marliss had slipped out, Bren leaned against his armored chest and inhaled as if she was drinking in his scent. When she spoke her voice was hardly a whisper. “I'm so sorry, Rex.”

His arms were still around her; they tightened at her words. “There's nothing to apologize for. Your daughter should always come first, and I know how much you miss being away from her. But...” He frowned and ducked his head so that he could smell her hair. “I'm going to miss you.”

At this she pulled back a little so that she could look up at him. “I'll modify some comlinks so we can send each other transmissions,” she said. “And I'll do everything in my power to get back to the Resolute when I get the mess with Tucker straightened out.”

The words seeded an idea in his mind, and he gave a nod as he considered. Perhaps he could approach Ahsoka, ask her if there was anything that the Padawan could do or say that would ease Brenna's return to the ship. He'd never really asked much of her, and as a friend, he hoped that she would be willing to help. He thought she would understand, at least.

But it was a long-shot and he didn't want to raise Brenna's hopes, so he brushed his fingertips to her cheek instead, thinking how soft she was, how she was unlike anything he'd ever touched. “So we have a night, at least. And you're pretty much packed, except for some pictures and other odds and ends.”

“Keep the pictures,” she said, still holding his eyes with hers. “If you want them, that is. I won't need them back at home.”

He nodded, then leaned down to kiss her. It was easy to get lost in the action but he knew that it was only a temporary relief; even so, he didn't stop until much later when they were both able to find a few hours of sleep in each other's arms.

*****​

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A/N: Lots of stuff going on!​

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Yes, Tucker is playing the jerk-card pretty heavily, but he does have his reasons. He's a desperate man, and desperate men can only be pushed so far before they begin to fracture. It was tricky to balance the threat he provided with Brenna's decision.​

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Next time: It's Rex's turn to make a choice.​

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Thanks for reading! ​

 

Nice and pivotal realization Rex had about desires and priorities and past crushes That was a consequence I did not anticipate. That if Bren left, she'd have to basically reapply to get back where she needs and/or wants to be. The love is there, and it's real and stunning. But circumstances are conspiring to push them apart.

 

@Nyota's Heart:

Yep. The course of true love never did run smooth.​

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Thanks so much for the comment! ​

*****​

Chapter Thirty-Two​

The next morning Rex accompanied her to the hangar; he knew that they probably made an odd sight, as Bren was dressed in her normal civilian garb while he was wearing his armor, but he was long past caring about anything like that. Aside from the deck officer, there were a few clones about – mostly Spaartis, but he nodded to one of the boys from Torrent – but otherwise, the bay was quiet. As they waited for her transport to arrive, she handed him one of the comlinks she'd tweaked, which he stowed in his belt for safekeeping.

“You heard from your brother, right?” he asked as he did so.

She nodded. “He rushed home after he got my message, but neither he nor Edme have seen Tucker; I think he's keeping a low profile until I get there. Caith also said that he notified the Alderaani security force, but they haven't been able to locate Tucker, either.”

Rex tried to keep his tone even, but he thought that he was failing because a scowl crossed his face as he spoke again. “Why don't you don't want to call the GAR authorities?”

“Because if they find Tucker, they'll send him to Kamino,” she replied with a shake of her head. “And despite everything else...Rex, I can't do that to him. He's foolish, he's selfish, but he doesn't deserve to be...reconditioned.”

As she said the word she gave a shiver, so Rex put his arm around her shoulders, exhaling deeply and trying to dispel his sorrow. It didn't work. A moment later she looked at him again. “I was also thinking...he won't stop, Rex. If I don't deal with him now, there's no telling what he'll do next. Even though I don't really think he'll do anything more drastic right now, that may not be the case in the future if I brush him off again.”

I'll bet I could change that di'kut's attitude if I got a hold of him, Rex thought with a tightening of his jaw, but he kept the angry words to himself and dropped his hand to hers, lacing their fingers together. So he could feel the warmth of her skin, he'd left off his gloves for now, thinking he'd replace them later. After. For a few minutes they stood in silence, hands joined, then she glanced his way with trepidation in her eyes. He watched as her lips parted but no sound came out. “Bren, what is it?”

She swallowed, but kept her gaze on him. “If you wanted to, you could...come with me.” At his look of surprise she took a breath and continued. “I know that you have duties here, a responsibility to your men, and a life with the GAR, but I wanted to make sure you know that – if you chose – you could come with me to Alderaan. I think that Iri would love you,” she added with a faint smile, her eyes flickering to his bucket that was clipped to his belt. “She loves the color blue.”

His mouth opened in preparation for the protests that were forthcoming. She was right; his life was here. Had always been and would always be.

However...

Casting his mind back to the pic of Alderaan, Rex considered what life would be like if he chose to leave; he could spend every day with the woman he loved and her daughter, the daughter of a clone, the child who shared his own genetic structure, so much so that he thought that he could – perhaps, one day – consider her to be his own. He could wake up beside Bren every morning and go to sleep beside her each night. He wouldn't have to kill for a living, wouldn't have to spend what time he'd been allotted fighting an increasingly desperate war that – if he was brutally honest – made less and less sense to him each day.

Life. Liberty. Happiness.

It would be a sacrifice, no doubt, but the idea was less troubling than it had once been. Much of his admittedly youthful idealism had faded in recent months, and he found the thought of desertion did not make him as uneasy as it once had. It was his life, after all. His choice.

There was much pain surrounding the idea of leaving his brothers and Ahsoka, but he thought that pain was a part of life; certainly it was a part of love. Caring for someone or something so much was bound to hurt, sometimes. That much he'd learned.

The question, he supposed, seemed to be was it a pain he could live with?

Of course there were penalties for desertion but there were also ways around them. Cut had found one, after all, which made Rex think that perhaps one clone in a million wouldn't be missed. Granted, Cut had been a raw trooper at the time of his desertion, while Rex was a widely-recognized, veteran officer; his absence would be noted and investigated, but Rex had no illusions that he was irreplaceable. Appo's recent rise in the command structure had indicated as much, and the Spaarti clones had shown him how the Republic viewed soldiers who were willing to lay down their lives for a greater good. Expendable, all of them.

But here was a woman who loved him, who was willing to take on his demons as well as her own, who made him happy and for whom he could return the favor. She was real, she was warm, and she was looking at him with something that was like hope, matched as it was by uncertainty of his answer.

What he shared with Brenna was worth fighting for, to his last breath.

Something inside his heart began to hitch, because he was racing to a conclusion that he had not expected and it was frightening in many ways. He cast a brief glance around the hangar, considering. He could accompany her, say it was on orders. It was entirely conceivable that he could just walk away with no one being the wiser for several hours, long enough to give them time to figure something out.

It wouldn't last long and it wouldn't be easy, but it would be possible.

A soft noise to his right drew his attention, and he glanced over to see one of his men – Tup, actually – stepping into the hangar for his duty rotation. Glancing at Rex and Brenna, Tup gave a sharp salute, then turned to greet the previous deck officer for whom he'd be taking over, which was when Rex's nebulous idea dissipated.

Perhaps he did have a choice, but he also had a duty. To his men, to his brothers, and Rex knew at once that he could walk away from the Republic, from the GAR, from the Wars themselves...but he could not walk away from his brothers.

Vode an; it echoed with each beat of his heart, as much a part of him as his blood, as his breath and bones.

When Rex looked back at Brenna, he saw at once that his hesitation had been answer enough. The faint hope that she'd allowed to show had fled, and she was looking at him with a sorrow that she was trying to hide behind a soft smile.

“It's okay,” she said as the whine of a transport sounded, signifying the vessel's approach. “I didn't think that you would leave your brothers. I just wanted you to know that you're welcome with me and Iri.”

Despite the steady cadence of her words, her voice was trembling. He knew there was nothing he could do that would truly set either of them at ease, so he embraced her and tried to ignore the increasingly loud buzzing from the transport that was landing beyond them; he could feel the sound of the engines in the cavity of his chest, as if he were hollow.

When they parted, he took both of her hands in his and held her gaze. “Bren, I'm sorry. As much as I want to go with you...I can't walk away from my brothers.”

She nodded, but he could feel her hands trembling. “I understand that, Rex.”

He knew she did, which was why it was almost impossible to believe that she was leaving, that they had found each other only to be separated by circumstance; but as surely as he had his reasons for staying with his brothers, she had reasons for returning to her child. Even so...in the back of his mind he wondered if doing the right thing was supposed to hurt this much.

“I love you,” he added, gripping her hands in his and wishing that there were two of him, not caring that it was an ironic thought for a cloned man. “I know it doesn't make things any easier, but I love you, Brenna.”

“I love you too, Rex,” she replied, blinking rapidly as the wind from the engines picked up pieces of her hair and lifted them around their faces. “I'll call you when I get home so you know I made it alright.”

They kissed again, for how long he didn't know exactly. They kissed until beyond them – when the transport team had unloaded their supplies and was preparing to leave – he could hear that the members of the crew were calling to one another. It was time to go.

When they parted, Rex wanted to give her some promise, some reassurance that he would see her again, but he felt that it would be false, because he had no way of knowing what was to come. They'd gambled and lost. It should have been expected, but it still hurt. So he offered her a half-smile and another kiss, softer than before. “Be safe, Bren.”

“You too.”

Still joined, their fingers squeezed for one more moment as he watched her take a deep breath before she broke the link of their hands and turned to leave. He watched one of the clones on the transport take her bags and help her aboard. He watched her reach for one of the dangling handles, the kind that he'd gripped a thousand times. He watched her face him and thought that he could see something wet streaking her face, but it was difficult to say, because she was already far away and the blast doors were closing.

They sealed with a thud. Moments later, the transport shuddered into the air then slipped out of the hangar easily, as if nothing in the galaxy was holding it back. Within a few seconds it disappeared from his sight, and she was well and truly gone.

Rex stood for a moment, uncertain of what he was supposed to do, now. Suddenly, he felt a buzzing in his belt; reaching down, he withdrew the comlink that she'd given him and was able to smile at the message she'd sent:

Get something to eat. You look hungry. Then go hang up those pictures in your office. Then find Fives...no one better for a distraction.

Taking a breath, he tapped out a reply: I normally don't take orders from civilians, but I'll make an exception this one time.

Glad to hear it, was her reply, followed by: Don't worry, we'll figure something out. I love you, Rex.

How? he wanted to ask, but he knew there was no answer. All he could do was reply with: I love you, too.

For now, it would have to be enough.

*​

Rex made it as far as the mess, but the instant he reached the door he realized that he wasn't hungry. Nor did he feel like hanging up any pictures in his office, let alone finding Fives; instead, he went to the observation room.

Sometime after Brenna's transport had left, the Resolute had slipped back into hyperspace, and the entire area was awash in a blue glow. For a moment he stood beside the window and gazed with unseeing eyes at the ribboning stars, then he crossed the room and took a seat on the surface of one of the tables. There were, of course, a thousand things that he had to do, things that he'd postponed since yesterday so that he could be with Brenna, but he couldn't bring himself to do more than rest his elbows on his knees and picture her face in his mind's eye, wondering again and again if he'd made the wrong choice.

After some time – he wasn't quite sure how long – the door to the observation room slid open with a hiss; glancing over, he watched Fives enter the room, eyes fixed on him and steps cautious, as if the ARC was uncertain how his presence would be met. Rex nodded – not quite an invitation, but not a signal to stay away – so his brother crossed the room and took a seat beside him, armored legs dangling over the edge of the table.

For a little while, neither man said anything, and for that Rex was thankful because he didn't feel like any of Fives' levity right now.

But of course, such a thing couldn't last. An indrawn breath, a throat clear; as he spoke, Fives shot him a careful look. “You okay, vod?”

Words were not easy to come by right now, so Rex only shrugged.

Nodding, Fives studied his own gloves for a moment, his forehead creasing as if he were confused or upset over something; after a little bit the ARC let out a heavy sigh, and shook his head. “I'm sorry, Rex.”

Now it was the captain's turn to be confused. He glanced at Fives, brows furrowed. “Why?”

“Because I pushed you towards her,” the ARC replied with a frown. “I wanted you to relax, have a bit of fun with a pretty girl, that's all. I wanted you to be happy for a little bit. I never meant for things to get so...”

His gloved hand lifted and made an indeterminate motion. “Anyway, I should have just kept my nose out of your business, like Echo would have told me to do. So, I'm sorry.”

As Fives sighed again, Rex glanced toward him, noting the dejected set of the other man's shoulders and the shadows under his eyes. It took him a moment to collect his words, but he managed. “Fives...I don't regret anything that happened with Bren,” he said, meeting his brother's startled gaze. “Yes...right now it feels pretty terrible, but...”

He frowned, then shook his head. There was no use holding anything back; it didn't matter. “But I love her and she feels the same about me, and this moment right now is pretty insignificant next to all of that.”

“But what are you going to do?” Fives pressed, his hands balling into fists. “What if you never see each other again?”

“I don't know,” Rex replied, looking back at the window. There was silence for a moment before he spoke again. “She asked me to go with her to Alderaan.”

“Of course she did,” Fives said with a snort, some of his bravado having apparently returned with Rex's reassurance that he didn't hold the ARC at fault. “But you didn't go. I'm not surprised.”

As Rex opened his mouth to reply, his brother shook his head. “It's not a slight, Rex. For all of your faults, you're not a deserter. I don't think it's in you to leave the army.”

“All of my faults?” Rex replied with a raised brow. “And what might those be?”

Fives grinned at him, though after a moment he shrugged again. “I don't know if it's in any of us to just walk away, and I'm okay with that. But if anyone had a reason to leave...well, it's you.”

Rex turned his eyes back to the shredding stars. “My reason is on her way to Alderaan as we speak. Without me.”

“That's the other thing I was wondering about,” Fives said after a moment. When Rex glanced back his way, the ARC shifted in his seat in the manner of someone who was very uncomfortable. “She's going back to see the father of her kid. You aren't...concerned?”

“What, that she'll start up with that di'kut again?” Rex asked. At Fives' chagrined look, the captain straightened in his seat. “She doesn't...that is...I'm not worried about her like that. Anyway, you didn't see how she talked to him when he came to the Resolute.”

“Was she angry?”

Rex lifted his brow. “That's one way of putting it.” Fives looked confused, so he shook his head again. “It doesn't matter. What matters is I'm not concerned about that, vod. Not with her.”

“You're the boss,” Fives replied with a shrug. They sat in silence for a minute or so before the ARC shot Rex another careful look. “The others know she's gone.”

“Some mouthy ARC trooper told them, I take it?”

“That's really not important,” Fives said, waving away the words. “Anyway, some of us were thinking of having a round or two of sabacc before evening training sims...interested in joining us? So far, Jesse, Coric and Kix are in. And me. We could use a fifth player, though. And you know, it's always good luck to have five of anything...”

The pain he felt from Brenna's absence would probably not fade anytime soon, but Rex really had no way of knowing. He also had no way of knowing if his feelings of regret would dissipate, but thought that maybe they would, with time.

What he did know was that his reasons for staying – one of them, anyway – was sitting beside him with a hopeful expression that he was trying hard to hide; Fives was always ridiculously easy to read, like a holo-novel. Echo had been the more reticent one of the two of them, after all. Fives laid it all out there, for the world to see.


The knowledge that his men – his brothers – were waiting for him, probably worried, was touching, and Rex thought that it might be good for him to be in their company for a while. So he studied his brother for a moment more, then nodded slowly. “I think I will. Thanks, vod.”

*****​

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A/N: Happy sigh. That last scenes with Rex & Fives is one of my favorites. ​

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One of the songs that "fits" for this story - this chapter, in particular - is "Save Me," by Goyte. As Rex says, it's awful that he and Bren have been parted, but there was a lot of good stuff, too, which - to me - that song emphasizes. Yes, I know this is a horribly angsty chapter, but my hope is that it's clear that Rex is able to endure being parted from the women he loves because he's a bit stronger now than he was before they met.



I'm very curious to hear if you thought that Rex was going to go with Bren to Alderaan, and if you wanted him to or not. I feel like his choice to remain was keeping within his character, but I didn't want it to be an easy choice for him to make, so I'm anxious to hear your perspective on the matter.

As always, thank you for reading!

Next time: on Alderaan.

 

I enjoyed immensely the brotherly feel of the final scene. I think it was just! what Rex needed, and when. I applaud his loyalty & think it totally in-character. I'm glad Bren also understands it is a loyalty to those he cares for and feels an obligation towards in lieu of some abstract ideal That being said, life, liberty, and happiness are not unalienable rights for nothing I did hope very strongly he left with Brenna. I hope the window of opportunity opens up for them again.

 

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@Nyota's Heart: Yay! Glad to hear you thought Rex acted in character. Always high praise. ​

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Sigh. As far as "unalienable rights" go, I think Rex - perhaps most clones - have yet to accept that they are "allowed" those rights. ​

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Thanks so much for the comment! ​

*****​

Chapter Thirty-Three​

Despite the feeling of being torn in two, Brenna found that she was happy to be home again.

As the little shuttle that she'd boarded about a day and a half ago began to descend onto the landing platform, she peered out of the window beside her seat, hoping for a glimpse of Iri and Caith. After she'd informed her brother of her ETA, he'd promised to bring her daughter along to greet her at the hangar; for the last few hours all that she'd been able to focus on was seeing Iri again, though she had managed to send a brief message to Rex that she'd arrived safely.

There were only a few locals standing in the cordoned-off section of the platform; Belleau-a-Lir was not a large city, certainly not compared to the capitol of Aldera, and most of the tourists that would frequent the area during this time of the year had not yet arrived. Once Brenna disembarked with her bags and made her way to the waiting area, it was easy to spot the tell-tale copper hair of her sister-in-law, Caith's wife, Edme.

However, Brenna hardly spared the taller woman a glance, because in her arms...

“Iri!”

There was no word that could properly express the joy and utter relief that Brenna felt once her daughter was in her embrace. Everything fell away: Rex, Tucker, the War...for a few moments her entire being was centered on the warm body clutched to hers, and the way that the toddler's chubby arms looped around her neck as she exclaimed, “Mama!”

Belatedly, Brenna realized that she, not her baby, was crying, but she didn't care in the slightest; all she wanted to think about was the way her daughter smelled like finger-paint and soap, and the reassuring weight of the little body that she was pressing close to her own. As she ran her hands across Iri's form, ensuring over and over that her child was whole and healthy, Irini spoke again. “Iri miss Mama.”

“I missed you, too, honey,” Brenna replied with a breathless laugh, despite the fact that tears were still streaming down her cheeks. “You have no idea.”

After a few moments she was able to collect herself enough to look at her sister-in-law, who was watching the two of them with a smile. “Thank you...I just...I can't ever thank you enough for looking after her...”

Edme shook her head. She was tall, stately and very slender, with reddish hair that brushed her collarbone with the movement; Brenna had always thought that she looked a little bit like royalty, especially with the graceful curve of her neck. There was a warmth to Edme that was quite welcoming, but she also had a way of making Brenna feel very uncouth, as her movements were always regal.

“We love her too, you know,” the other woman replied, touching Brenna's shoulder. “And I'm glad that Caith and I were in a position to help. Welcome home, Bren.”

Nodding, Brenna cast a glance around; the few people that had arrived with her had already met their parties and were moving towards the exit. The entrance where the shuttle had flown in was open to the sky, revealing a stretch of perfect blue, while the landing platform itself was covered with permacrete archways. “Where's Caith? Is he with the speeder?”

At this, Edme's face darkened, and Brenna felt a slip of fear as her sister-in-law replied. “He's at the house right now. I'll explain on the way...do you have any other bags?”

Brenna shook her head and glanced down at the bags she must have dropped once she'd taken her daughter in her arms. After some juggling, she had her knapsack over her shoulder while Edme hefted her suitcase, and they made their way to the speeder-lot outside. Several minutes later, she, Edme and Iri were in a speeder, making their way through the township.

Belleau-a-Lir was picturesque. Nestled at the center of Lir Lakir, a lake in the foothills of a nearby mountain range, the main body of the city was often the first place where many tourists to this area stopped. As such, it this section of the town was rather quaint and old-fashioned in appearance, though Brenna figured that her perceptions were probably skewed after living on utilitarian warships for the past two years.

Most of the buildings were constructed of smooth, dove-gray stone, mined from the mountains. It was mid-spring, and the air still held a trace of coolness; there was color all around in the form of flowers placed in large pots outside of shops and tapcafs, and beyond the edges of the city she could see the rippling waters of Lir Lakir winking in the sunlight. As Edme guided the speeder through the streets, the stream of buildings that they passed by grew less in number as they made their way towards the edges of the city proper.

“We haven't seen Tucker at all, but Caith refused to leave the house, just in case,” Edme was saying as Brenna checked again that Iri's speeder-seat was secure; she'd forgone sitting beside her sister-in-law to remain at her daughter's side in the backseat of the vehicle. “Tavi's staying with a friend from school for a few days as well. Caith contacted the Alderaani Security Force, but they were at a loss; they seem to think this is GAR jurisdiction. But since you didn't want us to notify the army...”

Edme's words trailed off and she gave Brenna a speculative look while the speeder was paused at an intersection. Rather than reply right away, Brenna frowned and stroked Iri's baby-curls for a moment as she thought, then glanced up at her sister-in-law. “If they find Tucker, they'll send him back to Kamino,” she said in a quiet voice. “It's...the end of the line for a clone,” she added, not wanting to say the words 'death sentence' in front of her impressionable daughter.

Edme frowned, but nodded, and her hands tightened on the controls of the speeder. “He hasn't tried anything yet, so I suppose you're right about him not being a threat, but I still don't like it.”

“Me either,” Brenna replied. “But he's...” She paused, uncertain of what to say, as she'd never explained him to Iri before, and wasn't sure if now was the right time.

Safely buckled in her seat, Iri had been quiet for the most part, but now she tilted her face up to her mother. “Mama?”

“Yes, honey?”

“What's Tucker?”

At the words, the women exchanged glances, but Brenna rubbed her daughter's back and pushed back a few errant strands of hair from Iri's face. It was a little awkward with the speeder-seat, but she couldn't help but at least keep a hand on her baby after being apart from Iri for so long. “Who, Iri. Tucker is a person. He's a...friend of mine, from a long time ago.”

Golden-brown eyes studied her, and for one moment Brenna swore she could see the same thoughtfulness in her daughter's face as she'd witnessed in Rex's. Finally, Iri nodded and leaned back in her seat as if she was going to sleep, pressing the back of her head against Brenna's hand and letting out a deep sigh of contentment that made her mother's throat tighten.

Despite her former concern, Edme smiled. “I'm sure she's exhausted. Ever since we told her you were coming back, she's been a little bundle of energy.”

Brenna nodded absently as she skimmed her other hand across Iri's cheeks and neck, savoring the feel of her baby's pulse; as she leaned over the edge of the speeder-seat to rest her cheek against the top of Iri's blonde head, she was nothing but grateful, because in spite of everything else that surrounded this moment there was no greater joy than having her daughter in her arms again.

*​

Caith and Edme's lived on the farthest outskirts of Belleau-a-Lir; both Brenna and her brother had grown up in the shadow of a remote mountain, and it had not escaped her notice that Caith chose to live within several klicks of their mother's home. Their house was at the end of a winding dirt driveway, and the vehicle's progress was marked by clouds of kicked-up dust from the repulsors as Edme guided the speeder past an assortment of humble houses; once they reached a modest, blue structure, tucked within a stand of curving hydenock trees, Edme slowed the vehicle to a stop beneath a durasteel awning.

Her brother's house had always been beautiful to Brenna, even though she knew that it was considered quite ordinary by most standards. Resting towards the rear of about five acres of land, the house was two-stories, painted a soft blue that was a breath away from gray, and was outfitted with a stone chimney – a necessity during the winter, despite the heating unit – as well as a small garden that her brother had planted in the backyard. There was a sandbox and several bright-colored toys scattered in the yard, and the entire place felt like home.

With hardly a word, the women disembarked; as they approached the house, Caith appeared on the front porch, standing at the top of the steps that led down to the yard. He looked nervous. Taller than Brenna, as tall as Edme, her brother had Brenna's coloring and facial structure, except he'd taken to growing out his beard in recent years, such that often she thought that he looked similar to their late father.

“Unc' Caith!” Iri exclaimed in delight, twisting in Brenna's arms to wave at her uncle. “Mama home!”

Caith smiled at the little girl, but his eyes were wary and fixed on Brenna. They met at the foot of the stairs and her brother's crushing embrace was strong enough to push the air from her lungs. When they parted, he kissed Edme on the cheek and took Brenna's bags from each of the women, then thumbed towards the house. “He's here.”

Brenna's stomach dropped to her knees and her hands tightened reflexively around Iri. “Right now? Inside?”

“Showed up just after we got your comm saying you were arriving.” Caith's voice was dark, and he studied Brenna carefully. “I can have the ASF here in a few minutes, Bren. Just say the word.”

She took a deep breath and shook her head. “Let me talk to him, first. But thank you.”

Perhaps she should have set Iri in her brother's arms, or Edme's, but Brenna couldn't release her daughter just yet. So, with Caith and Edme at her heels, she headed up the wooden steps of their home, pulled open the screen door and stepped inside.

The interior of the house was quiet and cool; the front door opened into the living area, which contained a sofa, a rocking chair and a wide assortment of toys in addition to a vid-player and viewer. Along the walls were pictures of the family, of Brenna and Iri, as well as various landscapes of Alderaan, and aside from the scattered toys the entire room was tidy and comfortable. It was a place where Brenna had spent much time once she'd left her mother's house in the shadow of the mountain; it was a place she thought of as home.

So it was a wholly incongruous sight to see Tucker, still clad in his gray armor with his helmet tucked under his arm, standing in the midst of Tavi and Iri's toys with his eyes fixed on the door where Brenna had just appeared.

Seeing him here, like this, with her daughter – their daughter, despite her harsh words on the Resolute – was a punch in the gut. For a long moment she stood and looked at him, then Iri broke the silence.

“Mama...him Tucker?”

At first Tucker blinked in surprise, then his eyes widened and a smile slipped across his face; despite everything, Brenna couldn't help but smile down at Iri as she replied. “Yes, sweetheart. That's Tucker.”

With the sound of his name, Tucker inhaled and then looked between Brenna and Iri. “May I...say hello to her?”

Brenna nodded. After another pause Tucker stepped forward, coming to a halt about a meter away from the two of them and bent his torso so that he was eye-level with Irini, who had twisted in Brenna's arms to regard him. “Hello, Irini,” he said in a quiet voice. “It's very nice to meet you.”

Iri studied him for a beat, then ducked her face into Brenna's hair, as if suddenly shy. A worried look flickered across the commando's face and he glanced at Brenna, who rubbed Iri's back in a comforting manner. “She's fine. You're just...a lot to take in with the armor and everything...”

“Oh.” He cast a glance down his front. “I don't have my fatigues with me. Would they be better? I can probably find some...”

“Don't worry about it,” she replied, shifting Iri in her arms as she studied him. Even in the soft lights of her brother's home he looked awful; his eyes were shadowed and he seemed more gaunt than the last time she'd seen him, as if food had been hard to come by, or not appetizing. “I'm here, Tucker,” she said after a moment, working to keep her voice calm. “Isn't that what you wanted? Isn't that why you called me away from the Resolute?”

The commando had the decency to look contrite, though in the next moment he shot a glance behind her, where Caith and Edme were still waiting. “Sir, ma'am...if you could give us a minute...?”

“Bren?” Caith's voice was querying.

She glanced back at her brother and sister-in-law, then kissed Iri's forehead. “I think it's time for a nap, honey. Why don't you go with Uncle Caith and Aunt Edme?”

Iri pulled back and shook her head even as a fierce yawn blurred her words. “No leave, Mama. Please?”

With that, she flung her arms around Brenna's neck and hugged as tightly as she was able. In the corner of her eye, Brenna saw that Tucker was fighting a smile, but she ignored him for the moment; she looked at Caith again. “Would you...?”

Nodding, her brother reached for his niece; there was a faint, mumbled protest from the little girl, whose eyes were heavy-lidded. As Caith and Edme prepared to take Irini to her room, Brenna kissed her daughter's cheek, adding a whispered promise that she would be there when Iri awoke. Once they were alone, she looked at Tucker again. “Well?”

He'd been watching Iri and the others leave the room; at Brenna's word he looked back at her. “What did you tell her about me?”

“What am I supposed to say to her about you?” Brenna replied, her voice wavering a little. Now that Iri was gone and the haze of delight from their reunion was fading, she felt the beginnings of old anger course through her. “I honestly have no idea.”

“I...I don't know, either,” he admitted, lowering his eyes. “But I thought maybe you did.”

“It hasn't really come up, from what I understand,” she said after a minute. “Having one parent absent all the time is enough for her to think about, I guess.”

At her words Tucker gave a wince, but nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”

There was another pause, during which he shifted awkwardly and she crossed her arms before her chest. Finally he looked at her again. “Bren, I've thought a lot about what you said, back on the Resolute. About how you think that I can't make everything right...but you're wrong. I know you're wrong...it will be hard, I know, and I know that you're still angry – with good reason – but it could work if we both just tried, you know? If we both want it enough, we can all be a family. A real family.”

Her mouth opened but he continued, stepping closer to her with a look of desperation in his eyes. “I meant what I said, Bren: I love you, and I came here to fight for you and for what we could have. If you'd only let me back in, just for a little bit, I'll show you that we can start over – Iri, you, me – and that we can all be together. Doesn't that sound at least a little appealing to you?”

“Tucker...”

“Bren, I came here to ask you to marry me.”

Shock enveloped her, cold and swift, and there was a ringing in her ears even as they felt thick and heavy, like she was about to faint. “What?”

Tucker had somehow taken her hands in his, and was giving her an intense, pleading look. “Marry me, Brenna Damaris.”

*****​

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A/N: No Rex in this chapter, sadly. I think it's the first, (and only?) Rex-less chapter of the whole fic, so please bear with me. We'll find out what he's been up to in the next chapter, among other things.

For the purpose of this fic, the section of Alderaan where Brenna's family lives, (outside of Belleau-a-Lir), is very "rural," not like the capitol city of Aldera, which is - as far as I know - the height of refinement and civilization. The Damaris' are "country-folk," as we'd say down here in the South. (Y'all got that? )

Thank you for reading!


Next time: Bren's answer.

 

Wonderful reunion - just wonderful! The scene with Tucker -- wow! Knocked me for a loopt too.

 

@Nyota's Heart: Yay! So glad you enjoyed! Tucker has a special place in my heart, I must admit. Thanks so much for the comment!​

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In other news, we've got ten chapters left, then the sequel will commence. ​

*****​

Chapter Thirty-Four​

Brenna's throat was dry and her heart was racing, but it wasn't with happiness, or joy; nor was it terror, or even the familiar anger, though she thought that might change, very soon.

Right now, she had no way to quantify how she felt as she looked at up at Tucker, so she shook her head slowly and grasped for simple speech even as he gripped her hands in his.

At the movement of her head, Tucker's face fell a tiny bit, but he recovered quickly. “I know that you hate me right now,” he said, squeezing her hands. “But we had something once, something really wonderful; don't you remember? We had a lot of good times, Bren. A lot of them.”

Still clasping her own, his hands tightened again, then his thumbs began to rub small circles over her wrists while his honey-brown eyes remained fixed on her face. She did; she remembered. There had been passion, lots of it, and many heated nights spent in his arms, memorizing the planes of his body as he learned hers. Tucker had not known anything about the physical aspects of love when they'd met, she'd taught him what she knew, and they'd discovered quite a bit more together.

In return, he'd taught her as well: a bit of Mando'a, some of the more unique traits that were found in individual clones, and the fact that each of his brothers – despite sharing the same face – was different in his own way. In a very real sense, it had been because of Tucker that she'd been able to not only fall in love with Rex, but understand the deep bonds of brotherhood that connected the clones, which she knew had been the main thing that kept Rex from following her to Alderaan.

Brenna knew that she should have been furious with Tucker, because he'd pulled her away from the man she loved, away from her job, completely upturned her life on some wild, misplaced hope that he could still fix what he'd broken. He was careless, irresponsible, inconsiderate...

But it was not within her heart to keep being angry with him; she was not made for that kind of fighting, not with the father of her child, not with – she thought – anyone. Instead, she looked down at their joined hands, then back up at his eyes. “I remember all of that, Tucker,” she said, gently extracting her hands from his and setting them back at her sides. “And it doesn't change anything for me.”

“But...” He blinked and shook his head, then exhaled as he seemed to mentally regroup. “Okay. The past is gone. Then we should move forward. Start over.”

She was quiet for a moment, then she slipped past him and made her way to the kitchen. After a pause, Tucker followed.

As Brenna pulled out a few mugs and began to prepare a pot of white-leaf tea, she told him to sit at the kitchen table, the place where he'd sent her the first transmission; he did so without a word, his eyes fixed on her in that intense manner that only a clone was capable of, his knees bouncing with agitation beneath the table even though his hands were folded and still before him. After a few minutes, he set his helmet on the table's edge and removed his gloves, all while still watching her movements.

Once the tea was ready, she handed him a mug and an assortment of sugar, then slid into the wooden chair across from him. The light in here was brighter than that in the living room; through the beams that streaked in from the window over the sink she could see again how terrible he looked: drawn, shaded and grim, he was a far cry from the jovial young man she'd met nearly three years ago. There were flecks of gray in his hair, and she noted a few lines around his eyes, evidence of the fact that the clones aged so fast.

As they waited for the tea to cool enough to drink, she took a deep breath. “Why are you doing all of this now?”

Tucker seemed to consider the steam rising from his mug for a moment, and when he spoke he didn't look at her. “My squad was on Boz Pity...our mission was supposed to be a simple extraction, an in-and-out deal. But...everything went wrong. Everything. Our target – some Seppie leader – escaped, and my brothers...”

He swallowed and his bouncing knees stilled; he wrapped his hands around the mug and ducked his head. “It was a thermal det, aimed right at our ship. I was taking a leak outside, so I wasn't aboard. There was nothing I could do, Bren,” he added, shifting his eyes her way, which was when she saw that his own were bright. “Just like that...they were gone and I was alone. I had nothing left...except you and Iri.

“I know that I never responded to your messages,” he added after a pause. “But I thought about the two of you every day. I had your approximate due-date marked on a calendar and I researched Human pregnancies to learn what you were dealing with. And through it all...even though I couldn't bring myself to call you after I left...when I fought, I fought for you. For both of you.”

Brenna had gone very still at his words. “Tucker...”

Blinking hard, the commando shook his head. “You kept me going, Bren, because I knew that you were out there, somewhere, with my daughter, and I thought that if I was fighting to keep the two of you safe...that would be enough. I had nothing else to give you, anyway, besides a half-life and perfect aim.”

“That's why you never called?”

He nodded, shame crossing his face. “That's why I never called.”

She was silent for a few minutes, thinking. His words had touched her more than she wanted to admit; however, despite the fact that she wasn't as angry with him as she'd been before his admission, deep down she wasn't sure if she could bring herself to forgive him just yet. “I don't care about any of that 'half-life' stuff, Tucker. You should have called me.”

“I know.” He frowned and cast her a careful look. “And I know it was a di'kut move to call you out here like this; I know you were worried about what I'd do, but there was only so much I could say over the comm. I had to get you alone, away from...” There was a pause and his shoulders sank just a bit. “I wanted to see you somewhere that was...comfortable for you. Somewhere that we could just talk.”

There was more, she could see it in his eyes. She thought she knew, but she asked him, anyway. “And?”

Tucker sighed. “I wanted to see her. Bren, you have no idea how much.”

“I think I do.”

“Fair enough,” he replied with a nod and the very faintest of smiles. There was a beat before he shot her a tentative smile. “She's so beautiful, Brenna. She's perfect...I had no idea how perfect she was.”

Brenna was tired from her journey and from the past few days, so she only sipped her tea and tried to push back the emotion that was burning behind her eyes. Tucker waited a moment more, then tentatively reached his hand out to cover her own; in response, she flinched and pulled back, watching as understanding finally seemed to dawn on him and his brows furrowed.

They were silent for another few moments, then he spoke in an even voice that was meant to conceal the fact that he'd once had hope, and it pained her that she could read him so well. “There's no chance for us, is there?”

Brenna shook her head.

Nodding, Tucker wrapped both of his hands around the mug again and she could see that his fingers were trembling. His eyes – his expressive, almost-golden eyes – were filled with sorrow, but he held still, otherwise. After a moment he looked at her. “It's going to be impossible for me to just think of you as someone that I used to care about. As for Iri...”

“You can visit her whenever you like,” Brenna broke in. “As long as you let me know, first. Tucker...you should still be in her life. Just because I don't want to marry you doesn't mean you can't see your daughter ever again.”

“But it does,” he replied with a shake of his head. “Brenna...I can't see her once in a while, if you won't have me. It has to be all or nothing.”

Of course. Tucker was still Tucker; that had not changed, despite his words and his wish that it was otherwise. Anger returned to her, but she managed to keep it in check. “You can't raise a child on absolutes. That's not how a family works. Or how love works, by the way.”

“Then I guess I still have a lot to learn,” he replied in a bitter voice. Neither one said anything for a moment; she watched the light shifting across the kitchen table as clouds slipped across the distant sun. The house was unnaturally quiet and she wondered if Caith and Edme were listening, somehow. Even if they weren't, it was good to know that she wasn't alone.

And somewhere out there was Rex. Her eyes closed briefly, because she knew he'd be worried.

“It's not...” Tucker paused, then frowned to himself as he searched for the words. Finally he scowled. “It's not because of him, right? He's not here with you, so I thought that maybe it was over...”

“I meant what I said before, Tucker,” she replied, suppressing her ire at his assumption. “Rex has nothing to do with you and me. I don't want to marry you because I don't love you.”

The commando looked pained, but he nodded slowly. Finally, he stood up, pushed his chair out behind him with a loud scrape and began to collect his helmet and gloves. She rose as well, followed him to the front door; they moved onto the porch and down the steps, towards the sunshine that blanketed the yard.

At the base of the stairs, Tucker paused to scan the horizon before looking back at her. “No matter what, I'll never stop loving you, Bren,” he said quietly. “If you ever need anything, anything at all...call me, and I'll be there. In a heartbeat.”

It wasn't enough, not for Iri, but it would have to do. She nodded and he looked a little bit satisfied; as he moved to step away, she spoke. “What are you going to do, now?”

Tucker glanced back at her. He'd stopped in a patch of sunlight and his hand lifted to shade his eyes. “A little while ago, I made some friends from Mandalore,” he said after a moment. “They have a...bastion, of a sort, for men like me. Clones who can't fight any more.”

“So you're going to desert?”

He shrugged and his tone was indifferent. “It's looking that way.”

There was another beat of silence; beyond him, she could see endless blue sky, sprinkled with a few sweeping, high level clouds. Gray mountains stood sentinel in the distance, solid and unmoving. When Tucker spoke again, his voice was almost lost in a sudden breeze that rifled through the hydenock trees.

“I'm really sorry, Brenna.”

Something had caught in her throat; belatedly she realized that her face was wet, and that her arms were wrapping around one another, as if her body was trying to hold itself together. “Me too, Tucker.”

A final nod from him, then he slipped his helmet over his head and moved off, towards a thicket of woods that curved across Caith's land. Moments later, he was gone.

Again.

*​

The previous day, aboard the Resolute...

After Brenna had left, the sabacc game with Fives, Kix, Jesse and Coric had merged seamlessly into the evening training sims; by all rights, Rex should have been exhausted after the simulations, but after he'd ordered his men to hit the showers, he'd found that he was still filled with a nervous, restless energy.

So he'd showered and gone to his office, where he'd spent the better part of the night going over all of the work he'd been neglecting and trying to shut off his brain. At this he failed, at least until he fell asleep at his desk, head resting on his folded elbow.

The next day passed in much the same manner, minus the sabacc, so it was that Rex found himself at his desk again late the next afternoon, when he heard from Brenna. It was a quick message, stating that she'd arrived on Alderaan safely, and that she would contact him later. There was not nearly enough information to ease his mind, but it would have to suffice. He wanted to reply, but was reluctant to disturb her reunion with her daughter, so he kept his urge to himself and tried to be patient.

It was harder than he thought it should have been.

Rex remained at his desk, skipping the evening meal; naturally, Kix had comm'd a bit ago, urging him to eat, but Rex really just wanted to be left alone, if only for a little while. He didn't think it was a lot to ask, and Kix actually obliged him, though there was a mild threat of force-feeding the captain ration cubes if he kept the isolation up for too long.

Anyway, as a result of his self-imposed solitude, the duty rosters for the next three months were planned out – provided no one died – and he'd updated each trooper's file to reflect the man's participation in the most recent sims; he'd diagrammed, mapped and arranged training sims for the next three weeks, scheduled a meeting with the admiral and the Jedi when they returned from their most recent mission, organized briefings with his top officers – including Appo – to go over the logistics of sieges, because by all accounts, Torrent would likely be diverted to the Outer Rim for a while and he wanted everyone to be prepared.

But still, he wasn't tired. Rather, he was exhausted, but he was wary of sleep, because of his dreams. When he'd fallen asleep at his desk last night, he'd had horrible nightmares again, the kind he used to get before Brenna, and this morning he'd woken up even more tired than before.

His eyes were going blurry from staring at his console for so many hours but he refused to leave, and told himself that it was because he wasn't quite satisfied with the layout of the next training sim, so he was trying to correct it. Absently, he reached for the mug of caf that he'd set at his elbow – was it an hour ago? More? – and pulled a face when the cold liquid hit his tongue. With a sigh, Rex set the mug back down, resolving to get more, soon.

His comlink chirruped, signaling an incoming holo-transmission. A glance down indicated that the source was Alderaan, and he took a deep breath before he activated the link. When Brenna's face and upper body appeared before him, seated on a bed in a room he didn't recognize, Rex felt something relax inside, and he sank back into his chair. “Bren.”

“Rex.” She smiled at him, but he could see that she was nervous. “It's over,” she said after a moment. “Tucker, I mean. We had a long talk and then he left. He won't be back.”

It was what he'd hoped, but Rex was...well, curious was putting it mildly. “Is Iri okay? Are you okay?”

Although she still looked troubled, when she spoke of her daughter there was a smile on her face. “Iri's wonderful. I'm...okay. Well,” she amended, her shoulders falling a little. “Not really, but I will be.”

There was a pause, then she swept her eyes over him. “How are you?”

“Not quite okay,” he replied with a shake of his head. “But I will be. At the moment it's not so bad. Your influence, I guess.”

Brenna smiled at him again, and he wished he could reach through the transmission and touch her, even if only for an instant. Finally she took a deep breath and told him about the confrontation with Tucker; he was stunned to hear that the commando had wanted to marry her – not because it was an unreasonable thought for a man who loved her – but because Tucker had gone about the whole thing like such a...

He exhaled and tried to shake off his anger, because it would do neither Brenna nor himself any good.

When he looked back at her, Brenna's gaze was distant, focused on a point off-screen, and he watched as her entire face changed; she was beaming in a way that he'd only seen her do when talking about her daughter, only it was much, much more so, now. As he watched, Brenna reached out her arms and laughed as a little girl clambered into her lap; the picture flickered – Iri must have disturbed something – but it steadied out after a moment and Brenna bent her head to whisper something to the toddler.

A moment later the little girl turned his way, and Rex caught his breath; she looked so similar to Bren, it was uncanny, but what was even more amazing was the fact that he could see traces of his own face in hers. They were subtle, to be sure, but the similarities were there, and he wondered if it would continue to be so as Iri aged.

Brenna's hair shifted as she spoke to her daughter, who was watching the transmission of Rex with a curious expression. “Sweetheart, this is my dear friend, Rex. Can you say 'hello?'”

There was a pause, then he watched in utter astonishment as Iri's hand lifted and she burbled out a brief, “'lo, Rex.”

“Hello, Iri,” he replied in his warmest voice. “It's wonderful to meet you.”

The child studied him a moment longer, then looked up at her mother. “Rex like Tucker, Mama.”

“He does look like Tucker,” she replied, smiling as she smoothed back her daughter's hair. “But they couldn't be more different.”

Something about the way she said the words struck Rex, and he took a breath to steady himself; a moment later, Iri looked at him again, her eyes flickering behind and around his head. “Tree!” she exclaimed suddenly, pointing towards the wall behind him, where he'd managed to hang some of the pics that Bren had passed his way. There were more as well along the opposite wall so he could see them. “Mama! See? Tree!”

Rex and Brenna exchanged a laugh, and she hugged her daughter. “That's right, honey. I gave Rex some of your pictures for his office. Don't they look nice?”

“They're beautiful, Iri,” Rex added, leaning forward. “You're very handy with finger-paint.”

“Iri like trees,” she replied, sitting up and giving him a broad smile. “Pretty.”

Brenna smiled as well, and shot Rex a raised brow as she spoke to the toddler. “Maybe you can make some new pictures to send him, soon. Would you be willing to do that, Iri?”

There was a pause; Rex watched in fascination as Iri studied him again. A strange thrill of delight moved through his body when she nodded, then cast a shy smile his way. “'Kay, Mama.”

“Thank you, Iri,” he said, giving her a salute and chuckling as she giggled and hid her face in her mother's hair.

At this, Brenna gave him a huge grin as she mouthed I love you, which made him smile in return, and reply in a similarly silent manner. He wasn't sure about children, but considering this was his first conversation with her daughter, it was probably too soon to say anything about the true nature of his relationship with Brenna, so a little bit of subterfuge was necessary.

Across the galaxy from the woman he loved, with no true knowledge of when he'd see her again...not for the first time in the last two days he wondered if he'd made the right decision by staying.

Perhaps she'd seen the change in his expression; perhaps she knew him that well. Brenna gave him a knowing look even as she rubbed her daughter's back. “How are your brothers? Fives is behaving himself, I hope?”

“More or less,” Rex replied, leaning back in his chair. “He's assigned to us for the time being – again. There's talk of more sieges in the Outer Rim, among other things. The next few months are going to be...tough.” He paused, because suddenly all of that talk felt very inconsequential in light of the rest of his life. “And I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” she said as Iri began to tug at the sleeve of her shirt. “Rex, I miss you so much, but I love and understand that you're committed to your brothers. You're...” A blush appeared on her cheeks, barely discernible through the holo. “Honorable,” she said after a moment. “Rex, you're the most honorable man I've ever met.”

Again, he shook his head, but this time it was because he didn't trust his voice to work right away. Finally he managed. “It's...good to hear you say that. Thank you.”

Neither one spoke for a moment, until Iri broke the silence. “Rex brothers?”

Rex had to chuckle at her perplexed tone. “I have quite a few, Iri.”

“But he's the most handsome out of all of them,” Brenna added, shooting him a wink that made his ears get a little too warm.

She paused, then took a deep breath. “I sent in my application again,” she said after a moment. “Apparently it's a slow process – like anything with the government – so it might be a few weeks before I hear back. I'll stay on Alderaan in the meantime.”

A long, slow inhale and exhale did nothing to set his heart at ease, but he tried not to show the fact. Instead, he nodded and worked to appear neutral. However, she must have known, for she gave him an earnest look. “It will work out,” she said as she removed Iri's grip from the buttons of her shirt. “We'll find a way...somehow.”

“I hope so,” he replied, wishing again he could reach for her through the holo. They spoke for a few more minutes, finally ending with a promise to speak again tomorrow evening; by that time, Iri had fallen asleep in her mother's arms, her entire body appearing limp and totally relaxed, and her face was peaceful. Before he signed off, Rex nodded to the little girl. “She's beautiful. Did I ever tell you that?”

“Maybe once or twice,” she replied with a smile. “Talk to you tomorrow?”

Rex nodded, then glanced at the child again to make sure she was really asleep. “I love you, Bren.”

“I love you, too,” she said at once, hugging sleeping Iri to her chest. “Stay safe, okay?”

“I'll do my best.”

 

Touching closure of sorts between Tucker and Bren. VERY! The holo-comm chat - Rex is feeling like Daddy! already! Looking forward to their sizzly reunion LOL (Every Monday I squee when I see this has been updated)

 

@Nyota's Heart: Bren and Tucker needed to hash stuff out like this, even though he went about setting it up in a pretty [expletive] way. Yes, Rex is already leaning toward being a "daddy." He's awesome like that. ​

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And so are you! Thanks so much for the comment! ​

*****​

Chapter Thirty-Five​

Bren: I know that I promised to call you tonight, but we're being deployed to Ojom almost this instant, and I wanted to let you know that I'll be out of comm range for a few days, at least. Ahsoka's been sent on a covert-ops mission of some kind, so it's only Skywalker who'll be with us on Ojom.

Other than that, things are relatively normal on my end. As normal as they can be, I suppose, considering that the casualties seem to be getting worse each day; not just in the 501st, but in the army as a whole. For each man that's cut down, it seems like three more step in...all Spaartis. There are few of us “regular” clones (Fives' phrase, not mine) left.

Anyway, Jesse and Tup wanted me to pass on “hello”for them; I think Kix does as well, but he didn't expressly say so – you know how he is. From what I understand, Fives and Marliss have been together for most of their free time...though they've each been incommunicado.

I miss you. A lot. Give Iri a hug for me. Love, Rex.

*​

Approximately one month prior to Order 66...

Ice and snow may have made a decent backdrop for his men to blend into, but Rex had never been a fan of frigid temperatures, not to mention the chilling gusts of wind that somehow managed to find their way into the depths of his climate-controlled armor. The settlement they were supposed to be protecting was little more than a meager collection of huts, and the citizens were certainly taking their time to evac, though Rex wondered if the desperate lash of the wind was playing a role in the delay.

Ojom was miserable and cold, and he decided – again, because he'd already figured this out a while ago, back on Ordo Plutonia – that he really, really didn't care for weather like this. He missed the sun, missed being warm.

“Incoming!” Jesse's warning shout snapped the captain into automatic action.

Ducking out of the way of the blast from the Seppie cannon, Rex rolled his body into a somersault, springing to his feet a moment later. Beneath his boots, he could feel the hard-packed snow quaking with the enemy tank's approach. All around him the men of Torrent Company were blasting away at the oncoming vehicles; as he ducked to avoid another hail of plasma, Rex watched three Spaartis fall, then disappear when their unblemished armor blended into the snow a little too perfectly.

The soldiers were too exposed here. Rex shouted an order over the comm channel; immediately, his men began to pull back, towards the slanted shelter of a glacier's edge. Beside him, another of the Spaartis – Rex felt a flare of shame that he couldn't recall the fellow's designation, as none of them had nicknames – stumbled when a round of plasma bit into his shoulder. The captain paused, tried to pick up his fellow clone, but the blaster-bolts were incoming thicker than hail or wind, and he had to leap away in order to avoid being killed himself. Once he was relatively safe, he glanced back, searching for the fallen Spaarti. He couldn't find him.

Some time later – he wasn't sure how much – Rex found himself standing back-to-back with Fives and Jesse as the three soldiers faced off against a veritable storm of droids; luckily, most of his men were out of the line of fire from the Hailfire tanks – themselves having some trouble gaining traction on the icy terrain – but Rex feared that it would not be so for much longer.

“Could really use some help right about now,” Fives grunted as he hurled a det towards the approaching droids. “Where the haran is Skywalker?”

“No clue.” It was Coric, coming up to Rex's left flank to stand beside Jesse; the other troopers provided the medic a measure of cover while he knelt to refill his hyposprays. “No one's seen him since those tanks started up.”

The ARC made an irritated noise. Nearby, Tup was picking off droids at long range; it was he who spotted the last of the locals, making a break from their homes while the clones provided cover. “There they go, at last! Maybe now we can bang out of here?”

“Kriffing Besalisks,” Fives replied, his voice a growl. “Cowards, the lot of them. Not a one bothered to help us – and it's their home we're defending!”

The unabashed ire in his words made Rex bristle involuntarily, but he couldn't in good conscious allow that kind of talk. “Fives, keep your mind on the mission!”

“More cannons incoming,” Jesse called out. “From the south...”

“I hope the Spaartis can handle it,” Coric replied, still bent over his medkit. “Us regulars have our hands tied.”

Rex missed Fives' reply, as something that Coric had said made him glance around; aside from himself, Fives, Jesse, Tup and Coric, he could make out Kix and Chopper, hurrying between fallen soldiers, checking vitals and either calling for them to be dragged out of harm's way, or moving on if there was no hope. Through the wind and snow, he could make out Viv, Thrash and Imp rounding on a group of super battle droids, while several more blue-armored men of Torrent were running to assist them. He knew there were more: Faze and Doubletake were not far away judging by the display in his HUD, and there was another pocket of clones to his left, making every effort to shield the fleeing refugees from droid-fire.

However, the rest of the clones that he could see were the Spaartis that had been brought in to supplement Torrent Company's numbers. It was like an optical illusion, as if every time he looked, there were more and more. The realization made him grimace beneath his bucket, because he wasn't quite sure when it had become this way; slowly, he thought, a gradual shifting, but he really didn't know for certain.

“There he is!” Fives' shout broke Rex out of his reverie; he looked up just in time to see Skywalker hurtle over himself and his brothers, making his way to the thick of the fighting below them, where there were still a fair number of Spaartis facing off against the clankers and their tanks. As the clones watched, the Jedi's hand lifted in what would have been a gesture of warding on any other being. On Anakin Skywalker, it was deadly.

A blast of energy was expelled away from the Jedi with enough power to knock back the clankers as if they were nothing more than leaves being tossed by the wind. It also – much to Rex's dismay – shoved aside most of the Spaartis that had been in the area, and the captain could only watch as they tumbled away, lost to the snow and to the blaster-bolts of the droids who had been out of range from Skywalker's Force-push.

“Kriffing hell,” Jesse breathed. “He just...all those clones...gone...”

“Collateral damage, I guess,” Fives added, his voice dark and grim.

Rex felt much the same. Although he doubted that Skywalker had done so on purpose, he'd seen clones killed by a Jedi before and in that moment the whiteness of Ojom was no different than Umbara's constant night.

Later, in the aftermath of battle-chaos, the wind had slowed to a manageable shuffle, making the area eerily quiet. Rex and his brothers' task of picking through the snow and searching for any survivors would have been a little bit easier had there been more survivors to find. At best, there were a handful, and Rex heard someone lament that Torrent would be receiving another bout of transfers.

“Times like this, I almost miss that stick-in-the-mud Lieutenant Appo,” Jesse was saying to Tup as they stood nearby Rex, who was crouched over one of the Spaartis.

“Captain Appo,” Tup corrected in a hushed voice. “As of last week, remember? Skywalker promoted him before he was sent off to work with another unit of the 501st.”

The Spaarti that lay before Rex was dead from exposure, had probably been so within a few minutes, as his armor had been compromised. In the hours since they'd won the battle, Rex had not found one living man save those who had walked away from the fighting, and he suddenly felt like a massive, crushing weight had settled over his entire body. He knew that Ojom would be considered a victory, but again he thought that the cost was too high.

Expendable, the lot of them.

But this soldier had not died from a droid. Rex was no medic, but even he could see that the soldier's leg had been broken by the impact of landing after bearing the brunt of Skywalker's Force-push; coupled with the compromised state of his armor, this man hadn't had much of a chance.

While it had happened, Rex had marked where each soldier had fallen when the Jedi had “saved” them and set the tanks back, all the while feeling a coil of misgiving in his gut because Fives' words about collateral damage had hit too close to home. As much as he wanted to respect – hell, to like – Skywalker all the time, the action was unconscionable. Men, good men, if not the best, were dead, and it could have been avoidable had Anakin – he was no general, not right now – simply communicated what he intended to do so that the clones could get out of the way.

It would be different, right now.

The truth was, Skywalker may have been a good soldier, but Rex had seen him lose control on more than one occasion, especially if he was distracted or preoccupied, and it was widely acknowledged that the 501st didn't have high casualty numbers simply due to the dangerous missions they were assigned. Collateral damage, while often unavoidable, was supposed to be prevented at all costs, whether or not those affected were considered expendable.

Rex knew there was no use dwelling on such things, but he had a difficult time justifying Skywalker's behavior, especially here, especially now, when even in the slightest hiss of wind he could hear Krell's laughter.

*​

Rex: Even though the HoloNet said that the Republic won Ojom, it wasn't until I heard from you and knew that you were safe that I considered it a “victory.” I try not to worry too much – I know you can take care of yourself, and that you and your brothers look out for one another – but it's hard.

Still waiting on my application to be accepted, or “re-accepted,” I suppose. “Pending,” is the only response I get each time I check; I've been in contact with my former supervisor on the Resolute, who's trying to get me back there, so there's a bit of hope.

Iri is doing wonderfully, and it's better than I can say to be with her again. She's taken a shine to you over our holo-calls, as she keeps asking me when we're going to talk to you again. I think she likes your armor...like mother, like daughter, I guess.

Anyway, I'll keep checking on my application, and the moment I hear anything, I'll let you know.

Please stay safe, Rex. I love you.

*​

Three and a half weeks prior to Order 66...

Despite the chill that still clung to the breeze, the sun was warm on Brenna's back as she sat on the lowest step of the front porch, watching her daughter and her nephew at play. From what she could tell, the sandbox in Caith and Edme's yard was currently something of a battle-ground, with each child controlling their own “army” of toys; save for the occasional shriek, they were relatively quiet, which meant that Brenna could frown at her datapad in peace.

Status of Brenna Damaris: Application Approval Pending.

It was unchanged since this morning, unchanged since last night and the previous afternoon; it was unchanged from nearly two weeks ago, and she was trying not to be frustrated. Brenna felt like she was being ripped in two, because she loved being near her daughter but she missed Rex. His absence was a yawning emptiness within her heart that could not be filled by Iri, nor Caith or Edme. The thought of him in danger caused a tightness in her chest, so she tried not to dwell on it too often.

She usually failed.

Brenna set down her 'pad and pulled out her comlink, studying it for a moment while the kids shrieked at one another in the background. She'd made a few mods to this one so that she could try and listen into the GAR channels like she'd done on the Resolute, but her distance from the ship coupled with a decided lack of military tech around made it all but impossible. Mostly she had to rely on the HoloNet for news of recent battles, which was vague at best; rarely were the clones mentioned, and if they were, it was only a few nondescript words. Casualty numbers were never given, and certainly no individual clones were noted.

Since he'd been busier than normal lately, the calls they could manage between them had become sporadic at best, and over the last few days she only knew that Rex was alive because of his messages. The more recent ones had been perfunctory, but she took a moment to re-read each of them, imagining that she could hear him speak the words.

Suddenly, it was too quiet. Alarmed, Brenna glanced back up at the children, noting with relief that Iri was only studying something in her hand; if she squinted, Brenna could make out what appeared to be a feather of some kind. A moment later, she watched as her daughter scrambled to her feet and darted across the yard towards the porch.

When Iri came to a halt before her, the little girl held up the feather and gave Brenna a look that was filled with pride. “Mama! Bird!”

“It belonged to a bird,” Brenna replied with a smile, holding out her hand. After Iri gave it to her, she twirled the feather so that it glinted in the sunlight. “Probably a mountain dove...see the blue on the tip?”

Iri nodded; Brenna handed it back to her daughter, watching with amusement as Iri mimicked her movements and twirled the feather for a moment, apparently lost in thought. Finally she looked back at her mother, her expression hopeful. “Send Rex?”

It was an effort to keep her face neutral, and Brenna thought that Iri could see the change in her eyes at the mention of Rex's name. “I don't think we can send it, honey,” she said, rubbing Iri's arm in a comforting motion when her daughter's face fell. “But why don't you make a picture of it tonight? When you're done, I'll send that to him, instead.”

After taking another moment to consider, Iri nodded. She pressed the feather back into Brenna's hand, then turned and darted back to Tavi, who'd begun building a fortress or castle of some kind in her absence.

“Who's Rex?” Caith's voice made Brenna turn; she had to shade her eyes with the flat of her hand to see him as he made his way down the steps to sit beside her. “Someone you met on the Resolute?”

Brenna nodded, but said nothing as she examined the feather again, noting the way that it caught every color of the rainbow in the intense sunlight. Caith exhaled and leaned forward so that his knees were bent, with his elbows resting on top of them, and when he spoke he didn't look her way. “I thought you had...someone. You're on the that comlink all the time – even for you – and you've been pretty mopey since you've been here.”

“I haven't been...” At her brother's lifted brow, she gave a sigh. “Okay, I've been a little mopey. I miss him...a lot.”

Caith gave a chuckle and patted her arm. “I figured. He's not a clone, is he?” The words were said in a joking manner, but all amusement drained from his face at her hesitation. “Bren...”

She took a breath and looked back at Iri and Tav, at the distant clouds and mountains, at the wavering grass and the hydenock trees. When Caith spoke again, his voice held an edge. “I can't believe this...you know you're going to get hurt again, right?”

“Rex is nothing like Tucker,” she replied, glaring at her brother.

“He's a clone.”

“He's a man,” she retorted. “One of the good ones. The best one, actually. They're not the same...none of them are the same as any other.”

There was anger in her tone, and Caith lifted his hands in a gesture of peace. “Alright, I believe you. I'm just trying to look out for my little sister, okay? You don't have the best luck with men-”

“Rex isn't like Arcas, either,” she added. “Trust me.” A breeze tugged at her hair and she felt a little too chilly for the duration as she thought of her first love, who'd broken her heart well before she'd met Tucker.

Finally she sighed and glanced at her brother again. “It's just...I miss Rex more than I thought possible. Even though I'm home and I know I should be happy, I feel like...” She frowned and glanced at her comm. “Like I'm missing a piece of myself.”

Beyond them, Iri and Tav were bickering about something involving the castle they were building, but it hadn't yet reached a level where the adults would have to intercede. She was quiet for a moment, then she gave her brother a small smile. “I think you'd like him.”

As he watched his son and niece, Caith nodded, despite the wariness in his eyes. Finally he exhaled and looked back at her. “I don't want you to get hurt again.”

“Neither do I,” she replied at once. “And neither does he.”

*****​

A/N: This chapter and the next were originally one very, very long piece, so I chose to break them up in two parts.

When I set about writing this fic, I wanted to draw many more comparisons between Krell and Anakin, but decided to pull back from that idea for a variety of reasons. At this stage in his character's development, Anakin's not a villain; he makes bad choices sometimes, but he's not like Krell in that he's not selfish and cruel. However, he does have a tendency towards reckless action, and he doesn't regard the Spaarti clones as being on the same "level" as clones like Rex, Fives and Jesse.

Note on pronunciation: I probably should have said this waaay back when, but Irini's name is pronounced "Year-eee-nee." ("Year-eee" for her nickname) It's not pivotal to the story or anything, but I thought I'd let you know.

Next time: the countdown continues.


Thank you for reading!