Beyond - Legends The First - AU, OC Viggie ... NEW July 8th

Title: The First
Author: oldjedinurse
Timeframe: Post-LOTF
Genre: Drama
Characters: OC, References to unnamed canon characters
Summary: Total speculation.
Status: Complete vignette.


Disclaimer: George and everyone who works for or has a contract with him own it all. I own nothing. I mean that literally.


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The First


The flat of animal hide stretching across the small table before her was finally beginning to cooperate. She adjusted her cramped fingers, then resumed tensile grips on both the hide and broken vibroblade. The crude remnant of an old weapon was not the tool of an artist but it would do the job.

She was recreating an elegant image in the style of her homeworld by etching fine lines into the pebbly surface. Furious waves crashed against sea cliffs. Avians floated on updrafts. And noble beasts sought to outrun the coastal wind, galloping down from the top of a rocky precipice to the peace of a soft brown meadow. The result was a beautiful work, not diminished by its minutiae. Reflections and memories; uplifting and powerful.

Mathalia paused in the sand-colored lamplight. The etching pleased her. As she ran a finger across the newly lined surface, she was abruptly transported back to those cliffs of her childhood. Once again she stood firm against coarse winds, tasted ocean-spiced air, and heard the wild calls of winged creatures in their idyll.

She?d been a dreamy girl who had always looked to the skies, most often from that particular vantage. She had allowed her imagination to drift among the infinite stars quite unafraid of the whispered tales about horror and war?heard when a small girl should have been asleep. Mathalia had known that one day she would become part of something larger than herself. Part of a solution, perhaps?

She had been a child who'd held her secrets close.

A green-speckled reptile skittered across the table. The young woman lifted her chin and opened her eyes as the Force capsule dispersed into the dampness. Now she understood the power that came with building a lightsaber.

My lightsaber.

She?Mathalia Kautar?had become a part of ancient galactic history. She had built a sword of the Jedi. Her precious crystal worked beautifully and soon, with the covering finished, the weapon would truly become a part of her.

A cold, metallic hilt had never felt right in her hand, although the one Teacher had given her had served well enough. Mathalia had struggled against it, learned from it, and eventually merged its purpose with her own as best she could but the chilly feel of it mainly served to inspire her to build another. One that would be all Mathalia; a personal symbol of strength, of reaching her potential.

She concentrated into the early morning hours, sealing and bonding hide to saber hilt then neatly trimming every loose end until, in the darkness of middle-night on this odd swampy little planet, it was suddenly done.

The Force drew Mathalia out into the dark to stand under listless rain. Soft, forgiving hide against her palm provided the only warmth she seemed to need and, for just a moment, she savored its feel; the etchings and familiarity. Her thumb trembled once before striking the switch. A fresh golden blade of light broke the darkness and Mathalia smiled. She would allow herself a brief moment of pride, for there was no other saber like this one.

The hilt was capped with an ornate cut-out made from rare ore unique to her homeworld. A light-blade generated by her crystal bent around and through the swirling cap pattern. The ore would always withstand the light: never cracking, never breaking, and never weakening the lightsaber blade. It would forever project her family?s seal. Mathalia?s hand expertly inverted the hilt and there it was: the elegantly curved shape shadowed on moss-covered ground.

The Mark of Kautar.

[image=http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a389/j

 

Scrubs, the prose was just beautiful. I'd offer more praise but I'm finding inspiration for words a little lacking today. (I think you understand why ) Know this though, you're writing as always brought a smile to my face.

 

TKeira_Lea said it best, oldj. Beautiful prose. You so eloquently described Mathalia putting together her lightsaber. Lot's of hope in this but there is also a underlining sadness.

The first in a line of new Jedi? It's sad, the losses everyone's faced but I'm relieved that the light is still strong.

I'm always so happy to read your work.

 

oldj-
A wonderful start, you do a great job of grabbing the interest of the reader with an OC character, providing answers while enticing us with many questions - who, where, when?

This line really brought young Luke on Tatooine to my mind...
She?d been a dreamy girl who had always looked to the skies, most often from that particular vantage. She had allowed her imagination to drift among the infinite stars quite unafraid of the whispered tales about horror and war

And for me, blended well right into the last line...
Teacher was already waiting to welcome the first Knight of the New Empire.

If Teacher is who I imagine and the where and when are as my wandering mind has speculated --- even better.

'night
jaYna

 

Ah - so beautiful, ojn. I liked the mystery and the backstory you built into the text to give a sense of context, but not too much to overwhelm the present. Extremely well structured piece.

Art bonded with power; old ideas intermingled with new.
You know, I thought that line resonated in several ways - as much to do with what you as the author were doing with the story as with Mathalia's work on her saber. I think when a writer uses her own experience then it really makes a story come alive because it sounds so REAL.

The hilt was capped with an ornate cut-out made from rare ore unique to her homeworld. A light-blade generated by her crystal bent around and through the swirling cap pattern. The ore would always withstand the light: never cracking, never breaking, and never weakening the lightsaber blade. It would forever project her family?s seal.
What a marvelous idea - literally combining her heritage with the mantle of the Jedi. Kind of like her own brand - and also, as she said, bonding art with power.

This was wonderfully creative. I love it.

 

She was recreating an elegant image in the style of her homeworld by etching fine lines into the pebbly surface. Furious waves crashed against sea cliffs. Avians floated on updrafts. And noble beasts sought to outrun the coastal wind, galloping down from the top of a rocky precipice to the peace of a soft brown meadow. The result was a beautiful work, not diminished by its minutiae. Reflections and memories; uplifting and powerful.

Speaking of beautiful work, what a wonderfully crafted paragraph! Beautiful use of language here, oldj

The Force drew Mathalia out into the dark to stand under listless rain. Soft, forgiving hide against her palm provided the only warmth she seemed to need and, for just a moment, she savored its feel; the etchings and familiarity. Her thumb trembled once before striking the switch. A fresh golden blade of light broke the darkness and Mathalia smiled. She would allow herself a brief moment of pride, for there was no other saber like this one.
The hilt was capped with an ornate cut-out made from rare ore unique to her homeworld. A light-blade generated by her crystal bent around and through the swirling cap pattern. The ore would always withstand the light: never cracking, never breaking, and never weakening the lightsaber blade. It would forever project her family?s seal. Mathalia?s hand expertly inverted the hilt, and there it was, the elegantly curved shape shadowed on the moss-covered ground.

Again, great descriptions

The Mark of Kautar.

Beautiful! Love the art

Mathalia centered herself. Instruments were not necessary. Her ship burst into lightspeed on a precise heading toward the brightest Force presence left in the universe. Teacher was already waiting to welcome the first Knight of the New Empire.

I'm thinking Jaina, but that's just my opinion.

You know what? Everytime you write a viggie, I find myself sad at the end that it's not going to be a multi-poster. This is such a great post I have a ton of questions and want to see where it goes. But I guess that's what makes it an amazing viggie

Really loved all the little details about the lightsaber and its construction, and I especially liked all the little allusions to larger galactic matters, and how you gave us hints of what's been going on without coming out and saying it. You know how to make the reader's mind do most of the work and make us wonder about a hundred different things in a few paragraphs, or construct the missing pieces on our own. That's very impressive.

Terrific job, as always, oldj

 

TKL:
I do understand! I so appreciate the fact that you came over here to read this under the circumstances. Glad you enjoyed it!

ccp:
Thank you, sir!

Miranda:
Thanks so much for your neverending support! I'm pleased that you felt the sadness in Mathalia.

jaYna:
"A wonderful start" you say? You and Yobi sound alike! I did insert quite a few subtle and not-so-subtle references in this story. Hope you enjoyed them! And you think you know who Teacher is, huh? Well, I imagine you know where my preferences for the future lie...

Tahi:
I am honored, not only because you enjoyed this, but because your thoughtful analysis is so amazing! You are such an astute reader, my friend! Nothing gets by you, does it? In fact, I used my own experience in writing this far more than you know. It is dangerously close to Mary Sue status!

Glad you liked the lightsaber idea! I'm fond of it myself (it's my design for a hilt, inspired by some C4 costumers). You said this piece was "creative". I couldn't ask for a better compliment. In fact, thank you for all of your compliments! Your critique is greatly appreciated!

Yobi:
"Beautiful use of language here, oldj" Thanks, Yobi! I do misuse words sometimes, just because it's fun. Glad to hear that I get my point across anyway!

Also nice to hear you enjoyed Mathalia's lightsaber!

"I'm thinking Jaina, but that's just my opinion." Oh? Well that's very interesting...

"You know what? Everytime you write a viggie, I find myself sad at the end that it's not going to be a multi-poster. This is such a great post grin I have a ton of questions and want to see where it goes. But I guess that's what makes it an amazing viggie."

"You know how to make the reader's mind do most of the work and make us wonder about a hundred different things in a few paragraphs, or construct the missing pieces on our own. That's very impressive."

Aw! Don't be sad!! I don't believe that a writer could receive finer compliments than these! Thank you doesn't seem to be an adequate response.

I have toyed with the idea of more Mathalia stories. If ideas strike... you never know.


Thank you all, so much!

oldj

 

Beautiful Viggie. Loved speculating on whether you where talking about Jaina as the teacher.

I agree with others that I would love to learn more about Mathalia Kautar.

 

Thank you, Lyne! I always like to leave you guessing about something... And I very much appreciate that you would like to see Mathalia again.

 

If I was able to create good imagery, then I did my job. Thank you for reading, Leona.

 

Now this is one of the most original pieces I've read in a while - and I'm a terrible lurker. It's beautifully written and it has such a mood of reverence about it, like Mathalia understands what it truly means to be a Jedi. Really impressive piece.

 

Hello, thusspakezarathustra! I'm honored that you de-lurked for my story!

I am also honored by your wonderful comments. It is very gratifying to know what you thought about this piece. Hearing that readers saw and felt exactly what I intended--well, I can't ask for much more than that!

Your post is greatly appreciated!

oldj

 

Beautifully written! I loved the little details, the lizard scampering across the table, the glow of the lamplight. She seems like a fascinating person, and I am curious as to who Teacher is also.

I wish there were more to this. I really would like to know this character better.

Lovely writing and beautiful viggie!

 

Hi, divapilot!

Thanks very much for stopping by and offering so many nice comments. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself!

Thank you, also, for wanting more of Mathalia. Life is crazy right now, but "never say never". As for the identity of "Teacher"... could be a number of people, but I do have someone in mind. That's classified!

oldj

 

Well, ojn, I think it's the beautiful writing that makes it easy as a reader to be perceptive, if that makes any sense. It just struck me that we often, intentionally or not, instill or embed our own experience into a text. And the resonance here between art, passion and chosen role was strong - and wonderfully harmonious. It's something a thinking person aspires to possess, like an ideal. [sighs]

 

I like the sound of that *Tries Force-persuasion*

 

It is hard to expand on what others have said so well. Beautifully and emotionally written, oldjedinurse.

 

She was recreating an elegant image in the style of her homeworld by etching fine lines into the pebbly surface. Furious waves crashed against sea cliffs. Avians floated on updrafts. And noble beasts sought to outrun the coastal wind, galloping down from the top of a rocky precipice to the peace of a soft brown meadow. The result was a beautiful work, not diminished by its minutiae. Reflections and memories; uplifting and powerful.

Mathalia paused in the sand-colored lamplight. The etching pleased her. As she ran a finger across the newly lined surface, she was abruptly transported back to those cliffs of her childhood. Once again she stood firm against coarse winds, tasted ocean-spiced air, and heard the wild calls of winged creatures in their idyll.

Loved that.

That was an absolutely wonderful piece, oldj. It was filled with your trademark beautiful prose and the imagery was astoundingly vivid.

I hope you'll write more about this fascinating OC.