Before The Fog of Peace - Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon Mission - COMPLETE - 20-Feb-2009

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ardavenport, Feb 10, 2009.

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  1. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Title: The Fog of Peace
    Author: ardavenport
    Timeframe: Before the Saga
    Genre: Drama, Angst
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, OCs
    Keywords Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, fog, witness
    Summary: The Jedi have been called upon to witness something that can't be seen.
    And: Typo is my middle name, with missing words and errors that spell checkers don?t catch being my speciality ? if you see any, just post a reply or send a PM with the what and where and I will kill them with no mercy.
    Disclaimer: All characters belong to George and Lucasfilm; I?m just playing in their sandbox




    Obi-Wan Kenobi ran back to where he had been, stumbling on uneven patches of grassy ground. His heavy breathing filled the soundless air around him.

    He stopped. Turned one way. Then the other. Behind him.

    Nothing but fog.

    Was this the same place?

    He began pacing a spiral outward, looking down at green-gray tufts of grass, dark green crawling vines and flattened patches of bright yellowish-green with clusters of very tiny white flowers. He cleared his mind and plodded on, seeking guidance from the Force, that strong sense of intuition that would tell him what was the right spot. But all he felt was fog.

    Gray fog, so thick that it limited his world to himself and the small patch of ground he traversed. So no matter how far he went, he always remained in the same place. This planet had only one primary star, but Obi-Wan could not tell where it would be in the sky. But it was somewhere in its day cycle behind the uniform gray of fog around him.

    The air on his face felt as if it were two temperatures, the coolness of the air itself and the clamminess of the moisture suspended in it. Still circling outward, he felt disoriented, his body tilted too far to one side.

    He tripped.

    And rolled on the ground, his heavy robe helping to cushion the fall. He ended up on his back and stared up at perfectly smooth, blank grayness, endless and closely confining at the same time.

    His body felt numbed, like his senses. And still dizzy, as if he was still rolling. He gulped air to steady himself.

    He knew he should be doing better. At seventeen standard years of age, he had been a Jedi Padawan for years now. But his vision sank away from the fog, the grayness receding further and further above him through a long black tunnel.

    Obi-Wan shook his head, disturbed but his mind still blank. Not from clarity in the Force, but from hazy confusion. He rolled over. A line of pain seared his biceps and remained while he positioned himself on his hands and knees. He breathed deeply, steadily and eventually his thoughts and sight began to solidify. He sat back, his legs under him and groped the sleeve of his robe on his right arm. His fingers found a thin shaft embedded in the coarse fabric. He pulled it away, held it up. Touched the smooth length of it, his forefinger stopping at the needle point.

    A dart? Poison? Drug?

    His head floated in the fog. His arm burned from the grazing wound on his skin. He lowered his head and that seemed to help steady it. The dart slipped out of his fingers.

    There was nothing but his small patch of ground and the fog, close around him on all sides and above, like a huge hazy gray bowl turned over him. He tried to push his senses beyond it in the Force. To Qui-Gon.

    His Master was. . . . . somewhere. Not near. Not active. But not dead. Small living creatures swarmed and darted about their own business out of sight in the opaque air and among the sparse plants of this plain. And there were others. . . . . looking for him. He tilted his head back, all his senses listening.

    Stumbling, he climbed to his feet and swayed precariously before a distant hum focused his attention again.

    He ran, his body falling forward with each step away from the searchers behind him. Light-headed, he could not tell if he traveled up or down the very slight incline of the plain. Up and out of the immense crater and its permanent fog or down further into danger?
  2. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    <shakes head> HOW do you keep writing such vivid places & events? Your stories breath life.

    Now Obi's in trouble again, but so apparently is Qui-Gon. I look forwrd to reading this whole story.
  3. dimyavie Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2006
    star 1
    Wow. You've certainly got me interested in this story! Poor Qui and Obi. Hopefully Qui will escape (if he needs to) or get better soon and help Obi. :) I look forward to reading more.
  4. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    interesting new story and waiting for more
  5. XANl Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 1, 2006
    star 1
    O-0 Did Obi Wan awake up? Were was he taken?
    What happened to Master Jinn?
    [face_tired]
    There are so many questions left to answer.[face_thinking]
    Please continue
  6. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4

    Valairy_Scot: I don't know where my writing is coming from either, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts. :) I like to put Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan in very atmospheric places and the stories come from that a lot of the time. And atmosphere usually leads to trouble for them. [face_mischief] Thanks for reading!

    dimyavie: Thank-you! I have to admit that it is easier to get an exciting start when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are already in trouble. ;)

    earlybird-obi-wan: Thanks for reading! :)

    XANI: There's nothing like trouble for the main characters to get the story going. [face_mischief] Thanks for the reply!

  7. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4

    ~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~ - - Part 2



    Bright late afternoon sunlight shone on the reddish stone of a rocky overhang overlooking a foggy shore below. The impenetrable haze made a weird, flat sea with no visible shore on the other side with the curve of the Zirosh crater's edge barely discernable from the ground.

    A small light gray space ship with the red makings of the Galactic Republic cast a lengthening shadow over its improvised landing platform on the overhang.

    The distant hum and rumble of engines drew near and grew louder. A convoy of speeders and transports emerged up from out of the gray. They formed a line before the Republic ship on the foggy shore of the crater.

    People emerged. Tall thin figures with long arms and legs and heads. Yellow-skinned Pazash in tan uniforms. Green-skinned Tash-Pazash in light blue uniforms. Some guided two lift-flats, each with a still brown-robed figure on it.

    An argument started.

    A Pazash commander accused the Tash-Pazash of badly underestimating the Jedi and that they should have listened to their advice. And that everything had been ruined.

    A Tash-Pazash diplomat shouted back that if the Pazash had kept better rein on the criers on their public coms that their current situation would never have emerged.

    They traded unproductive accusations and insults. None of them immediately noticed one of the brown-robed figures struggling to sit up and blearily watch them.

    The older Jedi turned his head from one group to the other, his arms supporting him, long hair drooping over the shoulders of his rumpled dark brown robe, bearded jaw slack and blue eyes unfocused. Some lower ranking Tazash and Tash-Pazash joined in with a few acerbic comments though it was unclear who was being critiqued. Diplomats from either side tried to divert the arguing back to discussing their problem . . . . until an underling squealed and pointed.

    Pazash and Tash-Pazash stared, their large eyes fixed on the Jedi futilely swiping as some loose strands of brown hair. Simultaneously, two long darts, one with a yellow tail the other with green, struck the Jedi from both sides, jolting him into attention. A moment later he fell backward again onto the flat.

    The arguing continued, but in hashed voices. A yellow skinned team hustled forward to take the lifter flats away out from under the Jedi, dumping them on the bare, reddish dirt. Some of the speeders and transports left, the remaining people speaking in more productive tones. More of them left until a single sleek speeder remained.

    Commander Timash Outsh approached the smaller brown robe. He knelt by it, along with an aide who reached down with a white cylinder. Outsh turned the body over and the white cylinder hissed against Obi-Wan Kenobi's neck. The pair bent their long necks down to peer at him.

    Obi-Wan felt a hot pricking in the back of his throat and his eyes opened to see a deeply shadowed green head looking down at him. Slender hands grasped his upper arms, the fingers going all the way around his biceps, and roughly shook him.

    "Aaaash hooosh!" Outsh yelled at him to wake up. He and his aides' hands pulled Obi-Wan up to sit. He teetered precariously.

    "Hoooweesh aash hosh-hosh-aaash auuush," Outsh went on, waving his arms theatrically about Pazash paranoia, Jedi arrogance and his security teams having to go rescue them from bandits. Obi-Wan squinted up at the tall thin security commander, catching most of Outsh's meaning but only half the words.

    After finishing a summary of the critical report he would be transmitting back to their Jedi superiors Outsh and his aide left, sweeping their arms back dismissively.

    Obi-Wan watched their speeder buzz away, making a sharp right turn at the fog-line of the crater.

    He blinked.

    Then looked toward the dark brown heap next to him.

    Spurred into action, Obi-Wan reached for and then pulled himself to his Master's side, grasping a shoulder and shaking it. Getting no response, he pulled Qui-Gon over onto his back, the head flopping over to one side. Leaning clos
  8. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Oh, my, they got away in the 2nd post?!? I find that interesting...but I'm pleased. I think.
  9. DarthXan318 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 12, 2002
    star 6
    Interesting! :D

    I especially like the opening sequence with the fog. Very cool, and vivid, and you capture the sense of being completely lost really well. =D=
  10. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    great second post and what has Qui-Gon done? But getting back to the Jedi is nice
  11. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    For some reason I think that Qui-Gon is going to leap at Obi-Wan and eat him at the start of the next post. :eek: :p

    All of these events so far are really puzzling and intriguing. I like how you describe Obi-Wan "non-contemplating nothing". And sleeping next to Qui-Gon. [face_love] Very mysterious. I can't wait for more.
  12. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot: Hmmmmm, I might have pulled them out of that dire situation a little soon and abruptly. [face_thinking] But after torturing Obi-Wan in my last story, I thought I'd give them a break.;) Thanks for reading!

    DarthXan318: Thank-you! The fog comes from just noticing it on a foggy day. Thick fog can be very cool.

    earlybird-obi-wan: Thanks! I think Qui-Gon (and Obi-Wan) are just in the wrong place.

    LuvEwan: Oooooh, I don't think Qui-Gon would be up to biting anything, but that does make me wonder what would drive him to it. [face_mischief] And I think that the life-and-death closeness that Jedi master and padawan is the kind where one can crawl to the other for comfort when needed. Thanks for reading!

  13. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4

    ~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~ - - Part 3



    "Master."

    Obi-Wan laid a hand on his forehead. Qui-Gon moaned softly, squinting. He inhaled and Obi-Wan felt him reaching for the Force. They breathed together for a moment.

    Grimacing, Qui-Gon moved his head, his awareness of his surroundings increasing. He tried to push himself up but the restraints held him down. Obi-Wan released them and Qui-Gon, one arm firmly wrapped around Obi-Wan's, straightened. Then his eyes opened wide, staring forward.

    "We were dismissed by Commander Outsh," Obi-Wan explained. "We'll be back at the Temple soon."

    Qui-Gon nodded mutely, slumping back in his seat and closing his eyes again. Obi-Wan did not need to ask how he felt. He could feel it through the Force, his palm, still resting on Qui-Gon's temple. Limbs, body and brain still sodden with the lingering drug, Qui-Gon dozed while Obi-Wan stayed close, waited for him to refocus himself.

    It began with the flexing of hands and feet, tensing of arms and legs, testing of muscles, controlled motion in place. His Master slowly revived in measured, controlled steps, not visible to the eye, but in growing balance in the Force so long practiced it came from unconscious instinct. Obi-Wan remained at his side ready to help, but also mindful of everything his Master did, so that he should learn it.

    Eventually, Qui-Gon opened his blue eyes, the pupils normal. He sighed, a long relieved breath. Obi-Wan smiled.

    "You are feeling better now?" he asked.

    Qui-Gon nodded. "Better only." Then he laid a hand on Obi-Wan's arm. "Thank-you for your help."

    "I did not do anything of significance," Obi-Wan told him.

    Now Qui-Gon smiled and patted his arm. "You greatly underestimate the value of your support, Obi-Wan. I will show you after we return." Pushing himself up from the armrests of the chair, he stood. Obi-Wan did support him this time as he swayed, but he caught his balance quickly and they went to the back of the cabin.

    Qui-Gon used the facilities, then stretched and exercised his muscles the same way Obi-Wan had earlier. Except that Qui-Gon relied on pushing and supporting himself from the rear bulkhead, since he could not stand upright without hitting his head on something.

    "So, Commander Outsh was unhappy with us," Qui-Gon commented.

    "Yes. Very unhappy," he replied, nodding.

    "Not surprising given what we discovered," he went on, pushing out from the gray metaloid bulkhead and then back in toward it, his feet firmly planted at twice shoulder width.

    "What did we discover?" Obi-Wan asked, baffled.

    Qui-Gon turned his head, looking back at him. "What did we see?"

    "A small contingent of fighters and their base. Light equipment, speeders. No army."

    "That appear to be armed for only bandits," Qui-Gon finished, pushing back from the bulkhead again. Then one arm supporting him, he stretched the other behind his back.

    "Then why would they attack us? Take our equipment and claim that the bandits attacked us when they collaborated to drug us and removed us from the crater? It might make sense if one or the other side wished to conceal what we found. But why both?"

    Qui-Gon turned around, bent at the knees and slowly squatted downward with the sound of joints cracking, arms out at his sides. He had an annoyingly amused glint in his eyes.

    "You did review all of the background material in our mission briefing, Obi-Wan?"

    He nodded vigorously. "Yes, of course."

    "You are aware of the details of the long-standing political conflicts between the Pazash and Tash-Pazash?"

    "Yes. But I don't see how that is relevant to what we saw."

    Pushing up to almost standing, Qui-Gon slowly shook his head. Then he descended again, arms still out.

    "I know you disdain politics, Obi-Wan. For good reason. But do not let your disdain for petty conflict lead you to ignore the details. To see the motives of those behind them."

    Obi-Wan opened his mouth to ask more, but the navi-comp bleeped for attention. They both went forward and took their seats. They both checked their pos
  14. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    I'm crazy - I could have SWORN you said this would be in 10 parts, hence my comment on the quick "escape."

    Hiding peace...indeed.
  15. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Great story and peace indeed. There are many ways to remain peaceful
  16. Seremela Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 2008
    star 3
    Missed this at first!

    Great descriptions once again, Anne. Obi-Wan in the fog, the Pashaz and Tash-Pazash emerging with the two Jedi, Qui-Gon's awakening.... And I loved the politics angle of this one.

  17. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot: Sorry about the misunderstanding. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan did get away quick, but they've been through a lot. Weird that they would hide peace, but politics makes the strangest things seem sensible. Thanks for the replies!

    earlybird-obi-wan: Thank-you! [face_peace]

    Seremela: The descriptions all come form a real foggy day. Fog can be so mysterious, depending on what you put into it. Thanks for reading!

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