The Four Horsemen of the Fatpocalypse

Discussion in 'Archive: Your Jedi Council Community' started by Jabbadabbado, Feb 7, 2012.

  1. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    White Horse - Pizza

    -3 billion pizzas are sold in the U.S. every year
    -The average family eats pizza 30 times a year
    -Americans consume 100 acres of pizza a year, or 57 square miles
    -Americans consume half of the world?s pizza

    Red Horse - Soda

    -soft drinks alone contribute more than seven percent of total caloric intake in the average U.S. diet
    -Americans drink an average of more than 50 gallons of soda per person per year

    Black Horse - French Fries

    -Americans eat an average of 29 lbs of french fries a year
    -90% of french fries are sold in fast food restaurants

    Pale Horse - Ice Cream

    -24 lbs of ice cream per person per year

    Other horses that win, place or show:

    -donuts and pastries!
    -chicken nuggets
    -cheese

    No need for Mayan doomsdays with the fatpocalypse already here.
  2. Mortimer_Snerd Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    Soda (or "pop" to you culturally backward people from Illinois) is easily the worst. Whenever somebody mentions soda machines in schools I cringe a little. I also believe that French Fries, while bad for you of course, can be somewhat of a lesser evil when one opts for the bottled water that can be substituted for soda on your average fast food value menu. The corn syrup in soda is so abundant that it actually inhibits your body's natural ability to effectively digest all the fat and empty carbs you're getting in your meal.

    If you're gonna eat delicious horrible fast food, at least forego the soda.

    Baby steps, Amurrrca...

  3. Lady_Sami_J_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2002
    star 6
    All I have to say about this is: "What did mothers do before fast food restaurants? They cooked!"

    Of course, hamburger helper may be just as bad as pizza/soda.
  4. New_York_Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 16, 2002
    star 6
    Pizza is the one that is going to get me. There is never a time beer and pizza doesn't sound like a great idea.
  5. Darth-Lando Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2002
    star 6
    This is why we need a "Like" button.
  6. tom Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
  7. Aytee-Aytee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2008
    star 5
  8. Whitey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 26, 2003
    star 6
  9. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    Nugget technology continues to progress by leaps and bounds in the fast food industry. The trick is to replace as much of the underlying food as possible with more batter/breading.

    Hence McDonald's new McBites. The lure is "chicken breast meat" but the reality is more of the deep fried batter, and less chicken. I sense that the holy grail of the industry is a box of deep fried batter chunks sprayed with some kind of chicken flavoring.

    Or better yet, a flavorless batter nugget that can be repurposed for any meal with a spray-on flavor or dipping sauce: pancake-flavored nuggets with maple syrup-flavored dipping sauce. Apple pie flavored nuggets with vanilla-caramel flavored dipping sauce. The secret: one nugget to rule them all.

    But until that glorious day, the McBite comes commendably close. The old Chicken Nugget, or "Chicken Nugget Classic" if you will, is exposed as an embarrassment of surplus chicken, an unwarranted and unnecessarily opulent protein jackpot.

    Also, I think there's a huge opportunity for a fast food restaurant that sells boxes of battered, deep fried pizza nuggets.

    Many years ago there was an effort to market the deep fried cheeseburger nugget, but it never really caught on. Hard to guess why. The deep fried cheeseburger as a whole, however, seems to have found a niche.
  10. Kiki-Gonn Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 26, 2001
    star 6
  11. nostalgia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 6, 2011
    star 2
    All of those things are available at your average buffet. Looks like it's time to visit the buffet.
  12. VadersLaMent Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Apr 3, 2002
    star 9
    What about beer? The anti-christ?

  13. SithLordDarthRichie London CR

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2003
    star 8
    Deep fried food is undoubtedly popular.

    I think we should go down the Uncle Moe route and deep fry everything.


    "Now that's Moe like it"
  14. epic Ex Mod / RSA

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 1999
    star 7
    i think the key thing to fatdom is snacking. fatties are snacking all damn day. if you stick to breakfast, lunch and dinner, and cut out the random, unnecessary **** inbetween, you shouldn't put on weight. end of story.
  15. SithLordDarthRichie London CR

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2003
    star 8
    You still sort of, you know, need a balanced diet too.
    You can't just eat fast food every day and not gain weight (unless you burn calories at Michael Phelps rate), even if you stick to the 3 meals a day system.
  16. epic Ex Mod / RSA

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 1999
    star 7
    sure, but let's say you use up 500 calories at breakfast. if you didn't eat anything else all day bar lunch and dinner, that's 1000 calories per meal. that's ****loads. that's a KFC for lunch and a pizza for dinner, for example.

    obv this is reliant on using up 2500 calories worth of energy, and obv eating well has additional nutritional benefits besides not putting on weight, and obv you couldn't just keep eating fast food forever, but just sayin'
  17. tom Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    we should get pizza
  18. duende Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2006
    star 5
    let's get some of that white horse pizza!
  19. Evil_King_Wiggins Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2003
    star 6
    TIL that I am not an average American. But I also learned that I could die happy if I was one.

    Evil.
  20. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    The calorie bomb of American pizza comes from the cheese. An authentic pizza margherita is dotted with modest lumps of buffalo mozzarella, not buried ankle deep in that fake shredded crap.
  21. Katya Jade Administrator Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2002
    star 7
    Where do Hot Pockets rate on the Fatpocalypse scale?
  22. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
  23. Mortimer_Snerd Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    An extreme form of self-gratification in Alabama.

  24. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    Ok, I image-Googled Hot Pockets. So, hopefully I'm getting this right, it's a pepperoni-stuffed Pop Tart?
  25. Aytee-Aytee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2008
    star 5
    They also have breakfast ones with bacon, egg and cheese.

    And are known for royally messing with your digestive tract.