The Funny Pages

Discussion in 'Inland Empire CA' started by AboutaSith, Mar 30, 2006.

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  1. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
    Darth Doolittle

    :D I entered this weeks caption contest. Never knew they had this.
  2. jedifan77 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2006
    star 5
    Does anybody note a familiar name on this list?
  3. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
    Constantine!!! Isn't that the guy from American Idol a couple of seasons ago?!? :p
  4. jedifan77 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2006
    star 5
  5. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
    I too hope to see my name under this week's caption!

    How many times you had your name displayed there?
  6. jedifan77 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2006
    star 5
    Only once. I've entered captions 5 or 6 times.
  7. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
    Here's hoping my entry for this week makes it!
  8. Darth_Haggis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2002
    star 4
    In the years, and years that they've been doing the caption contest, it got to the point where it was more entertaining reading everyone else's winning caption than trying to come up with my own. (Although, I've submitted a few good ones...) ;)
  9. jedifan77 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2006
    star 5
    DH, you're way too young to be using phrases such as "years and years ago"
  10. Darth_Haggis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2002
    star 4
    How about "a long time ago"? I was on the StarWars.com boards before they started doing the contest back in 2000, why can't I use that phrase? ;) It was before most other people... :p
  11. jedifan77 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2006
    star 5
    I guess it's a matter of perspective. Years and years ago you were in diapers and I was graduating from high school. ;)
  12. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
  13. Darth_Haggis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2002
    star 4
    Sweet! :D

    Grrrr! :mad: OPPM Strikes again!
  14. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
    [image=http://alzmedia.com/images/funny/0220.jpg]
  15. Darth_Haggis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2002
    star 4
  16. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
    In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.

    It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia.

    Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.

    In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits.

    In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts.

    In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours.

    In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset.

    In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday.

    In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed.

    In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman.

    French Lick Springs, Indiana, once passed a law requiring all black cats to wear bells on Friday the 13th.

    Madison, Wisconsin, will not allow joint custody of a family pet when a couple divorces - the animal is legally awarded to whoever happens to have possession of it at the time of the initial separation.

    Dogs in Foxpoint, Wisconsin, may not bark profusely, snarl, or make any menacing gestures.

    In Texas, it's illegal to put graffiti on someone else's cow.

    It is illegal to ride a mule down Lang, Kansas' Main Street in August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.

    Over in Berea, Kentucky and also in Willamantic, Connecticut, horses are not allowed out on the streets and highways at night unless the animal has a "bright" red taillight securely attached to its rump.

    Horses may not wear cowbells inside the city limits of Tahoe City, California.

    In Washington, though, every cow wandering the streets of Seattle must be wearing a cowbell.

    In Burns, Oregon, horses are allowed in the town's taverns, if an admission fee is paid before they enter.

    You can't blow your nose in public places in Leahy, Washington, because it might scare a horse and cause it to panic.

    In Wanassa, New Jersey, a dog is breaking the law if it is heard to be "crying."
  17. delta_1138 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2006
    star 3
    In some place in Kansas it's illegal for monsters to be inside city limits.
  18. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
    Yes, it's that time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least-evolved among us. Here're the glorious runners-up.

    1. When his .38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

    And now for the honourable mentions:
    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
    insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast .. The man, frustrated, walked away.

    AND THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
  19. jedifan77 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2006
    star 5
    Gee, it's seems that only men win this "award".

    'nough said! [face_mischief]
  20. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
    Looks like it for this year! I've seen women win it before though. Looks as though the women learn from others mistakes where as these guys just didn't bother.
  21. jedifan77 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2006
    star 5
    Honestly, guys tend to be more stupid in that area. Women can be stupid in others.
  22. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
    Stole this from the SD Boards.

    These guys are nuts!

    [image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v213/ArvinGirl/jedisquirrels.jpg]
  23. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
  24. AboutaSith Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2005
    star 5
  25. jedifan77 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2006
    star 5
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