Reference The Game Designer's Group

More detailed commentary tomorrow, but I've got to ask: what did you use to come up with a map that looks that good? Did you manage to actually find a decent program to use, or is it a hand-drawn thing? I've been looking for a good one for years.

 

Hand drawn. I lost the program I used to use to make them, so this one isn't quite up to my usual, but it's close. Just me, my imagination, and paint.net.

I have grown quite fond of making them, and I think I do them pretty well. I can always make one up for ya too if ya need. But, I'm glad you like it.

EDIT: epic fail typos for the win....

 

Nah, I go through them far too often. Hence my need for a program to speed up the process.

 

Hm...I may need a map for Outrageous Fortune...

 

Matt, if you need one, just let me know. All I need is a general idea of what you want and what you want it to look like.

Alright, here is an annotated version of the descriptions. Not as in depth as I would like, but should be more manageable. Ramz mentioned something about a library thread, so when I open the game, I'll probably have to look into that.



The Talahmran

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The Elemental Reaches

The Elemental Reaches are home to the Elemental Sages. It is a wild, untamed land, where the earth is allowed to flourish as it will. It has four general regions that suit the individual Elemental Sages and their preferences. As a note, some of the finest smiths come from this land.

The region is dominated in the south by rolling, hilly plains, and in the north by a massive mountain range which extends to the northern coast.

The architecture is rather simple and made from stone almost exclusively. There are four major cities which have large populations, but otherwise the Sages live in small towns and homesteads dotting the countryside. The cities are as follows.

Bevardis, the captial. Burning Soul. The home of the Fire Sages. The High Reach, where the Wind Sages reside. The Stone Ward, in which the Earth Sages reside. Flowing Song, home of the Water Sages.


The Green Wood

Along the western and southern reaches of the continent is an ancient, massive forest, divided in two by a mighty river, the Eversong. To the north of that river lies the Green Wood, home of the Forest Children. It is an uncivilized wood. Once, it had mighty cities of men within its boundaries, but they have long since fallen into ruin. The Forest Children only have one city, and that is not horribly populated. They are wanderers, nomads who live for a time in hollows, caverns, and temporary structures they fashion from fallen limbs before they move on to the next. They are flighty individuals and do not make roads through the Wood. Like the cities, many of the roads have been reclaimed by the forest, though some still remain, traveled on occasion by merchants and the like.

The Green Wood was once an extraordinary place, filled with blossoms and animals of the most vibrant and beautiful sort, though before the time of Avanir the buds of the forest grew scarcer and scarcer, and now can only be found in few places. The trees, however, grow strong and tall, though the canopy is not particularly dense. It is a very quiet, serene wood. Even the animals seem to respect the hush of the forest.

The Green Wood is well known for some of the natural artwork that leaves its protective canopy, as well as certain narcotics that are highly valued in other lands.


The Lower Forests of Feral Men

South of the Eversong River lies the Lower Forests of the Feral Men. It is a pine forest. Its trees grow thick canopies, making the forest much darker than its northern sister. It is an ancient, mystic forest, filled with strange sounds. Myth and legend tell of the haunting of the forest, though in truth it is simply the eerie surroundings. The ruins dotting the forest of long-dead cities adds to the ambiance. As the name implies, this forest is home to the Feral Men. The forest is divided into three regions. While the different species of Feral Men are not particularly fond of each other, they allow passage more or less freely through the wood.

The Feral Men do not have grand cities, but instead a few smaller, sprawling tribal villages where they gather in times of crisis or during festivities. Other than that, they live in small villages or live a nomadic lifestyle, always with their families though.

The Feral Men society operates under a clan system. There are several families that hold authority over a certain group of Feral Men, and their word is law until they are challenged and defeated. The varying clans are often at odds with each other. The larger clans have villages where they have settled, while smaller cla

 

Okay, so, thoughts: I don't think you've got too much information there. Any less and it'd give the players problems when creating their characters.

Setting aside the general premise, there are a bunch of little things I'd like to comment on. Will be somewhat rambling, and these are just recommendations based on what I've read. You may have already taken them into consideration.

For variety (and so there's only one with a threatening, militaristic sounding name), I'd recommend changing the name of either the Imperium or the Empire (perhaps swap the two and rename Frederick's country). Principality, Grand Duchy, Regency, Union, plenty of other good options to choose from. Since there's a "Kingdom", I'd use something like "realm" in place of the next "kingdom", as well.

If the Forest Children aren't meant to be entirely human, I'd suggest a more exotic naming scheme, possibly derived from the scientific classification of plants or something similarly unique (Quercus or Salix, for example).

Gray and white seem a little close together as colors for the Elemental Sages: unless there's supposed to be a connection there, perhaps something more...colorful would be appropriate?

Flowing Song: I don't know what you've got planned for this now, but I'd suggest either moving it to one of the spots where two rivers intersect, or making it a floating city of sorts (a lot of boats, maybe). Would make it feel more connected to its element, and a more interesting location to visit (and the same could be said for the others, as well).

Banking Clans: I'd replace this with guilds, or financial conglomerates, or something similar. Doesn't really make for a proper title (and clans are already used by the Feral Men), unless you've already got their role and system planned out.

 

All very good, Loyal_Imp, and many that I didn't consider. I certainly will though.

Honestly, this is not the most developed world I've made--yet--so stuff like this is beautiful for ya to point out. I do appreciate it, and I'll probably take all of your suggestions into account and work them in.

Just saying, mostly, that I do not, in the least bit, mind these sorts of little things being pointed out.

 

I just have one little nitpick.

When it comes to the transforming its a little vague as you mention that elementals go with their elements, blindseers gain a form of sight, but humanity is the only one able to shapeshift - does this humanity include the plant and feral offshoots? Or possibly is humanity the only one with a freedom of shapeshifting whilst the plant beings might be limited to vegetation forms and their animal, and the ferals are limited to their physical animal and their internal animal.

 

Hmm... valid questions. Sadly, there was a LOT that I just couldn't include. There'd just be way too much. A lot of the magic was a part of that, which is why no one can start as a Spell Song up front, in all honesty, and why a library thread, if possible, would be beautiful.

However, to answer your questions, the initial idea was that, aside from the Sage's abilities to shapeshift or what have you, only plain, stock humans could shapeshift into an animal, and then only their own inner animal. I have toyed with the idea of giving the other races something similar as well, but haven't decided yet. If you feel I should, feel free to say so.

All in all, this was a very rough OP that I put out here to get some advice on. There was a lot of information that I just could not put in, and I am trying to figure out what needs to stay, what needs to go, and what ne3eds to be added, amongst other things.

 

There are actually no minimum requirements for a library thread aside from having a game, so yes, that is an option you have at your disposal.

 

Well, we got certainly a fantasy loving crowd around here, do we? My critic in my usual format. I will keep this one shorter, not because of time issues, but because I feel this one comes down to two points. A good and a bad one . . .

The Good: The world is colourful and engaging. The map is great, the ideas in there familiar and fresh enough to make me wish to play in it. The amount of detail is surely a question of taste, but the quantity of races and areas makes it an interesting world in any way.

The Bad: The same I cannot say of the story. Everybody looks for a Ring of Power? Hell I heard this one before, somewhere. And it rips me right out of the OP, you know? I immediately see New Zealand and a flaming eye before me. Can´t help it. That is something you shold reconsider, truly. This way I feel it got a strange Lord of the Rings AU character imported into your world which really takes the edge out of the OP.

The Ugly: I agree with TLI. An Empire is probably not a good word for a realm on a SW board.

 

Alright, it's been seven days. Spycoder9 is now free to post, has been PMed to that effect, and has three days to do so. Until then, final thoughts on Chuks' game are welcome. The updated list:

Updated Roster

1. Spycoder (drama)
2. LordTroepfchen (probably never happening project)

 

Updated Roster

1. Spycoder (drama)
2. LordTroepfchen (probably never happening project)
3. Lukes_Apprentice (Star Wars special Ops/Mission Impossible project)

Yes I'm adding my name to roster

 

Tack me on the end of the list for the moment. I have an almost completed OP, but I am on the wrong computer at the moment, and my weekend is going to be very busy. So, my drama will come after Luke's OP. Passing the ball to LordT!

 

Alright then! LordT is now up, and has three days to post, yadda yadda didn't I just do this?

Updated Roster

1. LordTroepfchen (probably never happening project)
2. Lukes_Apprentice (Star Wars special Ops/Mission Impossible project)
3. Spycoder (drama)

 

I will take a moment to thank you all for your comments. They were all, as always, helpful and will be taken into account. Some of it I figured (Such as the Lord of the Rings comment. I actually did realize that..... albeit after I posted this OP ) and some of it was fresh and extremely thought provoking. I'll be reworking the post and fleshing out the world, and hopefully will get it tacked back up here for a round two in the not too distant future. Thank you again all.

Now, onto the next game.

 

Darthramza If LordT is n't ready i"m not exactly ready either I have prettygood idea What I'm going to write for the most part I just need two days To Perfect it and get the appropriate images .

 

In that case - considering you seem to be eager to get your game made and I won´t play mine anytime soon I don´t mind if we switch. Mine actually needs to be found and while I am certain I can do that in three days . . . I really am in no rush. So it is your GDG, LA.

Updated Roster

1. Lukes_Apprentice (Star Wars special Ops/Mission Impossible project)
2. LordTroepfchen (Project Horizon)
3. Spycoder (drama)

 

We'll consider it fastest draw on the list, then. First OP up from those three claims the week.

Until then, just assume this is playing in the background while all three GMs square off.

 

Or imagine this playing in the background

 

Nothing like pressure guys I've definately polished my op and unless something crazy happens I'll be realesing my game tommarow. I wnat to work on the grammer and make sure it reads well. .

 

Haha, no pressure is intended - Ramza and I are in agreement that we want the GDG running like a well-oiled machine, though. We're just trying to keep it going at a good pace.

 

Yeah, don't think of it as pressure, think of it as "You've already got a spot, but maybe now you'll go earlier." You will absolutely get your turn within the next three weeks no matter what.

 

We´re among friends here LA. If you got some spelling more than a side-sentence (check your spelling) included in the critique won´t happen. If you wanna make it better though and need more time tell me and I draw first. Mine is ready and waiting . . . I just gave you the first shot because I thought you were closer to launching it. If you prefer me to go up first, shoot me a PM.

 

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Alliance Special Operations (1 ABY Non Canon)

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[color=orange]~~~~~~Introduction~~~~~~~[/color]

Star Wars: Alliance Special Operations. This is combined operation squad RPG this means it has army and star fighters working together.
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[color=orange]~~~~~~Story~~~~~~[/color]

The rebellion was born of fire rid the galaxy of the emperor and his cronies and to bring back the freedom they had lost. The Rebel Alliance had yet to obtain total victory but at the Battle of Yavin they proven their worth to galaxy. Against steep odds they had pulled of victory. The victory had resulted in two things the empire chased them across the galaxy and an influx of talented recruits willing to take on the Galactic Empire. It was only a matter of time before they achieved a major breakthrough. They need to bring new ideas and new methods of battle to the struggle for freedom. Then Admiral Ackbar had the idea of creating a special operations group so secret only Admiral Akbar and the Head of State Mon Mothma knew about it.
Cloaked in secrecy the most promising candidates for this new endeavor were ordered to report to Home One among them veterans, allies, defectors, and others. Admimiral Akbar standing in the meeting area hushed the crowd and all sat looking at each other as if to size up the competition. The admiral gave a signal as the doors were locked.
[image=http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/c/c4/Yavin_base_briefing_room.jpg]
Admiral Akbar took in breath and said, [color=green][i]?Welcome aboard to Home One,?[/i][/color] Ackbar breathed labored as if weight was on his chest and continued, [color=green][i]?The reason you have been gathered here is for one purpose to further our struggle against the Empire. You are all candidates for spots on new venture what this is will be revealed to you in due time.?[/i][/color] The admiral paused to breathe again and scan the room and said, [color=green][i]?The person charge of this group will be Colonel Martin Taller. ?[/i][/color]

Colonel Taller stood and moved to the center of the room as the admiral took his seat. Colonel Taller said,[i] ?This is not going to be easy we have long ride ahead of us if you have any doubts about being here then I suggest you leave now.?[/i] The Colonel scanned the room with his piercing green eyes and looked at each one. Colonel taller smiled when no one left the room.
Colonel Taller continued,[i]?We will be shipping out in three hours I want you all back prepped and ready to go any stragglers will be left aboard Home One. We will be shipping out to an undisclosed location for training and final selection of candidates. I will accept nothing less than the best of the best. I suggest you come prepared to work hard. Good luck, Company dismissed.?[/i]
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[color=orange]~~~~~~Character Sheet~~~~~~[/color]
Name:
Gender:
Age:
Species:
Branch: (Army or Starfighter)
Homeworld:
Personality
---Traits:
---Likes:
---Dislikes:
---Habits:
Appearance
---Skin Color:
---Hair Color:
---Eye Color:
---Clothing:
---Other Attributes:
---Other Details:
Weapons:
Starship (these are assigned to personnel and army will have a transport ship)
The Force (No force users please)
Biography
---Personal History:
---Military History:
---Traumatic Experiances:
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[color=orange]~~~~~~RULES~~~~~~[/color]
1) No God-moding
2) All character sheets must be submitted to the GM for approval via PM ? No exceptions

3) All major character storylines (storylines that would change the direction of a mission, goal, or the game in a direct manner) must be approved throu