So, I found time during my nightshift to have a look . . . The Good: Nice pictures, the idea of a "Wraith Squadron" game is interesting enough. The whole "editing" is good and it looks very neat. As I will tell you in a second, I feel it is too little OP in your OP, but what is there is good. The Bad: Well, where is the abstract text explaining what I am about to play? Where is the character section where you wet my mouth about potential characters? where is the hint to the plot? what will it be about? I mean, a special forces team. A forbidden romance? A traitor hunt? Black Ops? major battles? Action? Adventure? I only know because I have seen your last draft. The CS with the huge personality subsection is a bit old fashioned. I said it before, I say it again. I personally (and I know a few players share this view) hate personality sections. As you scare away all those players, I advise not to include it. And how shall I write up my military history if you assign me the rank (as you say in the rules)? What´s wrong with Name, Appearance, Species, Bio? I think the easier the CS the better to attract players. the honey will come in the bios or not at all, anyway. The Ugly: Rules and Cs longer than the story? Not good. And the rules are too talky and your "sources of inspiration" seems a bit uncommon. It is a bit more display of your ideas and though porcesses than anything that brings the game forward. Same goes for rules. Keep them short and don´t put stuff into it, that is common sense around here. O also do not know how military ranks get assigned by you shall work? I cannot create commanding officer? Or a grunt? Or a rookie? Major htanks can really be brought up once you do your final post. NOT in an OP. Again, it looks a bit more as if you were speaking your midn then saying something about the game. On a minor note, you forgot to include godmodding. as there are games who actually allow godmodding, I storngly advise to clearify that. All in all, I think my major concern is, that the short intro you got there will not attract players. Look at other games and to what length they go to make their world attractive to players. Those games will be your rival on the "player-market". Keep that in mind.