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Reference The Game Designer's Group

Discussion in 'Role Playing Resource' started by Imperial_Hammer, Oct 22, 2009.

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  1. Penguinator RPF Modinator and Batmanager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    star 6
    I won't dance around it - yes, I'll admit it looks similar to Embrace.

    I didn't rip it off, though, and it isn't a NSW version of the game. This game has been kicking around my skull for at least six months, and when writing it up I did remember Embrace was out there.

    However, that being said, I'd rather discuss my game on it's own merits instead of comparing it to another game, for obvious reasons. :p
  2. LordTroepfchen Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2007
    star 4
    Okay, as I was PMed about it a lot and feel some people got the need to discuss that resemblances I just thought I´d give it a quick comment. As Fin and Peng pointed out, the similiarities between mine and his are there. But I actually see no problem at all. Peng won´t have a problem to get a completely new crew of players for it and I think my game had so much room for advancment! I am happy someone does a "one survivor"-plot again.
    Hopefully you will be artistic more successful than I was, Penguinator! And if I got time (which is a big IF) I would surely try to join it.

    Before anybody wants to get this discussion any further I want to confess I stole that idea from another board. So nobody needs to protect my idea here, okay? Together with the Embrace sequel spooking around since the Summer Challenge, we might simply see a new tradition of games develop here. I like that.


    Now, to the game itself.


    I agree with Fin´s point, that the nature of the Space Station is a little tooooo confusing. But there should probably not be said more than one sentence about it. Add something like "that was created as a reaction to the finnish-moose-alien-hybrids landing in London" to give us some idea what the purpose and history of it is. That would make it easier to relate to it.

    Otherwise I think "player-choosing" is essential. These games gain attention and the player cap can be a curse and blessing. Get ready to deal with that limitation. Also such a game cannot add players after it´s start. That is a challenge in itself. The limits of the game, how long it is meant to be might also be a useful information.

    I like the intro as it is. No need to cut it into one, I think. I read it and it got me hooked. The pictures are good. I actually think you could find a nicer one for the Interrogation Room.

    My first impressions. The plot is unknown, so nothing I can say there.

    />
  3. HairyWookiee12 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 2009
    star 2
    Sense I feel as though I have made my way through the RP forums somewhat well and seated myself at a good spot, I have to ask everyone here at The Game Designer's Group if you would be interested in a Allegiance(A stormtrooper novel by Timothy Zahn) sequel RP. Now if you have not read the book yourself, the concept of the main plot is simple. A group of rouge troopers that are wanted for murder of their captain. The book is centered around four stormtroopers in a Clone division called The Hand of Judgement, all that info on the book I have stated is not relevant to the RP I am making, but the book is important to my RP. The title of my RP is The 603rd - Legion of Thunder, the RP follows the life and times of a imperial stormtrooper resistance. In the RP you going through the end of the Clone Wars(When Order 66 was enacted, around 21 BBY I believe) to 6 ABY(The end of the Galactic Civil War). The group(The non-canon and fictional 603rd) is just a handful of clones with a bad opinion about the Imperials. The division was formed by two troopers, Clone Commander Sharp and Sargent Tye. Be expecting more on the game soon.
  4. Ramza JC Head Admin and RPF Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2008
    star 7
    That'd be a capital post for the Interest thread, the GDG is more concerned with evaluating finished and rough draft quality products. That said, I'd be interested in evaluating the OP when it's posted here as I'm an unashamed Zahn fanboy. :p

    On the subject at hand - Peng, the game looks great. Other than elaborating the details of the space station and its purpose somewhat (Which didn't initially occur to me, but Fins and LordT made a valid point so I find myself in agreement with them), I don't think I would change a thing.
  5. DarkLordoftheFins Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2007
    star 4
    Your humbleness in honors, LordT but you had a difficult time to play in, ended that game, won an award and at least for me I must say had a very entertaining and creepy game. Maybe cut to short by the loss of players to slaughter . . . but it was a good game.

    Now, something that is a problem with these games. I think we could learn some lesson there from Embrace. Leaving players cannot be replaced, as the stations in both games are isolated. So you got hell of a lot of reliable players. Or you replace players taking over the roles of others (that needs a strong lurker base). Or you begin NPCing them. Which might sound as little problem BUT if a mass vanishing like last Summer happens, that suddenly cripples the game quite a bit.

    So, the criteria of choosing players should be reliability. And you should give players a clear idea how long you plan to run this game.
  6. HairyWookiee12 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 2009
    star 2
    Here you go DarthRamza

    Alliegance Sequel RP - Legion of Thunder

    327th Star Corps - Planet: Felucia
    About to enact Order 66

    Sargent Tye had just received Order 66, he had to execute Aayla Secura. One the Emperor's member of "Palpatine's Secret Army" had come to oversee the event that was about to take place. Somehow the Galactic Republic had known about the soon slaughter of the whole jedi order. The man was there to partly oversee the 327th division's actions. Tye always hated being watched by other clone comrades.... He felt strange, like he has today. They all started to walk quickly over to Aayla, and raised there guns.

    Tye then saw the next moment about to take place, a very lovely low-flying bird was passing by, Aayla went out to try and touch it. Boom, the first shot sprang out just like that and then was a blue field of them all. Secura tried to block the first few, but the traders got the best of her. Blue lasers rained over her and caused some bloody hell. Once the blasts were over Tye managed to walk over to the "Shock Trooper" and tried asked him one simple and small question....

    ?Why?? The word had been echoing in his head awhile, ?Why did we do it?" that was the only word that managed to come out....


    9th Assault Corps - Planet: Kashyyyk
    Straight before Order 66

    Clone Commando Sharp was just there at the abnormal planet to provide backup support for the many clones at the planet. Sharp had a strange liking for Wookiees, their cultures and such.
    Sharp was eying the two other commandos, Gree and Deviss I think it was, they we helping Yoda or something like that. He had a very funny feeling that something bad was going to happen next. Hhhmmmmmmmmm.... he thought. Suddenly a broadcast came over all the clone comlinks to execute "Order 66".... Sharp thought to himself, Wait, we can't... he then saw Gree and the other guy started to creep towards Yoda. Sharp never saw what happened next, for he ran like hell to the nearest safe spot off of the balcony he was on....

    Rules and Info

    This RP will contain a few pre-battles, stories and such, before the game will actually start at 1 BBY, The RP is actually about the travel of a clone trooper division called the 603rd and will pretty much be sequel to Alliegance by Timothy Zahn.

    The Rules:
    1. No GODmodding
    2. Please PM all CS to me, HairyWookiee12
    3. Do not post any unaccepted CS on this thread, for it will be ignored
    4. Please have fun


    Sorry, will post the actually CS later on today or tomorrow morning />/>/>
  7. BobaMatt TFN EU Staff

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Aug 19, 2002
    star 6
    You asked once why your games weren't successful, and one thing no one mentioned is that the OPs you turn out are consistently, well, really sloppy. I've worked as a writing tutor in the past, and frankly the quality of the writing in the OP is a huge factor in attracting players.
    Right off the bat, I'm not sure labeling it "Allegiance Sequel RP" is a great idea. Allegiance 2, Allegiance: Legion of Thunder, Legion of Thunder: an Allegiance RP...is the word "sequel" used in the title of any sequels you know?
    Simplify. "Sergeant Tye had just received the order to execute..." or either add a period between the two or a semicolon.
    I like that you don't go into an explanation here of what the Secret Army is, but I would expect you to explain later on in the OP. It's an interesting sounding faction, but...
    The word "soon" can't be used this way. "Jedi Order" would be capitalized, as its a proper noun.

    More importantly, why did you mention the Emperor if we're still dealing with the Republic? And of course the Republic knew "somehow," they perpetrated it.
    Again, it's cool that you're revealing this Secret Army to us this way.
    I imagine there's a more compelling way to talk about this.
    Confusing. How did he see something that did not yet take place?
    Who all? All the shots?
    I assume you mean "traitors."
    Sounds like a soccer riot.
    "Why did we do it?" is five words.

    The second part has similar problems.
    If the game takes place in 1 BBY, why does the opening post only detail things that occured in 19 BBY?

    Really, Hairy, I love your enthusiasm, and I think if you put more effort into grammar and clarity, you'd do much better. It's important that your OP have polish.


    />
  8. Penguinator RPF Modinator and Batmanager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    star 6
    As Matt said, enthusiasm is wonderful - but you need polish.

    Personally, I think your game has plenty of potential - just as much as any other game. However, I find the spelling errors and grammatical issues distracting, and it makes your game less accessible. For example, your short blurb on Yoda starts off well, but then you throw in an "I think" after your other paragraph has set this up as a third person narrative. The fact then that it isn't Sharp that is fuzzy on the details, but you the GM, is a bit disheartening from a player's perspective.

  9. HairyWookiee12 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 2009
    star 2
    Allegiance RP: Legion of Thunder

    The Second Galactic Civil War, Planet: Kashyyyk, Year: 0.6 ABY

    The small group of troopers grazed the surface of the grassy planet. They had been at the planet for a distress signal had been called out. They passed through the large section of over-grown trees, walking with agility and stealth. Moving with some speed, the Sergeant of the group ordered them all to halt. For precisely two seconds he gazed at trees and bushes, there was nothing in sight.

    ?Move out.? the Sergeant called out simply. They had walked at least mile from where they were attacked by the savages. The Wookiees of east Kashyyyk brutally punched and stabbed them with spears and other native weapons?. The Sergeant then got on his comlink and called to a Imperial Starship.

    ?Starship Baritone when will that ground support be here? We have already been attacked! We need that support!? There was no response from the ship, only static?. ?Again, when will you get that ground support down here?? He asked once again, but only silence at the ship. Then he saw it, a huge explosion that belonged to Starship Baritone high up within the atmosphere. He saw parts of the ship start to rain down in a fiery pour. But then, a little cargo-ship came flying out from the ruins of the old starship, it seemed to be trying to escape massive explosion. ?Why god damn! That?s the Millennium Falcon! How do they blow up a freakin? starship!? The sergeant screamed.

    Inside the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon

    In the small cargo-ship there was woops, hollers, and grunts from the two space pirates/rebels ?Well Chewie, that was a great run now lets get this baby outta? here! Hit it Chewbacca!!? Han yelled over the side of his shoulder. Chewie then reached over to the hyper drive switch to his right. When Chewie pulled the red switch there was a unsatisfying clank and a grinding of gears?

    Han then yelled, ?Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! What the hell, the hyper drive is out again? This is the second time this week! Chewie, me and you lets go check it out??

    The Second Galactic Civil War, At the east side of Kashyyyk, Year: 0.6 ABY

    Commander Sharp of the 603rd was hiding in the thick bushes behind the small village of Wookiees. He had made a deal with the Wookiees, if they hid him while the stormtroopers that the imperials had sent, he would help them join the rebellion. Commander Sharp got out of the bushes and started speak in Shryiiwook, ?Thank you guys a lot, the attack on them was necessary.... Again thank you. Now, you said you had a ship waiting for me?? there was a short pause then the lead Wookiee spoke, ?Yes, yes we do, but remember out little deal...? The wookiee said as the two of them walked to the X-Wing owned by the native Wookiees. The both got in and went off to Yavin 4, a planetary Rebel outpost?.
    The RP will follow the life and times of two Stormtroopers, Commander Sharp(He is currently working on Kashyyyk to build a GOOD cloning facility with his fellow Wookiee counterparts) and Sergeant Tye(Is currently with the 501st Legion of Stormtroopers). In this RP you will be able to create you own character(Stormtrooper, Bounty Hunter, Officer, ect.) and be able to join the Rebels, Imperials, or Neutral.

    Classes
    Clone trooper
    [image=http://fc04.deviantart.com/fs36/i/2008/259/7/3/ARC_clone_trooper___very_old_by_Sofie3387.jpg]

    Stormtrooper
    [image=http://www.steveconard.com/images/story/sandtrooper1.jpg]

    Imperial Commando
    [image=http://a893.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/14/l_d3baeabeaad8ec0f77ccffa3a413ca84.jpg]

    Bounty Hunter
    [image=http://www.starwarfigure.com/pics/JangoFett1.jpg]

    Officer
    [image=http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/b/ba/Nien_Nunb_-_SWGTCG.jpg]

    Medic
    [image=http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/b/b6/2-1B_negtd.jpg/200px-2-1B_negtd.jpg]

    Rebel Pilot
    [image=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Wedge_XWingSaga.jpg]

    Mandalorian Soldier

    [image=http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/d/d9/Death/>
  10. HairyWookiee12 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 2009
    star 2
    Sorry for double posting, I ran out of edit time for the OP....
  11. DarkLordoftheFins Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2007
    star 4
    That "one week" rule did not hold up long, did it? And discussing games here kind off becomes a mess gain . . .
  12. Akechi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 2, 2010
    [image=http://www.pnw4runners.com/pics/banhammer_forecast.gif]

    Offsite advertising is not allowed. :)

    -I_H
  13. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    So -- offsite spamvertisers have finally figured out how to click "Post Reply" rather than "Post New Topic", then?
  14. Akechi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 2, 2010
    [image=http://jasdemi.com/wp-content/uploads/banhammer1.jpg]

    Yah, offsite advertising is just not allowed. Its apart of our rules. You can advertising in your sig, but not in our threads. :)

    -I_H
  15. Kahn_Iceay Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2006
    star 5
    Regardless of how legit your 'awesome star wars RPG' is you are advertising. This is a violation of the Rules. Saint's accusation is quite on the level, he should know, He used to Mod the forum, and is widely respected. So, legitimate RPG or not, it is not your place to advertise it here within this forum.
  16. Akechi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Well then, could you kindly redirect me to Star Wars fans who would be interested?
  17. Sith-I-5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 14, 2002
    star 5
    If you want to roleplay here, and later host a game here, we can certainly help you out.

    If you want to roleplay/GM elsewhere, we are not really geared up for that. Sorry!
  18. Imperial_Hammer Manager Emeritus: RPFs

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2004
    star 5
    Yes.

    This is truth.

    Kindly please observe this threads queue rules.

    If new games are posted without using the queue, I will edit them out until their appropriate time. Peng's game has passed its week allotted time, and Hairywookie's will pass it tomorrow. The queue will be open again after this.

    -I_H

  19. Ramza JC Head Admin and RPF Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2008
    star 7
    I'm digging the edit images, Impy.
  20. SirakRomar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2007
    star 4
    So, is the GDG free? I would like to hear opinions about my very first attempt in game-designing . . .
  21. DarkLordoftheFins Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2007
    star 4
    I believe it is. Go ahead, Sirak.
  22. SirakRomar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2007
    star 4
    Dangerous Days
    A Blade Runner RPG



    Music


    From the pretext of Blade Runner (1982)


    Early in the 21st Century, THE TYRELL
    CORPORATION advanced Robot evolution
    into the NEXUS phase - a being virtually
    identical to a human - known as a Replicant.

    The NEXUS 6 Replicants were superior
    in strength and agility, and at least equal
    in intelligence, to the genetic engineers
    who created them.

    Replicants were used Off-world as
    slave labor, in the hazardous exploration and
    colonization of other planets.

    After a bloody mutiny by a NEXUS 6
    combat team in an Off-world colony,
    Replicants were declared illegal
    on earth - under penalty of death.

    Special police squads - BLADE RUNNER
    UNITS - had orders to shoot to kill, upon
    detection, any trespassing Replicant.

    This was not called execution.
    It was called retirement.




    The World

    Welcome to the rainy, dark, overpopulated world of Ridley Scott´s Blade Runner.

    In the year 2020, one year after the events of the motion picture, the world is still a dark, gloomy and very crowded place. Those who are healthy and wealthy enough join the new human societies in the off-world colonies. Those who remain on earth life in the endless multi-cultural sprawls of the giant cities where this game takes place.
    The continued abuse of nature has left earth covered in the grey of industrial smog and the constant sour rain of growing oceans. In this world humanity is a questionable authority. Giant coorportaion like the producer of the advanced Replicants Tyrell Coorporation hold great power and the police is in a constant fight to remain order through patrols and curfews. It is a hopeless world were everybody lifes for himself.

    [image=http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2010/027/d/0/Red_Light_District_by_MrCanavan.jpg]


    The Story

    This is not a sequel of the movie. It is another story in the Blade Runner universe borrowing elements and ideas from the film. It will nevertheless partially show what happened after the final moments of the movie. It is a personal story for each character. It is the story of hunters and hunted set in a dark future, where morality has become a slippery concept and violence is a gritty, painful flash of death easily forgotten or ignored.
    It is also a story in a world were things are no longer what they seem to be. Where everybody could be a replicant, but being a human isn´t necessary any better.

    [image=http://www.seanax.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/bladerunner.jpg]


    Playable Characters

    I have three basic playable classes. If someone thinks of anything else . . . private eye, genetic engeneer or anything, please contact me and I´ll see if it works out with the story.

    Blade Runner

    "Replicants are like any other machine - they're either a benefit or a hazard. If they're a benefit, it's not my problem."
    - Rick Deckard, Blade Runner, 2019

    The Blade Runner are experts in hunting and destroying replicants who are illegaly on earth. Weaponed with a license to kill any replicant they find and the Voightt-Kampf Test, a psychological test of questions and answers used to identify replicants, they are always in danger to "retire" a human by mistake. Especially as the Nexus 6-Replicants have become closer to humans as ever thought possible. Developing emotions in their short lifes. And distrubing rumors of Replicants with memories and special prgramms of the Tyrell Coorporation have found their ways to the streets. How could one distiguish a replicant who believes to be human from a normal person? A what makes him "not" human? The Blade Runners are left alone with these questions, as their superiors send them to hunt down their prey.

    Note: Dave Holden from the movie has (as deleted scenes show us) survived his encounter at Tyrell´s. He is available as a playable chara
  23. Sir_Draco Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 19, 2007
    star 4
    Well, I think it is an amatzing piece in grabbing the atmo of the movie. I´d love to play it. But seeing the reaction here . . . or to be more precise, the complete lack of . . . and considering his several high profile games around here did lately I´d say: Begin translating. Don´t waste it. [face_peace]

    I´ll be in it. But I am your brother and if I do not join, I won´t get that collector´s box for my birthday, I know.
  24. Penguinator RPF Modinator and Batmanager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    star 6
    To partly explain the lack of interest....it is mid-term exam time for some of us out here - and I must say, I love this game.
  25. DarkLordoftheFins Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2007
    star 4
    You mean Replicant becomes Replikant? Oh no, if this board has no interest, take it elsewhere, sirak. It´s a quality game, as I already mentioned in a more private circle. But please, please don´t do the awful German translation of it. PLEASE!

    Therefore, I think Blade Runner begins with a prologue. the only thing I miss in your OP is a scene. Something to set the mood. Something to get the FEEL of Blade Runner . . .
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