The Geriatric Ward: Episode V - The Enema Strikes Back

It?s Friday, it?s getting late, and I?m lazy. This is the 10th iteration of the Old Folk?s Home, so I'm sure you'll agree that it?s understandable that I?m tired. Therefore, I am dispensing with the usual pithy comments. If one of the current residents of the Ward want to whip up something, I?ll edit this initial post and add it in.

The following are the social forum requirements and method of inclusion (official inclusion, mind you ? it?s not like we kick out visitors, especially if you bring the old people candy).

1. Be at least of the age of 30. (Previous/current residents from 25-29 are ?grandfathered? in).
2. Be a like-minded individual - For the 24 and under crowd that feels old. You have extra chores to do, like rub bunions and get a job (like me).
3. You need to PM Otis_the_Orderly for a room. This is key, and not surprisingly is often overlooked by most people. I am the keymaster. I am the gatekeeper. If you want a lovely room number to toss into your signature or tattoo on your buttocks, you need to PM me. (And don't keep PM'ing me every half hour wondering when you get your room number - I have a life. I'll get around to it! Just don't get all excited and die from a heart attack waiting for it. Sheesh!!)
4. Oh, and you need to stay active, or I?ll assume that you?ve died of old age and will be unceremoniously discarded.


With that, here is the current room assignment.

TheMorgue ? The_Paul_Bearer
The Basement (Orderly Office) Otis_the_Orderly
Sanitation Dept. - Ward Sanitation Engineer ? Position Open!

The barely breathing
Drawer ? Geriatric
1 ? **vacant**
2 ? **vacant**
3 ? **vacant**
4 ? **vacant**
5 ? **vacant**

1st Floor - East Wing - Administrative Offices and Cafeteria
1st Floor - West Wing - Recreation Room and Physical Therapy

2nd Floor - East Wing
Room ? Geriatric
Physical Therapy - Ward Masseuse 2nd Floor ? asfnone
201 ? Layren
202 ? DarthUncle
203 ? sweetcaroline
204 ? Lady_Sami_J_Kenobi
205 ? doc4converse
206 ? Zaranne
207 ? obiwankenobilover
208 ? Darth_Meanders
209 ? Darrkwolff
210 ? mrsvos
211 ? JEDI_TEEGIRLOO
212 ? TK-2970
213 ? MsLanna
214 ? Sirene
215 ? academygrad88

2nd Floor - West Wing
Room ? Geriatric
Candystriper ? Position Open!
216 ? **Vacant**
217 ? **Vacant**
218 ? **Vacant**
219 ? **Vacant**
220 ? **Vacant**
221 ? **Vacant**
222 ? **Vacant**
223 ? **Vacant**
224 ? **Vacant**
225 ? **Vacant**
226 ? **Vacant**
227 ? **Vacant**
228 ? **Vacant**
229 ? **Vacant**
230 ? **Vacant**

3rd Floor - East Wing
Suites ? Geriatric
Candystriper ? BultarSwan
301 ? Kessel Runner
302 ? mac-nut
303 ? Tobey-Wan
304 ? Elf
305 ? Darth_Gangrenous
306 ? JediFalcon
307 ? Yoda_yo_mama
308 ? Adalia_Durron
309 ? Jedi_Satimber
310 ? PatttyB0123

3rd Floor - West Wing
Suites ? Geriatric
311 ? spooky-kid
312 ? Maulfly
313 ? GrandAdmiralStrife
314 ? beezel26
315 ? Kavic_Toth
316 ? Dark_Lady_Jada
317 ? Katya_Jade
318 ? DarthPhelps
319 ? Crash_Davis
320 ? GIMER

Tin Shed out Back thomasmontgomery
(Maintenance Engineer)
Refurbished Closet Next to Medical ? Luna_Nightshade
(Official Maker of Tapioca Pudding and Bearer of Metamucil)

Management Building
Manager ? The_WARD_Manager
Cafeteria ? Chef_Boy-R-D
Garage ? Bert-the-Bus-Driver


Now commence with your new round of mindless drivel.

 

WHOOO HOOO!! First post

 

Congrats. Now you can die happy.

 

If I wanted to die happy, Maulfly would let me get a threesome; she'd kill me, but I'd die happy.

 

I have a new room.


*looks for her new room*


Yipppeeeeee

 

Oy. Does this mean we all get enemas again?

 

Yes, but we'll use Faygo RedPop for yours.

 

"Oh, I must inform master about the current changes!"

*hastens to the telephone!*

 

Yes it does.

I'll be sending out PMs to people over the weekend to let them know of the new Ward.

 

You can keep your P.M.S. to yourself thank you very much.
Just rubbing it in to the ladies with hot flashes I suspect...

 

Give me my room back please!!!

 

*looks at Gimer*



*goes back to room too unpack her things*

 

It burns! It burns!

 

*has DU on the phone!*

"He wonders if Otis has a suite for two elderly people like us."

 

*helps haul stuff over from the old thread*

 

*waves at fellow old woman that always manages to look young and gorgeous!*

 

Where's is Embrace of Pain? I hope someone got her out of my closet!

 

Done. It's in your new closet for your convenience Jada.

Is there anything I can get for you Nicole?

 

*is wandering around*

 

Should a new Obi mural be painted on your walls obilover?

 

Somebody needs to get obiwankenobilover her medication.
Looks like she forgot to take it in the move.

 

Yes!!


*skips back to room*

 

I'll get right on it!

*goes to gather the painting supplies*

 

"A nice massage? A hot chocolate?"

 

*hands Nicole a mug of hot chocolate and gives her a back massage*