The Great Barnacles PRESENT: The COMPLETE IDIOT's Guide to the YJCC! Come one! Come all!

Messrs. FRED and MAX BARNACLE invite the GENERAL PUBLIC to WITNESS another one of the most SPECTACULAR circus acts in this forum!

*~* AMAZING FEATS! *~*

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen!

I Have This Huge Crush On A Celebrity. Like, What Do I Do?

The Celebrity Crush, or "loseria pathetica", is an internet-related illness that, in some cases, may result in permanent annoyance among the sufferer's circle.

Symptoms: having the name of the victim in the (manual) sig, plus repetitive mentioning of said victim in various threads. Also, starting a thread about the victim and calling it a "The [Name of Celebrity] Discussion thread!!" The discussion being posting pics and red X-es.

This illness can easily be cured. Let people PM you, the sufferer, excessively with the following text: "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!" "FORGET IT!"

INTERMEZZO:

You were Superman, then you fell off your horse
Now you're in a wheelchair unable to change floors
You're disabled and can't do anything but lurk
But you won't have to breathe anymore, a machine does all the work

Look on the bright side!

*~* BREATHTAKING MARVELS! *~*

"What Do I Do When I Need Dating Advice?"

You have come to the right place. What you do, is post a thread about it, naturally. Then, in each following post, you contradict yourself until it becomes clear to everybody you're not going to date at all, that you have never dated, that a woman has never even talked to you, and that the closest thing to a naked woman you saw was your mother when you were born.

If your thread seems to attract a negative response, do not fear. Simply post another. Eventually you will receive the thoughtful and reasoned advice for your imaginary social life that you would expect from this community.

I See Someone Leaving The JC. Should I Do Something?

Here is how to interpret that:

"People of the JC. After trying in vain to impress you with my antics, I am once again going to draw attention to myself. You have forced me to opt for the most embarrassing measure possible, which will cause me to lose face majorly. We all know I will return, possibly as soon as tomorrow. But you haven't been listening to me. You haven't given me the reaction I demanded. So, you force me to say it, and I am going to say it: I AM LEAVING THE JC.

Attack_Of_The_Ewoks left the JC to tell the JC he would be leaving, and left after he posted some more before he decided to leave.

I, Fred Barnacle, will now give a short imitation of Attack_Of_The_Ewoks.

//exits stage

//returns on stage

Thank you, thank you -- you're almost too kind!

*~* WONDROUS FOUR-LEGGED EIGHTEEN INCH BEARDED LADY *~*

Something Awful Has Happened To Me. What Do I Do?

The very first thing you do, as your beloved one lies there bleeding, is start a thread about the tragedy. In it, through the use of various "crying" and "sad" smileys, you tell the people what has just, seconds ago, happened; gradually, you fill in the details. When people don't show enough sympathy, you flame them relentlessly. You might want to check earlier threads to see if you actually have a beloved one.

Tip: start off with the word "So". Example: "So, my mother died today."

I'm Horny. What Do I Do?

PM a Mod.

INTERMEZZO:

Your nose is gone and your skin is bleached
And all the world thinks you're a freak
Your records don't sell, all you have is some toys
But also the company of sexy little boys

Look on the bright side!

I Can Read Posts, But Can't See Who Posted Them. Is There Any Way...?

Yes.

"The EU is canon, I say it. End of discussion....NOW. *ahem*EUiscanon*ah

 

Bravo!

...or if you're a female...

Brava!

 

What kind of sock are you?

 

The funny threads continue.

 

Nice.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
Peace Out!

 

I Have This Huge Crush On A Celebrity. Like, What Do I Do?]

You forgot, a symptom can be having them invade your computer Stalker.


Hillarious thread!

-sj loves kevin spacey and darth_ignant

 

ya, lotta idiots here.

DarthNut,
the nuttiest guy around.

 

Holy crap, he's right. AOTE's been posting.

Also, I give you points for the COS and PiaS mockery



Rick McCallum loves you!

 

I can't decide which Barnacle to love more

 

I think the Barnacles are my new favorite posters.

 

Best. Idiot's Guide. Ever.

 

Excellent.

 

Truly wonderful

*standing ovation*

 

The Barnacles own your face.

 

What I'd like to know is:

1) Who is this/these guy(s)?
2) Is he/she/it a normal poster, or a lurker making many observations?



Anyways... That was great. I can't wait to see more.

 

I'm Horny. What Do I Do?

PM a Mod.



Miles Davis, in Europe, is called Kilometer Davis.

That made me el oh el.

 

I'm Horny. What Do I Do?

PM a Mod.

LOL!

 

who's sock is this?

 

very good, again...

 

i find this thread very entertaining... if not amazing...

what was the name of the other threads by the barnacles...

i remember one about a new mod squad update...

is that the only one? and if so can someone post a linky...

 

Here ya go

 

Thank you! No, thank you kindly!

I can't decide which Barnacle to love more

But I can: me! Me!

 

No, ME! Do we have to take this outside?

Thanks AGAIN!