Beyond - Legends The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) NEW POST(08/24/10)

As for watching anything with Nathan, do you know about Castle, his latest series on ABC (monday nights at 10)? My heart did a fair number of flips for the Halloween special, what with the shiny intro they did: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q3pdj9p6yI . Gotta love the show's writers...

Did you see the Halloween show? The costume he appeared in first?

"What are you supposed to be?"

"A space cowboy!"



PS: Not to forget, of course, that Erizhan Arhantia is *gasp* gorram Simon Tam. Force, but these Kalinadians are some right handsome men.

Men and women, all Kalinadians are beautiful. Hmm... they aren't "selective" like Earth's ancient Spartans, are they? Nah - just good genes.

And yes, I WILL respond to the post! But I've gotta pack...

 

In the meantime, I gather there is a new addition to the Gunray family? Marvelous! Congratulations to all, and to all a few good nights.... *hugs*

Thank you, and yes it is true, my third son was born Thursday night (EST). He appears to have his mother's hair. Mom and child are doing well.

 

?Flight Officer Canaille, ?yeahday? as you say is usually rendered J-h-e-d-a-e in Basic script. It means ?Jedi? in Kalinadian. It was sometimes used as shorthand for any non-Kalinadian Force tradition, but I believe that that use has become obsolete. It is also Kalinadian Military slang for traitor. Am I correct, Constable Lieutenant Arhantia??

The Constable looked from Luke to Barriss to Aubé and back to Barriss. Then, he said, ?Quite right? Healer Offee, quite right.?

The plot thickens.

Congratulations on your newest happiness.

 

OK, I"m back. I hope you and the family are settling in happily.

I really enjoyed the intro to this chapter and especially your wonderfully wry descriptions of Luke Skywalker and Party. I laughed out loud at this one...

The party was in full swing as another group entered the restaurant. This one was lead by a relatively non-descript blond man, and was certainly smaller than the one raising a ruckus throughout the bar. Also, if pressed, this leader would not have been able to articulate a specific reason that he had chosen to bring the core of his Restored Order to this place. He would simply have said that he had a feeling that it was the right thing to do. Such was the life of Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master. He had other titles as well, but he tried not to dwell on them.

Also, there is something both terrifying and droll about this observation of Dorme?s:

Perfectly roasted and seasoned songbirds?ironic really, I watched Palpatine take over with a plate of these in front of me, and yet, I?ve never lost my taste for them

I like the way the conversation between Ivo and Dormé about what it?s like to ?hear? other people?s thoughts reflects the parallel scene of the Head Jedi in the noisy bar, who must surely experience similar struggles. But the perspective throughout is quite clearly Kalinadian. However god-touched he is, Ivo?s primary business is property/territory and status and making sure both are advantageously dealt with on behalf of his people. The Jedi Master... well, he seems to be in quite a bit of a muddle as far as his mandate and is concerned.

I really liked Han?s clear-eyed view of the Kalinadians:

?I just mean, the Kalinadians always surprise you. I dealt with them a fair amount, and I don?t think that I?ve ever really understood them. From what I could tell, all the stereotypes about them are true. They are arrogant, convinced of everyone?s inferiority, and generally don?t want much of anything to do with you. They are also loyal, brave, orderly, and generally pleasant to deal with under stress. How they make it all work for them, I don?t know, but they do.?

Loved this description of DarthBreezy?s character Aube:

She was on the short-side, but Brenkal thought her pretty enough. She walked with a slight swagger, seemed eminently comfortable in her bloused breeches and white roll-collared blouse, and was clearly looking around the room. Ignoring the fact that she was an unshielded god touched for the moment, Brenkal focused on the familiar about her, Obvious fighter pilot?thinks that she?s the gods? gift to the universe?Gods, do they all have the same ego no matter who they fly for?

Yes, I think they do!

Clearly, the god-touched and the Jhedae are about to come to confrontation ? if not in the bar, then certainly in a much larger arena.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Great post!

 

Just popping in before work to let you know that I still am about and very much enjoying the story - congrats on the latest addition to the family!

Hmmm - it seems our dear Jedi Master has his hands full...

 

Not replies yet as I think there may be some readers still wishing to post...

But just a scheduling note...I hope to get the next two posts to my beta by the end of Thanksgiving weekend in the U.S. As a special treat, I can tell you that we will see the return of the Dowager Protectrix, Lady Lianna Arzhan.

 

As always I love the Ivo and Dorme scenes. I admit to somewhat losing track of their children and various others of the next generation, but your history of the two is wonderfully detailed.

Also enjoyed the restaurant created by a man who couldn't get a decent meal (on an extremely populated planet). How many great little restaurants are founded on the same idea...

The party shows a boistrous group- somehow I think "Captain Hammer" tendancies spread more broadly than just Geharza Artoras.

Not to nitpick excessively, but this comment by Han:

Now, aren?t we watching this as a primer on Kalinadian culture among the higher nobility of the Commonwealth?

sounds a bit like he is practicing from his "new word of the week" calendar.

A nice long post and I hope to read more soon...

 

Well, if that last bit wasn't enough to stop the party cold and let everyone hear Coruscant version of crickets, I don't know what was.



CJM

 

Just wanted to post a quick note of apology as I am totally behind schedule...Sorry.

I really do hope to get something up soon...

 

They really should make our passwords for the forum something we can remember cause I am not always at my own computer when I get to read an update. I really love it when the kalinadians and the skywalkers overlap there is something thrilling about it. Looking forward to your next udate.

 

Just a little comment to pull this story up a bit.

Recently, I saw the movie The Young Victoria, which prompted me to do some research on the historical figure. A most interesting fact was swiftly brought to my attention: her full name was indeed Alexandrina Victoria (for the Tsar and for her mother) up until she shortened it to Victoria on her first official documents as Queen, and she had been known for her whole childhood as Princess Drina. I couldn't help but notice the parallel with your own Aleiksandrina "Drinnie" Arzhan, and wondered if Her Majesty might not have been an inspiration of yours...

I am, of course, eager to hear from you on the subject, and I hope we'll also have another chapter coming quite soon.

Cheers,

Lauré

 

laurethiel --- I have to say no, but I do find the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha's (Windsor, that is)habit of changing names upon accension to be fascinating: Edward VII was called by his first name Albert as Prince of Wales, Edward VIII was David, and George VI was Albert, Duke of York. Thus the suspicion that Prince Charles Phillip Arthur George, if he ever reigns, will reign as George VII rather than Charles III.

Oh, and I am really trying to get more written...

 

Just a couple of quick annoucements:

First,I am continuing to write,and I must warn you that this is about to get somewhat metaphysical,and will remain so for the remainder of it. So, be prepared to deal with the religious, the spiritual, ghosts, hauntings, and the like.

Secondly,are cast annoucement: CORDE NABERRIE, beloved of Brenkal Arzhan has been recast. The new Corde is shown below:

[image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v650/Gunrayslawyer/molly-c-quinn.jpg]



Why? Well, she fits better physically,and she is actually the ageinvolved,and I love her work on Castle.

 

Well, you know me... Metaphysical, philosophical, or just plain old action-packed, I'll be reading your stories, so definitely count me in for the rest of the ride.

Kudos for the recast. Miss Quinn in the role of Cordé is, in a word, ideal. Her Alexis Castle is simply smashing.

And on your previous note...
Thus the suspicion that Prince Charles Phillip Arthur George, if he ever reigns, will reign as George VII rather than Charles III.
Well, it is true that the Georgian period is seen as a quite plentiful one (notwithstanding the... errings of the third of that name), and both Charleses have had some rather hectic succession issues (and a lively bedside manner, at least for the second), so I understand why he might not want this kind of mental association.

Cheers,

Lauré

 

OK, I admit it, I have taken far to long to get to this...I am sorry.

Before you read this post, it might be worth while to reread the last couple.

Also, I need to address one more Kalinadian Theological issue: "The world between the moments." This is where the Kalinadians locate both the Promised World (heaven) and the Three Hells. It is an article of Kallinadain faith that the Promised Land is an actual quasi physical place in the space between moments. In another dimension so to speak. One taht intersects with and coincides with the first or mundane world.

Now,the next post....


Chapter 9 Part II
House of Zelkarrie, Coruscant, 1912 hrs Coruscant Mean Time


Lieutenant Commander Kisilvar Viscount Arferic-Arzhan of Ainzoulus, Commonwealth Naval Attaché and cousin to the Protector, watched the exchange between Erizhan Arhantia and the newcomers carefully, especially when the shorter, younger woman reddened, as if about to rant. This immediately made Arhantia and Artoras visibly uncomfortable. Idly, the onlooker sipped his whiskey, and wondered if that had in fact been the woman?s goal.

Yes, the idea of treason always seems less disruptive than the fact of it?or the fact of one?s relation to it, I wonder if the group with Arhantia knows that they?re as much traitor?s children as are my brother and I.

With that thought Kisilvar felt the familiar blackness creeping into his soul. The loneliness arose from being tarred as the son of a traitor in a society that held the bonds of family and friendship sacred. The fact that he had not yet turned two years old when it had happened earned him no pardon. Personal trust was given to him, and to his brother, sparingly by the higher Nobility, even by people who trusted him implicitly professionally. They looked upon him and only saw the eldest son of Duke Heinsa of Fertalikas, the mastermind of the Purist plot. The more that he dwelled on his lot in life, the more the blackness overwhelmed him. He wondered why he had even come to the party.

Shake yourself out of this Kisilvar?you know why you came here ?you came here out of respect for Baron Tornoch?s mother?for what she said to a hurt, angry twelve year-old after staring daggers at her husband?s back.

It had been his first House of Deputies and Council of Notables convocation at the Capital. He had been introduced to the Protector for the first time, and his heart had fallen when the Protector had gone from smiling and making small talk with others of the peerage to a thin-lipped, flinty steel gray stare followed by a terse, ?You will excuse me.? He remembered standing there, barely keeping from shaking in frustration, when the Protectorix had swung into his view. She was staring angrily at the retreating back of her husband. Suddenly, she had turned toward him. Gently resting her hand on his shoulder, she had said, ?Forgive my Husband, Viscount. He forgets that the sins of fathers are not transmitted to their sons.? Then she had leaned forward and kissed his cheek. It hadn?t mattered to Kisilvar that her smile didn?t quite reach her eyes or that those same eyes were sad. Her gracious behavior toward the son of the man who had helped to mastermind a plot to kill her had won her a follower for life. He was here because that Lady?s youngest son had become engaged and such occasions deserved to be feted, even if the celebration raised his level of joy not at all. He still felt the entangling sense of blackness weighing on his soul as he watched the party-goers.

Attending such events, putting on a good face in public, all seemed so pointless to him at times. It was then that his increasingly foul mood began to lighten slightly for no clear reason. He was reminded of his feelings after the Protectrix had kissed his cheek all those years ago. Feeling more at ease, he took a swig of his whiskey, he thought, ?Perhaps this isn?t so meaningless a time after all.?

As he began to move closer to the heart of the party, he never noticed the fiery haire

 

Interesting facts:

In a 10pt Verdana Word doc this story is now at 113 pages and just over 50,000 words.

The story began about 4 years ago. You average 34.223 words per day.

Let us assume you are about a third of the way through this story and that you keep this average- you should finish sometime in 2018.

Perhaps as a high school graduation gift for your eldest child...


As for the post...

Ivo and Dorme reads better the second time through. I can see their need to escape past pain. I still need to re-read old chapters and follow the scene from start to finish.

I like the interactions at the party, especially the spirits.

I also like the clear nudge Bren was give to make polite introductions.

Keep writing!

 

In a 10pt Verdana Word doc this story is now at 113 pages and just over 50,000 words.

The story began about 4 years ago. You average 34.223 words per day.

Let us assume you are about a third of the way through this story and that you keep this average- you should finish sometime in 2018.

Perhaps as a high school graduation gift for your eldest child..




Actually, I had feared that you might never get back around to this story, but I am very happy that you did! (Just shows what can be accomplished at the rate of 34.223 words per day. I am heartened in my own work!)


I shall return with proper comments, but for now, welcome back!!!!

 

wow,34.223 words that's sad...SL&B was 259 words a day....I think that I need more hours in the day...

 

Well, all right, I?m back from the demands of my summer and a much-needed vacation surrounded by Stormtroopers (C5, anyone?), and this story needs to go UP!!!!

I have to say that I?m really enjoying the metaphysical aspects you?ve brought into this chapter. Shades of ?To Absent Friends? and ?The Red Room? ? I?ve missed this aspect of Ivo?s world! I?m also glad that you?ve continued on with immersing us in this party. It seems like a perfect microcosm of Kalindian social and political life, as revealed through the (stumbling) entry into and among the elite of Galactic notables, who are, without a doubt, entirely out of their depth. But then, I can?t imagine anyone other than a Kalindian or someone who has lived among them for years (certain Naboo come to mind) even beginning to be able to navigate those very deep and treacherous waters.

As to specifics: I found the conversation between the women from ?the world between moments? absolutely perfect, as was the brief scene between Dormé and Ivo. You convey so much in these small scenes!

I found myself leaning forward eagerly when the Baron began to speak of the scent of ?floral and vanilla? that always lingered around Luke?s father. Again, it took me straight back to ?To Absent Friends.? I am very, very eager for Luke to learn more about his parents as they once were... how surprised he will be!

LOVED the sharp little confrontation about the ?misuse? of the Force. From such fundamental differences in attitude and belief do vast political confrontations grow..

* ?Perhaps my cousin, you should just remember that great or extraordinary men sometimes feel themselves forced to do horrifying and terrible things. It may ease your mind,? she said softly ...She left out something, Luke thought, she left out that they think that they are right to do such things, or at least are justified. *

Somewhere around here, young Luke ? around this realization - does the man truly begin to become a leader, with all the sacrifices that entails...

Well done as always, and as always, I am looking forward to the next installment!

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I'm glad to hear the next post is well underway-- perhaps to be finished in all your spare time this weekend?

 

A pre-replies posting of some cast photos....

First, I give you a somewhat less formal look at Talsia Lady Arzhan, Duchess of Dunlind, and Ivo's grandmother.

[image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v650/Gunrayslawyer/untitled.jpg]





Then, an image of Dala...She's also the mystery picture here


[image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v650/Gunrayslawyer/Dala.jpg]




Finally, Kisilvar Viscount Arferic-Arzhan,in fencing attire.


[image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v650/Gunrayslawyer/tennant.jpg]


Replies soon

 

All right, to speed things along...behold a new post. I'll save specific replis for after this post as it and the previous one fit together nicely thematically. In general,I just want to say thanks for the complements.

Now, the new post...


Chapter 10

Part I ?These Dreams?


Chief of Staff?s Quarters, Republic High Command Complex, Coruscant, 0337 Coruscant Mean Time.


Long ago, Carlist Rieekan had learned that little or nothing good happened in the middle of the night. He knew that poets and Romantics associated it with the whispered words and fevered gasps of lovers or the solitary communion with the universe, but he also knew that they were wrong. The middle of the night was a time of robbery, murder, sudden attacks, bloodshed, and vulnerability. So, when he was awakened by a pounding at his bedroom door at 0336, he expected the worst.

When he reached his door he found his equally just awakened appearing Mirialan aide, Captain Eltan Desdorus, and the Emergency Command Officer for the night, a Duros Major whom Rieekan did not know. With an expression halfway between a smirk and a frown, he asked, ?So, what?s going on??

?General, the military aid mission to the Hapes Consortium has signaled that Hapan territory was attacked during the night local time. Apparently, the naval base at Febrini was raided,? the Duros said in a rapid, rolling accent typical of his kind.

Silence prevailed for a long moment. Then, Rieekan asked, ?Do we know, and I don?t mean suspect, who attacked them??

His aide responded, ?No.?

Rieekan let out a breath that he had not realized that he had been holding. Calmly and steadily, he mused, ?Then we know that it?s unlikely that it was the Kalinadians.?
?Though,? the Duros interrupted, ?from what little we know, it seems to have all the tactical earmarks of one of theirs.?

?Yes,? said Rieekan sharply, ?but, if it was the Kalinadians, they would have made sure that we knew that it was they. It would be a message to us: a thank you for that insurgent attack that they have all but blamed on us. An attack like this would be what Kalinadian military thought calls ?raising them elsewhere??you know, horizontal escalation. So, if we don?t know for certain that it was the Kalinadians by now, we can probably safely assume that it wasn?t.?

?Then, who?? Captain Desdorus asked.

Rieekan thought for a moment, ?I think that we should reevaluate our threat analysis of the Free Hapan League, as they?re the most likely candidates.?


Quarters of the Governor-General of Occupied Hapes, Fort Arkodda, Gallinore, 0517hrs. Local time



Genty sat on the edge of his bed in his sleep shorts rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. He yawned as he considered everything that he had just heard. Just to be clear, he thought it a good idea to confirm the key points.

?So, what you?re telling me, Desar, is that about five hours ago the FHL staged a quick insertion/quick exit attack on the Consortium?s naval base at Febrini in response to the insurgent attack using the Republic ordinance that we still haven?t confirmed was part of their military aid package to the Consortium.?

?That?s about it, General,? replied his aide-de-camp, Lieutenant-Colonel Desar Ardreg.

?How much damage did they do??

?We don?t know for sure, they haven?t shared any vids, holos, or damage assessments yet. The message from their High Command did say that they did heavy damage to a spaceborne dry dock, and at least one Corellian-style corvette and a Nova-class cruiser.?

?Means that they probably destroyed the Corvette, damaged the cruiser, and scored a hit or two on the dock,? Genty opined, sounding almost disinterested.

?Perhaps,? agreed Desar, ?but the real question is, what do we do if the Consortium strikes back and the Coruscanti Republicans join them??

Genty looked up and huffed. Then, he said, ?You?re right. Alert all our commands to the possibility of a Hapan strike either into occupied territory or into the FHL. Send a message to the Director-

 

Just a quick word...

First, I want to tell you that I'm thoroughly enjoying every single post. Your Kalinadians never cease to amaze me.

I especially like your vision of the "world between worlds" where the souls pass after death. I find it not unlike the Celtic notion of the Otherworld. Also, it bears a striking similarity to the World of Faerie, that is, the land of the Tuatha de Danan, the Celtic gods: they could pass through the worlds at whim and make themselves seen (or not) to the mortals they visited.

But there is another subject I would like to point out. I had for a while wondered at the title of your story, and in another of my readings, I came across the exact term "the Great Game". Curious, I did a little search, and the Wikipedia entry is particularly interesting:

The Great Game (Russian: ??????? ????, Bol'sháya igrá) is a term used for the strategic rivalry and conflict between the British Empire and the Russian Empire for supremacy in Central Asia. The classic Great Game period is generally regarded as running approximately from the Russo-Persian Treaty of 1813 to the Anglo-Russian Convention of 1907. A second, less intensive phase followed the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917. The Great Game dwindled down after United Kingdom, United States and Russia, became Allies of World War II.

The term "The Great Game" is usually attributed to Arthur Conolly (1807?1842), an intelligence officer of the British East India Company's Sixth Bengal Light Cavalry.

So, if I apply the same logic to your story, it means that your Great Game is between the Galactic Empire and the New Republic, with the Kalinadian Commomwealth playing the part of Central Asia. Impressive. Most impressive. And it makes me look at your story from a completely different perspective. I love it.

Cheers,

Lauré

 

I like the post and think the balance between dream and reality was nicely done. It gives the sense of building up to major events.

I?m not sure you give Luke enough credit. He seems frequently buffeted about by events with no recourse but to stand slack-jawed while he deeply contemplates his uncertainties. Let the poor guy do something with determination and the strength of his own convictions!

...he vaguely wondered where Dormé was at the moment. Then, it occurred to him that she had gone to Naboo for a week, back to the house of her youth, with Drinie. It struck him odd that he hadn?t remembered that at first,...

Is Ivo blocking Dormé from his subconscious as he sleeps? It seems he could not keep an image (a dream Dorme, perhaps) of her out of his true dreams, but that it is well within his abilities to block her presence.

I really get a sense of youthful immaturity from Dala. I do not think she is looking to do anything that might injure her mother, but I don?t know that she would be capable of thinking through her actions in an empathic sort of way.

Looking forward to more!

 

Just a note to any lurkers out there in the virtual world, replies will go up tomorrow 9/10. SO, pls. feel free to getyour comments in...