Before - Legends The Greatest Adventure of Them All - Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan challenge response

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Jun 17, 2007.

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  1. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Title: The Greatest Adventure of Them All
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan
    Notes: Written for the [link=]Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan First Sentence Challenge[/link]

    The Greatest Adventure of Them All

    ?To die will be an awfully big adventure,? Qui-Gon said with a wink as he sat down on the cool, hard ground.

    Obi-Wan merely snorted and shook his head. ?Planning on making your grand exit tonight, are you?? he asked.

    For a moment, the Master was thoughtful and then he shrugged. ?Well, one never knows.? He grinned at Obi-Wan. ?We are on the run, aren?t we??

    ?Could you put that off until after we get a decent meal at least?and some sleep,? Obi-Wan grumbled along with his stomach. ?I?m quite sure there are all sorts of forms to fill out if one?s Master dies and frankly, I?m too tired and hungry to deal with them right now.?

    Chuckling softly, Qui-Gon put a hand on Obi-Wan?s shoulder. ?Of that I have no doubt, Padawan.? Then he looked around, stretching out with the Force. ?Well they haven?t found us yet and it?ll be dark soon. That?s good news.?

    ?And us without rations,? Obi-Wan observed as his stomach rumbled loudly yet again.

    Fumbling in the pouch that hung at his belt, Qui-Gon pulled out a ration bar. ?You should have at least two left, Obi-Wan,? he said as he unwrapped the bar.

    ?I got hungry on the way,? Obi-Wan confessed, staring morosely into the forest. He rested his chin on his hands and contemplated the empty state of his belly.

    ?I had forgotten the appetite of a teenage boy,? Qui-Gon said and handed Obi-Wan half of the ration bar. ?Here? It?s not much but it should hold you over for an hour or so,? he teased.

    Obi-Wan ate with little enthusiasm. Ration bars were meant to be sources of nutrition, not necessarily pleasing to the palate. At least they had water, he mused, and drank a generous measure. Well that was good, what else is there?

    The younger man watched as Qui-Gon removed his cloak and folded it carefully, then stretched out on the ground and placed the cloak beneath his head as a pillow. Qui-Gon rested his head on his folded arms and stared up into the sky. ?It?s dark,? he murmured. ?I think we?ll be able to get a few hours of sleep. We can rendezvous with our contact tomorrow and get a proper meal and bed.?

    ?Probably,? Obi-Wan agreed as he did likewise with his own cloak. The night sky was streaked with purple and black, the last remnants of clouds marked by white wisps that striated the dark canvas.

    For a while they were both silent, though Obi-Wan knew his Master was not asleep. Finally, Obi-Wan rolled on his side so that he faced Qui-Gon, even though he could barely see him in the growing darkness. ?What made you say that?? he asked suddenly.

    Qui-Gon blinked, bringing his thoughts back to the here and now. ?Say what?? he asked and turned to meet Obi-Wan?s eyes.

    ?What you said about dying being an adventure,? Obi-Wan clarified. ?Why did you say it??

    Smiling slightly, Qui-Gon shrugged. ?I don?t know,? he admitted. ?I heard it somewhere when I was about your age and I liked the sound of it. It seemed right for a Jedi somehow.?

    Obi-Wan absorbed this for a moment and then frowned. ?Don?t you think it?s rather morbid, Master??

    Surprised, Qui-Gon laughed softly. ?Morbid? Why ever would you think that, Padawan?? There was amused tolerance in Qui-Gon?s voice and at another time it might have stung. Instead, Obi-Wan rolled over on his back once more and stared up at the changing sky.

    ?How can death be an adventure?? he finally asked. He knew what the Order taught about death of course, any crècheling did. But knowing and believing were two different things entirely.

    Qui-Gon moved so that he was looking up at the sky as well, and Obi-Wan felt his Master?s gentle presence in the Force even more strongly, their training bond pulsing to life. ?Why not?? he asked. ?I think death will be the greatest adventure of all.?

    ?But you?re?dead??
  2. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I know this was meant to be light but I found it incredibly sad. Obi-Wan is already feeling the loss before he even realizes it. I liked the explanation that Qui would just be going back into the Force he loves but Obi only sees the loss.

    Great job.
  3. ClaudiaR Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2007
    star 1
    This was very sad... the only time I was tempted to smile was the Yoda
    comment, but I liked it even as I felt sorry for Obi!

    Qui-gon saying he would die when Obi-wan was going to have
    an apprentice was a nice bit of foreshadowing...
  4. Sionnach-Airgid Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    :_| :_| :_|

    ?I do trust you, Master,? Obi-Wan replied. ?But that doesn?t change the fact that I?ll be alone.?

    ?You don?t know that,? Qui-Gon admonished him. ?None of us can know such things.?

    ?I know,? Obi-Wan insisted stubbornly.

    :( :_| Poor Obi! It must be really hard to possess one's strength in the Unifying Force. To know at such an early time, even if he's not yet sure of the who, what, when, where, why and how of it, and to be so certain . . . My heart aches for him! Very very poignant! :_|

    Wanders off in search of a box of tissues . . .
  5. Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2005
    star 4
    :) :( Oh, VaderLVR! You've got my emotions all tangled up again. :p I loved the funny bits, yet the overall story was tinged with sadness because we know what will happen to Qui-Gon, and despite Obi-Wan having Anakin, he will be alone.

    ?I don?t like to think of you dying, Master,? he confessed abruptly.

    I love how you wrote both master and padawan in this piece - the relationship there feels familiar and comfortable - but I especially loved how you explored Obi-Wan. He reveals himself and his deeply buried fear of losing his master with his own words.

    =D= I loved it! Great response to the challenge, VaderLVR! I've always liked that quote and you used it very effectively here.
  6. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Throws the dictionary at Kim and says find your own words of greatness. [face_laugh]

    Truly, that was wonderful. Considering what happens in the future, that was a great conversation for both of them to have.

    Your last line, of course, was the creme de la creme.
  7. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Another great one from you. And pure foreshadowing TPM.@};-
  8. Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    Oh, how lovely. A little sad, yes, but also comforting.

    ?When I die,? Qui-Gon forged ahead despite Obi-Wan?s protest, ?I want you to remember above everything else that I?ve simply gone home to the Force I love and have served all my life.?

    Obi-Wan did not answer, could not speak past the lump in his throat. At last, he whispered, ?All right, Master, I promise.?

    ?Thank you, Obi-Wan,? Qui-Gon said with feeling.

    A wonderful exchange. Simply beautiful...and the last line had me giggling! ;)

    Bravo =D=
  9. ratna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    I loved the honesty.

    ... and the affection.

    Another awesome vig by the Maestra.
  10. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    What a serious conversation to be having while on the run.

    I loved Qui-Gon reassuring Obi he wouldn't be alone after he died.

    Great response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  11. Kylie_Jinn Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 1
    Very nice. A bittersweet story, leaning every so slightly to the sweet side. Poor Obi-Wan in the future, though, so lonely...

    Nice use of the quote, too!
  12. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    You conveyed in this story something very real. The moments that everyone experiences in which you realize you could lose someone, that nothing lasts forever, and it overwhelms you for a second, like it overwhelmed Obi-Wan. Beautiful, VL. You truly have a gift.
  13. azizah Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 4, 2006
    star 1
    Great challenge response. I loved the whole interaction, especially the ending, and I thought this was especially characteristic

    For a while they were both silent, though Obi-Wan knew his Master was not asleep. Finally, Obi-Wan rolled on his side so that he faced Qui-Gon, even though he could barely see him in the growing darkness. ?What made you say that?? he asked suddenly.

    Qui-Gon blinked, bringing his thoughts back to the here and now. ?Say what?? he asked and turned to meet Obi-Wan?s eyes.

    Poor Obi-Wan is brooding about it and Qui-Gon has already moved on.

  14. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    dianethx Thank you. :)

    ClaudiaR Thank you so much for reading!

    Sionnach-Airgid Our poor Obi! :_|

    Nienna_Narmolanya Yes, I thought the quote was great! :D

    Valairy_Scot Thank you. [face_blush]

    earlybird-obi-wan Glad you liked it! :)

    Kestrel_Kenobi Thanks for reading! :D

    ratna Thank you. [face_blush]

    KELIA You never know when a "teaching moment" will pop up! :p

    Kylie_Jinn Thanks!

    LuvEwan Coming from YOU, that's a huge compliment.

    azizah Thanks for reading!

  15. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    A prediction of the future and Qui-Gon has faith that Obi-Wan will not be alone.
    Oh how wrong he was.

    I like that they lay in the dark discussing life and death.
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