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Before - Legends The Green Stone Trilogy I: Making -young Qui's journal-Aaaand this is just never going to end.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by female_obi_wan, Mar 28, 2003.

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  1. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    Title: Making
    Author(s): female_obi_wan
    Timeframe: young Qui-Gon
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Dooku
    Genre: general (it's got bits of everything) :)
    Summary: Qui-Gon's journal as he trains to be a Jedi

    This is a repost from the old board. If you want to see the old one or the reviews for it, you can go [link=]here[/link]. :)

    PROLOGUE-Added 20/8/03


    A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....

    Life will become a painless death
    Love will become a blinding hate
    Without dark there is no light
    Who will tell the future's fate?

    Shadows of stars and the longest darkness
    Alll shadows that cover the heart
    Fate is not created by destiny
    In love and faith will the fight start.


    Two sons of fallen ones, to guide and save the light.
    Two daughters of the universe-bright stars in the dark night.
    One to choose the future...the choice of light or love.

    Seek the answer in the first betrayal...


    The flames reached higher....


    Eridar Ololian lay next to the campfire and stared up at the sky. The smoke mixed with the stars, giving her the impression that the whole sky was burning. Aside from the sound of burning wood and the crackling of dead leaves stirred by the wind, it was silent. She sat up and held the baby tightly so he would be warm as well. Her ship was quite a long way away. She'd had to stop for the night. Along with this child...

    This child.

    He was very strong in the Force. His parents had given their agreement for her to take him soon enough; they wanted a better life for him than what they could offer. And he would get a better life.

    Once she got home, that was. Back to the Temple.

    The baby was falling asleep in her arms. She noticed a ring on his finger. Oh yes...the parents had given it to him before he left. She looked into the stone on it. It was emerald green...bright as the leaves. And, if you stared for long enough, there were streaks of blue and yellow, white and red...but she needed to sleep now. So she slept too.


    The flames reached higher, burning away...


    Master Ololian's ship finally touched down on the platform almost two days later. The baby was fine...wide awake and squealing...which was more than could be said for her, she was tired.

    "My old Padawan," Yoda greeted her. "And who is this little one?"

    "I discovered him on Toci, Master Yoda. His name is Qui-Gon Jinn. His parents gave their permission for us to train him."

    Yoda nodded. Eridar spotted another figure behind the assembled group of Jedi. "Ah, young Palpatine," she said with a grin.
    "Not a Jedi, are you?"
    "He's interested in the Temple," Mapru said. Despite being the youngest Council member in a while, he was still the sternest, strictest and least friendly. "We have decided to show him around. This is, however, the final time."

    "That's right, Master Ololian," the young boy said quietly. He looked at the baby and smiled. The smile didn't reach his eyes though...never would.

    "Initiate Dooku," Yoda called, and another boy of about twelve stepped forward. "Take this child to the crehe."

    The boy nodded. The Jedi...and Palpatine...started heading into the Temple. The sky was dark overhead.


    "Came from where, the ring did?" Yoda asked curiously. He was in the darkened crehe, along with Eridar, her Padawan Beno Karshan and crehe Master Kezi, looking down at the now sleeping baby.

    "Well, his parents," Eridar said in a low voice so as not to wake the children. "Who did you think? His father...he slid it off his finger and his mother slid it into his. They gave some other things, as's a bag." She reached inside her survival pack, which she was still carrying. "A whole bag. Let him keep it, please, Master,"

    "Very well, old Padawan. If insist you do. And how did the mission go?"

    "Drackelan Omega-Blackmist is dead, my Master. We chased him to Toci and fought him. I struc
  2. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Feb 9, 2002
    Nice post poor Qui!! *hugs*

    More soon!!
  3. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 5, 2000
    Good start! Nice to hear Qui-Gon's own thoughts. So, his first master died? Poor Qui! I wonder how he'll feel about his new master! :)

  4. SHADOW13

    SHADOW13 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jan 20, 2003
    Poor Qui :(

    Great start
  5. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    Thanks for reviewing, you guys. [face_love]

    A/N: Yes,I invented the surname Wildstar for Tahl. Well,it's never mentioned in the books. :)

    2. I Have A Bad Feeling About This

    8th day,8th month,standard year 24933

    It's morning. The lights have been on for a few minutes now. I can hear people getting up. The Temple never sleeps.

    Yoda and that man are coming to speak to me today. What am I going to tell them? What are they going to tell me?

    I want to see my friends. Tahl, Clee, Binn, Mace, Somti...where is everyone? They might be worried,news will have reached them by now...Tahl especially,and she always seems to get terrifically worried at the slightest thing.

    Hang on, I know why she isn't up here making a fuss-it's because she's expecting to be chosen by a Master. Before me and my Master left for Avino, she smiled and said by the time she got back, she would be a Padawan too, and I couldn't boss her around any more.

    Why am I in the Healer's anyway? I'm fine. Well, technically. There's a bruise on my arm and a few scratches, but apart from that, I don't see why they're keeping me here.

    Is there something I don't know about?

    Hang on, I recognize that yell. Tahl's here.


    She's gone now. I was glad to talk to her. I was right,she was worried. And Yoda and well...let's start at the beginning.

    First, Tahl practically ran into my room, leaned over me and grabbed my hand.

    "I'm alive." I said.

    "Thank the stars! I was terrified. Don't you ever, ever do that to me again,Qui-Gon!"

    "I won't." I said.

    "What happened?" she said. (She always talks fast,but today she was talking faster than usual.)

    "I'm fine." I said. "I don't know why they're keeping me here. And my dead."

    She let go of my hand, and then suddenly grabbed it again.


    "Yes." I said. I suddenly felt like I was going to be sick. She noticed.

    "I'm so sorry." she said. She looked guilty, and I realised why-while I had lost a Master, she had gained one.

    "Tahl-were you chosen?"

    "Yes." she said, nodding and blushing. "Master Thea."

    "I knew she'd choose you! I knew it'd be her!"

    "Yes, she's been so nice...just think,soon I'll have a braid-" she reached out a hand and flicked mine "and be going on missions..." She stopped abruptly right there. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I said that without thinking.."

    "It's all right." I said. "You don't have to refrain from saying the word 'mission' around me."

    She didn't really answer,but moved closer to me. "Do you want to talk?"

    "Sort of." I said. "I...I can't remember a lot about what happened. Most of it seems like a blur."

    "There's something important you want to tell me." she interupted. "Tell me. I won't have you bottling things up until you burst."

    (I'm glad she's my friend....)

    "I heard Yoda talking with someone." I said. "They want to assign me to a new Master."

    She frowned. "So soon? That seems a bit..."

    "I'm sure there's something I'm not being told." I said. "It's a funny feeling, and it won't go away."

    "Well," she said. "Maybe..." Then she stopped, hearing the unmistakeable sound of Yoda coming down the corridor.

    "Oh, banthas," she muttered.

    "You're not supposed to be here, are you?"

    "No, not really. Master Thea had me practising katas in the gym...I sort of sneaked away..."

    "She'll be disappointed." I said. "A Master who just chose a Padawan doesn't expect her to go running off without asking permission."

    She scowled. "Thanks a lot. Like you wouldn't do the same. If you weren't in a hospital bed, Qui-Gon, I'd hit you."

    And then,Yoda and the man I'd heard last night chose that moment to walk in. Tahl gave a sort of nervous grin at them.

    "Padawan Wildstar." the man said smoothly "I believe your Master is wondering where you are."

    "Yes." Tahl stammered,rising to her feet. "She will be. See you later,Qui." She hurried out of the room.

    I looked at the man. He was tall. His face was nice, but I couldn't
  6. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    Okay, here are the next five parts, to get this properly up to date:

    3. Till The Day You Die

    10th day,8th month,standard year 24933

    Where should I start?

    Yesterday I was let out of the Healer's. I spent most of the day with Tahl,Clee and the others, telling them everything that had happened. Right at the end,Clee gasped and said:

    "That means...he...he died so you could live! He..."

    We were sort of all silent then, because it was true, and I felt like being sick all of a sudden...being sick again...because it was true, if he hadn't wanted to save me, he wouldn't have died.

    Why did he try to save me? He could've waited! I would have saved him! He didn't have to die!


    Yoda would whack me hard if he saw what I just wrote. I know,I know anger is the path to the Darkside. But...he died.

    He died because of me.

    I want to put down this journal and cry,but...well...another part of me wants to just keep on writing. And I also don't want to cry because I'm writing this in the star-map room, and people keep coming in and out (Master Cilia just walked past and smiled at me. She was one of my teachers when I was seven, and she knew Master Karshan.) So I couldn't cry, because someone would see.

    Anyway, after Clee made her comment on my story, everyone went incredibly quiet...I think it was because we'd been told, all the time, about Knights dying to save others, Masters dying so their apprentice wouldn't be put in danger...but this was the first time it had actually, well, happened to us.

    To me.

    But,anyway,I am now offically Master Dooku's apprentice. He took me to the Council, and they gave their approval. Tahl said I should be happy, because practically the split second I didn't have a Master another one grabbed me straightaway. It was said to cheer me up, but it didn't really.

    Well, that's it. I'll be back to taking classes tomorrow, and before long, being sent out on missions with my new Master.

    Tahl's probably looking for me...better go...


    11th day,8th month,standard year 24933

    I'm living with my Master in his quarters now. They moved me here this morning. I have a new home. But what happened to the old one? Master Karshan's area? Did they give it to someone else? I really wish they'd let me stay there, I liked it...but then I suppose Master Dooku would've had to leave his own home to be with me, and I don't think he'd have liked that.

    In the afternoon,I have lightsabre class. I'm glad it's that and not anything else, because lightsabre class is the only one I'm really any good at.


    It's evening. Actually, it's night and I really should be sleeping, but something happened today-

    I went to lightsabre class, and Dilan and his friends were waiting for me. And as I walked past him, Dilan said loudly. "Better stay away from him. He might drag us down to the Darkside too." And I tried to ignore them, but they kept looking over at me and smirking all day, and I didn't want to tell anyone, because...I'm not sure...because the Darkside's taken so seriously and maybe...maybe...well, after Dilan said something loudly about future traitors to the Jedi, Yoda gave him a sharp look and then looked at me, and I just couldn't read that look and...

    I'd never turn to the Darkside, though. I'm sure Yoda would tell me not to worry, that it was just stupid comments made by a
    bully. But I can't stop thinking about it. You see...

    I have never told anyone this, not even Tahl. I'm afraid of writing it down in case someone finds it. But when I was little, only about six or seven, there was a teacher here who was very skilled at foresight. She died ages ago...when I was eight, I think. Her name was Master Ololian, and once she spoke to me. I was in the Room Of A Thousand Fountains. I can't remember what I was doing in there, but she came to speak to me. She sort of looked at me, except her eyes were closed...we had quite a long conversation,I can't remember most of it,and she sai
  7. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    4. Braids


    12th day,8th month,standard year 24933

    I can't believe what they did.

    I asked Master Dooku when the funeral for Master Karshan would be held. It was a long time before I got my answer. He looked at me in that way adults do when they're telling you they've done something that you'll hate but you're too young to understand anyway, and said "It was held the day after his death, Qui-Gon. While you were in the Healers."

    "But that means...I never got to say goodbye." I said, and had to blink several times, because I didn't want him to see me crying. He might think I can't keep a tight enough hold on my emotions and throw me out, or something.

    But I didn't get to say goodbye.

    Straight after that I ran to find Tahl. I asked if she knew anything about the funeral, and she said no, and then I found everyone else and asked them too, and they all said no.

    I don't get it. It's like they're trying to make me forget Master Karshan as soon as possible.


    I went to meditation class...I don't like meditation class very much. Because Dilan is in it, and none of my friends are. So I'm left to put up with him on my own. I can't stand him. The second I walked in I saw him whispering to someone else, and they were all giggling. Dilan knows something I don't. I can tell, he keeps looking at me and smirking. If Tahl had been there, she'd have had a few choice words to say to him, but she wasn't. So I had to try and meditiate while wondering-panicking about-what this incredibly amusing secret of mine was. Because I don't know.

    I didn't do very well in class.

    Afterwards, I found everyone in the Room Of A Thousand Fountains, and we started talking about Dilan.

    "If anyone should be thrown out, heshould!" Clee said. She was swimming. She likes swimming a lot. She wasn't actually paying a lot of attention to us, because her Mon Calamari friend Nela was there, and they were in the pool together.

    "I don't like him." That was Mace. Mace is the youngest. He's three years younger than me. Binn and Somti are his best friends, they're the ones who stand up for him all the time -although he's pretty good at standing up for himself. Tahl looked the most annoyed. She really, really...dislikes Dilan and his friends. I bet Master Thea has words with her about the things she says about him, which are rude as well as incredibly entertaining.

    Actually, guess what! Tahl's going on her first mission soon! She sounded really excited about it. It's an easy mission, since Tahl hasn't been a Padawan very long, but the way she talks about it you'd think they were going to some place overrun with murderers, droid armies, bottomless pits, and the like. She likes adventure. Did I mention she's got a Padawan braid now? She looks nice.

    And speaking of Padawan braids...when I got back to Master's quarters from the Thousand Fountains room, Master Dooku was waiting, and he told me there was something important concerning my Padawanship that we hadn't done yet. He told me to kneel, and he kneeled too, and then he unbraided my braid- you see, when the Padawan has been with the Master for a few days at least, the Master braids some of his own hair into the Padawan braid. So Master Dooku took out Master Karshan's hair-he gave it back to me, I put it into this tiny box my mother gave me-and then he braided some of his own hair in. So that's it. I am his apprentice till I reach my Knighthood, unless one of us should die or leave the Order.

    Anyway, the sun's setting. Bedtime.

  8. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    5. Glitters In The Light

    1st day,9th month,standard year 24933

    Guess what!

    I'm going to see my parents.

    I don't know why. None of the others have seen their parents in ages. Normally, when you're a Padawan, you don't get to see them at all, not until Knighthood. When Dilan heard me talking about it, he snickered and said 'They just want you out. Don't think they're letting you go because they feel generous." I tried to ignore him. I'm seeing my parents.

    I remember hardly anything about them. I don't even remember at which age I was taken to the Temple-three, I think. Maybe four. I know the planet I was born on is called Toci, and that my parents have always lived there. We're allowed to know a little about our families, after all. I remember Toci was -is- very beautiful. I remember my mother was very beautiful too, and my father, the last time I visited my parents (years and years ago. I was only seven or something) hugged me when it was time to leave again. I had a brother. I don't even rememeber his name. Strange, isn't it, to have almost exactly the same blood as another being and yet not know their name? But I will soon.

    I just asked Master Dooku when we were leaving, and he frowned. "This is not a good idea." he said. "I don't agree with it. To
    answer your question, you should be packing your things now. We're leaving tomorrow."

    I'm not taking much. Only this journal, and changes of clothes, and things I've been given from my parents. There's a little music box from my mother. It plays a Toci tune-it's beautiful. I used to listen to it at nights, then I decided I was getting too old for that. I still like it, though. And then there's a toy. Exactly what it's supposed to be I'm not sure. I think it's a mini-podracer. I think my dad made it. I don't know for certain, but I get the feeling he wasn't much good at making toys. I'd rather have that toy, though, then a expensive, modern, state-of-the-art real-life podracer. I would.

    Then there's the last thing. It's a ring. Yoda told me that when I was taken, my parents gave me the ring. My father slid it off his finger and my mother slipped it onto mine. And then Yoda went off with me. Yoda was the one who found me. He did the midi-chlorian test and everything. The ring is beautiful, like Toci is itself. It's got a little green stone in it, and it glitters in the light. I'm not allowed to wear it, because Jedi aren't allowed to wear jewerly,but I keep it in my pocket wherever I go.

    I'd better start actually packing now.


    2nd day,9th month,standard year 24933

    We're here!

    This is amazing. It's like tons of memories came flooding back into my head. There's books, and paintings- there's one of a boy
    in a field and I just know that used to be in my room. I'm in my room now. My mother told me this was it. It's right at the top of the house, which is far bigger than I imagined. You can see the view from it-it's lovely. There's so much green- and a river. The river of light, it's called.

    My parents...when they greeted me, they looked so happy and yet so sad. I know why, it's because they don't want me to go back.

    They're talking with Master now, but I can't hear most of what they're staying. Just stuff about the Jedi, I think.

    My brother's here as well. He's three years older than me-sixteen. I know his name now. His name is Rek-Gon, and he's even taller than me. His hair's nearly the same colour, but his eyes are lighter, and they're friendly. He greeted me with a 'Hey, squirt,' and I liked him a lot in that one moment.

    I hugged him, and he laughed. He's downstairs now, but he said he'd be coming to talk to me soon. He wants to hear about all the adventures I've had.

    I like him. I like them all.


    I told him everything notable I could think of. I told him about Masters and Padawans, I explained braids and lightsabres- I even showed him mine-and I told him about my friends 'Lucky squirt, getting to hang around with two pretty girls all day..
  9. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    6. The River Stone

    2nd day,9th month,standard year 24933

    Well, I said that I didn't want to leave, and I really still don't want to.

    I heard Mum crying just now, and talking to Dad. I suppose they thought everyone else was asleep, but I wasn't and I heard them.

    "Your hear all these stories." she was crying, "about parents who give up their children to the Jedi, and the next they hear of them is a short message saying they're dead. And I know I'm- going to have to let him go back, Ag-Len,and I..I don't want to. Not again."

    I feel awful. I never want to cause pain to anyone.

    It's really hot. The temperature is nice during the day, but not during the night.

    What shall I do? Because it's like a dream here. Everything is so perfect. And I know that it can't really be so wonderful, is my home planet, after all. It's like...I belong here. But I belong with the Jedi as well. And my family loves me, but so do my friends. And I love them both.

    I'm not going to get any sleep here.

    If I did stay, I would leave behind my friends, and betray the Jedi. Well, sort of. You are actually allowed to leave if you desire that. But it's considered a betrayal by your peers, if not by the Council.

    I'll never be able to sleep. I'll leave a note saying where I've gone and go out for a walk.


    3rd day,9th month,standard year 24933

    Afternoon. Tomorrow morning we're leaving.

    I'll tell you about what happened on my walk, shall I? It was dark and nearing midnight so I took a glow rod and went out. I went down to the river and sat there for ages. Or course I should go back, I am going to go back- but did I really want to? And what if I didn't go back? While I was thinking that, I reached into the water and my hand hit something. It was a rock.

    I'd never seen a rock like it before. It was beautiful. And as I turned it over and over in my hands, I realised someone was behind me. I turned around and saw a man standing there.

    He was old, with whitening hair. His hood was up, so I couldn't see much of his face, really only his eyes, which were very blue.
    "What's wrong?" he asked gently.
    He was someone I could talk to, I knew that right away. "I have to make a hard decision." I said, "and I'm not sure what to do."
    He looked at the rock I held in my hand. "I once had a rock like that. My father gave it to me, and I gave it to own son. Those rocks are special things. It will help you with the choice you have to make." He put his hand on my shoulder, and I said "Thank you."
    "Thank you,too." he said, and walked away. I think he vanished, because when I turned around he wasn't there. I felt scared and sad at the same time, and then I went back
    to the house.

    Which is where I am now.

    Rek took me to his room a few minutes ago and searched in a cupboard for something. He eventually pulled out a ring, one exactly like mine, except the stone was brown, not green.

    "I have one too." he explained. "Thought you might want to see it, before you leave tomorrow."

    I grinned. "Thanks." I said.

    "Hold on a minute." he said, and pulled something else out of a drawer. It was a stack of writing paper, all brown, with a green pen. "For you. So you can write to us. Are Jedi allowed to write?"

    "Not very often."

    "I'll look forward to your letters, anyway."

    I carefully packed the present away in my bag. In a few minutes tea will be ready. The last meal I'll have with my family.
    (We're leaving before breakfast)

    I wonder if Master Dooku thinks I eat too much? I hope not.

  10. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    Echoes From The Past Or Future

    14th day,9th month,standard year 24933

    Master just walked into my room and told me we were both going to Ilum, where I could construct a lightsabre. I sort of stood there and blinked.
    "You mean I'm allowed to make one now?" I said finally. I have a few friends who are older then me- though I don't see them much now- and they say you can't make a lightsabre until you're 'ready'. Was I 'ready'? Because I didn't feel it. My classes weren't that good, and I never do anything special...although, I did work on a lightsabre hilt, with the help of Yoda. But I didn't think I'd be getting crystals for the hilt to complete the 'sabre, not yet, I wasn't ready...

    "Yes," he said. "You are. I've informed the Council that as my apprentice, you should have your own lightsabre to use properly, not one on loan from the Temple." I didn't know what to say, so I made do with "Thank you."

    "That's quite all right." And he gave me a smile- a warm smile- and exited the room.

    You know, since I don't write in this journal much, I haven't actually said what I think of him. My Master. He's...hard to figure out. I suppose if you didn't know him, you'd think he was cold and a little harsh. And he's always hard on me when I'm learning my lessons, but when I've done something right, he gives me a proud look and sometimes a smile. He likes me. A few days ago, after I'd finally got the hang of a really hard kata, he took me aside, smiled and said.

    "Very, very good. You will be a fine Jedi."

    He's like that with the other students too...Yoda asks him to take lightsabre classes sometimes and if a student's just mastered something difficult, he will congratulate them. And,if someone's having difficulty, he'll go over it with them, as many times as needed. I like that about him. He seems to have a soft spot for Tahl, too, I think. Tahl's firey, and not afraid to speak her mind, and I think he likes that, although Yoda says she should control her anger. But I agree with my Master. Tahl is wonderful just the way she is.

    It's been a month, though, a month we've been Master and Padawan, and Yoda came once to check up on us.
    "Not developed a proper bond,yet, have you."
    "The boy is learning, Master." Dooku had said patiently. "In time, we will have a training bond, and a strong one, at that."
    I nodded.
    Yoda gave us both a look. "Be forced upon one for sake of advancement, a training bond should not. Develop with trust and respect, it should."
    "Yes, Master," we both said.

    But we will form a training bond, I'm sure of it. All Master/Padawan pairs do. But what if they don't?

    Never mind. I must pack for Ilum.


    16th day,9th month,standard year 24933

    We're back. And...

    ...and there's so much to tell you I'll never be able to write it all in one entry. But here goes:

    The flight to Ilum was uneventful. So was getting up to the cave where the lightsabre crystals are. I mean, there was plenty of snow, and I was freezing, but we didn't get attacked by any Ilum monsters that I've heard tell of. It was when we got inside the caves that things started happening.

    All these things will probably be garbled and not in the right order and things, but I'm trying. It's just that the caves were...

    ...well, it was like they could see everything. Like they could see inside me, and to the future and to the past, it was like the caves were made of Force...both sides of Force. Maybe that's why I was so scared when I was outside them.

    "Go inside, Padawan," came my Master's calm voice.

    I reached for my training 'sabre and took a step forward, but my Master shook his head.

    "Your weapon is no use here. The only things you will fight here will be your own fears. The only weapon you can use against them is the strength of your soul." He sounded different saying that...older. (He's only twenty-five, after all.) And...sort of warmer, but colder. I know it makes no sense. It was like.. he was disliking the fears...dislik
  11. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
  12. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Feb 9, 2002
    *pants dfor breath* got here as fast as I could!

    Nice posts, I like where this is going and that scene with the cave was chilling!!

    More soon!!
  13. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    Arwen-Jade-Kenobi: Thanks! :)

    8. Like A Rainbow

    3rd day,10th month,standard year 24933

    We're on a ship right now. Only a few minutes before we land, I think.

    Another mission. Sort of my first offical one with Master Dooku. Tahl and Master Thea are with us- I'm not sure why. None of us asked Yoda, or I didn't anyway. This mission doesn't sound particularly dangerous, so I don't know why all four of us are being sent- but never mind. I'm glad to have Tahl with me.

    The planet's called Losta. I had to study it. I read that it's government are corrupt, and eliminate anyone who is opposing them. There's a group of people who want them removed, but they want things to be resolved with as little bloodshed as possible, so they sent for Jedi to negotiate.

    I hope we can help them. The data I studied had pictures too- awful pictures. I don't even like the word torture. It frightens me. I know that's stupid.


    We landed and introduced ourselves. The government leader, along with a man called Alarta of Tynvant, came to greet us. I read a lot of things about the government leader-Kossa, I think his name is- and I was repelled and scared at the same time. His eyes were very blue- he looked nice, not how you'd expect a-well, a murderer - to look. I don't like him at all. I tried not to let it show. But I could tell he didn't like me. Or Tahl. He looked at us like we were silly little children, and didn't even bother speaking to us. Tahl made a face behind his back. Master Thea noticed and frowned, but she seems wary, too.

    We're staying in the Governor's house. It's nice. Sort of too nice. I don't much like it here. It feels like there's something hidden beneath the surface...

    Maybe I'm just paranoid.


    4th day,10th month,standard year 24933

    I couldn't sleep last night. I tried everything. I just couldn't meditate, or get myself to relax, or anything.

    The negotiations are set to start tomorrow. Master Dooku and Master Thea took me and Tahl aside and said we had their permission to leave them for the day, and do what we wanted. They also told us to look out for anything strange or suspious. Tahl asked what exactly we should be looking out for, and Thea said "Just be sure to report back anything, big or small."

    I think they might be keeping something from us. I'd like to know why.

    Tahl seems to be enjoying herself. She's gone to get us some food. She's coming back now.


    Something's happened!

    Me and Tahl ate our food and went for a walk. Well, she ate and I worried.

    "What, exactly, do our Masters want us to do? You'd think they'd be a bit more specific...I think there's something they don't want us to know about..."

    "You are a worrywart," she said, and waved her finger at me. "Don't you want something to eat?"

    "I'm not hungry. I feel anxious."

    "Suits me just fine," she said, and started eating the things she was saving for me. I didn't mind. We kept going and then found a lake. It was a lovely place. It was the bluest lake I'd ever seen and there were statues all around it, with people crowding round and admiring them.

    Me and Tahl found a bench to sit on, and then someone came running through the trees in the forestry area behind us. He yelled, in this incredibly loud voice that could have shattered glass:

    "Demonstration! In the High Street. They're shooting at people!"

    Then I felt a change come over the people...happiness and calmness replaced by anger and excitement. I saw some of them reach for weapons in their pockets. One man drew a dagger. Others had blasters. And a young girl, standing near us-she had a sword. A real sword. Tahl sort of gawped, because you never see weapons like that anymore- they've all been replaced with easier things like blasters. And lightsabres.

    But this huge crowd of people turned and followed the man who had spoken, clutching their weapons and yelling angrily. Then the girl with the sword, running past us behind the oth
  14. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi

    Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 20, 2002
    [face_shocked] Wow!! Very, very interesting!! I am waiting anxiously to see where this is going!! :D
  15. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    Jess: Thanks for reading! *hands you a chocolate Obi*

    9. Where No-One Laughs


    We've been here hours now. Mostly just sitting in the hall, watching people do things. Almost everyone seems to just sit around - some people tell stories to the youngest kids (There's kids as young as four here. I don't even want to think about it.) and some people draw on the walls and things, but no-one laughs.

    Well, Alixen does. She's the only person I've heard laugh. She came through the door a few minutes ago, and said dinner was served. And then she held up some dead animal, and everyone yelled.

    "Get that thing away!"

    "I'm NOT eating that!"

    "I'm not even going near it!"

    "Alixen, don't be stupid." (That might have been Alex, come to think of it.)

    She laughed, and said it was a joke and couldn't anyone take jokes, and walked out. She looked a bit downcast.

    "We should do something for her," I told Tahl.

    "Why, exactly?"

    "Because she's...well, look at her. Look at them."

    "I did," she said softly. "Perhaps you're right. But we have to go soon, anyway."


    We did go. We told Alixen and Alex that perhaps we'd see them tomorrow, and found our way back to the Governor's house, and our Masters.

    We told them what we'd found-the school of kids, and what happened to their parents. While my Master frowned deeply, Master Thea looked horrified. But they shooed us back to our rooms anyway.

    I've decided I can't stand people thinking I'm too young to understand.

    Tahl was really quiet on the way back from the school. I didn't try to ask her why, because if she's being quiet and you try to make her talk, you might get screamed at.


    5th day,10th month,standard year 24933

    We went back there today. Our Masters didn't. I imagine they were working on some part of the mission that we're not supposed to know about. You'd think they'd tell us -maybe they will later...

    They said we had to be back in time for the negotiations. They start in about a quarter of an hour, so I'd better hurry with this.

    We practically ran to the school. Well, I ran; Tahl didn't. She didn't seem very enthusiastic about the whole thing, really.

    "Don't you want to help them?" I asked her. "Don't you even want to see them?"

    She scowled. "Of course I do. But I can't help thinking something's wrong."

    When we got there, I wondered if something was wrong too. Because everything seemed the same as it had been yesterday -except for Alixen. She looked the same -same clothes and same hair - and smiled when we came in, but she just felt different somehow.

    She was with the woman we'd seen our first visit - the only adult there. Alixen's mother. When we got to them, she'd fallen asleep, and Alixen walked to the other side of the room with us following.

    "She's ill," Alixen said matter-of-factly. "Really ill."

    "She's dying," one of the teenagers said. He was older then Alixen and Alex, probably one of the oldest. He was eating something I couldn't identify (and really didn't want to.)

    Alixen looked a little bit torn between hitting him or agreeing with him, but she did neither. She sort of shrugged.

    Tahl said, sounding much softer then she'd sounded with me, "I'm sorry, Alixen."

    Alex chose that moment to come in.

    "There you are," he said, moving towards Alixen. She gave him a look, and he stepped back. "Hello, you two," he said to us. We smiled and nodded, but I was wondering what was going on.

    "We...we want to help you in some way," I tried. "You shouldn't have to live like this."

    Tahl nodded. "I would hate it."

    "What were you thinking of doing?" Alex asked.

    "Well...we told our Masters."

    "And I suppose that helped."

    "No, it didn't. But...the negotiations are starting today."

    "The people in Tynvant care only about themselves," Alixen said, bitterly. "So they'll save their behinds, and things for us will go on as normal."

    "But they..."

    "It's pointless."

    "But you can't sta
  16. JacenHornSolo

    JacenHornSolo Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 29, 2002
    Alrighty, I do like Alixen, Alex, and all (except Dooku ;)). In fact, I love Alixen, and Alex. Good development. I'd like to know more about Tahl, though. ;)

    Interesting story. Keep it going. :)

    Since when do Master's leave their padawans for long periods of time like that?

    One more thing to note, this story is progressing quite nicely, (I also like that you have to pay attention to the dates.) and I don't really care how long it goes on. It's good as a short story, or as a novel. The bigger, the better, though, right? Well, anyway, I must say that Qui-Gon is going to have to have something detrimental happen in his life to change him from shy, worried, scared, little boy into a man. More so than losing his first master. I don't know when this is going to come, or what in the glaxey it will be. That is completely up to you, the author. It may not happen for many, many years, and that would be fine. Just something needs to happen. You've probably already figured that out, though. :)

    Keep it up! :)
  17. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Feb 9, 2002
    I think that all the chars are very cool, and the writing is very well done!

    More soon, I wanna know what happens next and soon!!
  18. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002

    <<Since when do Master's leave their padawans for long periods of time like that?>>
    Dooku does. He much prefers to work on his own with no-one around to disagree with him. :)

    <<It's good as a short story, or as a novel. The bigger, the better, though, right?>>
    Well, I've worked out all the dates, and decided that this story is going to go up to Qui's knighthood- he'll be 35 when this thing ends. [face_shocked] And I'm actually planning this to be a trilogy- after this there'll be Qui's POV of JA, and then of TPM. Boy, it's a good thing I had no life anyway. ;)

    <<Well, anyway, I must say that Qui-Gon is going to have to have something detrimental happen in his life to change him from shy, worried, scared, little boy into a man. More so than losing his first master. I don't know when this is going to come, or what in the glaxey it will be.>>
    Oh, he'll change...slowly, though. Poor guy's got quite a lot of tragedy ahead. :(

    Another reason I wanted to do this journal was to explain how QG became the man we saw in TPM, why he does all the things he does in that and JA. In other words, if you want to know some other reasons behind the argument over Ani, and why he wanted Obi to be a Knight so soon, read on everyone. :D It'll probably be really subtle, but it'll still be there...

    Arwen-Jade-Kenobi: Thanks for reading! The next part will be up tomorrow. Maybe today. :D
  19. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    10. Alixen and Alex

    6th day,10th month,standard year 24933

    We're leaving. We're on the ship home. Tahl's gone somewhere else. She knows when I like to be left alone.

    Just when I was writing the last entry, Master came in. He said we were leaving.


    "The parties have reached an agreement." he said in his elegant voice. "There's nothing left to do here."

    I so nearly said "What about Alixen?" but the Force screamed at me "No!". At least, I think it was the Force.

    "Pack your things." Master said, and bizzarely, I wanted him to put his hand on my shoulder, and tell me Alixen was fine and nothing would happen to her for what she did. But of course he didn't. So as soon as he left, I ran out and downstairs and through countless corridors (They call this a house. It's more like a castle) and then I stopped next to a portrait, one of General Kossa in a heroic pose. The Force told me to take it down.

    I carefully unhooked it from the wall and put it on the floor. There was a door behind it.

    Go down there the Force said.

    I opened the door. Another corridor lay beyond it. The door at the end had a light under it, and that was the one I ran towards.

    I heard Alixen's voice.

    I saw the blood on the door and the walls.

    And although it was stupid (these past few days have really been days for doing stupid things) I opened the door. It opened easily. It was a huge, huge room. Alixen, Kossa and some guards were right down at the other end. They didn't see me.

    Kossa held a stick in his hand.

    "Was anyone with you at all?"

    "I said NO!" Alixen yelled.

    "No-one? No family member? No strangers picked up from the streets?"

    Alixen cursed at him. "No."

    There was a crack and Alixen moaned.

    "Alixen Risus." Kossa said. "Is that really your name?"

    "Yes." She was broken.

    "And this was entirely your own doing?" He gestured to something- a charred mess in the corner. It was a bomb.

    "Yes, I did it myself. It should have killed you. One day, something will, and I'll spit in your face when I see you in hell."

    The guards mades 'Ooooo'-ing sounds and one of them kicked her.

    "Firey little wench, this one." Kossa said. He waved his hand, oh-so-casually.

    "Go on, then."

    One of the guards pulled out a blaster. and pointed it at her.

    She saw me then. She smiled. Then there was a 'zing' noise. It could have been the sound of my lightsabre turning on, or the sound of a speeder zipping past, or the sound of metal hitting metal. but it wasn't. It was the sound of Alixen being put to death.

    I was out of there before they could see me. Back to my room. I told Master about the hidden corridor- and then he put his hand on my shoulder and said "Well done, Padawan." And then he was off.

    I think the Governor got arrested, or something. Something happened, anyway. But I don't know. And I can't make myself care.

    I told Tahl everything, though. She squeezed my hand, and we sat in silence, and then said "Alex."


    "Shouldn't we find him?"

    "We have -what, twenty minutes at best. Maybe if we ran, really really fast...."

    It was silly, but we ran out anyway. Before we were very far away from the house, we ran into Alex.

    He looked at us, we looked at him, and then he turned away. He walked. He kept walking and didn't look back.

    "Alex!" Tahl yelled.

    He didn't answer her. In fact, he started running, and was gone in a matter of minutes.

    Poor Alex.

  20. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Feb 9, 2002
    Nice job, I'm really liking Alex here...

  21. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    Post tomorrow. :)

    Does anyone else want PMing when I update? I'm already PMing JacenHornSolo (even though he didn't say he wanted that. 8-} ) and Jess, do you still want to be PMed...?
  22. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 1, 2002
    This post is probably the shortest so far, but bear in mind that few people, including fictional Jedi-in-training, frequently feel like writing essay-length journal entries every day. ;)

    11. Musings

    9th day,10th month,standard year 24933

    I didn't even know Alixen very well. I wish I had.

    Why did the Force want me to witness her death?



    10th day,10th month,standard year 24933

    It doesn't matter what I feel. I think that Alex, back on Losta, must feel a hundred times worse...


    13th day,10th month,standard year 24933

    Master took me aside today, and apologized to me for leaving me out of things on Losta. "You see, I am used to working
    alone," he told me.

    "But you were Yoda's Padawan. He wouldn't let you do everything on your own."

    "Oh, he wouldn't?"

    He explained everything that went on at Losta - they suspected Kossa had secret rooms in his house where people were murdered, and all sorts of very illegal stuff. I asked him why Master Thea was angry with him. He didn't answer that one.

    It's no wonder we have no Master/Padawan bond.


    18th day,10th month,standard year 24933

    I sound angry in that last entry. My apologies.


    19th day,10th month,standard year 24933

    Well, no-one reads this except me, so there wasn't exactly anyone to apologize to...

  23. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi

    Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 20, 2002
    It's no wonder we have no Master/Padawan bond Ooooooo. [face_shocked]

    8-} Well, if I don't review this story in a while, then feel free to PM me and slap me over the head with a saltwater bass ( 8-}- feeling silly right now.) But I think I can go without the PM notification, just because lately I've been trying to be more responsible, and... ok, not gonna tell you my whole life story here. :D

    ANYWAYS, this is coming out really cool so far! I like this take on a young Qui's life. I would be even more happier if a certain handsome padawan came along soon, but... ;) Just to say, I particularly enjoyed your post with the river stone. [face_love]
  24. JacenHornSolo

    JacenHornSolo Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 29, 2002
    Oooooohhh, very nice.
    I am really enjoying this journal story writing.

    Keep up your excellent job!
  25. jedi7

    jedi7 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 8, 2002
    More journal entries please. :) :D and I'll take a PM every once and a while if possible. Good Job! 7
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