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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

The Guy's Rules

Discussion in 'Denver, CO' started by Obey Wann, Apr 18, 2005.

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  1. Obey Wann

    Obey Wann Former RMFF CR & SW Region RSA star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 14, 2000
    This is a little something I received here in Kuwait. I hope you enjoy it...



    The Guys' Rules

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

    Finally, the guys' side of the story.

    (I must admit, it's pretty good.)



    We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

    Now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are OUR rules!

    Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!



    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

    We need it up, you need it down.

    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.



    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

    Let it be.



    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.



    1. Crying is blackmail.



    1. Ask for what you want.

    Let us be clear on this one:

    Subtle hints do not work!

    Strong hints do not work!

    Obvious hints do not work!

    Just say it!



    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.



    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

    That's what we do.

    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.

    See a doctor.



    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days..



    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

    Don't ask us.



    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.



    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.

    Not both.

    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.



    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.



    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.



    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

    We have no idea what mauve is.



    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

    We do that.



    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.

    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.



    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.



    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.



    1. You have enough clothes.



    1. You have too many shoes.



    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.



    1. Thank you for reading this.

    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
     
  2. k3po

    k3po Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2001
  3. SITH__CHICK

    SITH__CHICK Former RMFF CR star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Funny list, but the "girls" have already figured it (you) out, but thanks for telling us anyway. ;)

     
  4. arrowheadpodracer

    arrowheadpodracer Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 9, 2002
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.

    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.




    Those are my favorites.


    Great list. :cool:
     
  5. Kal-El_Kenobi

    Kal-El_Kenobi Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 28, 2005
    this is my new bible
     
  6. kitarusapien

    kitarusapien Former RMFF CR star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    Nov 19, 2001



    The problem with that list is that even when you point out every "1" on said list, it gets ignored anyway.....FLOL!



    And for the love of the Force, never discuss EITHER "list" within an hour of going to bed.....you'll never get to sleep!!!!





     
  7. Bravo

    Bravo Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2001
    [face_laugh]

    That was great! :D

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

    We do that.


    I love that one! :p My Mom is always complaining about me walking around the house scratching the family jewls...if they itch, I scratch. :p


    -Jason
    Fire Fighter
    Jackson 105 Fire Department
    Coraggio. Honor. Orgoglio. Dovere.
     
  8. Mistress

    Mistress Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2002
    Now I know...and knowing is half the battle.


     
  9. Jedi_Guy16

    Jedi_Guy16 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 28, 2001
    LOL

    That's awesome!
     
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