*Slamming his empty glass onto the grey dura-desk Han began to write, surprised the glass didn’t shatter from the impact* Journal Entry 1 I’m halfway to thirty so I might as well begin writing a diary now. Kriff, Diary sounds so girly, I’m gonna go with journal instead. Last night was a train-wreck. What was I thinking anyway? You see dearest diary it all started when… oh force, I give up… Diary Entry 1 As I was saying my dear diary, yesterday was my birthday. I finally turned twenty-five, but I still feel like I’m nine sometimes. The galaxy is a big scary place, and I’ll never forget what my mother whispered to me before she died: “Persevere, my son, or perish.” To this day those words haunt me and have saved my butt on more than one occasion. My father wasn’t a man of many words; his fists did enough of the talking. Anyway, enough of my childhood. The reason I’m writing to you at all dear diary is to tell you about what happened last night on my birthday. I wanted to go somewhere else than Tatooine, and especially not Mos Espaa for my birthday, but there was a “shipment” that needed delivering to a local swoop track lord named Geron, a slimy Hutt. Not to mention we needed the credits. So I was stuck, but my friends wouldn’t entertain the idea of me sulking on my birthday. Inevitably, Chewie, Kara, Ollie, and Twitch, my crew and best friends took me out in the evening for a night that proved to be legendary. Once I forgot we were stuck on Tatooine, I actually started enjoying myself. And I had enough drinks to put a Bantha to sleep. Things didn’t go wrong until I met Cindy, a friend of a friend of Ollie’s who was stunningly beautiful. One glance at her and I was captivated by shoulder-length flowing blond hair and bright green eyes that shimmered as she strutted over. From the smell of her perfume, a thousand pleasures filled my mind, and I knew I wanted her. I also could guess that she was into me by the way she smiled and placed her hand on my vest in greeting. I wouldn’t say that I’m incredibly handsome, but most women that go to cantinas are attracted to my irrepressible charm. She flirted with me and drunk as I was, I suddenly found myself in one of Mos Espaa’s houses that I assumed to be near the Cantina with her, alone. I stared into the most prominent feature of the room, being a mirror that spanned from one wall to the other. Things were becoming more heated and as I stared into the large mirror. My reflection stared back and a look of boredom was plastered all over his face. I suddenly felt empty, sad even. That was the moment I finally saw myself for what I truly was. I was sharing her bed and I didn’t even know anything about her, only her name, Cindy. When morning came, I felt even more wretched, like my soul had been torn to pieces by a torrent of apathy. I wanted more than anything to truly love and care for someone, to be there for them no matter what. At the same time I knew that I was too jaded for that to ever happen, I was too scared of ever letting my heart be that open to anyone. Silently, my brain feeling on the edge of explosion, I searched for the rest of my clothes and slipped out of her house into the buzz of the sinister Mos Espaa Space Port.