The Hardest Lesson - Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan - JA

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by CYNICAL21, Jun 15, 2002.

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  1. CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 4
    The time has come - or so I'm told - to stop just dipping my toe in the waters of this site - and either jump in or take myself elsewhere. Since I have just learned that I cannot post the next chapter of my magnum opus on FF.N for at least a week, due to hardware problems, I thought this might be the perfect moment.

    I am posting this story here for three reasons: to prove (to all you doubters out there) that I really can write a story and complete it in less than 300,000 words; to demonstrate that I really don't hate Qui-Gon (well, not all the time, anyway); and to convince myself that I really can adhere to a G or PG rating, without developing a hernia or something.

    So anyway - this really will be a short story - five or six posts, at most - and I hope you enjoy it.

    And bear with me while I familiarize myself with this format. If I screw up - I'll fix it - OK?

    *********************************************

    The city of Perimia, poised at the tip of the eastern peninsula of the northernmost continent of the jeweled planet of Kyri, was girded on three sides by the glittering expanse of the Imbrilla Sea. It was a city of washed pastels - and it loved the light, consisting of buildings designed to capture every available nuance of radiance and spin it into a veritable tapestry of variegated luminescence. Thus, within every structure, the floors, composed mostly of pale polished stone, were traced with intricate patterns of light and gradations of color that soothed the eyes and invited contemplative thought.

    Obi-Wan Kenobi thought it the most beautiful city he had ever seen - and reflected, with some small degree of smugness, that he had certainly seen more than his share during the course of his sixteen cycles.

    A brief glance at his Master's serene profile was sufficient to cause the padawan to flush slightly, in the realization that his tiny flare of hubris had been both understood - and dismissed as unworthy of notice.

    It was, nevertheless, a very beautiful world - and it seemed hardly conceivable that such a lovely setting could be the scene of such vile political intrigue that the lives of the royal family - and particularly that of the young heir to the throne - were considered sufficiently threatened to justify the presence of Jedi among the royal entourage for the duration of the formal celebrations leading up to the coronation.

    Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan learner had arrived on Kyri ten days earlier, almost a full week before the actual opening of the celebrations, and had been extremely diligent in their preparations, working with Kyrian security personnel to assure that the transfer of royal power, from grandmother to granddaughter as decreed by both tradition and Kyrian law, would proceed smoothly and without incident.

    And while the Master had trained the queen's bodyguards in methods known ordinarily only to the Jedi, the apprentice had worked with undercover agents who would move among the crowds, to develop clandestine skills that would enable them to anticipate problems before they actually arose - and to become virtually invisible in their roles as observers.

    Qui-Gon - never a man of many words - had watched in silence as his padawan spoke with the young men and women who had volunteered for this duty and administered gentle correction in their methodology where it was justified. Words, after all, were mostly superfluous between the Jedi team, as the training link that joined their minds almost sang with the Master's approval.

    Obi-Wan - ever sensitive to his Master's mood - almost glowed with contentment.

    At the end of long days of fierce labor, Qui-Gon tended to take his ease in meditation in the small garden outside their shared quarters, while Obi-Wan indulged his fondness for the ocean, and for the local sport known as skimming, involving a small, square footboard, a canvas harness attached to a winglike, ribbed structure - and some very large breakers.

    The coronation celebration would begin in earnest today - and, luckily, the apprentice
  2. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Yippee I get to be the first to respond!!!!!

    So happy to see you posting on this forum Cyn!!! This looks like it will be a good one :D I like the idea of Obi falling like this. It even looks like you are going to portray a likeable Qui-Gon..... Wow, I didn't know you have it in you! Not that I disagree with you on the Qui-Gon front :D

    I was sooooooo upset when I saw that you can't post the next installment of AUF until the 21st :( I think you just may need me to beta the next chapter for you, in fact I insist you let me :D :D
  3. Melyanna Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2001
    star 4
    Well, after all of Darth_Tim's raving about how well you write, I found myself compelled to read this - of course, I never read JA, but a recommendation can go a long way. ;) Great job; I'll be reading. :)

    Mel
  4. Naeva Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2002
    Hi Cyn,

    This is the first piece of yours I've ever read and all I can say is: Wow! I'm blown away by this small jem of prose upon which I've stumbled. Please post again soon! :)
  5. Darth_Tim Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 26, 2002
    star 4
    ACCKK!!

    Cyn!! You're here!!

    Wohoo!!

    Alright, you KNOW I'll be reading.

    -Tim
  6. sheleigh Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    Yes! A Cyn story...

    Great begining, I'll definitely be reading!

    Can't wait for more! :D
  7. jedi7 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2002
    star 4
    [face_love] [face_love] LOVE [face_love] [face_love] *sigh* poor Obi :) 7
  8. shanobi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    Wow! First ewen posts a fic and my jaw drops, and when i sign on today I find that CYN has posted one here as well....what madness is this?

    I don't know and I don't care, I just want more :D Off to a wonderful start this fic is. Thank goodness you're posting something in the interim until you can post on AUF again. I think I would go mad otherwise.

    Poor Obi, in for a heartbreak I fear. Thank goodness there is no bastard Qui in this one to make matters worse. Can't wait for more.

  9. CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 4
    Hey - you guys are making me feel like a prodigal child, or something. Thanks for the warm welcome - and I promise I will NOT take a week to write the next post.

    And indulge me for a moment, if you will, while I mention something here that I hope people will see and understand. I'm being deluged with requests to e-mail the next chapter of AUF, in light of the vast wasteland that FF.n has become since yesterday - but I simply do not have the time to comply - and I'd almost certainly crash my e-mail system if I even tried. (It's very balky!!)

    As I mentioned on RED's thread, I have considered posting it here - as a sort of "excerpt from" type thing (I think it's clean enough) - but am not sure how the TF.n authorities would feel about that.

    Any comments of suggestions would be welcome - and thanks again for your kindness. :)
  10. ApprenticeM Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2001
    star 4
    A new Cyn story?!?! :D :D You know you spoil us, but please, go right ahead!

  11. Cascadia Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    So glad you posted a new story here. :D I love it, CYN. Poor Obi, thinks he's in love, but at least Qui sees what's happening and can offer whatever guidance he can. I can't wait for the next part. :)

    Thank you for giving us AUF-nuts something to chew on while FFN hopefully gets things fixed.
  12. Jane Jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    I think I like this! I'll be watching for more, despite the hint that there might be a painful ending to Obi-Wan's first love. I had to smile at Qui-Gon's "Why me?"
  13. sabercrazy Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2002
    star 4
    Hey CYN!!

    WOW. A story that's not rated X or something! :p JOKING!

    <<Why me?>>

    This is great! Obi's first crush. How sweet!

    I'm quickly assembling a list of fav storys to eagarly watch...and I know this one is going to be right up there with the best of them.

    Please fulfill your promise not to have a week between posts. :)
  14. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    A Cyn story!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

    Hehe, when I read your explanation for the reason for writing this fic, I had to grin. Short, PG rated, and not hate Qui-Gon? It may be tough, but you're definitely doing an excellent job of it.

    Ack, I've been going nuts checking for the new AUF chapter... :_| FF.net pics horrible times for the server failures... Hehe, but I'm glad to find this.

    So Obi's going to learn about love? Ha! Qui-Gon's last thought covers that quite well, I think. I can't wait to read more!
  15. Seven Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2000
    star 3
    Yippee!!

    I could sing this story is so great, but since I have a cold and it would spread germs, I won't.

    This is a wonderful story, and please write more! This is one of my favorites!
  16. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Cyn

    Good to hear you wont make us wait for a week for the next chapter, waiting can drive you mad :D Then again sometimes anticipation (I fell like I should start silling like Carly Simon.... oops does that show my age or what?!?!?) is half the fun. I look every day to see if you have posted on AUF, several times a day as a matter of fact. It's like a kid waiting for christmas and when *your* gift arrives they are never..never a let down. By the time the 21st arives I will be a raving maniac :D :D
  17. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Cyn posting HERE!?!?! And a story that doesn't contain...well y'all know...the USUAL stuff we're all used to (grins wickedly) [face_devil]

    And as usual a total hooker of a start! (Nope, not reference to a certian chapter of AUF just a real bad pun!) [face_laugh]

    *ties self to chair in anticipation of EVERY chapter to come*

    WOO HOO!!! :D

    ~GN/GJ~ :cool:
  18. TheFallen Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2001
    star 4
    You might not have a hernia adhering to the G - PG rating, but I just about had one when I saw this on the page.

    Imagine my suprise when I'm just scrolling along and see, oh - Hmm - The Hardest Lesson? Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan - JA? Might just check it out... who's it b - CY...NI... :eek:

    Is it time for the end of the world? :p Okay, so to the actual review - yeah, big surprise that I'm infatuated with this already. ;)

    I'm still sad that I won't be able to read the next chapter(s) of AUF for a week, though. :( Does that mean we get extra when you do? ;) ;) :D
  19. CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 4
    Never let it be said that I don't keep my word. :D So hear goes Part II. After slaving for hours and hours over each chapter of AUF, this is a breeze.

    Oh, and BTW, since I completely forgot it in my first post, let's get the disclaimer out of the way here and now. Everything belongs to George - even Obi-Wan belongs to George, who couldn't care less - and is that the height of unfairness in the universe or what?

    The only reward I reap from this is the warm satisfaction of imagining myself hanging like a spider on the wall, watching it all happen.

    Enjoy, All.

    ********************************************


    When the queen and the queen-to-be were seated side-by-side on identical carved thrones, inlaid with bars of intricately carved bone and etched rare metals, the Jedi were led forward by Lord Kaffia and directed to kneel on small padded platforms located at the edge of the royal dais.

    Qui-Gon was extradordinarily grateful to note that his apprentice - despite being almost completely befuddled, as evidenced by the deafening silence of the link between them - was functioning at an acceptable level - or rather, would be, if he would simply close his mouth, which was showing an unfortunate tendency to gape.

    Under the pretense of adjusting the clasp of Obi-Wan's cape, the Master leaned forward to place a forefinger under the dimpled chin - and push up firmly.

    The padawan learner regarded his Master with uncertainty, then seemed to shake off the lethargy that had gripped him - and managed to keep his lips sealed, as they knelt as directed.

    "Majesties of Yesterday," intoned Lord Kaffia, bowing toward Queen Nemis, "and Tomorrow," turning to bow toward Princess Trell. "May I present Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, and his padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

    Nemis'smile was brilliant as she rose and came forward. "Oh, do let's dispense with all this formality, Kaff. Master Jinn and I are very old friends - as you well know."

    "Your Majesty," said Qui-Gon quietly, taking the hand she extended and raising it to his lips, "it is our great joy to see you healthy - and unharmed - and we offer our services in your protection - and that of your young successor, of course."

    The Queen regarded him with warm eyes. "Have you really changed that much, Jinn? Have they finally managed to turn you into Mace Windu?" Her eyes were bright with laughter as her gaze moved to study the apprentice. "Or are you just trying to impress your young companion?"

    Qui-Gon, determined to preserve his own dignity, remained silent - but Obi-Wan was forced to suppress a smile as a glance at his Master revealed laughter that was proving extremely difficult to stifle.

    The queen stepped to the side then, and looked down into the changeable eyes of young Kenobi, her expression very gentle. "My," she said softly, "they get younger every year, don't they? How old are you, Child?"

    Obi-Wan felt the beginning of a blush warm his throat - and grabbed for equanimity in the Force, determined not to embarrass himself like a stammering school boy. "I turned sixteen last quarter," he replied, with only a very small tremor in his voice. "I assure you, your majesty, that I am quite old enough - to do my job."

    She smiled and braced her face with hands as soft as brushed silk. "Jedi to the core - of course. One wonders, sometimes, where in the universe the Temple manages to find such perfection."

    With a last lingering caress, she moved back to take her seat on her throne; and then it was the Princess' turn.

    As Trell rose and stepped forward, the contrasts between her and her grandmother were immediately obvious. The elder sovereign moved with great grace and fluidity - but she lacked a sense of immediacy and purpose. The same could not be said for the princess; one knew immediately that she would never divert from her chosen course; Trell would never take three steps - when two would suffice.

    "Master Jedi," she said firmly, addressing Qui-Gon first - as was proper. "Padawan Kenobi." There was absolutely nothing in her demeanor t
  20. sheleigh Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    I'm begining to sound like a broken record when I read your stories... but wow! Loved it!

    The interaction between Obi-Wan and Trell is so wonderful... not to mention that Qui-Gon isn't acting like a jerk... or whatever you prefer to call him.

    More soon, right? :D

  21. ewen Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Too Bad you can't post at FF.net.While I too am old enough to read or write adult FF.I am also old enough to respect the wishes of this board, without making complaints about it.

    Hey,I'm even old enough to read a story without smut in it and enjoy it just as well as an "adult" story.

    Its a good thing Lucas did not mirror you views of G or PG, we might have ended up with an X-rated Episode II and alot of young people missing out on the epic Saga. PEACE Ewen

    PEACE Ewen
  22. PadawanKitara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    3 days sunbathing by the pool with the purrrrfect padawan? Definitely too good to resist.

    Welcome Cyn

    I logged on to find two absolutley wonderful chapters of a new story. Life can't get much better than this. :) Although I am trying hard to make it so. Off to see EP II in digital tonight.

    See my note to you at RRK's re: FF.N. I got on last night and some authors were able to post. But, I couldn't get on at all this afternoon.
  23. Cascadia Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Obi's so sweet. Who COULD resist that offer?

    Once again, wonderful post, CYN. :)
  24. sabercrazy Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2002
    star 4
    Hey...I didn't have to wait long at all. COOL!! :D

    You practically had my head spinning with all that talk of bloodlines and susseccions.

    Three days with Mr. Epitome of hotness himself? Is that derived from your own imagination CYN? :p (like I had to ask)

    I'd give almost anything to watch with a pair of binoculars.

    :[face_sigh]:

    [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]



  25. obi_ew Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    A Cynical story here!? :eek: For aminute there I thought I took a wrong turn.Great having you post here but I am really going to have a hard time accepting PG rated descriptions of our beautiful Obi-Wan.And a nice Qui-Gon?What's next Cyn ? A pro-Anakin story? :D
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