Before - Legends The Harem Stories (LOTR/SW/KH crossover, updated 12\31! The Harem is back, fractured but unbroken!

This is really more LOTR at times then SW, but Xan is in it at all times, Obi might show up in a bit and such.

This is based on the boy wars in The Fortress in Resource. Of course, most of us were fighting for Legs, and he isn't here so...

I wish to thank all the wonderful girls, and the amazing guys that have stuck around there for the last year. Long Live the Fortress!

The title has nothing to do with the series really. This is suppose to be humor, though with my humorless sense, who knows. The only reason the boy group is called The Harem, is because I had no other idea what to call a group of eight guys.

Thank you, please enjoy, and if you have time, review, I would be most grateful!

Also, you really don't have to know anything except about Xan for this, as I will be explaining things as it goes along.

The Harem Stories

In the early year of the rising of the great and powerful Fortress, otherwise the year of 2002, the fiery and destructive Empress, soon to be named Exiled Empress for reasons untold, and won?t be told here,(Possibly because there was already another Empress there?) gathered a large group of male beings after the example of her fellow great Fortress women. But tis, a cry raised up for her to return those beings, and so she did, though she kept the best among them.

Glor: (Don?t be a fool, Xanatos, she chose those that were less in demand.)

Xan: (Shut up, Glorfy.)

Glor: (It?s Glorfindel!)

Xan: (Whatever.)

Thus, the number dwindled to six, and peace reign among the boy group.

EcthExcept when Xanatos tried to kill Glorfindel.)

Xan: (Glorfundel, shut your boy toy up.}

Glor: {Its Glorfindel, and Ecthelion is not my boy toy!)

Then the lady saw fit to name us the Harem, and finally, a short while ago, two new members were added, and the Harem?s final number became eight.

Starting by oldest to youngest, I shall introduce each member of the Harem.

Figwit: (Should we allow him to do this?)

Xan: (Its necessary, Figwit, now go away!)

First and oldest, is Glorfindel. Balrog slayer, Elf reborn, dedicated to Lord Elrond of Rivendell, all around scary Elf. He is the leader of this band, only following the lady?s orders, other wise, he orders us around. Have to admit, the parties he throws are great, even for an evil Elf from Mandos like him.

Glor: (Xanatos, I am warning you?)

Xan: (I?m just stating the facts!)

Though he is very caring towards the members, for the most part, and rarely tries to kill anyone but me, but then again, he might have good reasons to? Can easily be spotted by his famed golden hair, considering he is the only light blond in the Harem? Anyways, moving on!

Ecthelion is our second oldest, and therefore second in command next to Glorfindel. Less as uptight and stable as his best friend, Ecthelion is fun to be around with, if he wasn?t always around Glorfindel.

Glor: (You are just aiming to make me look like a bad guy in this?)

Xan: (And your point, Glorfindel?)

He?s a silver headed Elf with the loving nickname of Fountain?s son, which ironically, he drowned in one too?. Anyways, he is also a Balrog slayer, though not officially resurrected, (our lady bribed Mandos, amazing?) and also the Head of the House of the Fountains.

Next, is Haldir, who just came in a while ago. He gained our lady?s support when he died in the movie. So now he is somewhere between book and movie verse. Movie looks for the most part, book brain for the most part. Strange? For the most part, he is a nice Elf, with the oddest sense of humor. We must have driven him crazy as soon as he got here. Good [Flashes grin, blinds a few people.]


Now Elladan and Elrohir, and I?ll keep this together, since its impossible to separate them, why separate the commentary? They are the twin sons of Elrond, loyal, brave, and evil tricksters. They make up for it by being the healers in the group. (Which we need badly.) But they play the most sithly tricks at times. Makes you wonder what Elrond was teaching them in Rivendell. Or

 

Hey Neon!

Um, excuse my blondeness, but.. what's KH??

 

Miana Kenobi: Hi! No need to apoligize. I should be the one to do that, Opps. KH is a video game called Kingdom Hearts. Its the tale of a boy named Sora, and the betrayel of his best friend, Riku, though that is not the center plot. I'm rather obessed with it. But you don't need to know anything about it to enjoy this.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
First off, you need to understand where we came from, and how we got here. Not that it?s really important or anything, except for me, but hey, I?m always important.

We?ll start with Glor first, cause he actually got here before I did.

Rather boring story really. Ne took a fancy to him, hunted him down like an animal, and brought him home. The End

Glor: (Xanatos, you know that wasn?t what happened to me!)

Xan: (So?)

Glor: (Remember the arrow, Xan?)

Well, actually, he was wondering Middle Earth, bored to death with nothing to slay, as the orcs were either dead or in hiding, and the Balrogs were all gone. He didn?t want to go to Aman, because he was scared of Elrond?s habits? Ne, who had quickly gained an obsession for him, came to him and asked if he wanted to visit another age. He agreed, after persuasion?

Glor: (Torture you mean. I never thought such perfect creatures could be so?.)

Xan: (Evil?)

Glor: (Worse.)

Then she came to me. You see, to save myself from my former Master?s ?justice?, I tossed myself into an acid pool. I didn?t have enough time to build a force bubble around me, but she saved me. Giving me a choice, die or come with her. Not much of a choice, is it? Well, obviously you can see what I chose. Force help me, I sometimes wish I turned myself over to Qui-gon!

E-dan: (We love you too, Xan, now get on with it.)

Xan: (Shut up, Elladan.)

Then Figwit. We don?t know what happened there. He must?ve slipped in through the back door; he certainly disappears out it at times?. Ne must?ve thought he was a stray or something?.

Figwit: (That really is mean to say, Xanatos.)

Xan: (Thank you, pouty)

Figwit: (That is it!)

[Sounds of fighting in the background.]

Glor: (I think I better take over.)

Glorfindel here, Xan is currently. [Glances at fight.] indisposed? But I can continue this.

Xan: (No you don?t, Glor! Get off, Figwit!)

[Crash is heard.]

Okay, Xanatos is back! Knew that old Silm? Silma?Silmaril?? Oh forget it, that pretty jewel in the corner was useful?.

Now to Ecthelion, now that was interesting? Ne somehow got the idea that she wanted another Balrog slayer, and went to Mandos. Mandos was rather unwilling to give up the fairest voice of the Noldor [snickers] but Ne bribed him. She never told me how she did it, but from the rumors I?ve heard?. No, I better not, Ne hasn?t tortured me in a while, and I don?t want to risk my luck.

Then the sons of Elrond came into our mist, and all Force hell broke loose because of it. Why did Ne want the demons anyways?

E-hirXan, to let you know, Glor isn?t the only one who has an arrow with your name on it?)

Xan: (Right, Elrohir.)

Well, Neon couldn?t have Elrond, (because the last time she tried to take him, his wife intervened, wasn?t pretty,) she went after his sons. They were more then willing, considering they were trying to get off Aman to get away from their father?s embarrassing habits?

Then Haldir, oh Force, that was a mess. Ne got his support after he died. She went to Mandos again, and begged his release, then to Galadriel. Not a good thing. Ne is now sensitive to the subject of lightening? But she got her man, or should I say Elf. But when the two met, they melded, so now we have our rather twisted movie/book Haldir.

Finally, down to Riku. Nothing, no info. He isn?t talking, he won?t talk, he never has, about this subject. I give up on him when it comes to this!

Riku: (Thank you, Xan.)

Xan: (I hate you, Riku.)

Riku: (Love you too, Xan.)

Xan: (Grumbles)

Now we start. The first day the Harem was fully together. ?. Sith, I?ll have to continue this later; Ne hates it when I get on her comp.

 

Under threat of at least six arrows and a sword, I?ve been forced to tell it as it is, as if I wasn?t going to do that anyways!

One day sometime last year:

?Is there anything to do?? Elladan asked.

I looked up from my reading and raised an eyebrow at him, ?You, prince of jokes, can?t find anything to do??

?No, I can?t, Xan, I?ve already tricked you more times then can be named, Glor is impossible, Figwit is never here, Elrohir is my twin, and Ecthelion is under Glor?s protection,? Elladan sighed.

?Watch a vid,? I suggested, and returned to my reading.

?No, rots the brain, as Ne says,? Elladan said.

?Then how about you guys gather the rest and greet these two?? a rather unhappy voice said.

Bookmarking my spot, I looked up to see Neon at the door, her normally well kept blond hair standing on in, and seemingly large amounts of clothing ripped off as well.

?Playing rough without us, dear?? I asked pleasantly.

?Shut up, Xan, if you want to keep your tongue,? she hissed, and led in two new guys, one who looked like a boy near her age, and the other an Elf.

?Not another one,? I groaned.

?Haldir!? Elladan exclaimed, his shout bringing the other Elves running from wherever they were at the time.

Of course, they mobbed the poor Elf before he got through the door, while I calmly approached the human. You don?t know how glad I was to see another human guy! Living with Elves can drive a man up the walls at time; they?re too clean and unnatural if you ask me.

?Welcome to the Harem,? I told the white haired kid.

?Thanks,? the kid said, and glanced at the goggle of Elves.

Elves can resemble fan girls at times, amazing.

?I gotta change, guys,? Ne said, and walked, more like stalked off, mumbling something about evil Elf witches and lightening.

?Can we follow?? I asked.

?As every time, NO!? Ne snapped, and disappeared into the bathroom.

?You realize one day, she has to give in,? I said, then grinned, ?So, kid, what are you??

?Don?t you mean who?? the kid asked.

?No, what?? I said.

?Obviously I?m human, and my name is Riku,? the kid stated.

?And?? I pressed.

: ?And what?? Riku asked.

?Ne doesn?t choose regulars, kid. You either have something she likes other then your looks, or you just crawled in here, like Figwit,? I said.

I could feel Figwit glare at me, but I ignored him, as always.

?Well, I?m one of the wielders of the key blade, and I?m trained in the use of two swords at once,? Riku said.

?Another destiny boy, Sith. Ah well, you?re human, thank the Force,? I sighed.

?Xan, leave the kid alone,? Glorfindel said, and came over to place an arm around the kid?s shoulders, ?Don?t listen to Xan, he?s just a dark sider that went nuts sometime during his stay with us.?

?I?m a dark sider as well,? Riku said, then quickly adds, ?But I?m trying to reform.?

?Good, come on over and meet the rest,? Glorfindel said, guiding him over to the Elves, (And his doom, poor kid, brainwashed by the Elves).

?So, Haldir, book or movie?? Ecthelion asked.

?I say movie from the looks of him,? Figwit said.

?No, he acts more book if you ask me,? Elrohir said.

?We didn?t ask you, now did we, brother?? Elladan said, a slight smile on his lips, ?So, what is it, Haldir??

?Both, and neither,? Haldir said, and smirked.

?Come on, Haldir, don?t mess with us,? Elladan sighed.

?I?m not messing with you. Its both and neither,? Haldir said, his smirk becoming a grin.

?Watch it, Haldir, you confuse them enough, and they may come after you,? Glorfindel warned, suppressing a laugh.

?I know these two and their tricks. The sons of Elrond are quite famous in Arda. Beside that, I am not trying to confuse them; I am merely stating the truth. I was merged together in a freak accident, so now I am both book and movie, yet neither as I am new,? Haldir said.

?Why didn?t you say that before, Haldy,? Elrohir said, and rolled his eyes before turning towards Riku, ?You?re not evil, are you??

?Well, what?s your definition of evil?? Riku asked.

?The type t

 

*Rolls on the ground laughing*

You saved my Xani!!!! *Runs up and kiss Xani, then runs back and hides in shadows*

OK, OK. I stop acting like a dork now.

 

Xanatos_son_of_Crion: LOL, of course I saved Xani, keeping him alive is the problem!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Xan: (Owww, dang Elves, can?t take a joke. Hey, Hey! I didn?t mean it, okay!)

Glor: (Get going, Xan.)

Day Two:

?Hmmm, looks like a customer, or should I say victim?? I said, recognizing the figure walking in, ?Ohhhh, Obi-wan! Its your turn again?! I thought Qui Qui told Ne to leave you alone!?

?Shut up, Xanatos, and why did you just call Master Qui-gon Qui Qui?? Obi-wan asked, walking over to me and looking down at me strangely.

?It was Ne?s fault, I keep picking up her Force cursed nicknames,? I muttered.

?Can?t blame everything on her, Xanatos, except for the new inflictions I am about to receive,? Obi-wan said, and grimaced.

?She is a torture writer,? I said, and shrugged.

?I prefer Angst writer. Come on in, Obi, I can?t keep you too long,? Ne said, coming from her room.

?Off to the chopping block,? Obi-wan sighed and walked off towards the room.

I grinned slyly, as it is well known I love it when Obi gets it, because that means I usually don?t, plus, the brat needs a lesson!

I returned to my reading, (I tend to do a lot of that, Ne won?t let me do anything eventful, like take over the universe.) and was just getting to a good part when troublesome six came in, jabbering like Wookiees.

?I have fan girls!? Glorfindel?s rather loud voice shouted above the din.

?Not as many as us!? Elladan and Elrohir chimed in.

?Well, I can?t argue, I only have about two,? Ecthelion sighed.

?Well, I have an entire fandom devoted to me,? Figwit said.

?And I have a protection center. But we have to admit, we are all beaten, even if we put together all our girls, we are still beaten. You know of whom I speak,? Haldir said.

The Elves quieted, put a hand to their hearts and bowed their heads as if in grief.

?Poor Legolas,? Elrohir murmured.

?Maybe someone should shoot him and send him to Mandos to ease his pain,? Elladan suggested.

?No, tried that, they just found him there,? Glorfindel said.

?Fan girls cannot be all that bad?? Ecthelion trailed off at the deadly looks the others shot him.

?No, they are worse,? Glorfindel said softly.

?I?d hate to break up this little gabble, but where is the kid?? I asked, standing up slowly.

?Riku? We haven?t seen him,? the Elves said as one.

I forced down the habit to run away when they get like that, Elves are scary when they seem to share a mind?

?Well, I thought he was going after you six,? I said, also pushing down my panic.

?You lost him!? we all accused each other.

?Oh, Sith, if Ne finds that he?s gone?.? I murmured, then pointed to Elladan and Elrohir, ?You two, distract her for as long as possible, we?ll find the kid.?

?Did Glor die and make you boss? Cause I see that he is still breathing,? Elladan said, and smirked.

?No, I didn?t die, though Xan has a point. Get going or I?ll have Ne send you back to your father,? Glorfindel said and crossed his arms.

They both paled considerably, but Elrohir spoke up, ?You can?t do that. Ne doesn?t listen to you, she just beats you senseless.?

?Oh yes she does, why do you think I let her beat me senseless, other then the comfort sessions?? he glances around as if to make sure Ne isn?t around, ?Who do you think got her to put you two in dresses??

All color abruptly left the twins? faces, and they ran off towards Ne?s office.

?I love my job,? Glorfindel said and smirked, then looked at me, ?Well, Xan, where would you hide if you were him??

?You just asked me that because I?m human, didn?t you?? I asked, and sighed, ?I wouldn?t hide, I would chop you all to bits and kidnap Ne.?

?As if I wouldn?t shoot you first,? Ecthelion said under his breath.

?You know, Glor, one of these days, your boy toy needs to stop defending you,? I said.

?As I have said a million times, I am not his boy toy,? Ecthelion grumbled.

I opened my mouth to reply, but Glorfindel quickly put a hand over my mouth.

?This is not the time to discuss if Ec

 

?Oh, Sith, if Ne finds that he?s gone?.? I murmured, then pointed to Elladan and Elrohir, ?You two, distract her for as long as possible, we?ll find the kid.?

?Did Glor die and make you boss? Cause I see that he is still breathing,? Elladan said, and smirked.

?No, I didn?t die, though Xan has a point. Get going or I?ll have Ne send you back to your father,? Glorfindel said and crossed his arms.


?Riku? We haven?t seen him,? the Elves said as one.

I forced down the habit to run away when they get like that, Elves are scary when they seem to share a mind?

?As I was saying. Haldir, you go with Figwit, I shall go with Ecthelion, and Xan, you go by yourself. Don?t kill the kid,? Glorfindel said, then grabbed Ecthelion?s arm and walked off.

?I?m not suicidal,? I mumbled.

?Right, Xan, that is why you jumped into a pit of acid,? Figwit said, then walked off with Haldir.

?I thought I could make it!? I yelled after him, only to hear Elven snickers as a result.






R.L.H.L!!!!!!!!!!!



(Really Loud Hystarical Laughter)



The elves are sooooo funny when they compare fan girls. I loved it when you made Legolas cry. (No, I do not hate Legolas, I just like it when he gets turtored and stuff) And I liked how Riku was the only smart one in the group 'cause he didn't get into the fight. (Don't worry Xani, I still love you) And Xanatos now has uneven hair!!!


Too funny!

 

Hey Neon, I was just thinking. We are painting our living room today, and I suddenly got to thinking how Riku, Xanatos, and the elves would react if they all had to paint a room together. I don't know if you want to add something like that to your story or not, just thought it'd be interesting. But, whatever. I love the story so far. The way they all fight with each other is so funny, considering they are all supposed to be adults. Also, I've never heard of Kingdom Hearts (?) Could you PM me with more about it? If you've got time, though, 'cause I know you have a lot of stories you're working on.

*Waits expectingly for next post.*

 

UP!

 

UP!

 

UP! New post, Please!

 

UP!!!!

 

*Staps foot*
(Speaking to the thread)

I am commanding you to *grunt* stay (Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to step on you) UP!

HA! Now be a good little thread and stay there!

 

Aah! It fell again.

UP!

 

UP!!

 

Ho!

Lord of the rings and Starwars!

Nice to put together these two great works of fiction.

 

*Sob*

Neon Star, you're not going to abandon this, are you?

It's too good to die.

 

UP!

 

UP!

Post soon, I hope.

 

Neon, are you trying to kill this thread?

Please come back! We miss you!

 

Xanatos_son_of_Crion: You're going by Xeana, right? I'll be happy to send you info on KH, sorry it took so long on that. Glad you really like this story, and I'll keep that idea in mind. Thanks for kicking it up so many times, and though the posting is slow, I won't abandon this. Sorry for the wait.

Keeper_of_Swords: Yeah, its a nice mix to write.

Orphen, Hartia, and Lai belong to the anime Orphen, Seph belongs to Final Fantasy seven. They're just a brief showing, and might pop in once in a while.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

?Orphen, stop blowing up Seph, Seph, stop threatening Hartia, Hartia, stop annoying Lai, Lai, get out of the corner; this is not the time to be looking into the future! XANATOS!?

Glancing up from his book, said dark haired hotty looked over at his irate mistress, ?Yes??

?Get over here, or I swear your missing lightsaber will find a very painful place to reside,? Neon muttered, glaring at him.

?I really wish you would give me that back. I promised not to cleave Glorfindel open again, didn?t I?? Xanatos asked, turning on one of his blindingly charming white smiles.

?You did, then you went back and did it again. So no lightsaber until you get over your hatred of golden Elves. Now get your self over here, or so help me,? Neon threatened, holding up said lightsaber.

?Yes, dear,? Xanatos sighed, getting up and sauntering over to the seething writer, ?What do you wish??

?I want to know how your little project with the boys are going. I need some news, and since my comp hasn?t blown up, I?m suspicious,? Neon said, crossing her arms and gazing up at the rather tall dark knight.

?Well? You see? Since Glor and I have been at ends for a while, and Riku is no longer speaking to anyone, we haven?t been working on it?? Xanatos trailed off, gazing nervously down at the petite, but scary writer.

?No wonder I?ve been getting those messages? Well, you better get to working on it, pretty boy, or I?ll be cutting cords, in several places,? Neon said, uncrossing her arms to again hold up the lightsaber threateningly.

?But, Glor won?t speak to me, Ecthelion keeps shooting at me if I get close to Glor, the twins are missing two thirds of the time, who knows where Figwit is, Haldir is guarding the door, and Riku won?t leave his rooms because Seph has joined our little Harem. How can I finish it alone?? Xanatos protested.

Neon sighed, ?You just don?t know how to handle them. Here, I?ll get them to you, and then I want you working. By the way, what day are you on??

?Four?? Xanatos said, looking for an escape route.

?FOUR! This project is months old and yet you?re only at four! Oh, that does it. I want all members of the Harem to get out here this instant or it will be a free for all in the torture room tonight!? Neon yelled, fire in her eyes.

The four newer members of the Harem ran over, Seph trailing soot behind him while the two sorcerers and one seer walked beside him, Orphen making sure he was between Seph and Hartia, and Lai took to Hartia?s other side. They had all heard about the torture room, though none had been unlucky enough to warrant going yet, and they would like to keep it that way.

?No, I don?t need you four. Go about your business,? Neon sighed as she spotted the older members of her long-suffering Harem slink from their places.

An arrow whistled past Xanatos, and he ducked behind Neon.

?Ecthelion, I assure you, Xan won?t gut Glor again. I?ve made sure of that?? Neon said, glaring first at the black haired dark Jedi cowering behind her, then at the silver haired Elf hovering near Glorfindel.

?Very well, but if he makes one move towards Glorfindel?? Ecthelion trailed off, his unsaid threat hanging in the air like a knife aimed at Xanatos.

?Ecthelion, I do not need to be guarded twenty four/seven, Xan and I have differences, and have killed each other many a time. As long as Neon has her resurrection powers, or someone does it for her, we will be fine,? Glorfindel assured his bond brother, sighing softly in irritation.

?As you say.

 

You stole Xan's lightsaber?!? ROTFLOL!

Seven months to report on, and they're ony on day four. Oh man.

That really made my day. I love your stories, Neon. They are always so funny!

Yeah, I go by Xeana now.

 

Nice continuation.

An arrow whistled past Xanatos, and he ducked behind Neon. .

This is great, because in a book you would find.....Xanatos bravely pushed Neon away from the arrow, in order not to be hit.

 

*Giggles*

Just Upping!