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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends The Heat Within Series (NJO, K/J) -- Part II has been posted!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Amidala_Skywalker, Nov 28, 2003.

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  1. Bellyup

    Bellyup Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2002
    Oohh...I will be awaiting the PM with great anticipation!
     
  2. Amidala_Skywalker

    Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    I guess that evil eye of doom really worked ;). Thanks, Bellyup!

    I just completed a 22-page post for this fan fic. I have sent it off to my beta-readers, but they?re not miracle workers, so expect it in a few days.

    Am [face_love]
     
  3. _3MD_PsychoSniper

    _3MD_PsychoSniper Jedi Youngling star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 2003
    Sweet.

    PM me when its up
     
  4. Bellyup

    Bellyup Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2002
    I guess that evil eye of doom really worked.

    Whoopee!!! Twenty-two pages of Amsie NJO! :D EDIT: [voice_Amsie]!!!WOW!!![/voice_Amsie]

    Thanks, Bellyup!

    Oh, no problem. Ask me to do it whenever you want... ;)
     
  5. SaberBlade

    SaberBlade Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2001
    Woohoo, a post soon! C'mon, betaers, whoever ye are, work magic!

    -Saber
     
  6. JainaDurron

    JainaDurron Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 8, 2002
    I've worked my magic! :D

    ~~Jilly
     
  7. Bellyup

    Bellyup Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2002
    Naw, Jilly-you are magic!

    *winning smile*

    And everything you touch turns to gold!

    *forced winning smile* :D

    Like stories!

    *smile* :)

    Like...your story, Redemption.

    *face* [face_plain]

    Which you aren't touching!

    *scowl* :mad:

    We even gave you chocolate Kyps for inspiration...

    *sulk*
     
  8. JainaDurron

    JainaDurron Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 8, 2002
    We even gave you chocolate Kyps for inspiration...

    *sulk*


    Well then I guess I won't tell you that I'll have a new post up tonight then huh?

    ~~Jilly
     
  9. Amidala_Skywalker

    Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    Okay, everyone, here is the long awaited postie! I apologise for my tardiness. I hope the length of this section makes up for the delay! However, before you settle down with your favourite beverage and read this fan fic, I have a few things (quite a number, actually ;)) to say beforehand. Sorry to weigh you all down, but you know, it comes with the territory! :D

    Firstly, thank you to my ever wonderful beta-readers, who read through 20-some pages of my work. Force knows how you put up with my errors, which are all too often silly mistakes. I would also like to welcome NarundiJedi to my ever-growing team of beta-readers! I do feel the need to note that I am going ahead and posting this chapter without the approval of Mirax-Jade. Sorry, Mirax! Your profile says you haven?t been on for a few days, and I did need to post this part before I was eaten alive by hungry readers! Thanks JainaDurron, NarundiJedi and obaona!

    Once again, I?d like to remind everyone of the Kyp Durron Awards. Please do vote and support this minor awards show! The organisers (particularly Jilly) have put so much work into its presentation!

    Once I?ve posted this preface and the chapter, I?ll send out the PM notifications. If you, at any time, want me to stop sending them (I know how I feel about privacy), then give me a shout and I?ll cross you off my little list. Let me know!

    I?d just like to remind everyone that I do use Australian spelling in my fan fiction. So, if you come across a word that looks completely wrong, you know why ;). It?s not the beta-readers ? it?s just, depending on your country, we all spell certain words differently. Isn?t it a pain?

    Also, you?ll notice an ?interlude? in the middle of this post. It was a dare (thank you, oba :p). Unfortunately, I can?t resist dares.

    Now, lastly, I wanted to leave my own thoughts on the motivations of Nenetlya, whom you?ll meet throughout this story. At first, I intended for her to be a sweet, old lady (a la Red Riding Hood). Then again, the lady in RRH was a witch, so I suppose her character was doomed from the start ;). At the heart of the matter, Nenetlya is a mysterious character. You may hate her for what she says to Kyp and Jaina, but, on the other hand, she also might save the galaxy from the Yuuzhan Vong. As Jaina says in the story, is she a Sith in a Jedi?s clothing? Hmm, although you could take oba?s approach when reading: ?I strongly dislike this woman. Smack her, Kyp!? Hehehe. In any case, all I?m saying is try not to instantly hate this woman. She?s not going to become an arch-nemesis. She wants the best for people, but her ways are very unorthodox. She sees things but through a glass darkly. Decide for yourself, though. What are Nenetlya?s intentions?

    We?re done here! Enjoy the show! :D

    (So, anyone want to pick out my favourite lines? ;))
     
  10. Amidala_Skywalker

    Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    The Heat Within Series

    Part II ? Just Following Orders

    Summary: Luke Skywalker asks Kyp to fly into the Unknown Regions with Jaina in a search to find a woman who knows the weakness of the Vong, and who has a weapon that could destroy them. However, the gifts this woman possesses are yet to be revealed.

    ~~

    For some reason now unknown to Kyp Durron, he had programmed the computer of The Dauntless to awaken him by raising the lighting level in his quarters to full strength and initiating a computer subroutine, which would read out his daily schedule in a crisp, monotone voice. Lately, the recitation of the pre-programmed schedule had been reduced to only a handful of short points ? mostly reminders concerning ship maintenance. Regardless of that fact, each morning Kyp would curse the computer?s punctuality, blaming the A.I. for his lack of sleep or good mood. It was often with much bitterness that Kyp arose from his bed, unable to ignore the intolerable light shining in his face. Although Kyp could have reprogrammed the computer with a new routine, he found other tasks that needed completion - no matter how insignificant they were. His current morning routine provided him with a harsh, but unchanging awakening to the sterile environment of his starship.

    This new day was no different than the others that had passed in the last month. The lights flickered on with fury, causing Kyp to moan and place both hands in front of his eyes. Muttering to himself, he kicked at the sheets surrounding his body until they were at the bottom of his bed. He then sat up and spun his body around to a sitting position on the side of the bed. The soles of his feet felt slightly chilled as they made contact with the floor a moment later.

    The computer rattled on, oblivious to his discomfort.

    ?Third line of ship maintenance schedule: affix new bulkhead to corridor 5, section 23. Bulkhead was damaged due to the encounter with an unknown anomaly in the Garen sector. This task is scheduled to be completed before 1300.?

    Finally managing to adjust to the brightness of his quarters, he removed his hands from his eyes and reached for his pants. He had to blink several times before his eyes came into focus and he was able to locate his clothes. Jumping up, he dressed roughly, throwing one leg and then another into his pants, and zipping them up without a second thought to a shirt for his upper body. The computer, meanwhile, had finished its narration of the daily schedule.

    Tiredly, Kyp stumbled over to the food unit, ordering himself a steaming hot cup of caf. He didn?t bother finding himself a seat, and instead, leant against a bulkhead and consumed his beverage. The caf helped him in finding his bearings, and in no time, he was at least able to form a coherent thought.

    Placing his cup back in the ?fresher, he turned to address the computer. ?Identify the time, computer.?

    ?The time is now 0710.?

    Kyp smiled to himself. He had beaten yesterday?s time by two minutes. It was a pathetic thing to be proud of, he knew, but he congratulated himself nonetheless.

    ?Receiving a communication from the Jedi base. Priority one,? the computer notified him calmly.

    Kyp?s eyebrow quirked in puzzlement. A communiqué from the Jedi? He hadn?t talked to Luke Skywalker in more than three weeks, a few days after Kyp had returned Jaina Solo to the clan. Intrigued, if nothing else, he walked over to his comm. unit and patched the signal through.

    A worn face belonging to none other than Jedi Master Luke Skywalker appeared on the screen. Instantly, Luke?s face lit up with a smile. ?Good. I thought that you might be asleep right now.?

    ?I just got up,? Kyp replied, running a hand through his dishevelled hair. ?What can I do for you, Master??

    To Kyp?s eyes, Luke looked as if he had aged several years in a matter of months. The war was truly taking its toll on the youthfulness of the Jedi and the New Republic soldiers alike. Luke?s blue pools were not as bright as they had bee
     
  11. Kyp_Jaina_Jag

    Kyp_Jaina_Jag Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 15, 2002
    Thanks so much for the PM!

    Absolutely wonderful new part! Easily one of my favorite K/J stories ever, and I can't wait for the next part.

    Hmm, although you could take oba?s approach when beta-reading: ?I strongly dislike this woman. Smack her, Kyp!?

    *raises hand* I agree! *snicker*
     
  12. Jedi_Jaina_Durron

    Jedi_Jaina_Durron Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 1, 2001
    Thanks for the PM!

    Ooooh, this was interesting on so many different levels. It raises so many questions. Who is she, really? Can she truly see the future? What's her true motives behind contacting Luke? Is she really the salvation of the galaxy? And I agree that Kyp needs to slap that woman! :D

    Wonderful post!

    Is it too soon to ask for more?
     
  13. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    Ooh, a new post! A very long post. :D

    I find myself agreeing with both Jaina and oba. :p Maybe there does need to be a bit of Kyp-smacking later on. ;) Nenetlya is a bit of an off putting character, with her insights. How does she know about Kyp? Prior knowledge from the Vong (if she's truthful about that?) Curiosity? Or, as she says, it's just another study of human nature? Curious, quite curious. Will she play an important role in the forthcoming plot, Amsie? She's beginning to intrigue me. :p

    Also, her enemies. Why attack then? Hmm...

    Kyp's musings on "partners" was interesting too. They both seem to accept the change to their relationship, which is good, but I know you'll put a wrench into any smooth relations that would be inevitable. I'd expect no less, "psycho-angst" creator. [face_devil]

    Your teaser for part III is evil, Ams. Hope you know that. ;) :p You'd better post the next part soon, you know you don't like to see me beg. :p
     
  14. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    Or maybe you do? :eek: :eek: :eek:
     
  15. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    (Sane people take a break for 10!)
    Not me. I read the whole thing. Very nice.
     
  16. Jez_3-14159265358979

    Jez_3-14159265358979 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 13, 2001
    *bounces* Oh my, that was so good. It's safe to say i'm addicted to this story. please continue your writing.

    Jez
     
  17. Jaina_and_Jag

    Jaina_and_Jag Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 19, 2003
    Thanks for the PM! :)

    That was awesome!!! :D Very long though. lol. Took me a very long time to read it, I have a problem sitting still for a long period of time. :p I really liked Nenetlya... she was a mysterious old woman who knew more about them than they knew about themselves. She really made me think she was somebody important in both their lives, making them question themselves more often, ect.
     
  18. SaberBlade

    SaberBlade Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2001
    Woohoo, an update! Thanks for the pm.

    I didn't dislike that woman as the rest seem to. She actually seems like the witch off in the mists, the one that asks questions that no one can answer and so must ponder.

    So many lines I can't attempt to pick the single favorite. The best passage, however, is OBVIOUSLY this one:

    What took you so long?? Jaina called, obviously teasing.

    ?Did I keep you waiting, Goddess?? Kyp strode down the ramp, removing his hands from his mid-section and holding them up in mock-surrender.

    Jaina smiled and cocked an eyebrow. ?I wouldn?t wait for you if the universe were ending, Kyp.?

    ?I?m injured, truly,? Kyp countered. He looked her up and down quickly, his eyes skimming the sides of her orange flight suit. ?I see you?re looking better. I doubt the ?worse for wear? attitude suits you.?

    ?Compliment?? Jaina inquired.

    ?Can?t tell compliments and insults apart??

    ?Kyp, whenever you?re concerned, I find it better to ask rather than take my chances.? Jaina spun around and walked towards her nearby X-Wing.


    Jaina with blaster and lightsaber, very cool... But wait, she's returned from the dead in the next one? Great, you just had to give us that little teaser, didn't you.

    :D Not that I'm complaining. Much. Excellent work!

    -Saber
     
  19. rogue11lovesjag

    rogue11lovesjag Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2002
    *tackles Ams*

    YOU POSTED IT!!

    That was very good. I liked how Jaina and Kyp's relationship is changing.

    ~Rogue
     
  20. Jade_Skywalker

    Jade_Skywalker Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2000
    Very awesome Am! I love how you portray Kyp's personality, it is right on. I found with this one, that I was continuously trying to figure out what was going to happen next. I loved the forboding feeling that we get with the scavengers when they first arrive on the planet. Nenetlya is a very interesting character. What she says and the way she acts just keeps me asking questions. Who is she? Does she really want to help, or is she just setting people up to form distrust or what not. Seriously, when she was talking to Kyp alone, I thought she was going to say the same thing she said to Jaina. That Jaina would end up betraying him. I definately don't trust her, and it's going to be interesting to see which way you take her character. Awesome post! Can't wait for the next one! :D

    EDIT: There was actually one more thing that I forgot to mention. You have excellent imagery. Like I said to you before, the way you described Luke's appearance, and then how you described the one scavenger with the one eye, I could totally picture him in my head. Great job! :D
     
  21. Bellyup

    Bellyup Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2002
    Too tired to read. Must go to bed. Will read and review massively tomorrow after numerous mugs of coffee.

    *head falls on keyboarghnjyu[
     
  22. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    *sighs deeply* As I dared Am, she dared me to say something in my reply. ;) Now I no longer remember what it was. [face_blush]

    Anywho - people agree with me! :eek: It's not that I think she's an evil character, but she is arrogant in her presumption that she understands and knows the situation better than anyone else possibly could. So, I think Kyp should smack her. :p She deserves it, IMHO, and maybe she'd learn something. [face_mischief] (Maybe she'd be so shocked she'd reevaluate a few things. ;) )

    Personally, my favorite scene is probably the one where Kyp makes food for himself and her, and the banter, and the way he normally eats but won't around Jaina . . . it was very touching, how much her being there affected him, and how he hardly even realized it. :p Not to mention how she responds, as well. :D So anyway. ;) That was my favorite. [face_love]

    Lovely job, Amsie. ;)
     
  23. JainaDurron

    JainaDurron Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 8, 2002
    Okay you know how I felt about this chapter. I told you when I sent it back betaed and then on MSN. :p I agree with oba though, the woman needs to be smacked, that's all there is to it.

    My fave part was... the whole bloody thing! :D I don't know if I even want to continue my stories now. I feel I am lacking something after I read your posts Amsie. I'm gonna go off and pout now... :p

    Hey oba! When am I gonna beta your K/J? [face_hint]

    ~~Jilly
     
  24. Jasa_Solo

    Jasa_Solo Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 5, 2003
    Thanks for the PM, and good post.
     
  25. ThePodSquad

    ThePodSquad Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 25, 2001
    Oooooh!!! *squeeeeeeee* Lovely as always Amsie!

    I would go through and quote my favourite parts, but sadly I'm short on time. Oh, what the heck, here we go.

    ?Although,? he responded cheekily, ?putting it in a bowl is all my idea.?

    She laughed freely, meeting his gaze briefly, almost shyly. Belatedly, Kyp noticed the struggling innocence within her eyes. A moment later, however, she replaced her barriers and her mask and she was once again a female Jedi turned fighter pilot. Nothing more to those who didn?t seek to analyse her.

    ?I prepared some for you,? Kyp said.

    ?You know I didn?t ask.? Her tone was neither scolding nor pleased.

    ?It would be nice if you ate with me. I need some company.?

    Jaina shook her head. ?I don?t believe that. Kyp Durron needing company. What happened ? break your toybox??
    *sighs contentedly* I love your dialogue between Kyppie and Jaina. You write some of the best banter I've read. It all seems so natural, not forced or out of character.

    Lovely part and I can't wait 'til part III. :D
     
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