Saga The Hero With No Brains. (Anakin, Obi, Mace, Yoda) Humor, One-shot.

Title: The Hero With No Brains
Summary: Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Padawan and hero extraordinaire, accompanies his Master on a new and devastatingly difficult mission, and proves Obi-wan right.
Notes: Based on a "true" story.





Mace frowned.
Sixteen year-old Anakin Skywalker happily tagged along behind his Master, Obi-wan Kenobi. At any other time, any other place, this would not only be normal, but even expected of him. But not now, not with a mission this intense.

"Jedi Kenobi," the tall Master began, his voice seething with annoyance. "I believe we instructed you not to bring Padawan Skywalker to our group."

Yoda shushed Mace. "If survive this, Skywalker does, ready he will be, to join our ranks."
"I do not know that the boy is ready for this-I do not trust him, not with a task like this."

Obi-wan broke in. "Anakin has more than proven himself already. If nothing else, I suspect that he will be the critical factor to this mission."

"I can do it," Anakin spoke up, right on cue. They must have rehearsed beforehand, Mace noted.

Yoda spoke, his judgement known.
"Know then, young Skywalker, that this mission is of vital importance. But...good experience, provided to you, it will be, should you survive. Come then-our approach we must plan."

The Jedi circled up in front of an enormous ancient door of unknown make or material. Despite the obvious mass of the portal, a series of rythmatic pounding blows echoed throughout the chamber. The door shook with the force of the strikes, and it would occasionally bend outwards enough to make out a scarlet light inside the room beyond.

"Let's get to business," Mace said. "Master Yoda, do you know what lies behind that door?"
"Valuable shards of the Kaiburr Crystal, receive must we. But powerful, evil creatures, to the crystals are they drawn. Beware, we must, of the Terentatek beasts."

Anakin fidgeted.

"Here's how we'll go about doing this," Mace began. "First, Master Yoda will use his Battle Meditation to boost our strength and cohesiveness. Kenobi, you and your Apprentic will then pull open the doors, then stay close to Yoda to help protect him. Meanwhile, I'll try to draw them away..."

Anaking fidgeted. Unnoticed, he fidgeted again. Why did these codgy old farts just keep talking anyway? You'd think that by now, they'd have figured out that the best way to plan something was to lightsaber everything that moves, and then move on before the authorities could piece it all together. That's what he always did, and it worked out well for him.

By the Force, Mace was still talking. "That's when Master Kenobi will take the shard with the Force, and then..."

Anakin fidgeted. "I'ma get me some chicken," he declared.
No one payed attention to him.
Anakin came back with a drumstick, which he ate while watching the old coots sit around and babble at each other. He burped, threw away the bone, wiped his hands on his tunic, then stood up.

"Heads up, chums, let's DO this! ANNNAKIINNNNNN! SKYWALKERRRRRRRR!"

With that, he blew open the doors and darted in.

The others stood stock-still, stunned.
And then:
"Anakin, no, stop!" And so Kenobi charged headlong into danger to rescue his idiot Padawan, just like he always did.
Mace ran in after them, yelling for Kenobi to abandon Skywalker and come back.
Yoda brought up the rear, shouting "To the plan, we must stick! To the plan, we must stick!"

The terentatek were powerful. They were strong. They were waiting. One by one, the Jedi fell, cursing Anakin, until only Kenobi was left, desperately fleeing.
A fat terentatek sat on him.
"ANAKIN!"

Obi-wan tore off his headset, flipped off the hologame they had all been playing, and turned around in his chair, glaring at his padawan. Anakin, unmoved, continued to munch on his poultry.

"Anakin, that was just stupid," Kenobi said.
"At least I have chicken!"

 

Just loved it, a game and Anakin eating during it

 

Oh, too funny.