Beyond - Legends The Honest to Goodness, Very Last, I Swear on My Mother?s Grave, YJK Story: CHAPTER NINE IS UP!

Oya!!! You got the YJK cast right on! It's so hilariously funny
I got tears in my eyes just from laughing so much.

Awesome job vod

 

It's been a long time.......a long, long time, since I did anything with this fic. You were all left hanging, with unanswered questions about many things. What is Mari Su's fate? Will the Girls ever reuinite with the Boys? Will Lowbacca and Em-Teedee even make a reappearence in the story? Will Luke intervene to save our heroes, or will other forces be required to resolve the entanglements they have encountered? Who knows?

I do. You, dear readers are, alas, in the the dark. I intend to rectify this.

This weekend, friday if possible, be on the watch for the newest chapter in the continuing misadvantrues of Jaina, Jacen, Tenel Ka, Zekk, Anakin, Tahiri, Raynar, Lusa, Lowbacca, Luke, Dorack Vo, Mari Su, Zool, Jed, Bob and the rest of the VLYJKS crew. Questions will be answered, puns will be made, jokes will be cracked and the fourth wall will be obliberated as always.

This story is coming back, and trust me, it's gonna be worth the wait.

Stay tooned.

 

Screw the fourth wall, it had it coming! BTW, the link to the Kyle thread (in your sig) has been erased. Just wanted to let you know.

 

*tackle hugs KK* You're AMAZING! I'd totally givin' up on this! *smooches* I can't wait for the next chapter!

 

Noted and fixed.

Ah, Eruanne, how I've missed your ballistic enthusiasim. Just wait till the chapter shows up...

Now, with any luck I'll be able to finish the chapter off and post it soon. Keep watching.

 

Can't wait to see.

 

CHAPTER SIX:

<On the planet of Chandrila, the Young Jedi Knights have reunited after a period of separation. The Boys, having recently lost their femme fatale friend Mari Su to the clutches of a group of antiquated but numerically superior Super Battle Droids are eager to find the headquarters of evil Sith pretender Dorack Vo. The Girls are equally eager to take down the threat to galactic peace, but feel somewhat different about rescuing a certain red-headed young Jedi in training.>

Lusa: ?You- you want us to help you rescue-?

Tahiri: ?marisu??

Anakin: ?Yeah. See, we were trying to get into Dorack?s secret headquarters-?

Zekk: ?When a whole horde of Super Battle Droids came out of nowhere and ambushed us.?

Jacen: ?Mari sacrificed herself so that we could escape, and then we found you.?

Jaina, (hopefully): ?You mean Mari?s dead??

Raynar: ?Mari?s dead? My life is no longer worth living!?

<Raynar takes out his lightsaber and attempts to stab himself, but is restrained by Lusa and Tenel Ka.>

Jacen, (smacking Raynar on the back of the head): ?Raynar, Mari can?t be dead. That would ruin the whole story!?

Raynar: ?Oh. Right.?

Zekk: ?But she is in danger! We have to rescue her.?

Anakin: ?And we can?t do it without your help.?

Jacen: ?PLEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSE?????!!!!?

Jaina: ?Hold on one second. We need to talk this over.?

Zekk: ?What?s to talk about? Don?t you want us to save Mari??

<An extended pause occurs.>

Lusa: ?Of........course we do. We just don?t want her......sacrifice, yeah, her sacrifice to have been made in vain. If you?re really set on rescuing her-"

The Boys: ?We are! We are!?

Lusa: ?-then we?ll need a plan of some kind.?

Tenel Ka: ?This is a fact. It would be unwise to simply break in to Dorack?s lair if his forces are holding her hostage. As a matter of fact, if provoked there is no telling what they might do. They may even kill her if..."

<Another extended pause occurs.>

Jaina: ?On second thought, let?s just storm the place. I?m sure that Mari will be fine.?

The Boys: ?YAY!?

Tenel Ka, (drawing Jaina aside): ?I admit that I wish to be rid of Mari Su as much as any of us, but do you not think that such an act may bring the dark side on us??

Jaina: ?The Force makes exceptions for just causes Tenel Ka.?

Tahiri: ?andgettingourboyfreindsbackisasjustacauseasicanthinkof!?

Lusa: ?Agreed. And we?re not intentionally trying to harm her or anything. We?re going to do what we told the boys we would. We?ll just try to rescue her, and fail.?

Tenel Ka: ?But what will happen when the boys learn of her demise? Is it wise to remove the object of their intoxification so suddenly from them??

Jaina: ?They?ll just have to go cold Tauntaun. It?s the only way. Letting Mari have any more influence on them is only going to make things worse. Honestly, I'm thinking about killing Jacen just to stop those nauseating thoughts of his from coming over our twin bond.?

Lusa: "Really?"

Jaina: "No. Are you serious? I'd never even think of hurting him. Well, maybe a little, in this case but anyway..."

Tahiri: ?ithinkthatweshouldhaveabackupplanifthisdoesntwork?

Jaina: ?All right. I?ll send a message off-planet. If we?re lucky the one person we need to finish up the whole darn story will arrive in the nick of time at a critical point in the near-future.?

Tenel Ka: ?Who could possibly be important enough to warrant an entrance like that??

Jaina: ?You?ll see.?

<Further away, in the secret headquarters of Dorack Vo, the master Dark Jedi converses with a mysterious figure immersed in shadows.>

Dorack: ?Then all has gone as we planned it? The fools will walk into my trap??

Shadowy Figure: ?Yes, they will risk all to reclaim their beloved companion.?

Dorack: ?Excellent. It is all co

 

*Gasp* Marisu is working with Dorack? I never would've guessed!

Seriosuly, awesome return. Yes, Jacen. Remember not to run off to any asteroids and slaughter apprentices! And I love that Tenel Ka looked familiar, too. So... who's gonna show up? Luke, I bet.

Hope more comes soon!

 

Yes, due to my exceptional writing prowess, I'm certain this came as a shock.

We shall see.

 

Nope, the only one that can save the day now is Kyle Katarn. If he's busy, I elect Jack Bauer. He's a protagonist and Deus EX Machina wraped up in a neat little package. Your irony (following the bad guy to an asteroid and becoming their apprentice) is dead-on. Hope the next chapter won't take so long to show up.

 

Hmmm, you'd think that after a six month break, I'd get more then two responses.

Does nobody care about the fate of the Boys? Of the true story behind Mari's treachery?

 

*mando happy dance* Glad to have the witless ones back. I thought you'd given up on it, vod. Whaddaya know? Mari Su was working for Vo the whole time! I never suspected a thing!

Roain <><

 

Ah Roain, it's good to be back to bring you more tales of the witless ones. And yes, I had almost given up on it. And yes, as Mari herself stated I'm certain that no one saw her treachery coming.

 

CHAPTER SEVEN:

<When we last left our heroes they had been shocked by the shocking revelation that their friend and fellow Young Jedi Knight Mari Su was apparently the daughter of their enemy, fallen Jedi and aspiring Sith threat Dorack Vo. Having been surrounded by Dorack?s minions within the very room they sought to rescue both their lovely comrade and Luke Skywalker?s missing holocron, the boys can only wonder at this strange new development.>

Anakin: ?Maybe I?m not hearing properly, but I could have sworn you said ?daddy? to Dorack there a second ago.?

Jacen, (shrugging.): ?But that can?t be what you said Mari, ?cause if he?s your daddy then that would make you, by definition, his daughter. And we all know that you?re so pure and good you couldn?t possibly be the child of a horribly evil dark-sider.?

Anakin, (scratching his chin): ?Wait a second, I?m pretty sure that that happened once before...?

Jacen: ?That?s beside the point Anakin. The point is that Mari is good and pure and sparkly.?

Mari: ?Wrong. Dorack Vo is my father.?

Raynar: ?No! That?s not true! That?s impossible!?

Mari: ?Nope. It?s possible.?

Zekk: ?But Dorack is the one who tortured you.?

Mari: ?Maybe with his taste in music sometimes, but no. I made that stuff up.?

Anakin: ?But he was responsible for your mother?s death!?

Mari: ?Oh Please. That whole thing about my mom being an Echani high-priestess who met a horrible death at the claws of a pack of nek-dogs? It was just for garnering sympathy. He?s my dad, I?m his daughter and you guys are a bunch of nitwits.?

Dorack Vo: ?Now hand over your lightsabers. We wouldn?t want any accidents happening, now would we??

The Boys: ?Never!?

Dorack Vo: ?Sweetie, would you mind??

Mari, (shrugging): ?Give me your lightsabers.?

The Boys: ?Okay. As long as you?re the one asking us, we know it?s for the best Mari.?

<Mari Su takes the baffled boys? Jedi weapons and clips them onto her belt. After which Dorack Vo?s secondhand Super Battle Droids restrain the boys in interrogation chairs.>

Raynar, (smiling): ?You see Mari? Even though these terrible accusations are being leveled at you, we still trust you with all of our hearts.?

Mari: ?Sucks to be you then.?

Jacen: ?But Mari, you helped us to track Dorack down. We?re going to bring him to justice!?

Anakin, (thinking hard): ?Wait. I understand now, she?s just bluffing. Fooling her evil father into believing that she owes her loyalty to him, when in reality, she?s going to betray him to save us!?

Mari, (rolling her eyes): ?Uhm, yeah, like that?ll happen.?

Jacen: ?Wow, she?s really great at pretending to be so dispassionate, when her heart is secretly bleeding.?

Mari: ?Listen; I. Am. Evil! Eeeee-viiillllll! How much clearer can I make this? I?m going to enjoy keeping you in a state of constant torment.?

Raynar: ?Don?t worry Mari. We?ll endure whatever torture you must inflict on us to prove to your father that you?re sincere, in order to lull him into a false sense of security so you can defeat him when he doesn?t expect it.?

Dorack Vo: ?Hey, I?m right here you know.?

Zekk: ?Hah, and you?ll still be surprised when Mari turns on you!?

Mari: ?No. I?m turning on you guys. I?ve betrayed you.?

Jacen: ?Maybe it looks that way to the others, but I know that you wouldn?t Mari. I know it?s our destiny to be together, and that means that you?ll never really do those things to us.?

Mari: ?Okay, that does it. Let me try and get this into your thick skulls: I?m the traitor here. I?m the Villain! Don?t you get it? I?ve played you! I was never your friend! This was all an act, an elaborate ruse! I FAKED IT! LIED!! I! DO!! NOT!!! LIKE!!!! YOU!!!!!?

Jacen, (winking): ?Keep it up Mari, you sound really convinc

 

just found this it is very good will ther be any more if there is can't wait to find out what happens next
Pm me when you update

 

There will be another chapter or so yet. If you want to read the first fic that predates this one, go here: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/22052422/p1

And yeah, you'll be on the PM list.

 

Oh, naked centaur girl, you amuse me so.

 

You're right, Havac. lusa is a highly underrated character who got killed for no reason.

Anyway, good post. Gari Stu? Mari's brother? Nice. And poor boys... *Smacks them all in a 'Stooge slap'* Wake up!

Sorry I didn't post earlier. Winter cold hath hit.

 

The darndest thing is that much like Mari Su, I've developed a deranged fondness for these characters as I've written them.

Oh trust me, the boys will be getting a Big Wake-up Call in the next chapter, from the most unlikely source imaginable. It's the girls who are in big trouble now.

I undertand completely. I'm Canadian, remember?

 

Finally! This is awesome.

 

I couldn't agree with you more Jek.

Care to bring up anything you found to be especially funny?

 

Gari Su?! the plot thickens like cream cheese left out for too long. What devious mind has spawned such a creature? There's only one man that can save the day: Jack Bau... errr I mean Kyle Katarn! As the Simpsons (and Dark Forces) have taught me, there's nothing a few pounds of explosives can't fix! Good chapter man.


Now, you best not take another bleeding year to make another chapter or by Gahd I might cry.

 

Indeed it does, indeed it does... And be careful with your questions, my friend, or I might be forced to break the fourth wall in the next chapter to explain .

Thanks. I know it was a long time in coming, and I promise the next one will arive much sooner.

See above.

 

Well, here I am.

Okay, this made me laugh and cringe. It's so true. I know this is a humor fic, but you've also touched on a deeper underlying WTF issue with Luke's academy. Yeah, there were a couple of Jedi Masters around, but seriously, that was it. Even in the Old Republic, back when Jedi were common place and sort of cool, with hundreds of Jedi in the Temple at once, they had their own Temple guards. And I can't believe the Solo kids and TK went around without any body guards.

That being said, Gari Su! He even made Tenel "men-are-just-playthings" Ka stop in her tracks.

I gotta ask, are our heroes going to be riding on Lusa the centaur when they do eventually escape? Because if they do, it'd be hilarious (my sense of humor is totally immature).