Beyond - Legends The Honest to Goodness, Very Last, I Swear on My Mother?s Grave, YJK Story: CHAPTER NINE IS UP!

Good to have you!

Hence my mentioning of it. I know that as a parody I'm merely poking fun at the stories that other people invested hard work and effort in...okay, some work and effort, but there are times when I come across something that's that odd, and I just have to devote a little time to examining it.

Such is the Power of the Su! And things are only about to get worse. They tend to when Su's show up, after all.

Well, poking fun at centaur girls is easy. As for anyone riding Lusa, well, we'll see. I plan on posting the elusive chapter eight within the next few days, so stay tooned!

 

CHAPTER EIGHT:

<Mere moments ago, Jaina Solo, Tenel Ka Djo, Tahiri Veila and Lusa the Chironian entered into the lair of a force-user of unimaginable danger and power: Gari Su. Their reaction to this apparition of darkness?>

The Girls: ?Swoon!?

Gari Su, (backing away): ?Swoon not at me. I cannot feel love nor pleasure nor any feeling of hope, happiness or solace. I am a creature of the Dark Side, a wretched pawn of the dark shadows of the universe cursed to exist in a state of never ending misery and torment.?

Jaina: ?But we didn?t sense the Dark Side when we approached you.?

Lusa: ?I still don?t.?

Gari: ?That is because I have long striven to overcome my darker side, and to hide my presence away where it will not lure others to their terrible doom, for I am cursed to always bring misfortune to others.?

Tenel Ka: ?But how did you come to be imprisoned here? And why is your name the same as Mari Su?s??

Gari: ?Because she is my half-sister, the daughter of your enemy, Dorack Vo.?

The Girls: ?WHAT??

Gari: ?You did not know? Well then let me serve as an instrument of truth, and therefore accomplish some small measure of good, though in the end it will seem insignificant in comparison to the atrocities I have committed.?

The Girls: ?What truth??

Gari: ?Long ago, before the Dark Times, before the Empire, there existed a mighty Republic. Held together by common ideals and policed by the noble Jedi Knights, it was a time of prosperity and peace.?

Jaina: ?But I read that the Republic was corrupt and falling apart when??

Gari: ?You?re interrupting.?

Jaina: ?Sorry.?

Gari: ?As I said, it was a time of order and valor, until a young Jedi Knight turned to evil and helped the Emperor hunt down and destroy the Jedi.?

Jaina: ?Was he your father??

Gari: ?No, it was Darth Vader, the apprentice of Darth Sidious who was also known as Emperor Palpatine. The Emperor was a Sith, and the Sith have a rule that there shall only be two of them at a time. But Palpatine was clever and knew that without distractions his apprentice would soon topple him. So he ensured that there would always be dark Jedi, Sith acolytes, cultists and second stringers waiting in the wings ready to kill Vader in order to keep him on his toes and too distracted to worry about taking power. But when Vader and The Emperor were both killed by Luke Skywalker, these half-Sith, these dark Jedi had no one left to challenge or aspire to. Therefore they simply spread throughout the galaxy trying to amass as much power for themselves as they could. To this day many of them have fallen trying to kill your master Skywalker, but some of them knew better. Some of them tried to keep quiet and avoid attraction, while amassing material wealth for themselves. And one among them was my father, Dorack Vo. He had a criminal empire once, until you toppled it. Since then he has been plotting his vengeance against you, and sent my half-sister Mari Su to infiltrate and divide you in pursuit of that goal. In the meantime he has kept me imprisoned because he knew I would try to help you overthrow him in my quest to redeem myself and my family name.?

Jaina: ?Redeem? How??

Gari: ?The Vo?s were once a respected line of Jedi, serving the light side of the Force for generations. But that all changed just before the Clone Wars when a Dark Jedi named Mari Su seduced Gari Vo to the dark side. They were my grandparents, and my half-sister and I are named for them. They?re own son, Dorack Vo had the misfortune to grow up during the Empire?s reign when so many of his number were being trained as dark Jedi to become fodder for distracting Vader.?

Jaina: ?And he was trained too??

Gari: ?Actually he went into law school for a while, but eventually he was trained to be an acolyte of the Dark Side of the Force. But he grew to hate his fellow students and plotted to destroy them.?

Jaina:

 

LOL, good one here. Although you stole the yiddish comment right out from under me. Although to be semi-serious, the girls have known pain. *Slaps Gari with a baseball bat*

 

Just the typical career path of a dark Jedi...

I love this parallel of the SW universe and our own. Aren't parents always saying how they had it harder, and their kids get everything served on a gold plate, who then turn around and complain about their suffering?

Even dark, evil, Jedi can be doting parents too. They just give their kids people as toys.

No, of course they didn't hear of him. They were too busy running around having YJK adventures to actually show up for class. I'm amazed that the Solo kids have some degree of literacy, actually.

I think there is a hard and fast rule that Star Wars characters are not allowed to learn from past mistakes, only repeat them. Just imagine the chaos if they did - there'd be no EU.

Wait, you mean he's not talking about Jaina? Zekk, that is sacrilege. How dare you go against the wishes of Elaine Cunningham.

I know I mentioned this in my last review, but one thing I like about this story is that you pick at annoying things going on in the EU. Lightsaber colors are definitely one of the things I have issues with. First, it was green, blue, and red (and eventually Mace's violet, which was supposed to be unique). Then the comics start displaying a whole range of colors, which was eventually retconned by saying that Ruusan, the best source of lightsaber crystal sources, was destroyed during the New Sith wars, and later, Palpatine would destroy the few remaining other sources, which is why lightsaber crysals were supposedly scare, . But then in the later EU, all the colors show up again. It's such an annoying little problem.

 

Wow. That was hilarious. Who would have guessed that all of the separate storylines would have converged at the end? Who would have guessed that Gari is a good guy? (or is he? maybe it's just a clever disguise?) So sad that it's almost over, but I can't wait to read the last chapter!

~Jaina

 

that was great

 

Yeah, things got a little weird there. Maybe too much sugar in my coffee.

Also, Gari feels no pain. He feels nothing but an aching gap where his soul and heart should be, but are not. For he is all alone in his eternal cage of shadow and isolation. And the world would never accept him even if it knew he existed.

Yes, but as I think Dorack may have said earlier in the fic, he just wasn?t quite evil enough to make it in Imperial law school.

Except in Gari?s case, he?s actually sort of right. Kinda.

Especially Dorack. He knows he shouldn?t spoil her, but he just can?t help himself.

Sometimes I am as well. They would however have become very adept at dealing with kidnapping related trauma.

We aren?t cursed to repeat the mistakes of the past: Only to improve them.

Mari made me.

I think that there should be a core set of lightsabers colors. Gold, Blue, Green and Red. Violet should only show up for Sith IMHO.

 

Gari's motivations are painfully clear, and confusing at the same time. And you may have to wait to see the next chapter, because I've only gotten four responses so far, and my demands are at least seven!

Glad you thought so. Be sure to tell some friends.

 

It's coming.

Be afraid. Be really afraid.

 

Just started reading this. Loving the humor Send me a PM when you update

Great stuff

 

Read this yesterday and couldn't stop laughing . Can't wait for the next post!

 

You can be sure of it.

It'll be up soon. I'll PM you.

 

Chapter NINE:

<When last we left our heroes?..and villains?..they had all come together by cosmic coincidence in the very center of Dorack Vo?s underground lair. Now, with all parties accounted for, weapons loaded and lightsabers drawn, with plans coming to fruition, fates revealed and plenty of surprises in store, we proudly present the ninth and final chapter of the Honest to Goodness, Very Last, I Swear on my Mother?s grave Young Jedi Knight Story.>

Dorack: ?Where?s that narration coming from??

Narrator: ?I?m being fired after this gig, so I?m trying to make the best of what time I have left.?

Dorack: ?Well cut it out. Other people have scenery to chew you know!?

Narrator: ?Sorry.?

Dorack: ?Now, where were we??

Gari: ?I have come to face you my father! It is time for the final confrontation!?

Dorack: ?Oh. Right.?

Mari: ?So, my half-brother. You have emerged from your solitude to challenge me at last? I welcome this challenge. It will amuse me to defeat you!?

Gari: ?It will not be so! I have allies in this matter.?

Jaina: ?Yeah! We?re Gari?s friends, and we?re going to help him defeat you!?

Tenel Ka, (hanging off Gari?s arm.): ?Indeed. And after we have emerged victorious we shall help friend Gari to find the love he desires. Fact.?

<But the Boys arrived with the intention of saving Mari from her father?s clutches. What is their reaction to the Girls proclamation of aiding Gari Stu-Vo in destroying their Beloved Mari?>

Raynar, (scratching his head): ?Okay. Hold on. We need a time out here.?

Anakin: ?Yeah! Who is this guy, and why does he have all the girls who aren?t Mari with him??

Zekk: ?And why does he want to hurt Mari? Doesn?t he know she?s just a victim of her father?s evil influence??

Jacen: ?Maybe a joke would ease the tension here. I?ve got one: A Chagrian and a Nautolaun walk into a Cantina??

<And the Girls? What do they think on seeing the Boys springing to Mari?s side, ready to defend her?>

Tahiri, (transfixed with all the rage a hormonal teenage girl can muster): ?KILLTHESKANKYONE!?

Zool, (tapping Dorack?s shoulder): ?Sir, are you as confused as I am??

Dorack: ?About my kids? No, this happens more often then you think. What?s got me stumped is Jed being here. I thought I?d made it clear to you what was going to happen if you got out of line cloney-boy.?

Jed the Uber-ARC: ?I?m done taking orders from you Dorack.?

Dorack: ?Technically you haven?t taken any yet.?

Jed, (folding his arms): ?And I?m not about to start.?

Dorack: ?Oh please. We both know that you think of the Clone-Clones as your sons. And we both know that I hold the kill-switch that will take them all out with one click. And for some reason you?re still standing here like there?s something you can do about it.?

Jed: ?I?ve already done something about it. I?ve made a call. And trust me, when he gets here, you?ll wish you hadn?t gone that far with your twisted schemes.?

Zool: ?He? Who?s he??

Jed: ?You?ll find out soon enough.?

Mari, (sick of having the readers attention on other people): ?Hell-Loooo? Can we get back to the important stuff already? I?m about to have a showdown against Gari with my very first minions daddy! You should be watching me!?

Dorack: ?Daddy?s busy now sweetheart. You?ll just have to wait a minute!?

Mari: ?But I want to fight Gari now!?

Gari: ?Yes my sister, prepare to be defeated!?

Dorack: ?Kids, just keep it down already. I?ve got something to deal with first!?

<But at that precise moment, the Boys put their own plan into action.>

Anakin, (swinging his lightsaber): ?Yeah Dorack, and that something is us!?

Jacen: ?We?re freeing Mari from your dark clutches!?

Raynar: ?And stopping your evil plans!?

Zekk: ?Whatever they are!?

Mari: ?Oh, I don?t think so.?

 

I don't know why, but this cracks me UP!

Aww...

I take it you've done your homework on Mary Sues.
I've been lurking for a long time and I say "LOL! To The Max!

 

Awesome, awesome. Although the sad part is, bad clones is pretty much the only explanation for what happened to the YJK at the end. But, still. Good to see more of this, but also sad to see it end. A well-written and very funny fic, although since I'm a huge fan of KJA...

 

Hey, as long as I get the laughs, I don't care if you can't undertand.

Yeah, I relented at the end and threw the die-hard Jacen/Tenel Ka fans a bone. (You know who you are.)

Verily. Yet in a way she's rather a subversion, since she's fully aware of the effect she has on people and uses it to exploit them. ;p

Nothing like a de-lurking to bring ou the fun in the final installment. Thanks for the great comments.

 

Thanks Rk. I knew I couldcount on you for a final post. And yeah, I had the whole clones thing set up from the start. Poor Luke.

Any thoughts on the ends?

 

Kenobi_Kid, I thought you were dead. Seriously, it's been over a year since you last posted. Still, at least you finally finished this one. I completely agree with the clones theory, since it's the only damn explanation why these characters became massive jerks that treated each other like crud for no reason. And it looks like the bad guys actually won in the end .I'm just wondering why nobody seemed to notice... I wonder how our heros would react if they ever escaped from the Limbo.

 

*bows*

Thank you. It was a relief to finally finish this up.

Nope, alive and kicking. Kicking limply, but still kicking. Thanks for popping by to see the story off. It's been fun. As for further adventures, not to disapoint, but I don't think I'm up to taking on another one. And as for the villains coming out on top, I don't think ending up in the Star Trek NG universe counts as winning, lol. At least the SECRET PLAN had a payoff, right?

 

Ohhh.... It's over!

Great ending Please tell me there will be another

 

Sorry sweetie, but that's it. If you really do need to read more, you could always check out the first Very Last Young Jedi Knights story. I think there's a link to it at the beggining of this one, but go ahead and follow this:

http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/22052422/p1

 

Job well done, KK, and an excellent ending, to boot!

Also, I might just have to sig that.

 

Thanks a lot. I felt that since Jed was created by you he deserved to go out with flying colors. He was fun to write for. And go ahead and sig that if you want. I'd be honored.

BTW, what did you think of Kyp Durron, Agent of the Anderson?

 

Devasted. Yeah, I have read that one. I read it before I started reading this to get an idea