The (Humorous) Fanfic Author's manual

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Melyanna, Sep 7, 2001.

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  1. Melyanna Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2001
    star 4
    Hello, everyone, and welcome to the pseudo-official Fanfic Author's Manual! Obviously, this isn't anything serious, and it should in no way affect your reading and writing habits. The point is to poke fun at idiosyncracies among us authors without being mean, of course. Self-deprication is allowed, and even encouraged. However, be nice to each other, please!

    I'll start...

    -------

    Rule #1:

    Never post more than once a day. It is recommended that you not post every day, as your readers will become fidgety, demanding, and even mutinous, threatening to take over the story themselves if you haven't posted in twelve hours. However, if you feel compelled to post every day or more than once a day, you should be warned about taking breaks to deal with Darth Real Life, Darth Friends and Family, and the ever-dreaded Darth Writer's Block. (For the consequences associated with the aforementioned, consult any thread in the fan fiction forum authored by "Melyanna".)

    -------

    Okay, someone else's turn!

    :D
  2. Herman Snerd Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 1999
    star 6
    Rule #2

    If a reader guesses the plot twist to your story - change it.

    (This is unofficially known as the Padawan Lunetta Rule) [face_mischief] :D
  3. Ty-gon Jinn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 4
    Rule #3-

    When stuck for character names, just use one that has previously appeared in every other fic you've ever written. (The Ty-gon Jinn rule)
  4. Gandalf the Grey Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 14, 2000
    star 6
    #4

    Kill off a main character and your readers will either crucify you or call you a genius or both. Most likely both.
  5. Orion_Star Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2001
    star 2
    Rule # 5: Every author is required (by unwritten, unspoken, but generally understood common law) to write at least 1 ani/ami, at least one jaina/jag, at least one Han/Leia, and/or at least 1 Obi/Sabe romance.
  6. Melyanna Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2001
    star 4
    Rule #6:

    You may steal from yourself. In fact, if it's stealing from an unfinished fic, it's encouraged.
  7. Alderaan_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 14, 2001
    star 4
    Rule #7:

    If you make Jar Jar, Jacen, or Borsk look even worse, you will hear from the Humane Society for Over-Bashed Characters.
  8. Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2001
    star 5
    Rule #8:

    Never defy destiny, but placing Obi-Wan and Amidala in a romantic situation other you'll have a very pissed-off Anakin Skywalker looking for you.... (The Unspoken Amidala_Skywalker rule)

    Am [face_love]
  9. padawan lunetta Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 1999
    star 6
    (LOL Hermie! Though that was the rule I was going to put up ;))

    Rule #9

    Cliffhangars are of the Sith, and must be avoided at all costs.

    Exception: You are a sadist author bent on reader torture, then it is customary to let it hang for a couple of days.

    (See any fics by Rebelmom or padawan lunetta.)
  10. AquaRose Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 6, 2001
    star 4
    Rule #10

    Refrain from use of all bad words known in English(Huttise is Ok no one understands that stuff;) I mean I get tired of having to NOT recomend fanfics to others cause of lemons and bad launage.
  11. Gandalf the Grey Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 14, 2000
    star 6
    Rule #10

    Never forget about a fic in progress and don't update for a month. Reader hate that.
  12. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Even if your story does not feature Obi-Wan Kenobi in any way, shape, or form, don't forget to add Obi-Torture to everything you write. This keeps the Council for the Prevention of Cruelty to Jedi on their toes and gives them a reason for existance.

    ;)
  13. padawan lunetta Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 1999
    star 6
    Rule #12

    Never, under any circumstances, edit the chapter you recieve from your beta late at night and put it up. This could result in missed suggestions, (even to the point of not editing out the remarks) and letting readers see your weaknesses.

    (The Author to check wishes to remain anonymous ;))
  14. SiriGallia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    Rule #13

    If you're gone on a trip DO NOT tell your readers when you will post next, because if you DO NOT post then, there will be tourches and Author-torture. ;) (This is something a lot of people have learned ;) )
  15. Herman Snerd Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 1999
    star 6
    Hey Snarky, I resent your rule that cliffhangers are evil.

    Some of us enjoy them. (Well, writing them anyway) :D
  16. padawan lunetta Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 1999
    star 6
    Hermie, didst thou not seest the exception? ;)
  17. Herman Snerd Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 1999
    star 6
    I saw it and I didn't like it. ;)

    (The truth hurts) [face_mischief]
  18. SiriGallia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    Rule #14

    There will be writer's block {period}
  19. Sticks Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 4
    When in doubt, refer to the Dos and Don'ts of fanfic authors...

    Example: Sticks

    Examples not to follow: Starts threads for fics long before the first post of the actual fic; writes cliffhangers that imply that two main characters are dead, builds on them (occasionally spanning two stories), and lets them sit for a week before any kind of resolution; rarely gives in to begging, threats, or bribery for extra posts; occasionally lets the readers opine on what should happen next in the story, but rarely takes their advice; manages time poorly, so that when she does have a chance to post, she wastes it on other parts of the boards.

    Example to follow: Loves her readers.
  20. Ty-gon Jinn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 4
    The Do's and Don't's of Fanfic Authors (Cool Idea, Sticks)

    Example: Ty-gon Jinn

    Example not to follow- Naming all characters by spelling something backwards (See my ill-fated "The Assassin's Sabre," in which I used "Monica," "Sarah," and even "Spleen" backward for character names), naming a character Jo'nar in every story for no good reason, be the "Master of Bizarre Plot Twists" whether people like it or not (That's why I had to kill all my Talon characters), never mention when you may or may not be posting next, write your sequels and prequels with no semblance of chronology (Though that one is a vice that will be revealed later with my "Shadows of Conflict").

    Example to follow: Build a fan base by asking a fairly well-known author if you can reccomend his stuff.
  21. Melyanna Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2001
    star 4
    The Dos and Don'ts of fanfic authors (Look, Sticks, I'm actually the third example!)

    Example: Melyanna

    Examples not to follow: Posts at least once a day, normally more than once a day, on her most popular story. Habitually starts posting fics and never finishes them within a reasonable amount of time. Asks her readers for suggestions and then ignores them. Resolves cliffhangers too quickly. Is a compulsive overachiever.

    Examples to follow: Posts at least once a day, normally more than once a day, on her most popular story. Occasionally asks her readers survey questions about various and sundry topics. Rarely posts cliffhangers. Posts compulsively.

    :D
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