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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends The Hunt (Legacy era, Mandalorian OC, other OCs.)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by whiskers, Sep 19, 2007.

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  1. VIII

    VIII Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2005
    Another good chapter. This one kind of gives an image about how things will develop..
     
  2. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Very nicely done! :)

    ?It was the Sith,? he said, confirming Lesko?s assumption. ?They hired me to kill or capture the crew,? he added.

    ?And my son?? Lesko asked. ?What about him??

    ?I don?t know,? Wyallt replied. ?But they never mentioned it when they contacted me.?

    Lesko looked at the Rodian Mandalorian, not quite sure what to make of it. ?Why are you saying all of this?? he asked, wondering if he was even telling the truth.

    ?They have my son,? Wyallt replied
    .


    =D=
     
  3. Corran_Fett

    Corran_Fett Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Very good job on that update! [face_dancing] It's probably my favorite so far, as I had been waiting for the twist and it came with this chapter. Great idea behind the Sith tactics to lure a Mando merc, who doesn't take on children, to capture a kid... spot-on job on capturing the sly Sith plan and lie forging. :D

    This is shaping up better and better, keep it up, man! [face_peace]
     
  4. correllian_ale

    correllian_ale Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 2005
    :eek: Wow! This is great whiskers!

    Part I
    ?I was skeptical at first?what with that whole Caedus situation a century ago?but a job is a job.?

    Love how you combined the two eras, sweet.


    ?I don?t care for the Empire, miss,? the Rodian said. ?All I care about is money,? he added.

    It was a lie based on all she knew of his culture. His kind was heavily influenced by the concept of family, an influence that she could use to her advantage. She had done her research on him and his kind before the meeting. Yes, she thought, his son would make excellent motivation for him to finish the job. Even now, a few Sith students were hiding out on Mandalore, waiting to make their move. She, of course, feigned ignorance of Mandalorian culture publicly.


    A Rodian Mandalorian...very cool concept.



    Part II

    I like how you gave him a scar from an old bounty, I wouldn't mind hearing more of his past.

    And I wonder what else will be waiting at Eriadu?



    Part III

    ?I?ve got a hit already,? Mandalore replied. ?Surprising?? The shattered and fragmented image flickered for a second and the image of Mandalore appeared to turn his head. ?One of my contacts claims to have seen a ship of their class in the Seswenna Sector near Eriadu. I?m sending you the information now.?

    I knew it! ;)


    ?They know what sector we?re in, maybe more than that,? Lesko replied. ?Mandalore?s been using up favors that are owed to him to gather as much intel as he can.?

    ?So we need to set up tighter watch schedules and be prepared for anything,? the Quarren said, her own experience with the more military side of the underworld showing.

    ?I can set up some additional and longer sensor sweeps that will let us know a few seconds ahead of time of any approaching ships. A few seconds ahead of our current arrangement, of course,? the Xexto pilot replied.

    ?Good ideas,? Lesko said, slightly surprised on how quick to action this crew could get when the threats were truly real. ?Let?s implement them before they find us.?

    Somehow, I don't think that's gonna be enough!


    Part IV

    I really like the way your building towards the inevitable in each and every chapter.


    Part V

    More tension! I love it, and now Wyallt is in their psossesion. [face_worried]


    Part VI

    I love it how they are all in the same boat now. (well, more or less)


    Bravo whisksers! Keep me posted on updates!

    =D= =D= =D=






     
  5. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    VaderLVR

    Thanks for reading! Glad you enjoyed the latest chapter.

    Corran_Fett

    It's probably my favorite so far, as I had been waiting for the twist and it came with this chapter.

    Yes. The Force-sensitive son. The real question is whether or not the Sith knew about it or not. They're really sneaky, so you never know.

    Great idea behind the Sith tactics to lure a Mando merc, who doesn't take on children, to capture a kid...

    At this moment, I am pretty certain that the Sith knew about the Force-sensitivity. Using the merc to acquire the child was a pretty good idea that had been lingering around the back of my head.

    This is shaping up better and better, keep it up, man!

    It's going to get better, I hope. Next chapter is written and about ready to post.

    correllian_ale

    Love how you combined the two eras, sweet.

    With having Mandalorians involved, I felt somewhat obligated to mention Jacen and his little escapades around the galaxy. There's another brief mention in the next chapter, too, in regards to a legacy.

    A Rodian Mandalorian...very cool concept.

    Inspired by a single panel in the KotOR comics. It just grew.

    I like how you gave him a scar from an old bounty, I wouldn't mind hearing more of his past.

    I'll try to fit some in if I can. If not, there's always a prequel story.

    And I wonder what else will be waiting at Eriadu?

    I suppose you already know that now.

    I knew it!

    Figured as much.

    Somehow, I don't think that's gonna be enough!

    It indeed was. A good use of the buddy system if I do say so, myself. But if Wyallt had been in his right mind... It probably wouldn't have been.

    I really like the way your building towards the inevitable in each and every chapter.

    The fight had to be built up, in my opinion, even if it wasn't going to be the real meat of the story. It had to be a real conflict regardless of how things may or may not turn out.

    More tension! I love it, and now Wyallt is in their psossesion.

    It's always bad when a protagonist is captured, but what happens if another protagonist is the captor? [face_thinking]

    I love it how they are all in the same boat now. (well, more or less)

    Glad to hear. Thanks for reading.
     
  6. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    The Hunt
    Part 7

    ?Tell me what you?ve found,? Lesko asked through his comlink to the members of his crew that was currently inside of their Rodian ?guest??s ship several kilometers away.

    ?What he says is true,? Illiat replied, ?or at least it?s backed up by the databases.?

    ?Any sign of tampering?? Lesko asked. His wife had thought up a rather interesting possibility a day ago of the Mandalorian programming his computers to display false information when a certain code was entered. It was possible, he believed.

    ?Not at the moment,? Illiat replied after a brief moment that Lesko assumed to be the Quarren asking the crew?s computer expert. ?At least not that we can see. If it?s there, it?s very well hidden.?

    ?That?s very comforting,? Lesko muttered. ?Keep me informed,? he spoke up before turning off the comlink. With a sigh, he placed the communications device onto the table he sat at. There was no real evidence that their prisoner was lying, or had tampered with his systems in any way, yet Lesko wanted to believe that it had to be. He wasn?t this untrusting before, he thought to himself. He fiddled with a holochip that contained a message that he had gotten recently. Only he and the being that sent it to him even knew of its existence. Even his wife didn?t know what was on the message.

    He stood up from the table, pocketing the holochip as he did so. It was probably the nature of such a rescue mission, he thought.

    ***

    ?And what?s your opinion of me, then?? Wyallt asked, finally being let out of his makeshift cell. Illiat and the Devaronian Tal?En stood nearby, blaster rifles set on stun in the case that he decided to cause trouble.

    ?We couldn?t find any evidence that you?re lying,? Lesko replied. ?At least none that your ship revealed,? he added.

    ?It?s because I?m not lying,? Wyallt insisted. ?As you?ve probably seen, the Sith have my boy.?

    ?But he?s human?? one crew member blurted out. ?How?s he your son??

    ?Adopted,? Lesko and Wyallt said around the same time. ?We Mandalorians know that a family is not limited to only genealogical ties,? Wyallt continued. ?An adopted son is just as cared for as a biological one. In truth, there is no difference.? The Rodian cleared his throat before continuing. ?The Sith have my son and are holding him hostage. I tried to do things their way, but now I?m doing the best I can to get him back.?

    ?Why not have your friends rescue him, instead of automatically going after us?? Lesko asked.

    ?Because?while we Mandalorians are great warriors?our track record against Force-sensitives has never been as good as we have hoped. And when I met with the Sith to deliver you, I could have fought them back alone.?

    ?That was your initial plan?? Lesko asked.

    ?I?m desperate,? Wyallt replied. ?And I need your help.?

    ?Just said that you were planning to kill us a few days ago,? Lesko asked, ?how can we be sure that you won?t do it now? That this isn?t just a ploy to make us lower our defenses??

    ?It isn?t,? Wyallt replied, his voice insistent.


    ?I don?t know,? Illiat said an hour later when Wyallt had been returned to the brig. ?He seems to be telling the truth. He keeps his story straight, and there?s absolutely no proof to say that he is lying.?

    ?I even sliced into what serves as Mandalore?s hall of records,? O-Staya replied, the Kegan-born said. ?His son exists and was noted down as being adopted by Wyallt and his wife about five years ago.?

    ?Nothing about a recent disappearance?? Lesko asked.

    ?No, but their records system doesn?t exactly work like that,? she replied.

    ?Of course it doesn?t,? Lesko muttered, ?that would be too easy for us??

    ?If you want my opinion, captain, I think he?s trustworthy.?

    ?I really didn?t??

    ?What if it was your son?? she boldly asked. ?You?d do anything, wouldn?t you??

    ?You?re lucky that Meliina isn?t in here at the moment,? Lesko growled. ?That?s not relevant.?

    ?It is, captain,? Illiat replied. ?I know you?d do everything that you could. I say that it?s safe
     
  7. correllian_ale

    correllian_ale Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 2005
    ?Well,? Lesko sighed, thinking back over history. Vader, Caedus, and now Krayt?s Order. ?My family just doesn?t seem to have the best of luck when it comes to the Sith??


    Hmmm...[face_thinking]


    ...Now give me back my helmet,? he added, extending his hand. ?And put in a call to Mandalore,? he ordered. ?You bring in the Jedi, I bring in some of the real big guns??


    :cool:


    Great post, can't wait for the next.
     
  8. VIII

    VIII Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2005
    Good one, keep it up.

    Now give me back my helmet,? he added, extending his hand. ?And put in a call to Mandalore,? he ordered. ?You bring in the Jedi, I bring in some of the real big guns??

    I'm looking forward to that..

     
  9. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    Correllian_ale

    Hmmm... [face_thinking]

    I believe I know what you're thinking there...

    Great post, can't wait for the next.

    I see that the Mandalorian/Jedi/Smuggler team is really hitting it big. I thought that it would be quite an interesting sight to see. Almost like a "Tales of the Galactic Alliance" party, eh?

    VIII

    Good one, keep it up.

    Thanks!
     
  10. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    I'm only partially through Part 3, but I'm really enjoying this story so far! Love the idea of a Rodian Mandalorian - never saw that before. Nice change from Rodians always being the evil scum. :p

    Will catch up soon - great work!
     
  11. Corran_Fett

    Corran_Fett Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Great update, things are beginning to get real interesting! [face_dancing] :cool:

    And yay, finally Lowie in Legacy. :D You raised quite some questions in the new part, but they only add more depth to your OCs. Very nice job.

    As everyone, I love the last line. I'm sure the update will be great, and it'll be nice seeing Mandos fight alongside Jedi - something that might've happened last in the Vong wars, heh. Keep it up, and sorry for the delay on my feedback.
     
  12. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    ...Now give me back my helmet,? he added, extending his hand. ?And put in a call to Mandalore,? he ordered. ?You bring in the Jedi, I bring in some of the real big guns??

    Yet another wonderful post! =D=
     
  13. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    JadeSolo

    I'm only partially through Part 3, but I'm really enjoying this story so far!

    Good to hear. I only hope that you didn't accidentally spoil yourself.

    Love the idea of a Rodian Mandalorian - never saw that before.

    It's been done in the KotOR era, but I just ran with it.

    Nice change from Rodians always being the evil scum.

    Well, not-so-evil is always better than full evil, in my opinion.

    Corran_Fett

    Great update, things are beginning to get real interesting!

    Interesting indeed. I hope that what I can come up with is as interesting.

    And yay, finally Lowie in Legacy.

    He's showed up in a previous story in the era, featuring several members of the smuggling crew. Bit role then, though.

    You raised quite some questions in the new part, but they only add more depth to your OCs.

    I'll answer some of them in the story if it's easily slid into the narrative. I don't want to force it.

    and it'll be nice seeing Mandos fight alongside Jedi - something that might've happened last in the Vong wars, heh.

    I thought so, too. If they can work together, however...

    Keep it up, and sorry for the delay on my feedback.

    Bah, no problem.

    VaderLVR64

    Yet another wonderful post!

    It's going to get interesting...
     
  14. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    The Hunt
    Part 8

    ?Oya,? Wyallt simply said to each of the five heavily armored warriors stepped into the cargo bay. Each of them wore armor of the same design, but each set was customized to some degree. Four of the Mandalorian warriors were human?three men and one woman?while the other was a female Trandoshan. The armor colors of each of the five Mandalorians was different; each one a small testament to the individuality of their wearer.

    ?Let me introduce everyone to you, Captain Hallian,? Wyallt replied, gesturing to the group as a whole. ?This is Thallen Mell,? he said, pointing to the human male wearing a dark maroon armor. Thallen?s face had a few scars on it, but none to the extent as his armor. The maroon beskar plates of the armor bore numerous scorch marks where blaster shots had hit the durable material. The ?centerpiece?, however, was a large burn gash that ran diagonally across the chest.

    ?Imperial Knight on Selvernos,? Thallen replied, motioning to the blonde woman. She wore a silver crystal about her neck, no doubt the focusing crystal from a lightsaber. ?He didn?t last long. Pity.?

    Lesko frowned, hoping that his apparent distaste for that single Imperial Knight didn?t extend to all Jedi in particular. The fact that a Wookiee Jedi Master and a Trandoshan Mandalorian would be on the same mission was already setting off alarms for potential clashes within the group. ?It won?t be a problem,? Wyallt quickly said, sensing Lesko?s hesitation.

    Wyallt pointed to the woman next. ?This is Breanna Mell,? he said, ?Thallen?s wife.? Breanna nodded, swinging her teal helmet idly.

    Wyallt continued to introduce the Mandalorians that had volunteered to help him in his quest to rescue his son. ?Looks like quite a crew you?ve assembled,? Lesko said.

    ?They?re the best warriors that I know, save for Mandalore himself,? he stated.

    [Perhaps that is exactly what we need for this mission,] a series of howls and growls stated from entrance of the ship. A translator droid attached to the Wookiee?s belt repeated the opening phrase in Basic for those that did not understand his language.

    ?Master Lowbacca,? Lesko greeted, bowing slightly to the over century-old Wookiee and to the five Jedi following him into the ship. ?Good to see that you and the rest have arrived.?

    ?We must be quick,? a young looking, dark skinned Jedi said, ?we may have been spotted.?

    [Yes,] Lowbacca grumbled, [I don?t fear that we?re in any real danger, but we had better be headed out quick.]

    ?I feared that,? Meliina stated, holding her son.

    ?Hopefully this isn?t the last time that we hold him,? Lesko replied as his wife handed the toddler over to the young Jedi. ?Take good care of him until we get back.?

    ?Don?t worry,? the Jedi replied. ?He?ll be in good care.?

    The child struggled in the Jedi?s arms, not completely understanding why he had to leave and why his parents looked so sad.

    ?Sorry to take you away from this moment,? Wyallt said as he headed to close the cargo bay door as the Jedi walked out of the ship. ?We do need to get going, though.? The Rodian turned to look at the captain and wife as they remained stationary, their eyes misting up. ?Look,? he said, his voice full of understanding, ?I know that this has to be hard on you. You?re going to see him again, count on it.?

    ?Take it out on the Sith,? Breanna suggested, placing her helmet on her head.

    [That would not be the best solution,] Lowbacca explained. [The Dark?]

    ?Spare us the dogma, Jedi,? the Trandoshan spoke. ?We don?t need it.?

    ?Enough!? Lesko shouted before the beginnings of a shouting match became something much more. ?I know that your two groups don?t always get along, but there?s a kid in the middle of this battle.?

    ?Exactly!? Wyallt exclaimed, getting in the face of several of the other Mandalorians in the room. ?This isn?t about the differences between Mando and Jedi,? he explained. ?This is about my son and rescuing him from the Sith. There?s an ancient saying that the enemy of my enemy is m
     
  15. VIII

    VIII Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2005
    Good update, I suppose the story is gonna get going more now.

    And a Trandoshan Mando, nice one..

     
  16. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    ?Where?s he being held?? Lesko asked several hours later, as the group sat beside a table.

    Lowbacca sat on the floor of the ship, meditating. [He is indeed on Coruscant,] the Wookiee Jedi Master said, gazing at the group out of the Force vision that he had induced upon himself. [Inside of the Temple of the Sith.]

    ?The temple,? a young Zabrak replied. ?Do they have any respect??

    ?None for the Jedi, from what I?ve heard,? Lesko answered. Besides Lowbacca, he noticed as he looked towards the other Jedi, they were all young. Not a one of them over 25, he saw.

    ?How are we going to get in there?? A human Jedi asked. ?It?s not as if they?re going to let us back in to fetch a few things that we left behind.?

    ?I have a plan for that,? Wyallt replied. ?We?ll get in.?


    Wonderful! =D=
     
  17. Corran_Fett

    Corran_Fett Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Sweet update. :D

    Nice job introducing the Mando cavalry, and showcasing the tension between Jedi and Mandos. One of my favorites bits was this:
    Small details like that are what sets a great story apart from an only moderate one. [face_peace]

    They're facing quite some overkill, taking directly on the Temple of the Sith. :p It sounds a bit like over-the-top now, but I'm sure you'll manage to handle it nicely when we get there.

    Only one thing that you might improve on: you're often repeating words. It's probably something that's harder for a writer to notice than a reader, but when you go through your new chapter one or two times before posting, you can get rid of small glitches like that - there's always great sites like http://thesaurus.reference.com/ if you've run out of synonyms. ;) Like I said, they're only small glitches, and don't impair the reading experience and reading flow. So no biggie, just thought I'd let you know.
     
  18. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    VII

    Good update, I suppose the story is gonna get going more now.

    Wait until you see what happens in the next chapter...

    And a Trandoshan Mando, nice one..

    With a culture that functions heavily on adoption, I figured "why not have some aliens in there. A Trandoshan has the potential to be very good...

    VaderLVR64

    Wonderful!

    Thanks for reading!

    Corran_Fett

    Nice job introducing the Mando cavalry, and showcasing the tension between Jedi and Mandos. One of my favorites bits was this:

    To include a little bit more tension into the story, the idea of having an actual Jedi killer--albeit an Imperial Knight--be there. Having the lightsaber crystal be a love gift was just awesome in my own opinion.

    Small details like that are what sets a great story apart from an only moderate one.

    Thanks.

    They're facing quite some overkill, taking directly on the Temple of the Sith.

    I, um... Better wait until the next chapter. There will be Sith, that's for sure, and I haven't made up my mind if there are going to be any survivors and how many there'll be...

    Only one thing that you might improve on: you're often repeating words. [...] Like I said, they're only small glitches, and don't impair the reading experience and reading flow. So no biggie, just thought I'd let you know.

    Thanks for the link, and the constructive criticism. I appreciate it.
     
  19. VIII

    VIII Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2005
    I haven't made up my mind if there are going to be any survivors and how many there'll be...

    I hope you meen survivors among the Sith;).
     
  20. correllian_ale

    correllian_ale Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 2005
    ?Take it out on the Sith,? Breanna suggested, placing her helmet on her head.

    [That would not be the best solution,] Lowbacca explained. [The Dark?]

    ?Spare us the dogma, Jedi,? the Trandoshan spoke. ?We don?t need it.?

    ?Enough!? Lesko shouted before the beginnings of a shouting match became something much more. ?I know that your two groups don?t always get along, but there?s a kid in the middle of this battle.?



    So much tension, I love it! I'm all amped up!!!
     
  21. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    VII

    I hope you meen survivors among the Sith

    No...

    correllian_ale

    So much tension, I love it! I'm all amped up!!!

    Thanks. I couldn't make it easy, you know... Next chapter up next year. :p
     
  22. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    Yeah, that was a stupid joke... I'm ashamed of myself.

    ***

    ?I can?t believe that we?re actually going to do this,? Illiat said as the night side of Coruscant illuminated the bridge of the ship. As it was for thousands of years, the city lights of the city-wide planet gleamed a collective orangish-yellow. ?It?s almost suicide.?

    ?You agreed to it at first, though,? Lesko replied, giving the Imperial flight controllers on the planet below a false transponder. ?Thankfully, it?s not as bad as we once thought.? The original vision shown through the Force to Lowbacca, the senior Jedi on the mission, had shown Wyallt?s abducted son in the Temple of the Sith. The latest vision had the boy in an Imperial facility that was adjacent to the temple. Still a dangerous place to spring the boy and any other captives from due to the proximity, but it wasn?t an almost certain death for a majority of the group.

    ?I am still nervous,? the Quarren replied. ?It?s a quick run from point A to point B.?

    ?You will be able to go through with the mission, though, right?? Lesko asked.

    The Quarren nodded, motioning to the blaster pistol in a shoulder holster. ?Of course, captain.?

    ?You don?t have to worry about us,? the Trandoshan Mandalorian said, ?we?re not having second thoughts.?

    ?I figured that,? Lesko replied. ?I don?t think many of my people are, really. Some are just a little more nervous than the others.?

    ?And the Jedi?? Breanna asked.

    ?They?re hiding themselves at the moment,? Lesko replied. ?They say that they don?t want to alert anyone before the time was right.?

    ?I certainly hope that your plan works,? Thallen said to Wyallt, who had just begun adjusting his armor and weaponry.

    ?It,? the Rodian began, his helmet sealing with a barely audible hissing sound, ?will.? The final word filtered out through speakers. ?If we all keep to the plan, we should do quite well.?

    ?Here?s our turn, gentlebeings,? Lesko replied, speaking into the intra-ship comlink to let every sentient on board know. In the distance, several kilometers away and to Lesko?s left, the transparisteel pyramids of the Jedi temple stood, shattering, revealing the construction of what the Jedi would probably consider a perversion and an even more disrespect than simply being in there. The central spire was surrounded by a half completed pyramid, trying to enclose the structure. A giant beacon flame burned from the top, fueled by an unknown agent. The four other spires surrounded the structure. They had once?in a previous form that were once used as meeting places of several Jedi councils. When the new Jedi order and the Galactic Alliance had rebuilt the temple at the end of the Yuuzhan Vong War, Lesko remembered, only one of the spires was actually used. He recalled that other members of his family telling him?in passing?that the other spires were used as museums and teaching auditoriums.

    ?That?s our cue,? Lesko said, standing up from the piloting chair and letting the Xexto pilot take control. ?You know what to do,? he said.

    ?Yes, captain,? was the reply. With a keycode disconnecting the slave circuitry from the ship, the craft swerved violently from the original flight plan, headed directly towards Processional Way and the military facility. Warning alarms beeped frantically, alerting the crew that they had just entered restricted airspace. As Lesko, Meliina, and the Mandalorians left the bridge, the Xexto casually silenced them. With the same motion, he turned the two quad cannons to automatic mode.

    The crew briskly walked away from the bridge of ship, headed down the main hallway to the stairs that led them towards the cargo bay and main entrance. When they reached the cargo bay, they were met by the Jedi, as well as Terrsk and Tal?en. The Jedi were wearing their robes, lightsabers clipped to their belts. Terrsk wore a simple plasteel vest to protect his vitals from a blaster shot. The Zabrak also carried a simple blaster pistol and a medium-sized medpac. Tal?en on the other hand? The Devaronian c
     
  23. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    You've created some amazing OCs here. =D= It took me a while, but I made it. Yet another superb chapter. =D=
     
  24. Corran_Fett

    Corran_Fett Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Sorry for the delayed reply, man. :(

    This was a great update, coherent in all aspects. =D=

    My favorite bit was the little The Force Unleashed scene. :p

    Very well done scene. [face_peace]

    Oh, and I love window-smashing rappelling action. :cool:

     
  25. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    Sorry for the wait all. There is absolutely no excuse.

    VaderLVR

    You've created some amazing OCs here. It took me a while, but I made it. Yet another superb chapter.

    The OCs are pretty good, in my opinion. I'm glad that someone else is actually enjoying them.

    Corran_Fett

    My favorite bit was the little The Force Unleashed scene.

    I frequently flop between powerful Jedi and less powerful, but I wanted this scene in. It's inspired by something that happened in Darksaber, if I remember correctly.

    Oh, and I love window-smashing rappelling action.

    You'll get one! Maybe more... And we'll have the first casualty of the mission...

    ***

    The Hunt
    Part 10


    A cloaked figure swung down from the roof of the military base, her foot leading, striking the already weak transparisteel. The glass-like window shattered and was blown inward by the Force, the shards landing harmlessly on the uncarpeted floor. In a swift, fluid motion, Lowbacca?s apprentice removed the lightsaber from her belt and ignited it, causing a yellowish-orange beam of light to shimmer into existence. Lora instinctively moved her arms up, catching a blaster shot and deflecting it back to its firer before her lightsaber had fully extended. The bolt hit the Imperial officer in the chest, killing him instantly and painlessly.

    ?You?d better hurry,? Lora spoke into her comlink. She could feel the alarm that the officer?s blaster shot had caused through the Force, and she knew that others would come to find the fate of that officer. Wyallt soon joined her, the Rodian Mando quickly moving the officer?s sturdy desk towards the back of the room. Her Master followed.

    By the time that the Wookiee had set foot on the ground, Wyallt had crouched behind the desk and was fiddling with something on his belt. All three in the room, blessed with enhanced hearing from both the mystical and mechanical realms, they could hear the sounds of heavy boots rushing their way. ?Get to cover,? Wyallt ordered. ?Even Jedi can get shot??

    [I do know that fact very well,] Lowbacca growled in reply, mournful tones creeping in. The Wookiee and his Padawan raised their lightsaber in a defensive posture. The Trandoshan Mandalorian landed in the window seconds later, just as the door was blown open by the Empire. The front ranks of Stormtroopers opened fire as soon as they saw the group, their blaster rifles blazing. A number of the shots hit the Trandoshan, penetrating her armor and scaly hide. The mighty warrior let out a scream of pain and terror as she fell to her death.

    Wyallt called out his friends name as she fell, pouring fire at the Imperial troops. One fell to his blaster fire.


    ?They?re pinned down,? Lesko said, listening to the Rodian?s report via an earpiece. ?Where?s the nearest window?? he asked, sticking his head over the side of the building. ?We?ve lost one,? he sadly reported upon seeing the motionless body of the Trandoshan laying on the duracrete ground.

    ?Time for mourning later,? Thallen replied, picking up the grappling hook from the roof and sidestepped about three meters. ?This should be sufficient,? he added.

    ?I sense Sith,? another Jedi stated, the human male opening his eyes and racing towards the end of the building facing the temple. He scanned the horizon, picking up the small shuttle slowly headed towards the building. ?They?re coming!? he shouted, running towards the rest of the group.

    ?Better hurry, then,? Illiat said, her facial tentacles curling nervously.

    ?Got it!? Thallen said, attaching the cable to his belt. Moving quickly, the Mandalorian dropped down to the window and swiftly kicked it in. The sound of blaster fire muting the destruction, Thallen clutched the barrel of his blaster rifle. Illiat was next, the Quarren having to be physically restrained from moving to help her companions too early. Breanna was next.

    ?Should be enough for now,? Thallen stated, moving towards the door. He thumbed it open and leaned out. Thre
     
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