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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

JCC The JCC Watches Movies! (this Friday night... STREET FIGHTER: THE MOVIE!)

Discussion in 'Community' started by JoinTheSchwarz , Feb 7, 2015.

  1. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Shelf of Shame Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    In the distant future, we should do Dylan Dog: Dead of Night.
     
  2. jp-30

    jp-30 Manager Emeritus star 10 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2000
    I like the softcore sci fi ones.
     
  3. Bacon164

    Bacon164 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Mar 22, 2005
    u guys should watch my theatrical Hobbit fan edit bc I'm a narcissist
     
  4. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    Tell us more.
     
    harpua likes this.
  5. dp4m

    dp4m Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 2001
    "Are you, Bacon, menstruating right now?"
     
  6. Bacon164

    Bacon164 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Mar 22, 2005
    i made two edits. one is three hours long, treated as a hypothetical version distributed in a theater. the other is four hours long, treated as a hypothetical extended cut distributed for the purposes of home viewing. Both cuts are all about Martin Freeman and not Orlando Bloom. everything else is below and is not interesting.

    The final theatrical cut runtime is just a minute longer than Titanic and five minutes shorter than Return of the King, but all the book's material is there, if a bit rushed (the final battle sequence is given a particularly short stick). I cut it with the mindset of a Fellowship-era Jackson, i.e. "if there's a scene without the titular protagonist, there better be a damn good reason for it."

    In both cuts, there is no Ian Holm in terrible makeup, no Radagast, Saruman, Tauriel, Bolg, little to no Legolas, no Super Mario Bros shenanigans in the goblin tunnels, no barrel orc chase, no nighttime escapades in Laketown, no sequence with the dwarves attempting to kill Smaug, Legolas never leaves Mirkwood. Azog is present only with a hint of a past with Thorin, and the leader of the two orc armies.

    the extended cut's pacing aligns much more closely to Jackson's LOTR films, whereas the theatrical cut sometimes borders on frantic LEGO Movie pacing. the extended cut is also almost 4 hours long. Galadriel gets a cameo scene with Gandalf in Rivendell, there's the blunt the knives sequence, the stone giants, a lot more of the visit with Beorn, and Thorin's BOTFA arc has much more room to breathe, and there's more time with the battle itself.

    But in both versions, we miss basically the entire Ravenhill sequence, including the Azog vs Thorin confrontation, all because Bilbo gets knocked out. And you don't see Fili and Kili die, nor is it ever established that they die. So if you don't wanna miss out on the hot dwarves' deaths... they're not in it, sry.

    oh and the biggest problem is the black arrow. the kid kinda just shows up on the tower with it. i don't know what to do with it but i also don't care to include the whole "Bard hears the dragon in the mountain, reveals that he's had a black arrow passed down from generation to generation, tries to hide the black arrow, but entrusts it to his son when people try to arrest him, so the son hides it in a boat, and Bard gets arrested but escapes two minutes later" subplot.
     
  7. Harpua

    Harpua Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Will you be upset if we lampoon the **** out of it? Because that's pretty much what we do. :p
     
  8. Bacon164

    Bacon164 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Mar 22, 2005
    are you saying you're not going to take my masturbatory Hobbit fan edit seriously
     
  9. dp4m

    dp4m Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 2001
    We might actually masturbate to it...
     
  10. A Chorus of Disapproval

    A Chorus of Disapproval Head Admin & TV Screaming Service star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Aug 19, 2003
    ... I've had an urge to rub my little Blacula nearly nonstop since our last film.
     
  11. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Shelf of Shame Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    I'm reporting you. To yourself. So you can edit and scold yourself, and then threaten to take yourself on a vacation.
     
  12. A Chorus of Disapproval

    A Chorus of Disapproval Head Admin & TV Screaming Service star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Aug 19, 2003
    My post was completely contextual to our film and not at all laced with innuendo. #youhadtobethere
     
  13. Harpua

    Harpua Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2005
    gtfotb, man.
     
  14. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Shelf of Shame Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
  15. Ramza

    Ramza Administrator Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2008
    No, there can be no apologies for such a grievous misstep. Mere words will do naught! To repent you must travel to the westernmost grove on the continent. There you will meet an ancient mad wizard who speaks only in riddles coded in dirty limericks - answer not the first, not the third, but the second of these riddles, and they will reveal to you the location of the fourth scroll of Dumethol, last prophet of Cyäegha, the Supreme Nihilist, the Sleeper in Dunkelhügel, the Eye that Guards the Vaeyen. Seek it out, but do not read it directly, for even a single word of its contents can bend the minds of mortal men. Instead, deliver the scroll to the highest peak of سلسلہ کوہ قراقرم, the one the explorers calls K2. Speak there the fel verses and offer blood sacrifice from a pregnant goat during the full moon. The conflux so revealed will bestow your forgiveness.
     
  16. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    We got a date tonight, friends.
     
  17. EmpireForever

    EmpireForever Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Mar 15, 2004
    No kidding, I spent all last night thinking it was Saturday wondering why we weren't watching a movie.
     
    Boba_Fett_2001 likes this.
  18. Boba_Fett_2001

    Boba_Fett_2001 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2000
  19. GrandAdmiralJello

    GrandAdmiralJello Comms Admin ❉ Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 28, 2000
    So is this one supposed to be good?
     
  20. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    The best. The kind of movie to have YouTube tributes and reaction videos.
     
  21. GrandAdmiralJello

    GrandAdmiralJello Comms Admin ❉ Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 28, 2000
    Alcohol needed/recommended?

    edit: I realize the answer to this is "always" but specifically to this movie...?
     
  22. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    It's no HELLSCAPE. This movie is unintentionally hilarious even while sober, seriously. It's that over the top.
     
  23. jp-30

    jp-30 Manager Emeritus star 10 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2000
    Over shoulder mirror needed for approaching children / spouse?
     
  24. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    Oh yes, it's rated R for boobies.
     
  25. GrandAdmiralJello

    GrandAdmiralJello Comms Admin ❉ Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 28, 2000
    In other words, perfect for jp.
     
    JoinTheSchwarz likes this.