The Jedi Tartin

Discussion in 'Scotland' started by pmaciocia, Apr 27, 2001.

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  1. pmaciocia Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2001
    I reckon there should be a jedi tartan. Obi can wear the kilt. Any suggestions???
  2. ObiMcD Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2000
    star 4
    In my film, Episode I: The Feminine Menace, Obi-Wan is a scottish man wearing a kilt, however he's just going to wear the traditional stewart royal tartan.
  3. kahli Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 1, 2000
    star 5
    Isn't there some extensive questionaire-ing and DNA testing to register a new tartan?
  4. Darth_Balor Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2001
    actually it is quite easy to design a new tartan, the expensive thing is registering it.
  5. MOTs_Minx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 26, 2000
    star 6
    Woooo I didnt see this thread to start off with...

    A Jedi Tartan.

    Minx McJedi - I'm gonny change ma user name methinks LOL

    And I think the tartan should be purple and silver - cuz they're my fave colors.

    LOL LOL LOL
  6. MOTs_Minx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 26, 2000
    star 6
  7. MOTs_Minx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 26, 2000
    star 6
  8. PadawanSDM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 4
    Jedi Tartan eh?

    Can you imagine Star Wars set in Glasgow...

    Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he'd only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and be called Shug. He'd have the same amount of body hair, but would also have tattoos. He would permanently smell of whisky and p**s and sport either a Rangers or Celtic top.

    Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts.

    Darth Vader would be referred to as 'Auld Helmet Heid' or in moments of stress 'That Dome-Heided B******d'

    R2D2 would refuse to go out on the streets after 10pm, because of the number of drunks who would try to stuff chip papers in his head casing or p*** on him. He would also refuse to go near groups of wee boys at any
    time because of the high risk of being spray painted, dumped in front of a speeding train or set on fire.

    Although proficient in over 3,500 languages C3P0 would still be unable to understand anything anyone from the East End of Glasgow said. He would regularly get beaten up for being a 'greetin-faced poof fae Milngavie'.

    The Millenium Falcon would have static strips, tinted indscreens and
    extra-flared exhaust ports. It would have a Daily Record, "I Love Scotland"
    sticker in the back window and a Saltire bumper sticker.

    Princess Leia would get captured by Darth Vader because it's hard to run very fast when you're wearing 5-inch platform heels and a tiny silver mini-skirt which keeps hiking up over your arse every two steps. And you've been a heavy smoker since you were 6.

    The best way to destroy the Death Star would not necessarily be a desperate all-out attack. Two easy ways would be: (a) alter its orbit so it passed through Bridgeton and tell the locals it was full of Roman
    Catholics,

    or (b) leave it unattended in Easterhouse.

    Lines from the film as they would be uttered in the vernacular:-

    "I've got a real bad feeling about this" "Ah'm shitin' ma sel' here boy"

    "There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny."
    "The Force?!! D'youse think ah came doon wae the rain?!"

    "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
    Nae messin aboot wae the god squad and auld
    rubbish, wee man. Get yersel' a decent shooter"

  9. Shara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 4, 2000
    star 4
    Although I found that rather amusing, I have no idea what half the thigns you said.

    Now I know, if and when I visit Scotland, especially Glasgow, I'm going to have to remember a few things:

    1. Travel with a firend

    2. Don't try too hard to understand what the heck you guys are saying cause I just won't understand.

    3. Avoid Bridgeton or don't tell anyone I'm Catholic.

    Eh I can swing that. Btw, I think purple and silver are a smashing idea for a tartan. Add in dark red and you got my vote :)
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