Saga The Jedi that Could Have Been- AU, an Obi/Qui fic Chapter 2 UP!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Stella_Ripple, Oct 26, 2005.

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  1. Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    A HUGE thank you to my lovely Master Jennifer_Lyn for her patience in making this post worthy and cheering me up when I thought it wouldn't be! [:D]
    And cookies to obi_webb for being such an enthusiastic prodder and a great friend! :D

    Title: The Jedi that Could have Been
    Author: Stella Ripple
    Timeframe: AU Obi is 27
    Genre: Mush?
    Summary: What if Obi hadn't been given to the Jedi? What would he have become
    Notes: This was originally started for the current Obi Challenge (what would Obi have been if not a Jedi) but it kept growing till it became a short story all by itself! I was thinking this'll be be a two poster, but it seems to have expanded and now, I'm looking at a short story in its own right-probably a four/five parter!
    Disclaimer: All characters belong to Uncle George- I only amuse myself with them!
    The Jedi that Could Have Been

    Delta spared a brief glance in her partner?s direction before returning to the mounting pile of files on their shared desk. The young man opposite her sat hunched over his own files, pen gripped tightly in his fist and eyes fixed determinedly on the page in front of him; the page that hadn?t been moved for the last twenty minutes.

    Finally, at the end of her patience with the stony silence that lingered between them, she snapped. ?Alright, out with it! What happened this time?? Seeing that her co-worker?s lips had opened in protest, as they did every time, she carried on. Determination shown on her face; this time she would not get drawn into his routine denial.

    ?Come on Obi-Wan. Don?t even start! You don?t get a call that makes a clam out of the most annoyingly chipper guy in the office and then expect me not to be curious! Now, for the last time, tell me. What. Happened?? She ground out.

    ?McDougall wants to see me,? Came the subdued reply.

    That halted her building frustrations effectively in its tracks. Immediately, her brows softened, ?Oh Ben.? She sighed, ?Again? This is the fifth time??

    ?I know!? Obi-Wan burst out, leaping to his feet, then catching the startled look on her face, he dropped back down to his seat just as quickly.

    ?I know,? he continued in a softer tone, ? I know it?s the fifth time this month,? he ran a distracted hand through his hair before continuing in an even quieter voice, ? and I?m afraid it?s the last time.?

    Deadlines could wait, this situation needed her immediate attention. Pushing aside the files surrounding her, in a flash, she moved around the desk and crouched down in front of him.

    ?Obi-Wan? Ben, look at me.? She persisted until she was sure she had his eyes focused on her. ?Listen to me and don?t interrupt. You. Are. Great. At. Your. Job.? she quirked an eyebrow at the slight jerk that had met her words. ?Hey, can the protests, remember?? she continued her lecture. ?Ben, you know that a social worker is inevitably tied by the Senate?s laws. As much as we wanna put the welfare of the people before anything else, that damned red tape always comes first!?

    With a jerk she got up and started to pace the length of the their tiny cubicle, ?Ever since I got here, that?s the way it?s always been. Want to feed the orphans? Get the Senate?s say so, but I?m afraid that won?t be possible until next month, we?re all just so busy with the banquets right now. Pay the elderly their pensions, but don?t forget to check the Chancellor?s bank account first. Gods forbid we break into the budget for next week?s cocktail party!?

    Years of pent up aggravation finally found a vent in the bitter sarcasm that dripped from her words. Then, abruptly twisting around, she pierced him with her frank gaze.

    ?And it continued that way ?til you came along, kid. ?Til someone finally stopped worrying about the rulebook and started working for the people. And, Ben, just so you know, before you go on blaming yourself for whatever it is them bureaucrats are trying to pin on you this time, tha
  2. Fat_Bird Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2005
    star 2
    I like it so far.

    But one question. Is Obi-Wan 37 or a youth?
  3. obi_webb Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    oh my gosh stella, i certainly don't think anyone here will want to throw you out a window! especially if you continue writing as wonderful stories as this one! :D
    obi as a social worker is a great idea! if he was not a jedi i could certainly see him going to that occupation! he has always been the helpful sort, hasn't he? and this job lets him help all the people that really need it!
    you could not have picked a better opening then you did! having it seem like obi was going to get chewed out by the boss, and then having Delta give him that great speech to make him feel better! (very smart way to let us know the kind of social worker obi is by letting us know what his fellow co-workers think of him)
    and it only got better! instead of the chewing from the boss that we expected, you wrote the boss mcdougall as someone who was just as charmed as obi as everyone else was! he just was trying to keep obi in check a bit! good job in making him more then the stereotypical boss character that is just there to make life difficult for the main character
    i didn't expect to see qui gon in this! nice touch. you write him very well and i am curious to see how things go between him and obi.
    please pm me when you update this stella!
    oh, and thanks for the cookies! :D knowing you, i bet they're chocolate chip huh? my favorite!=P~
  4. Jennifer_Lyn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    Young lady, step away from that window!

    You did a marvelous job, young one! I'm so proud! [:D]
    I love Delta, she's so fiery! And McDougall's a cool character, too.

    Ah, love this, truly. [:D]
  5. Kynstar Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Ohhhh this is totally awesome! [face_dancing] Sweet! Obi outside of the Jedi world. Cooooool!

    Poor kid :( one has to feel for him. And Obi and Qui couldn't do anything for him :( well maybe juz being there helped.

    Can't wait for more!!
  6. Jaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2005
    star 4
    It makes perfect sense that Obi-Wan would be a social worker if her weren't a Jedi. Good job.
  7. Silfion Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Yay! I like it very much. It's so nice to see Obi-Wan as a social worker instead a Jedi. Very original. And good to see that you didn't make him OC so far.

    So... when are we going to see more? :D

    *ties SR in front of the computer* More? :p
  8. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    This was beautiful! Absolutely lovely! Vadey beams proudly! What a wonderful grand-Padawan my former Padawan has! =D=
  9. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Oh, I like it and look forward to many more chapters. =D=
  10. Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    Hey Sis, great job =D=
    I can't wait to read more! Obi is so sweet [face_love]
    I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next...
  11. Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Very intriguing start. I'm looking forward to seeing what ideas Qui-Gon has in mind to invite Obi-Wan for a drink.
  12. hyperspace_police Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 22, 2005
    star 4
    I?d say you were his only hope. Please. Help him
    Gee, Obi gets that whole only hope thing a lot, even when he's not a Jedi.:eek:
    Like this story:)
    Great start.=D=
    Keep up the good work[face_dancing]
    and for goodness sake, step away from that window.[face_worried]
  13. Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    Wow! Thanks a lot for reviewing everyone! After hearing about how quickly The Saga forums move, I hadn't expected so many people to respond so quickly :D You guys are the best [:D]

    Fat_Bird Glad you're liking it! Do you know, I spent ages trying to get rid of those youth mentions, but I guess those pesky adjectives escaped me! Gah! If you'd like to PM me where it says youth, (you don't have to!) that'd be beyond helpful! :D
    Obi_webb *beams* You know how much I love your nice, detailed review! I'm so glad you picked up on all the bits I wanted picked up!
    J_L Thanks Master! You know it wouldn't be up without you [:D]
    Kynstar Yay! You liked! You'll see more of Jehan and a new side of Obi in the next post ;)
    Jaira Thank you! I'm glad you think so!
    Silfion I'm glad you can see him as a social worker, I was slightly afraid people might think it OOC!
    Gramaster Vader Thank you!! Coming from you, that means sooo much!
    Valairy_Scot Thank you for reading! And the next post will be out...when it'll be out :p
    Kes Glad you liked it! Hope the next one doesn't disappoint!
    Healer Leona Thank you! I think you'll like the next chapter...lotsa Qui Gon ;)
    hyperspace_police Yeah, I had a little fun witht the only hope thing :) Glad you liked the beginning, hope the next chapters suit too! And thanks for getting me away from that window- I'm afraid of heights ;)

    Again- A BIG Thank you to everyone for reading this!
  14. Fat_Bird Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2005
    star 2
    There's only one that I see:

    He spared an indulgent smile at the obvious relief crossing Kenobi?s face. Annoying as Ben?s habitual escapades were, the Chief had a soft spot for the youth. Indeed, there was hardly anyone in the office who could resist his charm, and McDougall was no exception, though he maintained a stern façade for the sake of discipline. He was quite convinced that without his vigilant restraint, the office wouldn?t last two standard days under Kenobi?s reforming hands. The staff, reliable as they were, could not be depended on, for they would all follow Kenobi in painting Coruscant pink if he but asked them to. No, the only thing that was standing between disaster, in the form of Kenobi?s envisioned Mission Centre, and the orderly institution that they ran now was him - Eddie J McDougall.
  15. kenobiwanobi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2005
    star 3
    You have done an amazing job- I always enjoy your work and I honestly think no one wants to throw you out a window and if they do they answer to me.

    Great job=D=
    -May the force be with you-[face_peace]
  16. PadawanKitara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Step away from that window and back to the keyboard. You have a great story to finish!
  17. kateydidnt Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2004
    star 4
    Great beginning! I look forward to more.

    I was assuming that this story has Obi-Wan as about 25ish, meaning it is around the time frame of TPM. I can't imagine Qui-Gon being close friends with Chancellor Palpatine but it is certainly possible he would be friends with Chancellor Valorum. (I know there are a number of fanfics indicating a friendship, I just don't know if there is any canon evidence--did Valorum specifically choose Qui-Gon to be the Jedi in TPM to go to Naboo?)
    So who is the Chancellor now and where are the sith if Obi-Wan is 37. And where is Anakin?
    Anyway, really great start!
  18. StarryAngel Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2005
    Very interesting AU story! I like it!

    OBi-Wan would be good at helping people, I think.
  19. Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    IMPORTANT NOTE: Thanks to some very insighful comments by kateydidnt, and some musings of my own, I've decided that timeframe will be shifted back 10 years ie Obi will be 27.
    This does not, I think, affect the post so far but has more affect on the following posts- hopefully for the better- but I just wanted my readers to have some warning so no one gets too confused.

    Fat Bird Thanks a lot for going through that for me. But the good news is I can keep my 'youthful menions' now! :D

    kenobiwanobi Thank you so much for your support! [:D]

    PadawanKitara Will do *salutes* and don't worry despite sporadic posting, this WILL be finished

    Kateydidnt Thank you sooo much for bringing up such brain-prodding questions [:D] Now that the timeframe thing is sorted, I think you'll find most of your answers in future posts *buttons lip*

    StarryAngel I'm glad you're enjoying this! Especially since you like my obi! [face_love]

    Big thank you to everyone who reviewed, and just to let you know the ETA for the next post is early next week hopefully on Monday *crosses fingers*
  20. Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    Interesting story! I like your Obi-Wan, he'd make a good social worker if he weren't a Jedi, I'm sure. Poor Jehan, what's he gone through to make him close up so completely? I wonder what Qui-Gon keeps feeling...maybe a connection through the Force, if Obi-Wan is Force sensitive? [face_thinking]

    Anyway, can't wait to see where this goes! If you send pms, please add me to your list? :)
  21. Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    JediTigris Thank you! I'd be happy to!

    Okay, so slightly late, but here it is...the next chapter, if any of my readers are still with me!
    Huge thanks go to Auntie Z for betaing this for me!! [:D]

    Part Two

    Previously: ?Would you care to join me for a drink in my quarters before you leave, Agent Kenobi??

    Startled by the unexpected request, Obi-Wan hardly realised what he was agreeing to until he found himself outside the Knight?s apartments and the Jedi was ushering him in.

    Entering the darkened quarters hesitantly, he waited for his host to join him. Behind him he could hear Qui-Gon fumbling with the light panel before hitting a switch. When nothing happened, he turned towards the Jedi just in time to catch a softly uttered Alderaanian oath escaping him.

    In spite of himself, Obi-Wan was unable to stop the smile that sprang to his lips upon hearing such colourful language from a Jedi. He was grateful for the darkness that hid it, as the now irate Master approached him.

    ?Forgive me. I?d forgotten?my apprentice, he?s away on a sabbatical right now, had an, ah, mishap, if you will, with the wiring yesterday and I?m afraid I haven?t gotten around to fixing the lighting??

    ?Master Jedi, please. It?s fine. It?s a wonderful evening, I?m sure it?ll be very pleasant out on the balcony.? Obi-Wan held up his hand to forestall any more apologies.

    Qui-Gon?s brow cleared at the suggestion and he led his guest out to the little balcony, inwardly admiring Ben?s skilful and polite handling of the situation; the most practised negotiator amongst the Jedi couldn?t have done better.

    ?Please, make yourself comfortable.? He called out before disappearing into the kitchen area.

    For a moment Obi-Wan simply stood there, drinking in the quiet beauty of the roof top garden. It appeared the Jedi, or his apprentice, had quite the green thumb. Small delicate ferns framed the doorway, whilst radiant young roses bloomed in a corner and the sweet smell of jasmine pervaded the night. It seemed the garden had as much variety as its Master did.

    Cautiously, he made his way to the edge, afraid any movement might steal away the peace of the little garden. Leaning gently on the railing, he felt the gentle evening breeze revive him. It wasn?t until he relaxed into a slouch that he realised how tense he?d been and how tightly knotted the muscles on the back of his neck had become. It had been a stressful day.

    It wasn?t long before another pair of footsteps followed his and another shoulder joined his on the balcony. With it brought the welcome smell of freshly brewed cocoa. The smell alone was enough to undo him, but the first sip brought such comfort that his eyes closed in satisfaction, just for a second, before they snapped up in an unspoken question.

    Qui-Gon saw it and merely shrugged in response. He had just followed a hunch. Neither he nor his padawan cared for the stuff, but something had told him this new?associate ? would appreciate it. It appeared his dedication to following one?s feelings over logic had once again led him in the right direction.

    For a while the two stood silently together, watching the last of the light die out on the horizon; yet it wasn?t the awkward silence of the morning, in the speeder. It was the more familiar silence of two people who weren?t obliged to speak for the sake of speaking, but who were comfortable enough with each other for the silence to speak for them. It was as if the strange recognition that each had felt all day, and been unable to argue away, had somehow forged an unspoken link between them.

    ?Have you ever seen anything like it??

    Thanks to their unacknowledged connection, this remark of Obi Wan?s didn?t throw him despite its lack of context. Qui-Gon knew exactly what was being alluded to, and didn?t hesitate to answer.

    ?Yes.? he said simply and let the comment rest there.

    He had expected Obi-Wan to question him further, b
  22. Zonoma Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 28, 2005
    star 5
    Oh Stella! This was a wonderful portrayal of Qui and Obi and what might have been. I love the back story you have given Obi and esp that Qui is a gardener. I can totally see that. I could practically smell the balcony garden, roses and jasmine mixing in with the aroma of hot chocolate. Delicious and enticing.
  23. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Yes! Great continuation. I can't wait for more. [face_praying]
  24. Kynstar Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Poor Obi... finding out that the Jedi didn't want his sister any longer :( how sad is that? Shot that kid's faith and ideals down the drain.

    Great update! Poor Jehan...they were gonna send him to a mental institute? :(

  25. Jaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2005
    star 4
    The Jedi are mean in this story!! I loved the chapter, though!!
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