Before The Jinn and Kenobi Chronicles - a series of vignettes - Confession, Qui's POV on Recovery

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Apr 4, 2004.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    The Jinn and Kenobi Chronicles a series of vignettes


    Title: A Jedi's Redemption
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan
    Genre: angst
    Era: pre TPM
    Author: VaderLVR64


    A Jedi?s Redemption


    I sense his potential for greatness. I can see his power shimmering within him, a beacon of light that beckons me. I?m ignoring that incandescence for now; I don?t want to even acknowledge its existence. I don?t want another Padawan; I made that decision long ago. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that flash of light hailing me yet again. And again I turn my face away, refusing to bow to its call.

    But I find myself searching for that familiar hopeful face among the initiates. Obviously I wish to torture myself or I would leave the Temple for now. Until he is gone to a more humble fate or safely chosen by another. I feel the Force giving me a nudge in his direction, but I simply push back and trudge on my solitary way. I prefer to be alone, it is safer that way.

    I know the boy?s faults, of course. He?s impetuous and willful to start. Yet who am I to condemn the boy for those traits I share in such measure myself? I can understand these traits; I can even admit that such traits may prove helpful in some situations. The Living Force leads and we must follow; one doesn?t always have time to consult a committee or file a request. But I don?t want to follow where the Force leads me now, because it leads me to a bright-eyed boy with ginger hair and an expectant smile.

    He hopes I will choose him as my apprentice, his dream is written all over his face. He fears I will not do so and he will be shipped off to Agri-Corps; his dread is apparent in the dejected set of his shoulders. I want to fulfill his hopes and dreams, but I cannot bring myself to do it. Always when I look into his stormy blue eyes I see the phantom of the one who came before; the one who broke my heart and ripped apart my soul.

    Xanatos. Even the memory of his name is enough to cause a chill to run over my skin. I was so sure that he should become a Jedi that I did not heed that cautionary voice that whispered in my ear. I plucked the boy from his father and his planet and whisked him away to the Temple to become a Jedi, and by doing so I damned both of us. Impetuosity and willfulness, the twins of our destruction. It is the fear of repeating this mistake that stays my decision now, fear and the reluctance to risk what is left of my heart. Better the boy become a farmer than what Xanatos became, far better.

    And yet the boy still draws me with his shining presence in the Force. He glows! I hear the Living Force goading me once again; telling me to take the boy as my Padawan and find absolution through him. But do I have the right to risk his soul to save my own? If I take that small hand in my own and train him in the way he should go, shall we both find redemption and the fulfillment of our dreams? Or would we fall together, damned by my own arrogance and inabilities? The risk is so great it steals away my breath. But the reward?the reward if we can save each other!

    I find myself observing him yet again. He is aware of my scrutiny, although he will not turn and meet my eyes. I can see that he has given up hope and is certain his fate is sealed. The battle rages on within me, still undecided. Once I allowed my thoughtlessness to claim a soul for the Jedi who should have been left unclaimed. I will not make that mistake again. The consequences are too horrific, too tragic. I ignored the warning I felt about Xanatos and wrought a catastrophe. What will happen if I ignore the direction the Force leads me to and leave the boy to his farmer?s fate? Will I determine my own damnation by walking away from his light?

    I look at him, Initiate Kenobi, and long to clap him on the shoulder and tell him I would be honored to claim him as my Padawan. I want to see those stormy eyes light up with hope again and those slim shoulders straighten with pride. I do not know if I am strong enough to go to him, to make that ultimate c
  2. VaderHomeBoy Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2004
    I liked this one. I like Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan so this one is good.
  3. Jedikma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    Another nicely written piece. I like this view of Qui-Gon.

    The one thing that always puzzled me about Qui-Gon was that he was so reluctant about taking Obi-Wan but was so anxious to take on Anakin, who clearly had issues to deal with because of his background.
  4. VadersMistress Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2004
    star 6
    I like this one, I've always like Qui-Gon anyway. Good job.
  5. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Wonderful job of looking at Jinn's possible thoughts in the beginning. :)
  6. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Hey this was great! Love your view of Qui-Gon! Exquisite work!! :D Ya should do more when ya get a chance on our handsome, loveable, sweet..*ahem* Jedi Master...yeah! ;) hehehe
  7. Indra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2003
    star 3
    I like it. I've always wondered how Qui-Gon had felt when he refused to take Obi-Wan as his Padawan. And I can imagine that it was exactly this. Well done. :)
  8. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    You've captured Qui-Gon so well here. Your writing is spectacular! ;)
  9. The_Hutt Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2004
    star 1
    Oooh, an Obi-Qui vignette! The start is interesting, and I like the first-person perspective from Qui-Gon. Behind that Stoic face a torment of emotions rage. Awsome, and keep going!
  10. masterobiwankenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2003
    star 1
    I liked that. I liked the conflict of if he takes obi he's afraid that he'll turn out like xani, but if he doesn't that it might make things worse. :)

    Peggy
  11. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    This seemed to go with "A Jedi's Redemption" so I put it here. That was the beginning of the Master/Padawan relationship between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. This one takes place near the end...



    If Fate is Kind

    Qui-Gon stole a look at his apprentice, once again marveling at how far the young man had come. Obi-Wan had always had immense potential, but like everyone else he had encountered obstacles along the way that occasionally made him stray from his path. But now, as the tall Jedi Master looked at him, he could tell that those days were long gone. Obi-Wan had faced his demons of doubt and fear and was now ready to grasp his destiny. He gave a silent sigh; he would miss the bright-eyed young man who had been his constant companion for so many years.

    Qui-Gon smiled to himself, remembering how hesitant he had been to take Obi-Wan as his Padawan. Now he could admit that reluctance had stemmed from his own fears. Fear that he would fail Obi-Wan and the fear that Obi-Wan would fail him. Fail him as Xanatos had done and fall into the Darkness. The Darkness tempted every Jedi, whether they realized it or not, Qui-Gon had realized that fact long ago. He knew Obi-Wan would face that test one day, and he knew this young man would not fail the test. He would stand firmly on the side of the Light. And to the noble warrior who had trained him that was the best legacy he could leave behind.

    Obi-Wan had already made a choice to serve when he returned to the Jedi order. Most of the Jedi never even acknowledged that there was a choice. But Obi-Wan had made the choice to leave and made the decision to come back to the fold. It had hurt him deeply when Obi-Wan left, and it took many long months for the master and apprentice to heal the wounds. But they had done it, they had survived the crisis. Somehow, it made his dedication to the Jedi more genuine, in Qui-Gon?s eyes at least. And now Qui-Gon looked at a young man who was perched at the brink of becoming a knight on his own. A man ready to follow the solitary path that is the Jedi?s lot.

    Qui-Gon was proud of the man his apprentice had become. Obi-Wan was everything that a Jedi was supposed to be, but he was so much more in Qui-Gon?s eyes. Obi-Wan was the son he would never have, could never have as a Jedi. He was the shining light in his soul. He knew the Jedi view on attachment, but in his heart he could not deny the bond with the man who stood so attentively beside him. Love, in his eyes, did not weaken but strengthen. And he did love Obi-Wan, as only a father could do.

    He knew that soon he would have to tell Obi-Wan and the council that he was ready for his trials. But the selfish part of him wanted to hold on for just a little while longer. Just to season the boy, he told himself, knowing he lied but unable to help it. Obi-Wan was ready to face the galaxy on his own, and he would do well as a Jedi. He expected great things of the lean young warrior next to him.

    Perhaps one day he would take a Padawan of his own, and Qui-Gon would gain another little soul to love and care for if Fate was kind. He looked forward to growing old in the Temple?s wall and seeing those familiar blue eyes peek around his door, Obi-Wan having come to visit. And then he would bring his own Padawan and Qui-Gon would insist on embarrassing the earnest young knight by telling stories of his misspent youth. Obi-Wan would laugh and protest he hadn?t been all that bad and his young Padawan would look up at his master with devoted affection. And the three generations of Jedi would laugh together and find comfort in the presence of the others. Qui-Gon could picture it all clearly and it brought contented warmth to his heart.

    Qui-Gon sighed as he acknowledged he was beginning to feel the weight of his years. A Jedi?s life was not an easy one and he had experienced many sad and wonderful things during his years in the galaxy. In a few years he would retire and enjoy the more leisurely life he had once despised. He smiled as he recalled a young Qui-Gon looking w
  12. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    *Sniff!* And he doesn't get to tell him either... well sorta when he asks for Anakin to be his Padawan.

    Great feelings there in your writing! Good job on Qui-Gon's view of things! :D
  13. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Oh, that was beautiful. How many of us wait and wait and wait to tell someone we love them, always believing we have tomorrow? This one was so sad.

    You know, I'd really, really love to see your take on Qui's death, if you're looking for something to write. :D I bet you'd do an amazing job with that.

    Great job.

    Shaindl
  14. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I've always thought that Obi-Wan had to have felt a little abandoned by Qui-Gon's quick offer to train Anakin. It seemed to me that while Qui-Gon was probably already thinking that Obi-Wan was ready Obi-Wan might have seen his remark as a spontaneous declaration to clear the way to train Anakin. And that resentment may have planted a seed that had disastrous consequences. I'm not sure, but its a possibility.

    VaderHomeBoy glad you liked it. If you want to write, write and write some more...

    jedikma I think Qui-Gon's experience with Obi-Wan softed him up and made him think that all apprentices would be as easy to handle. Of course Obi isn't perfect, but he's pretty darn close!

    obi_ew I find Qui-Gon a fascinating character, and it has nothing to do with that scene in Rob Roy...I promise...maybe

    Kynstar lately Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have been speaking to me and wanting to be put on paper, so we'll see what happens. Glad you liked it!

    Indra I guess having a Padawan turn would make you reluctant to take on a new one.

    tangled_sphere thank you! I liked writing this one.

    Qui-Gon glad you liked it. I plan on doing more Qui-Gon and young Obi-Wan.

    masterobiwankenobi glad you enjoyed it. I imagine he was VERY conflicted. Which way led ti disaster? Very hard to figure out...

    Shaindl very good reason not to wait to do that stuff, huh? Poor Qui-Gon, he really meant well and then it all got tangled up with that Skywalker kid (whom I love by the way, but still...)
  15. Indra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2003
    star 3
    This is so sad considering what will follow. It's exactly the problem most people have, not telling people they care about just how much they mean to them until it's too late. You captured this beautifully. :)
  16. Laine_Snowtrekker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2003
    star 5
    Wow, these were just stunning viggies. I love how you write, VaderLVR64!
  17. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
  18. Opal Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2003
    star 4
    I agree. These are a couple of great viggnettes. You do Qui-Gon very well. I'd love to see you do something with the two of them interacting.
  19. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Opal you gave me little plot bunny and here it is...all your fault!



    Do You Ever Wonder?

    Qui-Gon looked up as his Padawan approached. The master was sitting on a rocky cliff, watching the sea crash upon the rocks below and taking solace in that timeless rhythm. Obi-Wan gave him an inquisitive look, asking without words if his master preferred to be alone. Qui-Gon patted the ground beside him in answer and turned back to contemplate the waves once more.

    Obi-Wan slid gracefully to the ground, tucking his booted feet beneath his knees and embracing his legs with his arms. Lately Qui-Gon had seen that lean young body showing signs of maturity and knew that soon all the lankiness of youth would be covered with well-toned muscles. The breeze blew his Padawan braid toward his back and for just a fleeting moment he had a picture of Obi-Wan as a knight, his braid shorn in that ancient ceremony. But then the wind shifted again and his Padawan was back.

    ?Master, do you ever wonder what you would have been if you weren?t a Jedi?? Obi-Wan?s voice was soft and reflective, the sounds of the waves obviously soothing him as they did his master.

    ?Yes I have, my young Padawan, many times in fact,? Qui-Gon?s voice was just as quiet but laughter lurked beneath those deep tones.

    Obi-Wan?s blue eyes remained focused on the ocean below, watching the white-capped waves as they flowed in with a roar and then flowed out again with a whisper. ?Well, what you have done, master?? A tiny note of impatience now marred the cultured tones, as Qui-Gon had expected. He still liked to provoke his serious young Padawan; it was one of the small joys in his life.

    Qui-Gon took his time answering, he closed his eyes and let the sound of the waves envelope him as he contemplated Obi-Wan?s question. Finally, just as he sensed Obi-Wan?s impatience beginning to grow he answered. ?I?d be a farmer I guess, a farmer on a gentle planet like Alderaan or Naboo. I would live in a tiny village and I would marry a pretty girl and we would have lots of children. Boys who would grow big and strong and help me in the fields before they married and had families of their own. My daughters would be as pretty as their mother and I would be kept busy chasing away the village idiots who thought they were good enough for them.? Qui-Gon paused and when he spoke again his voice sounded wistful. ?But my wife would be the boss; she would rule the household and have me twisted around her finger. She would look up at me and point her finger at me when I did something she didn?t like and she would scold me.? He shook his head, banishing that happy vision.

    Obi-Wan finally turned away from contemplating the loud waters below them. ?Do you wish you had that life, master??

    Qui-Gon shook his head firmly. ?No, I?ve become a farmer of sorts anyway.? He laughed at Obi-Wan?s confused look. ?I grow baby Jedi, don?t I??

    Obi-Wan laughed and nodded his agreement. He lowered himself to the ground, and simply lay there looking up into the blue sky with its fluffy white clouds. Far away he could hear the gentle songs of birds singing. He raised himself up on one elbow and faced his master.

    ?Baby Jedi, huh? I suppose I was a particularly hard crop to grow?? He asked with a laugh.

    ?No, you were perfect my young apprentice. You, like all growing things, required love and attention. Of course lots of water and food, lots and lots of food in your case, were essential, too. I think most of that food was necessary for those outsized appendages you call feet.?

    Obi-Wan looked at his feet, an injured look on his face. ?I grew into them, master, truly I did! Ages ago!?

    ?Please, if you had grown into them you?d rival me for height and that will never happen, my young apprentice,? Qui-Gon replied.

    ?They?re not overly big,? the young man mumbled stubbornly.

    ?Yes, they are, but you needed them when you were younger so you wouldn?t fall over. That big head, you know, terrible for the balance.? Qui-Gon informed him in solemn, confi
  20. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Awww...that was sweet!

    But how the hell do you turn these out so fast? :p

    Great job!

    Shaindl
  21. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    That my friend, was the best yet! Well touchy/feely heartwise! ;) GREAT work!!! Loved the little humor clash there! *snrk* Though my fav line is:

    ?Yes, my young apprentice?? Qui-Gon?s voice was infinitely patient.

    ?I think you?re a good farmer,? Obi-Wan said quietly.


    Awsome, totally!
  22. Opal Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2003
    star 4
    All I asked for was a post with the two of them interacting. :D You delivered, and fast, too. How did you do that so quick?

    I loved it. I could really visualize this one, waves and all. The two of them playfully teasing one another was fun, too.


    So let's see, you've done Ani, Padme, obi, Qui, Luke, Han , and even Tarkin. Can we con you into doing Xani? :p
  23. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    That was lovely and very sweet. I liked that the two of them were teasing each other. Good job and keep it up!
  24. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    That was wonderful mush. Growing baby Jedi. :) I second Opal's suggestion, but then we already discussed that, didn't we? ;)
  25. The_Hutt Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2004
    star 1
    I really loved "If Fate is Kind." It was a peaceful story for the most part, but it had so many undertones of heart-wrenching sadness in it. Qui-Gon's sad knowledge that he would soon have to give up Obi-Wan to adulthood and knighthood. Even though the part where Qui was contemplating a happy future with Obi-Wan and future padawans, it broke my heart becuase it would never happen. And Qui would never get to tell Obi how important he is to him. They would never be able to come back together. aw... *VaderLVR64 rips The_Hutt's heart out and throws it on the wall, where it oozes down into a trash bin "You won't be needing this!"*
    Oh man, "Do You Ever Wonder" is one of my all time fave vignettes. I love the peaceful loving atmosphere, the quiet companionship, and the humor! Qui-Gon is the master of mock!

    "Obi-Wan snorted a note of inelegant amusement. ?All right, I won?t say a word about that nose then.?
    Qui-Gon raised his large hands to his maligned nose. ?Now that?s just not right. I need this nose to sniff out any food you may have left in the place!?"

    Oh man, that part cracked me up. I love their banter. I like Qui-Gon's detailed imaginations of a life that never was, but at the same time he doesn't regret the life he was given either. He enjoys his life because of Obi-Wan.

    "?Master?? he whispered.
    ?Yes, my young apprentice?? Qui-Gon?s voice was infinitely patient.
    ?I think you?re a good farmer,? Obi-Wan said quietly."

    Oh, that part was too sweet! I got a little teary there...what a great couple of posts, can't wait for the next one!

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.