Beyond - Legends The Journal of A Very Married Talon Tantiss [DDC 2014] 2014 Journal Is Complete!

ROFL!!
Those were sooo much fun! I loved the name sugestions and I must say, that Droid seems to look a lot like a cylon.

Oh, cool! A BSG/SW crossover.

Poor Talon. He's afflicted with droids, a vornskr, and a ship that is now a Princess (I'm sure Jaden will love that.) The indignities never end. At least he doesn't have to wield the pooper-scooper. Somehow, I think they will all survive.

I guess they have to start worrying if the droid starts saying, "By your command." (That's what Cylones said in the 70's series, I don't know if they did that in the new series…all I know is Starbuck had a sex change).

I don't know why he thought the ladies wouldn't bring their pet on board. Of course Zylie waits until after the wedding before bringing up the possibility.

In my NaNo stories that I am working on Talon and Princess come to an understanding.

I actually looked up this system that is used for dogs here in the USA.

Thanks. I don't know why Vazy Princess popped into my head, but I think it is a good name.

Usually his dad, Mark, is the one who smacks him on the head, but Zylie might take over those duties.

In this story I have Ben as the very disciplined and grounded person. Talon is a little more wild. But Valla is more grounded than her sister. Zylie is more hot headed.

Thanks everybody for reading. I need to think of something else to write.

Sounds very good so far. I liked the recap
And the subsequent posts, I have a feeling this is going to be so much fun!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks! I have been trying to think up some interesting adventures for the group to do. Maybe they will be like the Scooby Do gang and fly around the galaxy solving mysteries. lol!

Thanks @Nyota's Heart, @Hazel, @Kahara, @earlybird-obi-wan, @Revanfan1, @Falcon and @Briannakin for reading and taking the time to review!

~JL~

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Entry 4

Ben and I officially moved out of the bachelor quarters at the Temple. Luckily neither of us had a lot of personal items and our gear fit nicely in the ship’s cabins. The ladies were another story.

Exactly how many shoes does a woman need? Apparently something upwards of twenty when it comes to Zylie. Then there are dresses, tunics, trousers, frilly undergarments, waistcoats, three-fourth length coats and long coats. I am looking into my cabin’s closet and I have about one-tenth of the closet area. My Jedi robes and civilian clothing are crammed tightly against Zylie’s huge wardrobe. I am thinking Ben and I may have to take some of the storage space from the cargo room and make a giant walk-in closet for the ladies…or for us guys. At least the two staterooms are fairly large, each with a double bed, dresser and desk with a computer and HoloNet terminal.

We are preparing to go on a shipping run for Karrde’s organization. This meant we had to make sure we had all our supplies, maintenance tools and spare parts for our StealthX fighters and our astromech droids (damn I forgot about those guys. I will be living with FOUR droids).

I went to the pet store and bought huge bags of carnivore chow for Princess. I am hoping two fifty-kilo bags will be enough. I am not looking forward to seeing how much poodoo a hundred kilos of food will generate. Luckily picking up vornskr crap is not in my job description.

Ben and I met with the Grand Master who briefed us on our responsibilities as “roving Jedi”. We had to be self-sufficient when it came to maintenance and on-call at all times to react to Jedi missions in the areas where we were travelling. It looks like I will help Ben in any Jedi Sentinel missions and he will be back me up on Jedi Guardian operations.

Entry 5

Well, we are off on our first shipping run. Valla and the pilot droid ID10T powered up the large freighter and lifted off smoothly. Zylie and Valla have both piloted their father’s ship ‘Wild Karrde’ before, so this is not much different. Eventually Ben and I will have to become accustomed to the controls. We are pilots, but our experience is mostly confined to small fighters. I don’t think I’d have a problem flying this colossal ship, but docking it is another matter. I would imagine parallel parking a hover train would be easier that putting this ship into a small docking space. Fortunately the pilot droid would probably prevent me from crashing into anything.

While in flight we developed a schedule for food prep and cleaning. We would rotate as to who cooks the meals, cleans and does the laundry. I am sure everything will work out fine.

Entry 6

I just discovered that the only thing Zylie knows how to cook is ‘burnt’. Burnt steak, burnt cookies, and burnt flat cakes. The only food she hasn’t burnt is the cereal, but I am sure if she could find a way to scorch a cold meal, she would. It turns out that her mother did almost all the cooking for the Wild Karrde crew.

Entry 7

Ben must have learned all of his culinary skills from his mother. When he had cooking duty we were given heated up ration bars and instant meals.

Entry 8

Valla somehow burnt my cereal.

Entry 9

Surprise, surprise, the son of a world famous chef knows how to cook. My mother would show me how to make all types of great dishes when I was a boy. Therefore I got the chance to show off my culinary skills. For breakfast we had gartro egg omelets with Tatooine crepes. For lunch we feasted on Mongo Beefhead patty sliders with a triple cheese topping. Dinner consisted of Creamed Rishi corned soup and Shawda Clubb sandwiches. For dessert I made up some Warra nut cookies.

Entry 10

Ben, Zylie and Valla took a vote and decided I should be the ship’s head cook. I told them that unless they wanted vornskr burgers on the menu they should rethink that vote.

Entry 11

There was a second vote and it was decided that a food synthesizer should be purchased for the ship as soon as possible. Until then I guess I’ll be cooking…otherwise I think I’ll starve.

Valla somehow burnt my cereal.

I laughed. Hard.

They're probably all disgusted with him because he's the only one not kriffin up everything lol

Burnt cereal, that takes a special kind of talent! I like that Talon ends up as the only one who can cook out of the whole ship. His mom taught him well. I know what they need. Cooking boot camp! He can combine two of his great loves. On the other hand, we're starting with burnt cereal. Forcing these ladies and gentlemen to cook might lead to the next big crisis. Abeloth versus... the Oatmeal Blob!

On the wardrobe size(s) between the guys and gals Woot! Tickled me that Talon was the only one who could cook decently. Burnt cereal ... that takes a special kind of talent indeed.

burnt cereals and his comments on the lady wardrobe. His observations are hilarious

Thanks. I am not sure how that would be done, but she obviously did it.

Usually Talon is the one royally messing up, but he can cook.

He gets it from his mother. Some things are bound to rub off.

I have the opposite problem. My husband is a clothes horse. I think it is because he is pretty much the same weight as he was twenty years ago…so he just keeps everything.

I would think having to adjust to being married and living in close proximity with another newlywed couple would be very difficult. I think this is going to be a major adjustment for Talon.

I got a hankering for some sexy cover art. Here is Talon taking off his Jedi robes in front of Zylie.

Thank the Force someone knows how to cook in that ship.

Thanks! It is good that he learned something from his mother.

I don't know why I didn't comment on your post earlier. I must have missed it when doing my replies. I think that is a good idea. When they are on long boring flights they should have classes in cooking.

Thanks @Revanfan1, @EmeraldJediFire, @Briannakin, @earlybird-obi-wan, @Kahara, @Hazel and @Nyota's Heart for reading and taking the time to review. I really appreciate it.
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Entry 12

In the past week I realized living onboard a ship is a lot more difficult than expected. Although Ben and I roomed together for years without conflict and Zylie and I spent long blissful weekends together prior to our marriage…living with another couple is completely different. The main complication is Valla. Now don’t get me wrong. Valla is a wonderful woman. She is easy to get along with and I really like her. The problem is…she’s not my wife…so walking around in my underwear is now frowned upon. I could do it as a bachelor around my roommate or my girlfriend, but doing it around Valla is not an option.

It’s not that I always walk around semi-nude, but at night I sleep in my boxer-briefs. So now when I wander out of my cabin in the middle of the sleep cycle to use the ‘fresher I have to ensure I'm decent. Recently I've been pulling my Jedi cloak on when I go to the 'fresher. Zylie said when I do that I look like a perverted Jedi Flasher. That made me chuckle.

Cohabitating with women also takes some getting used to…because the most inoculous things appear to irritate them.

The number one irritant is me or Ben leaving the toilet seat up. Zylie told me I should put the toilet seat down after I use the ‘fresher or else it might cause her to fall into the toilet. I pointed out to her that men sit down on the toilet also and, as far as I know, no male has ever accidentally fallen into a toilet.

Well, she didn't appreciate the logic of that argument. Therefore, I promised to put the seat down after I use the latrine, but after forgetting to do this about a trillion times (according to her) I decided to leave the seat down permanantly. Which brought us to problem number two…my aim. Now she's telling me to make sure I put the seat up when I have to take a leak beause my aim isn’t perfect. I told her that she is more than welcome to help me zero my weapon. Ha! She was not amused...so I am back to lifting the seat and forgetting to put it down. And it is not just Zylie getting irritated with me. Valla is also vocal about this situation. I suggested that we have a second ‘fresher installed--one for the men and one for the ladies. That recommendation was shot down because supposedly it would be far too expensive.

Which brings me to problem number three--changing the roll of toilet paper. I obviously can’t figure out when this needs to be done. I probably don’t notice the empty role because I am concentrating so hard on not forgetting to put the toilet seat down. I guess Ben doesn’t have this problem because he lived with his parents for a really, really long time. He had his mother and sister Hanna nagging him into shape.

But Ben is not totally immune, which brings us to problem number four. More than once Zylie has walked out of the ‘fresher with a pair of tighty-whitey underwear held out at arms length and with a extreme look of disgust on her face. “Ben you left you underwear on the floor near the ‘fresher shower!” she would call out.

“How do you know it’s not Talon’s?” her sister would ask.

“Because Talon wears sexy red or blue boxer briefs or shape-lifting basket briefs!” She announced to the entire ship.

Stang! That’s a little too much information Zylie. Your sister doesn’t need to know the color and style of my undergarments. Oh well, at least Zylie didn’t mention that mesh tanga she bought me.

Everyday I find out something else I am doing wrong. I went into the small med center to get some headache medicine and the 2-1B med-droid requested to examine my ears. When I asked him why he said he overheard my wife saying I had, ‘selective hearing’. I reassured 2-1B that selective hearing is not an actual medical problem, but instead it's a timing problem…like the time Zylie wanted to talk about ...I don’t even remember the topic…but it was during the final two minutes of a shockball game that went into triple overtime.

I’m such a screw-up as a husband.

I'm really trying hard, but I wouldn't be surprised if Zylie divorced me before our honeymoon phase is over. I called up my dad for advice. He’s been happily married for decades. He told me he did all of the same annoying things and his marriage survived. He said he’s never heard of a woman divorcing her husband for not putting a toilet seat down. Women leave men because of infidelity, addictions, financial problems, trust issues or abuse. My dad advised me to treat her like I did when we were dating, court her, love her and be loyal and I’ll be alright.

My father makes it sound easy. Maybe it is that simple.

Be that as it may, I still think having two ‘freshers is a good idea.

LOL! This was a hilarious entry. Totally awesome and natural! My favorite part was him worrying about her divorcing him over the toilet seat...it's kind of pathetic and simultaneously hilarious. Also, I couldn't tell if "I'm such a screw-up as a husband" was sarcasm or not, but either way it was hilarious! Great work and keep it up.

I love the new parts

The hilarious problems with men and women. Your description is very funny and just as it is

Totally. My fave part was Zylie's broadcasting of Talon's style/color of underwear. I think Luke would look good and snazzy in that as well. Another absolute LOL moment was the exchange about 'aiming' right. !!

LOL!!! Married life is not easy.

It's starting to sink in that sharing living space with another couple is a whole 'nother level of potential embarrassment. Talon can't even keep his underwear style a secret.

I get the impression that the shared-bathroom dramas have taken on an importance that's way out of proportion because Talon is worried about other things, so it's good that he has his dad to talk to and put things into perspective. It's nice to see how he deals with a large group of living relatives; a bit more like modern life that way. It often seems like in science fiction and fantasy it's the sentence of doom to have kids. Not that parents have to be immortal or something (and the world that Star Wars takes place in is definitely pretty violent from time to time), but it's good to read something where occasionally all that futuristic medical technology pays off and people actually do live to annoy their descendants.

Ha ha makes me laugh, great perspective!

I think Talon is a little worried because this living arrangement is a huge change for him. There is a lot of stress. He got married, he is living with a woman full time, he's now living on a ship and there is another couple with him. It would be a very stressful thing to endure.

Thanks. I think it flows better than the rough draft I sent you.

Just wait until he finds some frilly 'hand wash only' female undergarments hang drying in the bathroom. lol!

Thanks. I live with men. I've always lived with men. My sisters were married and out of the house when I was six or seven, leaving only my brothers. Then I joined the Army at seventeen and was surrounded with 90% men. Got married and had two sons. I have to deal with these situations. Well, maybe not when I was in the Army because there were separate latrines, but the men never remembered to clean the lint trap in the laundry room dryers and always set the machines on fire.

We've been having a fight at my house about the toilet seat. There is a bathroom right outside my office that my boys like to use because it is clean. They have their own dedicated bathroom, but they say, "It smells weird." Well, if they ever flushed the toilet it probably wouldn't smell so weird. Anyway, they have taken to using the bathroom near my office and they never lift the seat and their aim sucks. I tell them, "Put the seat up and leave it up!" I have never fell into a toilet. I hate having to clean up a wet seat every time I go to the latrine. So I guess I have the opposite problem when it comes to the seat.

You're telling me. I have been married waaaaaay too long.

In Star Wars it seems that having kids doesn't doom you as much as the children. A hell of a lot of the YJK characters are now dead, but most of the adults survived. Sci-fi likes to kill off kids because they put a crimp in the hero's style. People don't want to read about changing diapers or getting a babysitter before they go off to save the day.

Thanks! I'm glad you like it.

Thank you all for reading and taking the time to review. I have been thinking of an adventure for the men to go on. It would be boring for them to just be in the ship all the time. I will have something probably by next week. Or a real short post this week and another one next week.

Thanks!

Entry 8

Valla somehow burnt my cereal.
How does one burn cereal?
Perverted Jedi flasher?
great updates