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Beyond - Legends The Kae Kwaad Album - 4/17 - *New* Ship & Alema rock you with their version of My Sharona

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Tahi, Oct 24, 2004.

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  1. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Title: The Kae Kwaad Album
    Author: Tahi
    Genre: Song parodies/Rock and Rap Crossover
    Characters: Various

    Credits: To ThrawnMcEwok for the title - suitably absurd for the material. :D Basically nothing is sacred here, so if you don't like rap or parodies - then you'd best beware. :D

    Track #1: Just bruise it (rap) - Onimem
    Track #2: Kill Han (rap) - Pharm-boi Luke and R2
    Track #3: Palpatine - Queen a la the GFFA (rock)
    Track #4: Meltdown (rap) - Li'l 'Kin
    Track #5: His Rump & Pretty Fly for a Jedi (rap)
    Track #6: Time Walkin' (disco) - Caedus 'n' TK
    Track #7: My Alema (rock) - Ship
    *********

    Title: Just bruise it
    Author: Tahi (in a very silly mood)
    Genre: Rap
    Characters: Onimi (aka Onimem)
    Disclaimer: I don't own Onimi, nor do I want to. I wouldn't object to owning Eminem though. He's okay, although I might have the soap out occasionally to deal with those swear words. Seriously - this rap is based on Eminem's "Just Lose It" from his album: Encore. I admit to a sneaking admiration for his wordplay. Sssshh. Don't let the kids know.

    [If you more sane people are wondering where on earth this came from - blame my kids. We were making up silly versions of Eminem raps, and this one suddenly began to develop in my head. It occurred to me that Onimi would actually make a good rapper - with his propensity for obscure rhymes. :D A knowledge of the words from Eminem's rap would be handy as I've stuck to his rhythms and have repeated some of his phrases, or played around with them.

    I shall now return to my straitjacket. ;) ]

    ******

    Now you probably don't know this - but Nom Anor isn't the only Yuuzhan Vong who likes masquerading as other people. Onimi is another who has a bit of a fetish for alter egos, and sometimes he dresses up as Onimem, rapper extraordinaire. This is one of his raps. It's called "Just Bruise It" or to quote a well known Yuuzhan Vong idiom: "Amphistaves don't kill people, Yuuzhan Vong rappers do."

    Just Bruise It

    Guess who's back, back again
    Onny's back, tell a friend

    Now everyone report to the maw luur
    To the maw luur, to the maw luur
    Now everyone report to the maw luur
    Alright stop, ooglith time

    Calling all warriors of Domain Lah
    Onny's back with a word from Shimrra
    Gotta get those Jeedai, get them good
    Show them who da boss in this hood
    Ah ah ah ah ah, no worries
    Nen Tsup's got a brand new bag of tricks
    To fix those infidel fire sticks
    Iron fist or limp wrist pacifist
    Yep, that's a stab at Jacen
    Love those metaphors, I'm just spacin'
    I go a little bit crazy sometimes
    I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes
    Yun-Harla says throw a few bugs
    Bend down, touch your toes, enjoy those thuds
    In the center of the maw luur
    Put a dash of blorash up your nose
    One little tickle and it explodes
    Anyone else for a brand new scar?
    And if the maw goes "poot poot," it's ok
    You won't smell it, no noses ha!
    Eat your heart out Domain Carr.

    Now I'm gonna make you dance
    It's your chance
    Dudes, shake that ass
    Whoops I mean Tsup, Nen Tsup, Nen Tsup
    Nen Tsup is my world
    Alright now lose it (ah ah ah ah ah)
    Just bruise it (ah ah ah ah ah)
    Go crazy (ah ah ah ah ah)
    Oh baby (ah ah) go rabid (ah ah)

    In Dark Space cruisin' round a star
    I'm on my way to Yuuzhan'tar
    With Domain Lah
    And Domain Carr
    All on board with Lord Shimmra
    Da boss man yo, he ain't too happy
    Since the chosen planet turned out so crappy
    Itching kinda makes him snappy
    All I know is when I get there I'm
    Gonna scratch my body
    So excuse da boss, it?s not like he's a jerk
    But he's feeling just a little stressed out from work
    I let him punch me in the stomach and pull my hair
    'Coz there's this wandering planet he can't find anywhere
    So what's ya name planet, what's ya sign?
    Man you got da boss outta his mind
    Dire (ah ah) Gotta keep up the rhyme
    Gotta keep toeing the party line

    Now I'm gonna make you dance
    It's your chance
    Shimrra, shake that ass
    Whoops I mean Tsup, Nen Tsup, Nen Tsup
    Nen Tsup is my world
    Alright
     
  2. Thrawn McEwok

    Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    May 9, 2000
    [face_laugh]

    Sublimely ridiculous... :D

    - The Imperial Ewok
     
  3. djcati

    djcati Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 20, 2004
    Absolutely brilliant. Hilarious. . . I love it! XD


    "Amphistaves don't kill people, Yuuzhan Vong rappers do."

    [face_mischief]

     
  4. Suzuki_Akira

    Suzuki_Akira Jedi Master star 7

    Registered:
    May 13, 2003
    Wow. That was funny, but it would have been better if you hadn't used too many syllables per line-try rapping this aloud, its a lot harder than it should be.
     
  5. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2002
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] This is great!!!
     
  6. Lusa_Thul

    Lusa_Thul Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2004
    [face_laugh] Well, that was clever! Must have been really hard to write! :)
     
  7. Vongchild

    Vongchild Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    [face_laugh] !!!!!! great, Tahi! this is hilarious!
    Not to mention that in a game of Hot Or Not, I will always support Eminem as Hot. *shrugs* great!

    Let me guess, in the end he is impersonating Nom Anor? And he's running around with a bunch of Shamed Ones??????

    [face_laugh]
     
  8. Abby

    Abby Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2004
    That was FANTASTIC ... really, it's more work than it looks like to take somebody's song and change the words - getting it all to rhyme and make sense and all...

    I loved it :D

    ~Abby~
     
  9. Spike2002

    Spike2002 Former FF-UK RSA and Arena Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 4, 2002
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] That is classic! I love it.
     
  10. The_Jedi_Ambyr-Rose

    The_Jedi_Ambyr-Rose Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 24, 2003
    This was wicked!!! I loved this, as I always enjoy your work, Tahi.
     
  11. Amithyst_Blade

    Amithyst_Blade Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 14, 2001
    Oh my flying force monkey!!!


    *hugs Tahi* that made my day :p
     
  12. KnightedRogue

    KnightedRogue Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Oh, man. That made my day, Tahi!

    When my roommate wakes up, I'm gonna read it to her - her reaction will be hilarious!

    Thanks again!
    *KR*
     
  13. YodaKenobi

    YodaKenobi Former TFN Books Staff star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    May 27, 2003
    I don't own Onimi, nor do I want to. I wouldn't object to owning Eminem though. He's okay, although I might have the soap out occasionally to deal with those swear words. Seriously - this rap is based on Eminem's "Just Lose It" from his album: Encore. I admit to a sneaking admiration for his wordplay. Sssshh. Don't let the kids know.

    I just lost so much respect for you [face_shame_on_you]

    Now you probably don't know this - but Nom Anor isn't the only Yuuzhan Vong who likes masquerading as other people. Onimi is another who has a bit of a fetish for alter egos, and sometimes he dresses up as Onimem, rapper extraordinaire. This is one of his raps. It's called "Just Bruise It" or to quote a well known Yuuzhan Vong idiom: "Amphistaves don't kill people, Yuuzhan Vong rappers do."

    [face_laugh] but this does sound like a great idea...

    In Dark Space cruisin' round a star
    I'm on my way to Yuuzhan'tar


    I thought that part was really clever for some reason.

    Iron fist or limp wrist pacifist
    Yep, that's a stab at Jacen


    [face_laugh]

    That was hysterical, Tahi [face_laugh] You should record it and put it up so we can all download it [face_laugh]
     
  14. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Good lordy! And there was me thinking I'd be lucky to get one response to that piece of insanity. :D (Rifles through other Eminem raps.) ;)

    Okay - responses.
    Thrawn
    Thanks for reading. Yes - LOL - very ridiculous.

    djcati
    Thanks. Glad you liked it.
    I couldn't remember the name of the group that sing that "Guns don't kill people . . . " song. But it's been on the local TV music channel quite a bit, along with Eminem's video of course.

    Suzuki_Akira
    Yep - true. I pretty much copied Eminem's line lengths though, which are uneven, and I must admit to being completely unable to keep up with him when he raps. He blurs quite a few phrases or raps them in a kind of syncopated way into the gaps of the music. Actually quite clever - and hard to replicate.

    We listen to a bit of Pacific Island hip hop here - which tends to be a bit more "even" if you know what I mean.

    NYCitygurl
    Ooh! Another new reader - hi! :) And thanks for reading.

    Lusa_Thul
    Hi - thanks for reading.
    Some bits just came into my head while we were pwatching the video on TV. Others were a bit more tricky. I downloaded a copy of the words from a website so I could a) find out what some of the words were LOL
    abd b) try and match my lines and rhymes to his. I had to change a few rhymes though to fit my words.

    Vongchild
    LOL Hot or not! LOL My son and some of his friends posted their pics on the Hot or Not site last year. They also posted a rather unflattering pic of my husband holding up his stumpy thumb - he chopped half of it off in an accident once. They got a bit annoyed though when he scored higher than they did. :D Vengeance is sweet.

    Let me guess, in the end he is impersonating Nom Anor? And he's running around with a bunch of Shamed Ones??????
    LOL Now there's an idea. Funnily enough, I did consider making the rap belong to Nom Anor in his rapper guise - Nominem. But then I though Onimi would be easier.

    Maybe Nominem could do "Cleaning out my damutek." ;)

    Abby
    Thanks. Some of Eminem's lyrics don't make much sense (to me anyway) so I tried to copy his goofy sections - the essence of them anyway. He's very tongue-in-cheek in this one, and plays on his own earlier raps. Post-modernism a la rap. LOL

    Spike2002
    Wow! Another new reader. Hi. ;)
    Glad you liked it - and thanks. :)

    Ambyr
    Thanks - and good to see you. :)

    Amithyst_Blade
    What a cool name. :) Also - hi, and thanks for reading. And thanks for the hug - that made my morning, too.

    KnightedRogue
    Hi and thanks. :) Glad you got a giggle out of it. Laughing is greatly under-rated methinks. :)

    Hope your room-mate likes it, too. :)

    Yoda
    Oh dear - but I'll always like Nirvana more. ;)

    Me rap it! LOL Hey - maybe I could get my son's group to give it a Jazz/Funk soundtrack. Not! :D
    Thanks for reading anyway.
     
  15. TheCrazyRodian

    TheCrazyRodian Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2004
    What have you done?!

    Tahi... seriously... if there was any doubt in my mind before that you are the coolest writer on these boards, it's gone now. And I don't even like Eminem (though I will also admit to a grudging respect for his freestyle stuff).

    You are really insane, you know that? I mean, seriously. I think I'm gonna change my name now, because I don't feel crazy enough anymore.

    ::Wanders off in shame and awe::
     
  16. AvenKiel

    AvenKiel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 18, 2003
    The perfect parody of the crappiest rapper ever!!! I love it! It's Al Yankovic worthy!!
     
  17. FamousAmos

    FamousAmos VIP star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2003
    Tahi - this was absolutely brilliant. That's all I can say. I laughed the enitre way through it. Also, it made me sad because it reminded me of a plot bunny that died on me(I was gonna have "Darth Vader, Rap Superstar" for the fun Mod Challenge, but it died :_|) Anyways, here were some of my favorite lines:

    Iron fist or limp wrist pacifist
    Yep, that's a stab at Jacen


    I always love knocking Jacen :D :p

    Anyone else for a brand new scar?

    [face_laugh]

    Da boss man yo, he ain't too happy
    Since the chosen planet turned out so crappy


    [face_laugh]

    But he's feeling just a little stressed out from work
    I let him punch me in the stomach and pull my hair
    'Coz there's this wandering planet he can't find anywhere


    Wow, that's awesome [face_laugh]

    Da boss said "Scratch it, and next time you flash
    I'll let Nom Anor touch your body"


    Scary! :eek: [face_worried]

    So low, so low, Solo, Solo
    I don't have any lines to go right here so Solo


    [face_laugh] There aren't enough [face_laugh]'s to tell you how much that made me laugh!

    Great stuff, Tahi :D
     
  18. Vongchild

    Vongchild Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    Nominem????? Cleaning Out My Damutek???? Please, do tell!
     
  19. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    CrazyRodian
    Aww shucks. :) But I insist you keep the crazy bit in your name - avians of a feather must flock together. And grannies aren't meant to be cuckoo. [face_clown]

    Actually I don't like a lot of Eminem's early stuff - but his more recent stuff I find quite amusing. My musical tastes are eclectic - from Baroque through to anything really that tickles my fancy. I try not to get stuck in a rut. :) Life's too short. I have a kind of hypocritical attitude to modern "culture" in that I like to send it up as an entirety but enjoy selective bits of it. ;)

    AvenKiel
    LOL Glad you liked it. I love Yankovich - so your comparison is a great compliment. Thanks. :) Love his SW Cantina song.

    Amos
    Wow! How's that for coincidence. I was just posting on your thread. Finally caught up.

    "Darth Vader, Rap Superstar" for the fun Mod Challenge, but it died
    Aw - that would have been great. Vader would make a good rapper. Actually so would C3PO. ;)

    Glad you had a laugh. Yes I would get nervous at the prospect of Nom Anor coming anyway near me, too.

    Vongchild
    Don't get me going. :) But it could be quite funny. But I'm trying not to get distracted. LOL
     
  20. TheCrazyRodian

    TheCrazyRodian Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2004
    Eclectic music tastes? Excellent--good to see you keep an open mind. Now write us a parody of a Dashboard Confessional song. Make it for Luke, too, 'cause when he was young he was whiny and all. Or maybe you could do R2-D2 and C-3P0 with a Depeche Mode cover. Just imagine Threepio singing "I'm taking a ride with my best friend" all drugged or something. And I'll bet Chewie would make a good death metal singer, because all he ever does is growl and yell anyway.

    I could go on forever...
     
  21. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    So many ideas, so little time.

    Love the image of Chewie as a heavy metal singer.

    I did have an idea for Tahiri/Riina doing "You say eether and I say iither." ;)

    Or C3PO doing "Footloose".

    Maybe we should do a SW musical. LOL

     
  22. Amidala_Skywalker

    Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    Brilliant, Tahi!

    Sometimes I can't tell what Eminem is singing, but then again, it's all in good fun ;). My favourite semi-rap song at the moment is "Where's The Love?" by Black Eyed Peas. Have you heard that one?

    Ams [face_love]


    EDIT: Okay, there goes the smilies. Could the problems on JC get any worse? Better not push my luck :p.
     
  23. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2002
    Bit of obscure trivis: "Star Wars Cantina" was NOT by Weird Al! :eek: Can't remember the guy' name at the moment . . . Weird Al says he wishes he'd done it.

    This was very silly, Tahi. I hate rap (with a few select exceptions, less than 5 total), but this was priceless!


    Dana
     
  24. Knight_Aragorn

    Knight_Aragorn Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2003
    LOL! I loved it! I love parody songs ala Weird Al and this is up there. My favourite lines:

    Iron fist or limp wrist pacifist
    Yep, that's a stab at Jacen


    ...Ah, you've gotta love him.

    Now snap back to reality, Wookiees hate gravity
    Yeah, that's low, couldn't help the depravity
    So low, so low, Solo, Solo
    I don't have any lines to go right here so Solo


    ...Uhm, what? :D Solo makes a good fill.

    And that last line was awesome: Go rabid.

    ...Typical Vong!

    Onimem rules!! ;)
     
  25. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Ams
    Hi! Great to see you. How are things going with your studies?

    We've had the WORST spring here - how about you? I'm thinking of moving to Antarctica in the hope of finding better weather. :D

    Sometimes I can't tell what Eminem is singing, but then again, it's all in good fun. My favourite semi-rap song at the moment is "Where's The Love?" by Black Eyed Peas. Have you heard that one?
    Yep - I have the same trouble. I had to get a copy of the words from an Eminem website.
    Yep - I do know that song, and yep, I like it, too. I quite like a NZ hip hop group called Nesian Mystik. Have they had any airtime in Australia? I also like Scribe.

    Dana
    Fair dinkum? Wow. Well that is a surprise. I really thought that was Weird Al.

    Thanks for reading and liking. :)

    Knight_Aragorn
    Cool - always good to meet new readers. I like your Groucho Marx reference in your sig. Now there was a very funny guy. I can remember watching Marx Brothers movies when I was a kid. LOL Loved Duck Soup and The Big Store.

    Iron fist or limp wrist pacifist
    Yep, that's a stab at Jacen

    ...Ah, you've gotta love him.

    Actually that was a case of the management not sharing the views of the narrator. LOL I'm not averse to Jacen, but I thought Onimem would be.

    Solo makes a good fill.
    I agree.

    Thanks for reading and for the kind feedback.

    Onimem rules!!
    Woohoo. :)

    And the smilies are back, back again,
    Smilies are back, tell a friend. ;)


     
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