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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

The Kyle Katarn Facts thread.

Discussion in 'Literature' started by Kenobi_Kid, Feb 3, 2007.

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  1. Kenobi_Kid

    Kenobi_Kid Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 5, 2005
    I think we all remember the good old "Kyle Katarn is so tough" thread I started last year, and the sucess it enjoyed before it was brought down by the mods because of a slew of similar and totally unnessecary knock-off threads. I've tried on a few occasions to get the mods to unlock it, but being unsecessful in these attempts I think it's time to put the past behind us and start afresh the glorification of Mighty Kyle.

    So let's get down to business.

    Kyle Fact #1: Kyle Katarn is so tough that the very thought of him wiped out all the Jedi and Sith on Ruusaan.

    Kyle Fact #2: Kyle has two ways of entering a room. One is to kick the door down and kill everything inside. The other is to let the room come to him. And it will.

    And please people, no knocking this thread off. I'd hate to see Kyle's second chance spoiled the same way his first was. Many other characters are tough too, but Kyle is special, as we all know.

    (BTW, the old thread can be found in a link in my sig)

    Please redirect your inquiries to the Church of Kyle.
     
  2. Havet_Storm

    Havet_Storm Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 19, 2004
    Right I'm off to start a Boba Fett is so cool thread...
     
  3. Kenobi_Kid

    Kenobi_Kid Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 5, 2005
    [voice=Obi-wan]NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!![/voice=Obi-wan]
     
  4. Charlemagne19

    Charlemagne19 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2000
    Kyle Katarn is so tough that he doesn't need a Chuck Norris thread.
     
  5. Ulicus

    Ulicus Lapsed Moderator star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2005
    Kyle Fact #4: "Taral" is ancient Sith for "Will be whipped by Kyle Katarn"

    Kyle Fact #5: Kyle Katarn once visited the "Cloak of the Sith" region. It is now the "Cloak" region.
     
  6. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    Kyle Katarn is so tough that mods can't kill threads dedicated to him.
     
  7. Ulicus

    Ulicus Lapsed Moderator star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2005
    Kyle Fact #7: Kyle Katarn's first lightsaber worked underwater. Not because Rahn built it that way, but because it was too damn scared not to.

    Kyle Fact #8: Ever wonder why Jason Court didn't make a return appearance? Because NOBODY plays Kyle Katarn.

    Kyle Fact #9: Kyle Katarn's beard has the death sentence in twelve systems.
     
  8. Kenobi_Kid

    Kenobi_Kid Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 5, 2005
    Kyle fact #10: Kyle's beard is the death sentence in twenty systems!
     
  9. SuperLariat

    SuperLariat Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2003
    Kyle Katarn is so tough that he Flow-Walked back in time to Obi-Wan between AoTC and RoTS and forced him to grow and fix his Beard.
     
  10. Carnage04

    Carnage04 Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 8, 2005


    Kyle Fact #11: Alpha-Red was not a bacteria or virus capable of killing off the Vong and all of their biots....it was the Code word for the Jedi finally unleashing Kyle Katarn on the invaders!

    Carnage

     
  11. Obi-Wan-Lebowski

    Obi-Wan-Lebowski Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2007
    These are what i can remember on top of my head:

    Kyle fact #12: The Yuuzhan Vong are not a real species, they're just goo Kyle found between his toes.

    Kyle fact #13: Cortosis disappeared because Kyle used it all to make a comb that didn't break when it touched his beard.

    Kyle fact #14: Centerpoint Station didn't have any tractor beams, Kyle just drop-kickes planets to make it look that way.

    Kyle fact #15: Mace could have survived falling out the window, but unfortunately he landed on Kyles beard.

    Kyle fact #16: Jacen & Jaina isn't Han's children, they're Kyles. Leia became pregnant when Kyle looked at her.

    Kyle fact #17: The Deat Star was a cover up, Alderaan was destroyed when Kyle force-sneezed through a wormhole he had opened out of boredom.

    Kyle fact #18: Yoda used to have 3 strong older brothers, but they mysteriously wanished after pissing Kyle off.
     
  12. Ulicus

    Ulicus Lapsed Moderator star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2005
    The following facts contain references that some posters may find inappropriate:

    Kyle fact #19: Tenel Ka learnt the hard way that you don't give Kyle Katarn a handjob.

    Kyle fact #20: Malak learnt the hard way that you don't give Kyle Katarn a bl... actually, let's not go there.
     
  13. CeiranHarmony

    CeiranHarmony Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 10, 2004
    Kyle Katarn is so hot, a Zeltron girl would fall for him and not vice versa
     
  14. BobaMatt

    BobaMatt TFN EU Staff star 7 VIP

    Registered:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Ulicus: [face_shame_on_you] [face_laugh]
     
  15. Kenobi_Kid

    Kenobi_Kid Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 5, 2005
    Kyle Fact #20: Kyle takes his caf without suger, cream or even hot water.
     
  16. ThrawnRocks

    ThrawnRocks Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 10, 2004
    Little known fact #21: Kyle's body naturally produces caf in the form of sweat, not that Kyle sweats...



    ...unless he wants to.
     
  17. Barriss_Coffee

    Barriss_Coffee Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2003
    #22: The reason there is no full-length novel yet written about an adventure of Kyle Katarn is that the book would spontaneously combust and form a blackhole in its wake, due to the sheer awesomeness it contained.

    The much less toned-down versions of Kyle's exploits, such as the Dark Forces stories, don't even scratch the surface of the truth.
     
  18. Zebra3

    Zebra3 Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 28, 2004
    Kyle Fact #23: Kyle Katarn gave Cloud Strife the idea for the shoulderpad and thus was the reason Sephiroth was defeated.

    Observe:

    [image=http://images.wikia.com/starwars/images/6/6d/Kyle.jpg]

    [image=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/50/Cloud_Strife_art.jpg]

    :p
     
  19. GrandMuffinTarkin

    GrandMuffinTarkin Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2004
    #24: I heard he drank a gallon of whiskey and pissed laser bolts while visiting the Death Star, but for some reason Luke gets all the credit.
     
  20. browwiw

    browwiw Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 10, 2007
    #25: Coruscant once honored Kyle Katarn by naming a street after him. It gets little foot traffic because no man crosses Kyle Katarn!
     
  21. HedecGa

    HedecGa Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 19, 2006
  22. Carnage04

    Carnage04 Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 8, 2005
    Oh man, that's bad. Real bad.

    But leads to...

    Fact #26: Fact #25 isn't even as bad as Kyle Katarn.

    Carnage
     
  23. SephyCloneNo15

    SephyCloneNo15 Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 9, 2005
    Even as a three-year-old, Kyle Katarn was not a man you wanted to mess with. Observe:

    [image=http://images.wikia.com/starwars/images/a/ac/Ani01.jpg] [image=http://images.wikia.com/starwars/images/4/43/Grievous_tank.JPG]
     
  24. BobaMatt

    BobaMatt TFN EU Staff star 7 VIP

    Registered:
    Aug 19, 2002
    The only reason Obi-Wan was able to take on the Chosen One was because he decided to grow a beard. And where do you think he got that idea from?
     
  25. DarkLordofTheSeth

    DarkLordofTheSeth Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    May 22, 2006
    The only reason Kyle Katarn agreed to the "reciprocal apprenticeship" with Mara Jade is because he thought it was a sexual position. Not long after so did she.
     
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