Before The Lair's Xanatos Challenge Stories - Updated 11/20! VaderLVR

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by fallen_one, Aug 10, 2004.

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  1. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Bekah That was sooo good. :eek: It was just gut-wrenching. Wonderfully written. =D=

    o_e Couldn't you have just killed Anakin? :p When you write evil Xan, you don't mess around do you? What a great job. ;)
  2. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    To those first three vigs.
    1) Xan must be truly evil. Check!
    2) He can not be redeemed! Check!, Check!
    3) Make him mean and nasty!!! Check!, Check!, Check!

    Is now afraid of Xanatos! [face_devil]

    VaderLVR64, Bekah_K and obi_ew Great job, 1 dead Andhra, 1 dead Obi, 1 dead Xan, 1 dead Siri all in 3 short vigs. :eek: [face_love] Loved them!

    The lessons are, don?t talk too much to Xan, don?t push Obi, and never assume Xan is dead. I really enjoyed all three but have to say Bekah_K, the extra blaster shot :D and the ?Today had been a good day.? may have made my day.

    Sorry for the combined review, I?m was up too early. :p
  3. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    o_e Another Siriwan? I can't believe I missed that! TWO Siriwans o_e...of course this one is a little different than your other one [face_devil]

    =D= Evil, no holds barred Xan. I just dreaded and wanted to know at the same time what he had planned for our poor Obi-Wan. He exceeded my expectations! :eek: I wasn't expecting Siri as well! And that look he gave Obi-Wan when he was about to die "see you in hell, little one." That is so Xan.

  4. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    The End to All Nightmares


    A full moon illuminated the temple grounds as Qui-Gon moved through the gardens to his favorite bench where he would often watch the stars. The Force signature of Xanatos was all around him, taunting and distracting. No meditation, no sleep, only dreams that spoke of destruction and suffering. All because of one man who hated him more than anything in the universe. It is me you want, young one. Despair clung to Qui-Gon more than any other emotion these last few weeks. Xanatos had come back. And he had come back for him.

    Qui-Gon did not even look up as a shadow began to loom over him. ?I?ve waited a long time, Master.?

    No flinching as the saber was ignited, the saber Qui-Gon remembered countless times in their training duels. He could feel the heat burning at his neck, but he could not look up.

    ?What is the matter with you?? Xanatos kept his saber ignited and moved to lift Qui-Gon?s face up to his.

    Qui-Gon recoiled at his old Padawan?s touch. ?I know what I did to you, and I am sorry Xani. I don?t know how I could ever make up what has happened between us. Kill me if you must.?

    Xanatos appeared to contemplate these words for a moment. ?Then we will do this properly, Master. I want to see the great Qui-Gon fall.? A smile formed around pale lips. ?I want you to use the darkness before you die.?

    Qui-Gon lifted his eyes, and locked with Xan?s. ?What more do you want to take from me??

    ?Ah, my poor suffering Master. Soon, it will be over, I assure you. But first,? he smiled, ? I want you to taste the power you could have had.?

    ?I know nothing of the darkness, Xan.?

    ?You knew it when you killed my father, Master.? Restrained anger was polished and refined as he spoke. ?You have it in you, it only needs to be released.? Xanatos held out his hand to Qui-Gon. ?Kneel down before me and acknowledge that you do not have all the answers.?

    Painfully, Qui-Gon stood, refusing Xanatos? hand. He knelt down before Xanatos, feeling a complete sense of unreality. The moon shone down upon both of them, unfeeling of the pain now passing between former Master and apprentice.

    Xanatos lowered his hand to Qui-Gon?s head, resting gently on his hair. ?Anger is not so foreign or far away, is it??

    Qui-Gon shook his head. ?Release it,? Xanatos commanded. Qui-Gon closed his eyes and he could feel Xanatos trying to move around his inner shielding. He remembered the day he had lost the young man now standing in front of him. Force, if he had only known what this would come to. Regret and anger filled him all too easily.

    ?Yes?? Xanatos said, eyes closed in concentration. ?That is a start. Now take that and feel the Force, how easily it comes to you.?

    Qui-Gon could feel the darkness, there before Xanatos, his hand still resting upon him. He could feel the energy that had lured his young Padawan away from him. But it held no lure.

    Suddenly, Qui-Gon felt his head being pulled painfully back. ?Use it.? Xanatos whispered in his ear as he covered his eyes and mouth and his ability to breath. ?Use it,? he commanded again, wrenching his head back.

    Qui-Gon could not even breathe, when the darkness began to dance around him, both intoxicating and beautiful. The anger was ripped from some hidden well right within him. Suddenly, Xanatos was flung backward, and Qui-Gon landed on his hands and knees as he hungrily took in oxygen to starved lungs.

    Laughter was heard close by as Qui-Gon saw Xanatos getting up from his landing point. ?I knew you could do it.?

    ?You will kill me now??

    ?All in good time.? Eyes again sparkled at Qui-Gon. ?My first lesson of many. Say good bye to the temple, Qui-Gon. You will never walk along these paths again.? Xanatos reached down to Qui-Gon lifting him up from the shoulder. ?Your only path will be darkness and your only redemption. How fitting that I will give it to you.?

    Qui-Gon had always known that he would meet Xanatos again. But as he felt the strong grip on his arm lead
  5. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    ts Man. There for a brief second I almost felt sorry for Jinn. :( Thank goodness it passed quickly! :D Very creepy Xan! Loved it! ;)


  6. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Now the nightmares will come to an end.

    Somehow I think they are only beginning. Xan was right there to swoop in at Qui-Gon?s lowest. He is the hand of darkness and I don?t think Xanatos will give him the death he wanted. :p
  7. Indra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2003
    star 3
    Hey there!
    I found my way back to this thread, so first of all, here's what I think of the other stories.

    VaderLVR64 That was extremely well thought out. Your descriptions were wonderful, the way Xanatos made Andhra feel, the whole atmosphere was chilling. Andhra is a great character and she conveys just the right mix of culprit and innocent bystander who wants to help. Xanatos is so absolutely evil that I just have to love him. Very, very well done. I enjoyed it a great deal.

    Bekah_K :eek: That was so evil that I don't find words for it. :p Poor Qui-Gon, poor Obi-Wan. Sorry, Xan was too nasty in this one to show him any feelings. So very tragic. Well done. :)

    obi_ew Very surprising. Hadn't thought about that possibility at all. How do you manage to write something so heartbreaking without making it sound cheap? This was wonderful! Their feelings were so clearly written and so realistic. I loved Xan's surprise and shock when he realised that Obi-Wan would really kill him. The question only is, did he really stray from the Jedi-path or were his actions still of the light, because killing Xan was the only option? That's something to think about. Anyway, I loved it.

    tangled_sphere I loved the surreal feeling of relief in this. It's like after a long illness when finally you can stop fighting and relax again. Only that the relief Qui-Gon is feeling here will only lead him exactly to that, against which he had fought for so long. Very interesting take on this and the atmosphere was wonderful.


    Now, here's my own pitiful attempt. I simply couldn't get anything together for this challenge, so I wrote more of a reflective piece. It took very long and to make matters worse, it is also very short. Well, after advertising it so well, here it is. :D


    Small Pleasures

    The lower levels of Coruscant were not a place where people normally walked. Or, at least, not the kind of people who still had enough money to survive. Those that came here were beings who had less than the normal beggar one encountered on the 50th or 60th level. After a life far below the poverty line they bore little resemblance to any dignified sentients. Their movements could hardly be described as a walk and certainly not a stride. But the man who was currently moving past the abandoned buildings did stride. He didn?t waver or hesitate, he didn?t look around for anything that could be digestible or any place that could be made a sleeping place for the night. He clearly was a man who knew where he wanted to go and who made it absolutely clear, by his presence alone, that he was not to be disturbed on his way.

    Xanatos Crion didn?t spare any of the poor creatures sitting in front of the rundown buildings a glance, but his senses were on full alert, aware of every whisper spoken, every step taken. He didn?t need to look around to locate the one person he was searching for, as he had known where he would find him the moment he stepped on Coruscant. The darkness swirled through him and a smile lit up his face at the thought of how much trouble the pathetic Jedi would have with this simple tracking exercise. His grin widened when he thought of them not having the opportunity to practise much longer.

    He suddenly stopped in front of one of the better preserved buildings, its structure only taken care of because it was the foundation for one of the skyscrapers reaching into the real Coruscant. Not even hesitating for a fraction of a second, Xanatos entered through a hole that had once held a large double door. Striding through the rubble that had collected inside over the years, he didn?t stumble or even look at the ground. Instead he went straight towards a huddled figure sitting on the far wall. He crouched down in front of the figure and ignited a glow rod to allow the other to see him.

    The man that was revealed in the eerie green glow looked a hundred years old, but was probably much younger. The clothes that hung on his malnourished body were ragged and old. His face was unshaven, his hair long and
  8. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    That was a vicious moment in Xan?s life. His confidence walking into what would be dangerous to others was great, his cold heart was glowing keeping others away. [face_devil] He probably pulls the wings off flies as a pastime. [face_laugh]

    You had me chuckling with evil as he looked to his next target, the late sunlit Temple. Nice picture. :)
  9. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    Indra That was chilling and beautiful descriptions of the poverty and corruption of the lower levels.

    He didn?t waver or hesitate, he didn?t look around for anything that could be digestible or any place that could be made a sleeping place for the night. I can just picture him looking for his prey.

    Chilling Xan with his former enemy and nicely done! [face_devil]
  10. maderic Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2004
    star 3
    I'm not sure if I'm supposed to/allowed to, but I whipped up a little baby for challenge three. It's nothing much, mind you, but I guess I'll share it:

    No Explanations Owed

    "Honestly, Xanatos, I didn't mean--," her cries were interrupted.

    "You didn't mean to be a spy for the Jedi?" he asked, his icy eyes staring right through her.

    "I'm not a spy," she protested.

    "I will be the judge of that. You traveled all the way to Rallus just to find me, correct? If you're not a spy, than you're an obsessed stalker," Xanatos said; a line he found to be humorous only to himself.

    She hesitated, giving Xanatos justification -- in his mind -- to deliver a swift slap across her face. The back of his hand struck violently against her right cheek, filling her mouth with a taste of blood. With her hands bound behind her back, the girl found it hard to keep her balance and she slumped to her knees.

    "You do realize what I'm going to do to you, don't you?" he asked wickedly and added: "I don't take a kind liking to Jedi anymore."

    "Because you're afraid of them," she remarked defiantly.

    Xanatos was amused. "Hardly," he scoffed. "The Jedi have no place in the future of this galaxy. They are but a dying cult."

    "Have you forgotten everything you once knew, Xanatos? You were a Jedi. You were apprenticed to Qui-Gon Jinn--," another slap across the face silenced her.

    "I never wish to hear that name again!" Xanatos shouted. "Qui-Gon Jinn abandoned me, betraying me in every way one can be." With particular malice, he continued, "Qui-Gon Jinn murdered my father."

    "Your father was a criminal, Xanatos. He betrayed you; not Qui-Gon. The only one to blame for your father's death is Crion himself."

    Xanatos fell silent at the mention of his late father's name. He paced the confining quarters of the room they were in; a damp and dim storage room in the basement of a D'geric casino. Xanatos had been busy establishing a deal with the casino's owners when he had met the girl. Xanatos' devotion to the dark side alerted him to the danger this woman posed to him and he had moved quickly to detain her and lock her away in the basement.

    He shifted his black cape to the side. A flicker of light reflected off the hilt of his lightsaber. Studying the girl carefully, Xanatos stated, "You are yet to tell me your name. I prefer to know the identity of those I kill."

    "My name is Roa Varn. Your suspicions proved correct, Xanatos. I am in the service of the Jedi."

    His azure eyes narrowed. "I do not sense the Force within you. You are no Jedi."

    "I never claimed to be. I work for the Jedi, however. I don't like to be known as a bounty hunter, per se, but that is part of what I do. I track down specific targets that the Jedi give me. I'm never assigned to kill these targets; rather, I am to simply locate them."

    "I trust than by your ability to find me that you excel at your occupation," he said.

    "I do my job well," Roa replied. "This is the first time I've ever been caught by someone I've was sent to find, though."

    He smiled; a sadistic grin that bore his teeth. "This will be the last time," he commented.

    "Then you intend to kill me?"

    "Did I say that much?" he questioned, his voice dropping nearly to a whisper. "If, however, it is in your hopes that I end your life, I shall be more than willing to comply with your request."

    "You don?t scare me, Xanatos," she said coolly.

    His right hand fell to his lightsaber hilt and he drew the weapon, sending the shimmering blood-red blade into the air and illuminating the room with its glow. He could sense the fear emanating from Roa; an alarmed look on her face and a frightened reaction to his action were just two of the physical changes he could see on her.

    Xanatos waved the weapon by her face before saying, "You don't seem sure about that now."

    "You won't kill me. You know you won't because you know what I said earlier was the truth. You won't kill me because you're afraid to.
  11. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Indra Very scheming is your Xan. Seemed right in character for him to leave his victim to suffer for eternity. ;)

    maderic Welcome! This Xan was certainly evil and cold blooded. :D

    "That, my dear, is why the Jedi would never take me back. As you can see," he smiled, "well, perhaps you can't," a sick grin as he examined her decapitated corpse, :eek:

    I had to laugh at that line even though it was rather creepy. Great job!
  12. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Wow I am really enjoying all these evil Xan responses!

    Excellent job everyone!
  13. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    maderic Its good to see you here and welcome!

    If you're not a spy, than you're an obsessed stalker," [face_laugh] That's a great line. You've captured that cold disturbed side of Xan here, good job :)
  14. vader_incarnate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2002
    star 4
    Because (1)I'm not very intelligent (o_O) and (2)I didn't know this thread existed utnil after I'd posted it in its own thread, here's my response. [face_blush] About what it takes to break a hero beyond all repair and what happens afterwards.
  15. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Maderic Xan showed he will not be redeemed. His path is chosen. There must be something wrong with me. I can?t help laughing in glee at every evil ending. Must be the Sith in me. :D I like it when they underestimate him. It is deadly. :)

    You have to love his twisted sense of humor. Cold, calculated and good looking. What more do you need? [face_worried] [face_laugh]
  16. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    Okay, finally got a chance to de-lurk and respond. Have really loved evil-Xan

    VaderLVR - She should know better than to even think of crossing Xan. I think the firt peron made it more chilling.

    Bekah - Looking back to Jinn, he shrugged, ?Just to be sure.? That really added a lot. It just showed how cold Xan really was.

    oe - You know how I feel about this one. :_| It was sad and beautiful. Really glad Xan got it in the end.

    t_s - Some fates are worse than death it would seem.

    Indra - You have to give Xan that - he is focused. :p

    maderic - Well, she had Xan all wrong. :p
  17. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    Here we go, I finally caught up with the evil Xans. Now I won't feel guilty when I eventually post mine. :p

    VL ?
    They were hard and angry and seemed to regard every being around him with ill-concealed disgust.

    Oooooh, I can just see that.

    His utter stillness made me uneasy.

    Funny how Xan had to turn evil in order to learn patience. [face_laugh] You know, this is a bad thought, but that was some lucky girl ? all that love from Xan! :* :p


    Bekah ?

    Raising an eyebrow, he smirked, ?I guess they can teach rejects new tricks after all.?

    Haha! I love this Xan. :D

    ?Whenever you look to your side and see the empty space, remember it was I who took him from you.?

    Ooooh, that gave me shivers.

    Stopping beside Kenobi, he released the blaster from his side and fired a shot. Looking back to Jinn, he shrugged, ?Just to be sure.?

    [face_laugh] Love Xan even more now.


    OE

    Greenday, hmmm?

    Tears blurred his vision as he clutched her tightly to his chest and began to rock her back and forth.

    Very Moulin Rouge. :_| And the idea that Xan knew Obi-Wan so well as to know about Siri, that?s scary!


    t_s

    ?Your only path will be darkness and your only redemption. How fitting that I will give it to you.?

    :eek: Woohoo! Love that Xan had such control over him.


    Indra

    Why should I understand weakness?

    Classic. :cool: And the image of Quayn running away from the light was just chilling and creepy.


    maderic

    I believe that somewhere inside you, a part of you still wishes you were a Jedi," she articulated; a moot point in Xanatos' eyes.

    [face_laugh] Shows how much she knows. That clean sweep of her head was great!


    I keep laughing at most of these evil Xans. Is it just me? :p He?s just so entertaining when he?s evil. :D
  18. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    Here's mine. [face_worried] It's long, sorry. :p

    The Silent Subjugated


    Timeframe: post-TPM
    Characters: Aalto, Xan (duh)
    Genre: Evilness!
    Rating: I didn?t use any bad words or dirty entendres, so I guess it?s a G. :p
    Disclaimer: Okay, I was inspired by ?Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,? so I stole a couple of lines from it. And what happens here might not seem evil, but if it happened to me, I?d be just as devastated. Not to mention pissed off.


    According to ancient lore, the Golovon scrolls detail the Battle of Orviin, an eyewitness account of what was not the bloodiest though surely the most significant confrontation between two cultures at odds for centuries. Scholars, archaeologists, and scientists are not unaware of the existence of these cultures and their tumultuous history. Layers of preserved ruins in the bedrock have provided ample evidence as to how each one lived.

    The issue that has always plagued them, however, is the Battle of Orviin. It is said that history is written by the victors, and no one knows this better than the defeated. Numerous texts and remains all tell the story of how the glorious victors overcame adversity on the battlefield of the Firiann Plains. Little is left from the conquered.

    But the Golovon scrolls, long sought after, tell the story from the point of view of those defeated people, thanks to one historian who sat on a hill above the fighting ground and described in detail the movements of both sides. Included in the documentation, it is rumoured, are the missing pieces to the tale of who started what and why.

    For Aalto Riordan, Jedi Historian, the possible discovery of these scrolls is much more than a triumph for history and its scholars, or a completion of the mysterious truth that many seek regarding the conflict. Such events are the justification for his chosen path in life, of the sort that he can relate to his students, in the hopes that they, too, will understand the value of studying history.

    Master Shulre, one of the elder historians in the Temple, charges Aalto with the honourable task of inspecting the scrolls and bringing them back to Coruscant for further study. Along with Shulre and the director of Coruscant?s Museum of Antiquity, Aalto will have the opportunity to be a part of a momentous occasion.

    There is always the chance that these particular scrolls will not be genuine, but Aalto nevertheless fidgets with anticipation on the way to Adarlon. The mere fact that Master Shulre asked him, rather than an older and more experienced historian, threatens to put a silly smile on his face. Aalto is utterly grateful and deeply humbled by his elder?s confidence in him.

    Wasting no time once the ship lands, he quickly makes his way to the estate of Lacomie Necaz, the man purported to have the scrolls in his protection. His step is nearly springy, for try as he might, he simply can?t shake the excitement. The Golovon scrolls! It would be like talking to Golovon himself, sitting on the hill with him and observing the battle. Aalto lengthens his strides as he approaches the main gate of Necaz?s mansion.

    The room he is led to is like many others in the residence, large and lavishly furnished. The one main difference is the almost ridiculous number of valuable artefacts that decorate the space.

    ?I built the entire house around this room,? says a voice from behind him. ?These works were always my first priority, and so I ensured that they were well taken care before moving onto anything else. This room had to be perfect.? Necaz steps forward next to Aalto, adding, ?A shrine, if you will.?

    ?A very nice one,? Aalto admits. ?You have a very impressive collection, sir.?

    ?And there is one piece you are particularly interested in seeing, is there not?? Necaz smiles knowingly and leads Aalto over to a small display stand. Covering the top is a dark and beautifully embroidered cloth, which Necaz lifts away fluidly. Stepping back, he waits for Aalto?s reaction.

    He is not disap
  19. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Love the changes you made. Poor Aalto. :( Xan was cruel to tease and taunt him so. I'm sure this did little to endear Obi-Wan to Aalto.
  20. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    His step is nearly springy, for try as he might, he simply can?t shake the excitement. The Golovon scrolls! It would be like talking to Golovon himself, sitting on the hill with him and observing the battle.

    You have to love his giddiness here. Like a kid going to the candy store. Too bad someone just wanted to toy with him. :(

    They even assumed I was dead, and that?s especially insulting for a man who always has a backdoor,

    I really liked this line in particular. Nice job.
  21. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    Jade! I got to read two of your evil Xan stories in one day! :D

    Xan is so very evil here, keeping those scrolls just out of hands reach. He certainly knew how to push Aalto's buttons. And I love that you used a new character in Xan's life ;)

    Deep blue eyes study him with a mocking light. ?And what would you know of love, Jedi? You?re not allowed to know what love is.?

    So evil...[face_devil]

  22. Indra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2003
    star 3
    I absolutely loved it, Jade. It was original, imaginative and it made me want to kill Xan and that was after all the feeling that should be provoked by that challenge. :D
    I loved all the detailed background information and how you portrayed Aalto's excitement and his passion for what he is doing and later how it is sucked out of him by what Xan has done.
    It was wonderfully written and I didn't suspect in the least that Necaz actually was Xanatos. Really, really well done. I enjoyed it a lot. =D=
  23. fallen_one Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2004
    New challenge: Xan Drabbles!


    Rules


    1. A drabble is a work of exactly 100 words. 99 is not enough and 101 is too many.

    2. The title does not count toward the 100, and it may be up to 15 words.

    3. Xan must feature in the drabble.

  24. Indra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2003
    star 3
    My first drabble. Written while being tired and having a headache, so forgive me, please.

    Only A Job

    ?Kill him. You?ll get the money once the job is done.?

    The man in the black coat nodded and let a chilly smile show on his face before he turned away from his employer and crossed the spaceport. He was looking forward to this particular job. It would be easy.

    *******************

    The red blade cut through the mercenary before he could even raise his blaster. Without looking back Xanatos continued on his way towards his speeder. Another one of those. He hardly worried about them anymore. Someone would find the body and dispose of it. Things like that weren?t his problem.
  25. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Weee!! That didn;t take long! :D

    Xan as a killer for hire! I can see him doing that. Great job Indra! :D
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